Sex Coach by M. S. Parker
“Not yet,” he said .
There was something strange in his voice and I frowned. This wasn't his commanding tone letting me know we weren't done. This was something different .
“There's something I need to tell you .”
Six
I sat up, feeling more exposed than I had just moments before. Cade didn't say anything as I pulled the blanket from behind me and wrapped it around my shoulders. I was glad for the few minutes of silence. I wasn't sure what he was going to say, but I had a feeling it was going to change everything .
“I always know the right thing to say,” he began .
I looked up at him, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were on his hands as they sat on his lap .
“For the past six years, I've always had the right words to say to every woman I've ever met. I know what she wants and what I need to do to give it to her.” He ran his hand through his hair. “But now, here... I can't find the words I need .”
“Just say it, Cade.” My voice sounded harsher than I meant it to be. My heart was pounding painfully against my ribcage, my palms sweaty. He knew. That had to be it; had to be the reason he’d withdrawn so suddenly. He'd figured out that I had feelings for him and he was trying to find a way to let me down easily .
He took a deep breath and my heart clench as I waited for the words to come. Instead he said the last thing I expected. “I fucked up .”
“How?” I said the word slowly, trying to understand what was behind this confession .
“I made a big deal about how I keep things professional and how, if there's the slightest bit of emotional involvement, everything ends.” He looked at me now. His expression was still guarded, but I could tell it was a struggle for him. “But I fucked up. The things I'm feeling for you, Aubree...” He reached out and brushed his fingers across my cheek. “They're anything but professional .”
I caught my breath and told myself to calm down. I needed him to explain because if this was some sort of test, I didn't want to make a wrong move .
“When I'm with you.” He shook his head. “I can't think straight. I lose control.” He gestured toward the back of the loft where the bathroom was located. “When we were in the shower and you stopped me because we weren't using a condom… that was the first time in nine years I've forgotten to use one .”
The memory of that night warmed me. I hadn't even thought of it that way .
“I tried telling myself it was because you were – and please don't take this the wrong way – more submissive than any woman I'd been with in a long time. Women who want me to dominate them, they still consider themselves in charge. They don't fully give themselves over to me.” A ghost of a smile played at his lips. “But you, even when you're fighting with me, you trust me .”
I wasn't even tempted to protest him referring to me as submissive. I hadn't explored that part of me yet, but this wasn't the time to try to figure it out. I didn't want to speak, didn't want to risk breaking whatever spell it was that had him talking so freely .
“I pretended everything was a physical reaction, because how you responded to me was something I hadn't gotten from other women I'd been with.” He put his hand on my cheek. “And then I saw you with Jason .”
I pulled the blanket more tightly around me. It wasn't a memory I wanted to dwell on .
“The reason I was so adamant about you going through with fucking him was because I thought it'd break this hold you have on me. I thought it would help me see you as just another client, but it didn't.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “Even if he hadn't hit you, I would've stopped things.” His hand slid down my neck, stopping before it went under the blanket. “I can't stand the thought of another man touching you .”
I couldn't breathe .
His voice grew rough and I could see the struggle on his face as he tried to maintain control. “I know this means we're done, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before...” He gestured around us. “I had to look at you one more time. See that expression on your face when you came.” He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip and then pulled his hand away. “But I knew I couldn't take my own pleasure in you, not like this .”
I put my finger on his lips, stopping the flow of words. “When you said you had to tell me something, I thought you were going to say this was over... because of me.” He frowned and I continued. “I feel the same way. I've been trying to lie to myself, to deny the feelings I have for you, hoping they'd go away. They haven't .”
He started to shake his head. “Aubree, that's... I ...”
“Hey, usually when someone confesses that they care about you too, it's a good thing.” I tried to keep my tone light, but I didn't understand why he was protesting .
“You don't know,” he said, looking away. “There are things about me ...”
“Cade,” I spoke slowly. “I know you have sex for money. Kinda how we met.” I reached up and turned his face back toward me. “Whatever it is, you can tell me .”
After a moment, he began, “I told you about my mom, but I didn't tell you what I did.” I paused and watched the guilt slide into grief on his face. “I ran. I knew she was dead. There was no point in calling an ambulance and I knew that if I called the cops, they'd arrest my dad. I knew they'd want me to testify against him. And I knew he'd just charm his way out of it like he did everything else. They'd make me go with him, and he'd spend every day until I was eighteen reminding me that it was all my fault. If he didn't just kill me too .”
“Cade,” I started to speak but he cut me off .
“I was on the streets for a few months, doing odd jobs here and there, trying to stay under the radar.” He paused for a moment, like he was trying to decide if he wanted to tell me what came next .
During that silence, I realized I was about to discover how he'd gotten involved in prostitution in the first place. My throat grew tight as I understood the level of trust he was placing in me .
“There was this rich woman, maybe thirty or so, and she hired me to do some work around a house she'd inherited. She fed me, let me stay in the guest house... and then she offered me money to fuck her .”
I was glad my hands were under the blanket and he couldn't see me twisting my fingers together. What kind of woman propositions a kid she should've been helping? Okay, so he may have been eighteen by then, but it didn't mean she hadn't taken advantage of him and his situation .
“For three years, I serviced her and her friends.” Cade was looking away from me again. “They were the ones who taught me everything. How to please a woman physically, how to see what they want, give them what they don't even realize they need .”
I reached out and wrapped my hand around his. He looked over at me .
“I hadn't been a virgin when I'd met her, but I'd only had sex with one person.” He gave me a sad smile. “I'd been like you. Innocent. Not like I am now .”
“Did you lie to me?” I asked and he looked startled at my question. Good. I needed him to understand what I was going to say and catching him off guard was the best way to get his attention. “All of the things you told me about how I shouldn't be ashamed of who I am or what I want? Were those lies ?”
“No.” He shook his head .
“Then why are you ashamed of who you are ?”
Anger flashed across Cade's face. “Because, while I was fucking Penny and her socialite friends, my father was beating the shit out of his new girlfriend and her kid .”
Now I got it .
“I should have stopped him,” he said fiercely. “It took almost two years of domestic abuse claims and putting the kid in the hospital half a dozen times before the girlfriend finally had enough and shot him. She got off on self-defense, but it never should've happened .”
I could feel his hand shaking beneath mine .
“If I'd called the cops, testified, she never would've been put in that position .”
“You don't know what would've happened,” I said. “She could've met a
“I should've been the one to do it. Not her.” He pulled his hand away and turned until his back was to me. “That's the kind of man I am, Aubree. A coward. That's why you should leave now and never look back .”
I sat up on my knees, letting the blanket fall off my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around him from behind, the feel of his bare skin against mine sending a shiver through me. I pressed my lips against the side of his neck .
“I know what kind of man you are, Cade. You saved me, and not just from Steven or from Jason. You saved me from myself.” I spread my hands out on his chest, one over his heart. “You showed me who I could be .”
“Aubree, I –”
I ran my hand down his flat stomach, not stopping until I was cupping him through his jeans. He'd gone soft while we talked, but I heard his breathing hitch when I squeezed him. “No,” I said firmly. “No more putting yourself down.” I flexed the hand on his chest, letting my nails dig into his skin. “I want you. I need you.” I put my mouth against his ear and spoke in a low, sultry voice. “Fuck me .”
Seven
C ade spun toward me and I gasped at the heat in his eyes. He scooped me up and stood as I threw my arms around his neck. Before I could make a sound, his mouth covered mine. I parted my lips, my tongue running out to meet his. I played with the curls at the base of his neck, lightly tugging at them until he growled. His teeth scraped at my bottom lip and I moaned. It still amazed me that I had spent years with Ronald and he'd never once done this to me, and Cade had known almost from moment one what I liked. Being with someone who used to be a professional was definitely going to have its advantages .
He carried me to the bed in the corner and laid me down. It was darker back here, the lights from the photo shoot offering barely enough to see by. It was perfect lighting, softening everything but the way his eyes were blazing. I flushed, warmth spreading across my skin .
He stood next to the bed and stripped off his jeans, revealing a pair of snug black boxer briefs. He kicked the jeans aside and smiled down at me as he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his underwear. Anticipation coiled in my stomach. I wondered if I'd ever get tired of this, of the slow reveal of each inch of tanned, muscular flesh. In the time it had taken him to walk me to the bed and take off his clothes, his cock had started to swell. My mouth watered at the memory of how he'd felt sliding between my lips, across my tongue .
“I said that I felt like you trusted me.” Cade reached over to a battered stack of drawers and opened the top one. “Am I right ?”
I nodded, wondering where he was going with this. Wherever it was, I was positive I was going to like it. “I trust you .”
The smile that spread across his face was equal parts seductive and pleased. He pulled a strip of fabric from the drawer. By the wicked glint in his eyes, I could tell he was either going to blindfold me or tie me up. I was hoping for the latter, my heart skipping a beat as I thought about how it would feel, my hands restrained, unable to move .
“Do you remember your safe words?” he asked. “There are some things I want to do with you... to you, and I don't want to freak you out .”
I stretched my arms above my head, hoping he'd understand that I wasn't just agreeing to do what he wanted… I wanted it too. “I remember them.” I stretched my body out, my breasts pushing against the bra until my nipples almost popped free. “Do what you want to me. For me. With me .”
“Fuck, Aubree,” he groaned. “Do you have any idea how hot you are ?”
I grinned at him. “Very. Or so I've been told .”
He knelt on the bed next to me and leaned close. His cock brushed against my ribcage, drawing my attention for a moment. Then his hands were at my wrists. He crossed them, one over the other, and then wrapped the strip of cloth around them. It wasn't tight, but I could tell it would limit my movement. I couldn't see what he was doing, but when he sat back, I gave a tug and confirmed my hands had been tied to something .
“Here.”
Something soft slid into my palm. I wrapped my fingers around it .
“Two quick pulls and it'll release your hands .”
I nodded to show I understood, then moaned as his hands ran across my ribcage and up to cup my breasts. The little push he gave them caused the material to slip down enough to expose my nipples. The cool air caressed the already hard points, raising goose bumps along my skin .
Cade's fingers teased at my nipples, eliciting little gasps of pleasure from me as he tugged and rolled until I began to squirm. When he released them, he leaned back and reached for one of the drawers next to his bed .
“I once told you that I wanted to use nipple clamps on you,” Cade said. “But when I lived here, I couldn't afford any of the toys I have now.” He held up two wooden clothespins. “These, however, can work in a pinch.” He smirked at his play on words .
Shit.
He moved until he was straddling me, a knee on either side of my waist. I stared up at him, appreciating the magnificent picture he made above me, choosing to focus on him instead of the medieval torture device he held in his hands .
The first clothespin clamped down on my nipple and I sucked in a breath as the pain caused me to arch and twist on the bed. It wasn't too dissimilar from his fingers twisting me when it came to pain level, but it felt very different otherwise; a harsh persistence that finally faded into numbness. I bit my lip as Cade held the other one close to me, teasing me, threatening me with its presence. Finally, it was attached and my breath hissed through my lips as the pinch seared through me .
“Feel it,” he whispered as his fingers traced around my breast. “Accept the pain, don’t fight it. It’s only reminding you that you’re alive. Welcome it .”
One part of me wanted to twist his balls in my hands and ask him to embrace the pain. Now, I understood why he’d tied me up. Another part, though, felt the pain morph into something deeply sensual. My body was on high alert. I could feel everything .
He slid down my body, using his knees to push my legs apart until he was laying between them .
“I think I'll want you to wear these out in public some time.” Cade ran his finger down the length of my slit. “We'll go someplace nice and I'll take you right there, slide inside you while people are all around us .”
I made a noise as his finger dipped between my folds. It circled my entrance, then moved up to move around my clit, never quite touching it .
“I can imagine it,” he said. “The sounds you'd try to keep in.” His finger slid inside me and my body jerked, still sensitive from the previous play. “The way your pussy would grip me .”
My back arched as he ran his tongue over my sensitive flesh. I tugged at the restraints, wanting to bury my hands in his hair and press his face against me. Still, I didn't even consider freeing myself. There was something to be said for relinquishing control .
“Would I be able to make you lose control?” He added a second finger. “Make you forget everything but the sensation of me inside you? Filling you, pressing against all those places inside of you that make you scream my name .”
He curled his fingers and rubbed against my g-spot. I cried out, my hips bucking up. He chuckled as he put a hand on my stomach, pushing me back down against the mattress. His tongue flicked the top of my clit and I swore. The restraints tightened around my wrists, sending a twinge of pain along muscles that were starting to burn. The sensations mingled with the dull ache in my nipples. Then there was the pleasure coursing up through me from his fingers and his mouth on my clit. I closed my eyes, unable to process all of the varying forms of stimulation .
I hovered on the edge of an orgasm and then the hand on my stomach slid up to my breasts. He flicked one of the clothespins, sending a jolt of pain down through me .
“Fuck!”
A second flick knocked it off and I whimpered as the blood rushed back into my nipple
I yelled his name as I came, waves of pleasure washing over me. Even while I was coming, his fingers slid out of me and then I felt one, slick with my own juices, rub against my asshole. The suction on my clit increased as he pushed his finger inside. My body convulsed, not knowing where to go or what to do. Pain and pleasure exploded and a second orgasm hit me hard enough to knock the wind out of me .
When I recovered enough to start dragging in deep breaths, Cade was leaning over me and untying my hands. He sat back on his knees as he began to massage my wrists and hands .
“That wasn't too much ?”
I could hear the concern in his voice but couldn't manage more than a weak shake of my head. I felt similar to how it had been after the first time he'd spanked me, like I'd finally found someone who got it, who understood a side of me I hadn't really understood myself .
“Good,” he said. “Because we're not done .”
He helped me roll over and I winced as my sore nipples rubbed against the blanket. A definite downside to the things I liked was how uncomfortable certain parts of the anatomy got as the endorphins faded .
“One day,” he said. “I'm going to put you in this position and fuck your ass.” His hand ran down my spine and over the swell of my buttocks. “Not tonight though.” I heard a condom wrapper being opened. “I'm so hard, I wouldn't last more than thirty seconds inside your ass, and when I do it, I want you to enjoy it .”
If someone had asked me a few months ago about having anything in my ass, I would've turned red and sputtered something about how I didn't think so. Now, my world was being expanded and Cade's words were making me even wetter .