Shield of Winter by Nalini Singh
"Yes, yes." The stonemason smiled, smoothing his weathered palm over the stone with pride. "Each name, I do by hand. See? All perfect. I checked to make sure no mistakes."
Regardless of the man's words, Vasic spoke each name aloud from memory as he checked the obelisk, his hand intertwined with hers. With every name he spoke, he telepathed her the truth of that person's death. Her eyes burned for all those who had been lost, many so young. And her heart, it broke for her Arrow who carried the weight of these losses on his shoulders in silent penance.
He spoke the last name and went quiet. Beside them, the stonemason surreptitiously wiped away a tear. "This is good, what you do," he said into the quiet. "The heavens weep."
Thanking the stonemason for his work, Vasic 'ported the memorial to a place of astonishing beauty on a high bluff that overlooked a serene aquamarine beach, waves rolling gently to shore and grasses waving in the wind. Instead of using his Tk to sink the foundation of the obelisk into the ground, Vasic dug for two hours with a shovel he'd left there earlier.
Ivy got on her knees and used her hands to clear away the dirt.
After it was done, they stood in silence for a long minute. "This isn't enough," Vasic said at last. "This place is isolated."
Stroking his back, Ivy said, "No, Vasic, it's beautiful." A song of sorrow and peace. "To go public with this information is to risk other lives." The Net was stable in one sense, but the psychological impact of the events of the past months--the past century--had left jagged cracks in millions. One more thing could tip an already wounded people over the edge of tolerance.
"The day will come when people are ready to confront the past," she said, her throat thick. "On that day, we'll make a public announcement, read each name aloud, make sure their stories are known."
"I don't want to cheat them, Ivy." Vasic's eyes held such raw emotion, she couldn't imagine how she'd once thought him cold. "I don't want to build a future on a broken promise."
"You aren't." It was hard to speak past the knot choking her, because she knew he carried each and every name in his heart and his mind always. "This, what you're doing, it's what you can do at this moment in time. As the world changes, you'll keep going." She cupped his face. "I know you'll never stop, never forget. We'll come here as often as you need to, and we'll bring the families to whom the truth matters. We'll keep the promise, Vasic. Together."
He didn't answer, simply lowered his face to her neck, his arms coming around her. Ivy held him tight, held her Arrow who couldn't cry, but who mourned all the same.
*
IT took them almost two days to personally visit those Vasic knew wanted the truth--because he'd kept track of every single one of the affected families. Ivy stood with him as he accepted their recriminations, their rage and sadness, and then she held the people who needed it. Others were too angry, would need time to come to terms with the truth.
That was their right.
As it was Ivy's to spend these last hours before the operation making sure Vasic's life was ordinary. A normal day in a normal life . . . or as normal as it could be when the man she loved was an Arrow. He deserved a normal day, one without blood and horror and darkness. He deserved a million such days and she wanted to give them to him.
Sitting on the stoop of the cabin, she hugged her knees to her chest and watched him go through a quiet, dangerous martial arts routine with Aden in a corner of the yard he'd telekinetically cleared of snow. His best friend hadn't said a word since his arrival, his shields impenetrable and his face expressionless.
Zie Zen would also soon be here, Vasic scheduled to pick him up in another forty-five minutes. They'd have lunch together with her parents, and she'd make sure she laughed because Vasic hated it when she cried. And she'd continue to hope for the comm to chime or her phone to buzz.
So many people were working to the final hour to find another, less dangerous solution. Ashaya and Amara Aleine hadn't yet been able to unravel the complexities of Samuel Rain's invention, but continued to try. The original project team had never stopped its attempts at formulating an answer. Even the surgeon was completing simulated operation after simulated operation in an effort to alter the percentages.
Samuel Rain, however, had become a hermit.
"I'm sorry," Clara had said to Ivy when she'd called the sympathetic woman this morning. "I've tried to get in, see him, but he's intransigent. All I can tell you is that the medical scanners built into the room report he's healthy. He continues to send out order requests for arcane equipment and supplies, all of which Zie Zen fulfills at once, but we have no idea what he's doing with it."
Ivy caught the subtext--Samuel Rain might be trying to do what he'd once done with such ease, and each failure could be driving him further and further into despair. "Has he . . . Is it a total breakdown?" Ivy's fingers had clenched on the phone.
"He seems rational when he does communicate, but he barely communicates." Clara's voice had softened. "I'll keep trying, Ivy. I know how important this is. But we can't barge in; that'll erode any trust he might still have in us."
"It's all right, Clara. I never wanted to harm Samuel in any way." She'd truly believed he was strong and becoming stronger. "I hope he comes through this."
Now, four hours after that call, she sat watching the man she loved move with a deadly economy of motion beside his best friend. Aden had treated the latest burn an hour ago but hadn't had the equipment to totally remove the mark, and so it was an ugly redness on Vasic's arm.
Fingers fisting in Rabbit's coat, she said, "You know it, too, don't you?" Rabbit had taken to following Vasic around, leaning up against his leg any time he stopped. Vasic didn't rebuke their pet, always finding time to stop and touch Rabbit before going about his work again. But Rabbit wouldn't be soothed, as Ivy couldn't be soothed.
Her mate was dying and she couldn't do anything to stop it.
Chapter 59
WHEN A THIRD Arrow walked out of the orchard to join Vasic and Aden, Ivy wasn't the least surprised. They'd started doing that ever since she and Vasic had settled at the cabin, just turning up. She'd fed more than one at the dinner table--though that was easy enough, since most just wanted nutrition bars. It wasn't the food they came for, of course.
"Home," Vasic had told her. "They come because they know they're welcome in our home. To men and women who have never had a true home, a place of warmth and safety, it is a treasure beyond price." He'd kissed the top of her head. "And they know you're my treasure. So they come to check on you when they're nearby. Do you mind?"
No, Ivy didn't mind. She wanted to have Arrows dropping by for decades to come, wanted Vasic to build extra rooms onto the cabin so their guests could stay overnight, wanted to tease him into trying real food. "I want him safe, Rabbit," she said, angry at the entire universe. "I don't want to be in a world where he doesn't get to survive. How is that in any way fair?"
Vasic froze right then, and for an instant, she thought he'd heard her and that she'd ruined the day. Then came a deeper, more violent fear.
She stood and ran toward him as, turning, he jogged back to the cabin. Sweat stuck his black T-shirt to his chest, the thin black of his martial arts pants outlining his thighs as the wind pressed the fabric against him. Ivy still had trouble letting him out into the snow dressed like that, even though he assured her that as a Tk, he was never in any danger of freezing.
Today, it wasn't the cold that was the risk.
"What is it?" Her eyes and her hands went immediately to the gauntlet. "Is it--"
Vasic cupped her face in hands so gentle, she knew he could sense the vicious control she had on her fear and her anger. "Samuel Rain has demanded our presence."
Her heart kicked. "What are you doing here? Let's go!"
"Give me two minutes to shower."
"Vasic--"
"I may need to be clean." He kissed her hard as the import of that statement punched her in the solar plexus.
Watching him head inside to shower,
His mind touched hers. You can't break, Ivy. You're the only home my Arrows know--no matter what, that home must survive.
She met his eyes, shook her head. But he was adamant. You're strong. That's why you're Vasic's. You'll honor him . . . but that is a conversation we may never need to have.
Ivy took a deep breath, straightened. Yes, she said. We won't. Because he's going to be all right.
Going to Rabbit, she petted him in gentle reassurance. "Mother and Father are on their way to pick you up," she said, having just telepathed them. "Be good and stay with Aden until then, okay?"
She rose as Vasic stepped out of the cabin in jeans and a leather-synth jacket paired with a light blue T-shirt she'd talked him into because it made his silver eyes even more striking. Walking over, she slipped her hand into his.
"Rabbit?" he asked, looking to where their pet stood solemnly with Aden and the third Arrow.
Ivy swallowed past the emotions choking her up, told him she'd made arrangements. "He won't be alone."
Then they went to talk to Samuel Rain.
Clara met them in the foyer of the sprawling house that was the core of Haven, having requested Vasic not teleport directly to Samuel as the staff remained unsure of his mental state. "This way," the manager said at once. "He hasn't permitted anyone inside yet."
No more words necessary, the three of them headed upstairs to Samuel's quarters. There was a massive skylight in this section. It drenched the corridor in light, likely the rooms, too. Stopping at one on the farthest end, Clara knocked. "We gave Samuel the corner suite because it gets the most light and he's always demanded natural light in his workshops."
"Who is it?" Samuel Rain yelled suspiciously from the other side of the door.
"Ivy and Vasic to see you."
The door opened to reveal a man with wild, matted, and overgrown hair, his blue checked shirt buttoned crooked, and what looked like over a month's worth of beard growth on his face. "Come." Eyes blazing with either intelligence or madness behind his spectacles, he stepped back to give them their first glimpse of what lay beyond.
Ivy gasped.
He'd turned the central chamber--lit by two glass walls and part of the main skylight--into a laboratory. That wasn't what made her gasp. It was the fact that sitting in the middle of the workbench was a gauntlet identical to Vasic's, except without the carapace. Linked to a computer that simulated the Psy brain, brain stem, and spinal column, the gauntlet had been split open to display its intricate internal workings. The faux bone and tendon and muscle within it were scarily realistic.
Samuel Rain, Ivy realized with a trembling awareness of the true depth of his genius, had built a working copy of one of the most complex pieces of technology in the world from scratch in the space of just over six weeks.
"It's useless," he said now, and her heart dropped, until he added, "Too many issues to be grafted. But I can get it out with the help of a halfway competent surgeon."
The world stopped, Ivy's hand bloodless around Vasic's.
There is only one choice, Ivy. Vasic cupped her cheek, touching his forehead to hers in a way that had become part of their emotional lexicon. I would have eternity with you.
Stomach churning, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Don't leave me. Please.
I won't. I'll always be here. Winter frost holding her in thrall. Even if my body goes, my soul will remain. It's a mess, but it's yours. It'll always be yours.
I love you, Vasic. I love you. It was so hard for her to release him, to watch him turn to Samuel Rain. "My unit has almost completely destabilized. Can you operate now?"
"Yes," the engineer said without hesitation. "I need a sterile operating chamber with these monitors." He scribbled a list on a scrap of paper. "I also need a nurse and a surgeon. Make sure it's someone who can follow instructions and doesn't have a God complex."
Shoving both hands through his hair, he continued. "I can remove the majority of the gauntlet myself. I might not be able to do the neurosurgery, but I understand biofusion in a way no one else does. I'll need to make split-second decisions, and the surgeon must obey."
It took a terrifyingly short time to accommodate his requirements. Edgard Bashir was brought in as the surgeon, rather than the surgeon originally scheduled to operate on Vasic. "She won't follow instructions," Vasic said when he made the decision. "That makes her an asset as a solo operator, but for a team, Edgard is the better player."
Ivy wasn't so sure she wanted the man who'd originally grafted the device to Vasic working on him, but holding her close, Vasic assured her that Edgard was an excellent neurosurgeon. "He just isn't creative, and he doesn't need to be with Samuel in the room. All he has to do is have steady hands."
The operation was to take place in a secure Arrow medical facility that Samuel Rain and Dr. Bashir, plus two theatre nurses, were teleported to so they could have no knowledge of its location. Vasic 'ported in Ivy himself, with Abbot standing by to bring in anyone else who was needed while he was down.
Zie Zen chose to wait with Ivy's parents at their cabin. "I will speak to you when the gauntlet has been removed," he said to Vasic over the comm, but though his face was serene, his hand was bone white on his cane.
Then it was time. "I'll be back soon, Ivy."
Ivy held Vasic's promise to her heart as she sat outside the operating room. Aden sat with her, his combat uniform reminding her piercingly of a thousand moments with her Arrow. When she closed her hand over Aden's, he didn't protest, curling his fingers around her own. Two hours passed before he stood and made her get up, too, to stretch her legs. When he tried to give her an energy drink, she waved it off.
He didn't move. "Vasic trusted me to watch over you. I won't let him down."
"Stubborn, high-handed, both of you," she muttered, while her heart bruised with every beat.
Aden held out the drink again.
Taking the bottle, she forced herself to finish it before returning to her vigil. This time Aden stood against the wall across from her, and though he was as remote as Vasic had once been, she didn't feel alone. They were family, tied together by their love for the loyal, courageous, wonderful man beyond the doors to the operating room.
Three hours.
Four.
Five.
"Do you think we can ask for an update?" Her throat was scratchy from disuse as she looked up at Aden. "No, we shouldn't interrupt," she said before he could respond.
Aden sat down beside her again. "Would you like to hear the story of the first time I met Vasic?"
He was trying to comfort her, she realized, to get her mind off the painfully circular path in which it had been running for hours. "Yes."
Leaning forward with his forearms braced on his thighs, Aden looked at the wall in front of them, but his stare wasn't blank. It was as if he was watching a stream of memory. "I was seven years old and a very well-behaved child."
There was something about the wording of his statement that made Ivy frown.
"Vasic, only a year older than me, was considered a problem. Those in charge of the squad at the time had no intention of releasing him--he was too valuable. So they had to find a way to break him down."
Ivy's nails cut into her palms. "He never broke."
"No," Aden said. "I think he believed for a long time that he had broken, but they never managed to destroy the core of who he is. It's why he carries such guilt for actions he couldn't have fought, consequences he could've never changed."
"He's built to protect, to shield, and they made him a killer."
"Yes." Aden continued to look into the past. "Even as they tried to break him, they had to teach him. Brute strength is never enough to make a man an Arrow. All of us train with sparring partners when young--mental and physical. However, in most cases, they're rotated. The reason given to us at the time was that it was to ensure we could all work together, but I believe it was also so bonds coul
Encouraged by his earlier acceptance of her touch and wanting to comfort him as he was trying to do her, she put a careful hand on his shoulder. He didn't shake it off, but neither did he react. "Vasic, however," he continued, "was such a problem that he kept destabilizing his psychic sparring partners. They'd work him against another child, and even if that child had been in a relatively calm state previously, he or she would be erratic afterward."
"Why not adults?"
"That was to be the last-case scenario. It's harder for a child to spar against an adult, because an adult always has to hold back in case they cause harm, and so the balance isn't natural and it impacts speed, accuracy, everything." His lashes came down, flicked back up. They were black like Vasic's, but unexpectedly long and with a curl at the ends.
He was handsome, she realized in a startled way. With sharp cheekbones and dark eyes against olive colored skin, he no doubt caught female attention. Only Ivy was always too focused on Vasic to notice.
"Finally," he said, as her need for Vasic keened again, "they decided to try me. I was the last choice, because I was considered the weakest child in training at the time."
Ivy knew beyond any doubt that there was nothing weak about Aden.
"Still, the trainers figured they might as well pit me against him just in case. I was led into our first session in a bland beige room furnished with a heavy metal table and two metal chairs. Vasic should've been sitting on one chair already, but he was standing in a corner, staring at the door.
"When I came in, he continued to look at me with this unblinking stare he shouldn't have been able to maintain as a child." Aden angled his head to meet Ivy's gaze. "He was trying to disconcert me, make me run. Later, he told me it had worked with several of the other children. He broke their nerve just with his eyes."
Ivy's emotions knotted in her veins--affection for the boys they'd been, fury for what they'd both suffered, pride at the men they'd become. "What did you do?"