Shameless by Teresa Mummert
“That reminds me. Didn’t Lucas kick your boyfriend's ass once?”
She folded her arms across her chest as her upper lip began to twitch. “They only got in a fight because Lucas lied and told Seth we’d slept together,” she snapped.
“And he believed him? Wow. That’s kind of sad.”
She glared at me as she looked me up and down. “Not as sad as you thinking Lucas actually cares about you.”
I closed the case, unable to contain my smile as I carried it out of the door and headed to work at the Dive Bar. Even with the lack of sleep, I felt like a new person. No, I felt like the old me, the one I had somehow lost along the way as I struggled to discover who I wanted to be and what I wanted from life. I dug my phone from my purse, hesitating only momentarily before clicking on his name to call him.
It had ringed several times before his voicemail picked up. I clicked to end the call, not wanting to leave my thanks as a message.
The bar was nearly empty, and I slipped into the back to place my violin on a shelf as I tied on my apron to begin my shift.
“You look happy,” Milo called out with a smile as he dipped a dry rag inside of a freshly cleaned mug.
“Is it possible I could get off early tonight? I kind of have something important to do.”
“Anything you want to talk about?” He asked, his eyebrow raised.
“Let’s see how it goes first. I don’t want to jinx myself.”
He smiled, shaking his head. “I think I can handle this place for a few hours without you.”
“I owe you one.”
“Is your friend coming in tonight?” he asked, making a sour face.
“I’m not sure.” I pulled my phone from my apron and sent him a quick text message asking him to call me when he had the chance.
***
The hours dragged on, and Lucas never made an attempt to contact me. I knew I told him that I didn’t want to be his friend anymore, but I was angry. If he would just answer the damn phone, I could explain that to him.
I clocked out and make my way to Swank for my interview. I rubbed my damp palms against my pants before grabbing my violin case, gripping it tightly in my hand. It had seemed like forever since I’d played and that made my nerves even worse.
The restaurant was packed, and I felt embarrassed because I wasn’t dressed up, but the owner didn’t seem to mind. He looked just as out of place as I felt in the fancy restaurant.
“My name is Alex,” he said with a smile as he held out his hand for me. I took it, hoping my palm wasn’t still slick.
“I’m Henley.” I tried to smile back, but I know it probably looked like I was cringing. “I haven’t played for a while, but it’s something I love to do. This is a new violin so it may take me a few minutes to get used –”
“Do you always talk this much?” He asked, the smirk still playing on his lips.
“Yeah – yes.” I cleared my throat. “I have been told that... yes.”
“To be honest, I wouldn’t really know if you were doing a good job or not. As long as it doesn’t sound like cats fighting in an alley, I’m sure you won’t have anything to worry about.” He sank down on a chair, stretching out his long legs with a groan.
“Oh, ok.” I sat my case down and popped it open, my eyes dancing over the ornately painted instrument. It was absolutely beautiful, a work of art that could be displayed. It almost felt wrong to play it.
I let my eyes fall closed and took a deep breath before pulling the bow across the strings. It hummed to life, instantly calming my nerves. It felt like I was home. I hadn’t even realized how much I’d missed my music.
As the song came to an end, it took me a moment before I blinked my eyes open. Alex’s eyes were locked onto mine, and he nodded once. “When can you start?” He asked as a smile spread across my face.
“Really?”
“You can work with Alice to set up a schedule that works for you. You go to Shame U, right?”
“Yes. I go there, and I work part time over at Dive Bar. Is that a problem?”
“Not at all,” he shook his head. “I’m sure we can figure out a way to schedule you in and maybe still manage to give you some time to sleep.” He laughed, his face suddenly softening. “We also have an opening for a waitress if you’re interested in getting out of the bar scene.”
“Oh.” I cleared my throat as I thought it over. I couldn’t just leave Milo hanging like that, and I definitely didn’t want to work side by side with Harper. My gut twisted, and my good mood deflated as I pictured her at Lucas’ side. “I can’t.” I made a face. “Milo needs my help at Dive Bar. I can’t just walk out on him.”
“I respect your loyalty.” He pushed from his seat with a groan and held out his large palm. I took it, shaking it once before letting my arm fall to my side. “I’m sure it will all work out in the end. Welcome to the family.”
“Thank you.” I turned to leave; a wide grin plastered on my face as I slipped back out into the night among the trick-or-treaters.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
LUCAS
The flat was packed with students, overflowing into the stairwell. I had been tattooing nonstop for the past six hours, and my hand was too cramped to continue, but I didn’t have a choice. After I’d spent the money I’d saved on Henley’s violin, I had to make some quick cash. The Halloween party gave me an abundance of clientele.
“Who’s next?” I asked as I stepped out of my room shirtless, my hand on the small of a girl’s back as I led her down the hall.
“Who’s the lucky lady?” Beef yelled as he picked up the sign-in chart.
“Henley,” I mumbled as my eyes locked on hers as she stood frozen in our entryway.
“She’s not on the list, bro,” Beef replied. “If she cuts, it’ll be anarchy,” he joked, and I knew he was probably referencing some movie, but I had no idea what it was.
The girl I’d just worked on handed me a wad of cash, and I took the money, hurrying through the crowd to get to Henley as she disappeared back through the doorway.
“Henley!”
I finally caught her halfway down the stairs.
“What are you doing here? I didn’t think you were going to show,” I said as I grabbed her arm.
“Clearly,” she snapped as she glanced over her shoulder at me, shrugging free from my grip and continuing on down the steps.
“Henley, what the hell is wrong? How did the interview go?”
She stopped and turned back to face me as she shrugged, and that’s when she noticed the gash across the side of my head that disappeared into my hairline. “What happened?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Who did this to you?”
“Leave it,” I snapped. Grabbing her fingers, that hung midair. “I deserved it.”
Her eyes searched mine for a moment before she shook her head like she was disappointed in me. “Sorry, I interrupted your orgy. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You haven’t been answering your calls.”
“My what?” I yelled before laughing.
“You heard me.”
I laughed again, and her face turned brick red.
“You helped me plan this party, remember? Come on.” I grabbed her hand to pull her upstairs, but she wiggled free from my grip. “Jesus, Henley. Just trust me for once.” I held out my hand, and after thinking it over for a minute, she placed her delicate fingers in mine and let me drag her back upstairs to my place. I pulled her through the crowd and into my bedroom where she recoiled again.
“See,” I motioned toward the table with inks and my tattoo gun, but her eyes went straight to my bed. “Look,” I grabbed her chin with my hand and turned her face to the station I’d set up to work.
“Tattoos?”
“Yeah. It’s how I make extra money to pay bills, but it's not actually legal.” I shrugged before walking over to the table. “I was just working.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“Se
She followed me over to the small desk and ran her fingers over the edge. “You didn’t dress up.”
“I didn’t really feel like it,” I replied, running my fingers through my hair before stretching my neck to the side. “Are you going to tell me how it went?”
She smiled. “I officially have two jobs.”
I wrapped my arms around her, lifting her from the ground as she giggled. “I want to hear you play.” I lowered her back to the ground.
“We got a line backing up out here,” Beef called into the room causing Henley to jump.
“Maybe some other time? I kind of left my shift early to go to Swank, so I’m going to go help Milo close.”
“You’re not staying to celebrate?”
She shook her head before tucking her hair behind her ear, her eyes going back to the cut on the side of my head. “Thank you for the violin. It’s beautiful. And for the interview at Swank. Tell Harper I owe her. It was kind of her.”
“Harper?” I bit down on the inside of my cheek. Of course, she assumed the person I knew that could get her the interview was Harper, and I wasn’t ready to spill my entire history to her or anyone else for that matter. “I’ll let her know you said that.”
“I would have told her myself, but she wasn’t there.”
“Yeah... she doesn’t work there anymore.”
“What? What happened?”
“It’s a long story. How are things with Rhys?”
“Um... good. He will probably be coming by some more now that he is stationed so close.”
“Good. I’m happy for you.” I forced a smile.
She stared at me for a long moment, and it felt like we were saying goodbye without actually speaking all of the things on our minds. I didn’t want her to walk out, but I knew in the end, if I didn’t let her go now, I would have to in the future. It was the way things were. She had a chance to be happy with someone, and I couldn’t be selfish and keep her from that. “Bye, Henley.” I swallowed against the lump in my throat. She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes and turned to make her way back through the crowd.
***
After my hand had gone numb and most of the party guests were passed out or had gone home, I pulled out my mobile and called my sister, in hopes that she was ready to talk again.
“If you don’t talk to me, I can’t fix whatever is wrong,” I pleaded as I fell back onto my bed, overcome with exhaustion.
“You’ll hate me,” her confession was so quiet that I could barely hear her speak.
“Never. You know I love you,” I reassured her as she fell silent.
“This is all my fault.”
“None of this is your fault. He decided to run from his responsibilities. You know that.”
“He left because of me, Lucas. He left to protect a secret about me.”
“What?” I sat up, running my fingers through my hair as I struggled to understand her.
“What secret, Amelia?” I waited, but she didn’t speak. “What secret?” I asked again, more forcefully.
“He’s not my father.”
“What do you mean? Who told you this?”
“I’ve known since we were fifteen. Your mother knows too.”
My mind was racing with all of the memories we shared, the time we’d spent together as I talked about trying to find him. She’d never said a word to me.
“I don’t understand.”
“My mum had been out drinking with friends. Your parents were there. She left early from the pub because she wasn’t feeling well and she was attacked. She didn’t know until much later that she was pregnant. By then it was too late.”
“Too late for what?”
“Too late to get rid of me,” she confessed, her voice shaking. “Your father claimed me as his own but people still talked, and your mum wanted him to tell everyone the truth. She was embarrassed that they thought her husband had cheated on her but he refused. So he left.”
“That can’t be true.”
“I didn’t want you to find out this way.”
“I traveled here to find out the truth, and you knew this whole time. You sat next to me, never saying a word while I drove myself mad trying to find him?”
“I didn’t want to lose you.”
“So you lied to me about my own father? You let me believe he’d just abandoned us because he didn’t want to be a part of our lives?”
“You’re all I had, Lucas. I didn’t want to lose you.”
“But in the end, you did anyway.” I ended the call not waiting for a response.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
HENLEY
Weeks passed, and I had become so busy with working two jobs and school that my friends barely ever called anymore. When I did have a free night, Rhys was there. Lucas would text me when he was drunk letting me know how good of a time he was having without me or how horrible his night was, depending on how much liquor he’d consumed. Eventually, I stopped replying all together, and the texts quit coming. I missed the friend he used to be, even if it was all a lie.
“Let’s go out. I’m in the mood to have some fun,” I whined, and Rhys rubbed my cheek with his fingers.
“You need to study.” He shook his head, echoing the very excuses I’d used to give Gigi when I didn’t want to go out.
“Come on,” I whined, sticking out my bottom lip.
“We could stay in... spend a little alone time together while your roommate is gone.” He waggled his eyebrow as his tongue ran out over his lower lip.
“You know I’m not ready.” I tucked my hair behind my ear, struggling to hide my grimace.
“That’s okay. Maybe... maybe once we’re married?”
I glanced up to look at his nervous smile.
“Rhys.” I shook my head, swallowing against the lump that had formed in my throat.
He reached up tentatively and brushed his knuckles against my cheek. I let my eyes fall closed, leaning into his touch. “I know,” his voice was barely a whisper. “You’re not ready for that either.” His hand dropped to his side as if the pain of those words had physically jarred him.
“I’m sorry.”
“How about we go out to dinner?”
“Fine. How about Smokey’s?” I perked up at the thought of getting out. He made a face, and I knew he was going to shoot down my idea.
“You call that food?”
“Whatever,” I got up from the floor and began pulling clothes out of my closet, trying to find something nice to wear to whatever fancy restaurant he had in mind. He followed behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I’m sorry, Henley,” He apologized and kissed my cheek. “We can go to your burger joint if that’s what you want to do.”
I felt guilty for throwing a temper tantrum. I liked Rhys, I really did, but sometimes he came across as being better than I was, or maybe that was my own guilt because I’d constantly compared him to Lucas in my mind. The truth was, in our small town bubble, we seemed destined to be together. But now, after I’d had the chance to experience a small slice of the world, our pieces didn’t seem to fit together as well. Our jagged edges had become dull, and we had slipped apart. Maybe I was just different. Maybe I had changed.
“It’s fine. We can go wherever you want,” I sighed heavily, tugging at a silk blouse in my closet. He turned me around and cupped my face in his hands.
“Come on. Let’s go to Smokey’s.” He smiled, looking into my eyes. I leaned in to kiss him, and he pecked me on the lips.
***
The parking lot at Smokey’s was packed. We parked along the road, and Rhys complained the entire walk to the door about leaving his car out on the street where it could get dinged or scratched. I tried desperately not to roll my eyes at him.
We sat in the far corner of the restaurant because Rhys could not stand the smoke that lingered around the other tables from the grill. When th
“Actually...” I spoke up, and the server turned back around to face me. “I’ll have a beer.” She smiled and wrote down my drink order. I looked over at Rhys who was making a face.
“I’ll have a beer too.” He added with a wink. “This place isn’t so bad. Reminds me of Jasper’s.” He laughed, shaking his head.
“I forgot all about that place.”
Just then, the door opened and Lucas’ blue eyes locked on to mine. I sat up straighter, wishing I had listened to Rhys about going somewhere else. He had Harper under his arm, and she placed her hand on his chest. Gigi, Beef, and Noah followed behind, and my heart panged at how much I’d missed them.
“What is it?” Rhys asked, reaching over and placing his hand on mine. I pulled back, putting my hands on my lap.
“Just some old friends of mine.”
He followed my eyes and caught sight of who I was staring at.
“Your old roommate.” He bit out the words and I cringed. He’d never confronted me about that lie, and I’d hoped he’d forgotten. “Invite them to join us.” He said, smiling.
“No...no.” I waved away the idea as the server set our drinks in front of us. I grabbed my beer and immediately drank half of it down in one sip.
“Woah, Henley. You are never going to be able to study tonight if you drink like that.” He pulled the beer from my hand. My cheeks burned red, and I glanced over to my old friends who were talking quietly and glancing over in my direction. Gigi sat her purse on the table and walked toward us.
“Henley, where the hell have you been? I text you all the time.”
“Around,” I replied, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I’ve been working like crazy.” Rhys cleared his throat.
“Gigi, you remember Rhys, right?”
“Hey.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked him over and I knew she was also comparing him to Lucas. “Umm... Henley, we were wondering if you would like to hit Filly’s with us tonight. You know... catch up a little?”