Since I Fell for You by Bella Andre
Roman could easily guess that while Suzanne was telling her father she'd help him fix it, he was encouraging her to keep dancing. At precisely the same time, Buck made a move toward them, obviously deciding this was the perfect chance to swoop in.
Like hell.
Before Roman could rethink what he was doing, he was standing in front of Suzanne and her father. "Do you need someone to step in?"
"Yes, we do, Roman." William put a warning hand on his shoulder. "Take good care of my daughter." He gave Roman a borderline threatening smile. "I wouldn't want you to accidentally step on her toes."
That should have been enough to warn Roman away from Suzanne. He should take them off the dance floor and into a safer situation where there could be no touching, no close contact, nothing that would make the flames already burning inside him leap even higher.
Instead, he gave in to the need he couldn't keep at bay another second and pulled her into his arms.
Though he could feel her surprise at his impulsive action in the momentary tightness in her shoulders and upper back, she soon relaxed against him, putting her arms around his neck and resting her head against his shoulder.
How could he do anything but pull her closer? Her curves, her scent, were both intoxicating. And as they moved together, he knew no other woman would ever be such a perfect fit.
Roman would have given anything to stop time and make their dance last forever. But these few precious minutes with Suzanne in his arms were already more than he'd thought he could ever have.
When the song ended, letting her go was the very last thing in the world he wanted to do. He nearly couldn't get his hands and arms to obey his silent orders to drop away from Suzanne's body, or his feet to take a step back.
"Stay." Her voice was low beneath the din of the other guests' conversations, but he was watching her so intently that he was easily able to read her lips. Her skin was flushed, her lips wet from where she must have licked them while they were dancing. "Dance with me again, Roman. Please."
Everything in his life used to be clear-cut. Work was work, play was play--and his heart never got involved, never grew attached. But those clear-cut lines had begun to blur the second he'd met Suzanne. And now, though they stood in the middle of a crowded dance floor with her entire family surrounding them--with everyone counting on him to protect her--he could barely think straight enough to remember that not only could they not have one more dance...
...they couldn't have anything at all.
He needed to get them away from all these romantic couples, the sexy music, the breathtaking setting. He couldn't risk another dance with Suzanne. Not when the first had nearly broken his control to smithereens.
"You barely ate your meal, and you must be thirsty after all this dancing." He could hear how ridiculous he sounded, answering her request for another dance by telling her she looked parched. "Why don't we go grab something from one of the waiters?"
"Why do you keep doing this?" Her cheeks were even more flushed now, but not from exertion. Her voice rose slightly as she said, "Why do you keep pulling away every time we start to get close?"
One more dance, one more close moment together like the ones they'd shared beneath the gazebo, was all it would take for Roman to do more than just drag her into his arms.
He'd outright devour her.
He'd never been so close to losing hold of himself and the emotion he'd been careful to keep carefully leashed for his entire adult life. But Suzanne had pushed him right to the edge of reason.
The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, but he needed to shut this attraction down and douse the sparks, once and for all. Through tightly clenched teeth, he made himself say in a low voice meant for her ears only, "Because I'm your bodyguard, not your boyfriend."
*
Ouch.
The last time Suzanne had been in anywhere near this much pain was when she'd accidentally run into a lamppost in the park. She had been thinking about a problem with her code instead of looking where she was going and hadn't even realized she had fallen until she found herself flat on her back on the concrete. She hadn't broken anything that day, but she'd been pretty bruised.
There weren't going to be any physical marks left on her body from what had just happened, but the wound Roman's words had made inside her felt deeper than the bruises she'd taken from her fall in the park.
She already knew she'd be hearing I'm your bodyguard, not your boyfriend on repeat every time she closed her eyes. He'd said it as though he couldn't imagine ever being with her. As though she were nothing more than an annoying client who refused to understand that he was off-limits.
When he'd swept her into his arms to dance so suddenly, it had felt like the most romantic thing ever to happen to her. He'd seemed overcome by passion, like a hero straight out of the romantic movies she streamed late at night after a hard day struggling with code.
Now, however, as she looked into his dark eyes and was unable to read even the slightest shred of emotion in them, she could see that he'd deliberately turned any warmth he might have felt for her to ice.
Like everyone, she'd had crushes over the years where she'd liked a guy and he hadn't liked her back. But she'd always been able to brush off those rejections because they were from men who hadn't meant anything to her.
Where Roman was concerned, however, she couldn't figure out how to brush off rejection. Couldn't keep her stomach from hurting when she thought about the way he'd jumped away from her, literally leaping in the opposite direction, not once but several times since they'd met.
"Suzanne, I hope I'm not interrupting." She hadn't realized Buck had walked over to them. "You've been the most popular dancer out here, but now that there's a momentary break in your admirers, I was hoping I could steal you away from your bodyguard and convince you to dance with me."
The very last thing she wanted to do was keep dancing. She wanted to go back to her father's house and curl up in a little ball on her bed.
No. No. That wasn't who she was. She wasn't the kind of woman who fell apart over love. She wasn't her mother, damn it.
Forcing a smile for the movie star, Suzanne said, "I'd love to dance with you, Buck."
She hoped her words and her movements as she reached for Buck's outstretched hand didn't look as wooden as they felt. He was a nice guy, and he didn't deserve to be a pawn while she tried to regain some of her self-worth. But sometimes, no matter how much you wanted to be rational and fair and nice, you just couldn't pull it off.
She didn't look at Roman as she let Buck move them deeper onto the crowded dance floor, wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how badly he'd hurt her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Suzanne didn't dance one song with Buck, she danced ten. Possibly more, since Roman lost count somewhere in the haze of jealousy that wrapped tighter and tighter around him every time Buck touched her or made her laugh. For well over an hour, Roman warred with himself over his urge to burst onto the dance floor and drag her away from the guy. But he couldn't do that. Not because he was afraid of what it would do to his career prospects with anyone else at the wedding, but because he'd already hurt Suzanne enough. He wouldn't embarrass her too.
As it was, he'd never forget the way she looked when he said, I'm your bodyguard, not your boyfriend. Every time he hurt her, it further reinforced how right he was to keep his distance. She deserved the true love Smith and Valentina had, not the emotional devastation that Roman had seen go down between his mother and father.
Over and over again, he reminded himself that Suzanne and Buck were just dancing. Since there was no way that Roman was going to let the movie star take things any further, for the rest of the evening he needed to shake off his irrational jealousy and focus on doing the job he'd been hired for.
At long last, Suzanne and Buck didn't dance straight through to the next song. Instead, she pointed off in the direction of the restrooms, while Buck gestured toward the bar, obviously hoping she'd j
"Is there a problem?" she asked, clearly concerned at seeing one of the security guards so visibly upset.
"No, ma'am." And there damn well wouldn't be a problem as long as Buck didn't try to ply Suzanne with alcohol so that he could make his move.
Roman kept a good dozen feet between himself and Suzanne as she headed off the dance floor, while making sure he never lost sight of her until she went into the ladies' room. Though she was probably dying to get away from him at this point, he knew she wouldn't go back on her promise not to sneak away during the wedding.
While he waited beneath a maple tree, several female guests sent smiles his way. But Suzanne was the only woman who got his engine running now.
Suzanne spotted him immediately when she left the ladies' room. She hadn't looked his way since she'd accepted Buck's invitation to dance, giving Roman the cold shoulder he more than deserved. But instead of heading off to have a drink with the movie star, she made a beeline for Roman.
"Do you have to follow me everywhere?"
She already knew the answer, and he knew she was simply venting, which meant the professional response would be to let her question go. But she wasn't the only one who needed to vent.
Making sure no one was close enough to overhear, he said, "I do. Which is why you should tell me if you're planning to sleep with any movie stars tonight, so I can get my background checks done before your clothes come off."
Her eyes went big, as if she couldn't believe what he'd said. Hell, he could hardly believe it. He'd never spoken to a client this way before. Never come close.
"Did you really just ask me if I'm planning to sleep with Buck tonight?"
Her question was loud enough that Roman said, "Unless you want people to talk, we'd better finish this conversation in a more private location."
"I can't wait to finish it."
He followed her behind the building and off into a grove of birch trees. Soon, the branches around them were thick enough that the sound of the band and guests was only a low hum.
She spun around to face him. "I already told you, I'll sleep with whomever I want, whenever I want. And just so you know, I wasn't even the slightest bit interested in sleeping with Buck. But now that you've made me consider it..." She shrugged and bared her teeth at him in the faintest possible approximation of a smile. "Maybe it would be a good idea to let off some steam with someone who isn't always pushing me away and seems to want me."
He knew he should count to ten inside his head before replying. Knew he should get his goddamned heart rate down. Knew he should try to muster up even the barest shred of professionalism. But there was no way to hold back anymore.
Not when it felt like he'd been holding back with Suzanne for an eternity.
"How many times do I have to tell you, every guy here wants you!"
"You don't!"
Roman had never yelled at a client before. But Suzanne had stopped being just a client almost from the very start. And whether he wanted it to be true or not, he wasn't just her bodyguard either. He had always been way too close to the line with her. Closer now to falling over the edge than ever before.
He needed to back away. Needed to find another bodyguard to take his place. Needed to turn around and never look back. Needed to shove thoughts of Suzanne out of his head--and desire out of his body--forever.
But he couldn't. Not when the most brilliant woman in the world seemed to believe something so stupid. So utterly idiotic.
"Are you kidding me? Of course I want you. I've wanted you from the first minute I set eyes on you. Your mouth, your brain, your body--all of you is irresistible." He couldn't stop the words from coming. "That's why I've been hellbent on staying your bodyguard. Because you need someone to watch over you, someone to make sure you don't end up with the wrong guy. A guy like me, who doesn't deserve you." His lungs were heaving as if he'd sprinted around a track. "But not kissing you is the hardest thing I've ever done."
He didn't realize how still she'd become until he finally shut up. Didn't realize until it was too late to take his confession back that the gleam in her eyes had shifted from anger to desire.
"Do it." Where he hadn't been able to modulate his voice down from a roar, hers was barely above a whisper. "Kiss me, Roman." She licked her lips, moving closer. "So I can know how you feel." She lowered her gaze to his mouth. "How you taste."
Every moment since the night at the gallery when he'd started working for her, he'd been fighting. Fighting his desire for her. Fighting to remember all the reasons he couldn't have her. Fighting to convince himself that they shouldn't cross any client/bodyguard boundaries.
But tonight, after a wedding steeped in the kind of romance he'd never believed was true, after seeing Suzanne with her close-knit family, after being eaten up with jealousy while watching her dance with another man--he couldn't fight it a second longer.
Still, as one hand moved to tangle in her hair and the other curved around her hip, he made himself give it one last shot. "You're going to regret it."
"No, I won't." Her words were breathless. Excited. "All I want is for you to kiss me."
Lord, did he ever want that too. And yet, now that she was finally in his arms and he was letting himself touch her, he had to stroke her jaw with his thumb. Had to memorize the hitch in her breath as her breathing sped up.
"You're beautiful, Suzanne." He inhaled her sweet and spicy scent. "So beautiful I can't stop looking, can't stop wanting to touch, even when I know I shouldn't."
She reached for him too, putting her hands on his biceps, then running them up and over his shoulders and back, his muscles and tendons flexing at her touch. "You're the beautiful one." She splayed her hand over his abs, which tightened beneath her fingertips. "A work of art." She licked her lips. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. I've never had the kind of dreams about anyone that I have about you. Wicked. Sexy. You have no idea how badly I ache when I see you in the morning and know I can't drag you inside to my bedroom and make those dreams real."
His groan at hearing she'd been having sexy dreams about him was muffled by her hair as he rubbed his cheek along hers. She was so soft. So warm. As if simply being in his arms like this was more than enough to heat her up all over.
He'd never been so enthralled by anyone, never been so attuned to every beat of a woman's heart, to every breath she inhaled and exhaled, to the way her strong, lithe body trembled against his as she pressed her luscious curves more completely against him.
Finally, he put his mouth on her, feathering the lightest of kisses against the curve of her ear. She made a purring sound and her hands came around his hips to grab the dark wool of his slacks so that his arousal throbbed hard and thick against her stomach.
Kindling turned into red-hot flames as he crushed her mouth beneath his and finally devoured. And she devoured him right back, two ravenous souls finally taking the kiss they'd both been starved for.
She tasted like sunshine.
She tasted like sin.
She tasted like the sweetest treat in the world.
Roman had never believed that time could stop, that the earth could fall off its axis, that his entire life could change in an instant. Not until this kiss, when the pleasure of being with Suzanne was the only thing that mattered. When it felt like he'd finally found the reason he was here. All the hurt, the worry, the boundary lines that had been between them slipped completely away as they moved as close as they could get to one another.
Roman couldn't think. Couldn't plan. Couldn't stop. Couldn't do anything but give in to the greatest pleasure he'd ever known, from nothing more than kissing the woman in his arms.
Her mouth was a gift, one he wanted to spend hours exploring. Days. Weeks. And yet, he couldn't keep his lips from roving across her jaw so that he could lick the sensitive skin of her neck.
Touching, tasting her like t
So much more that when she said, "I can't get enough of you," he officially lost his mind and reached around to the back of her dress.
Easily finding the zipper, he felt her shiver as he slid it down her spine, his fingertips grazing her soft skin. Just like that, the dress fell, and she was bared to him. There was enough moonlight shining through the trees for him to see that she was wearing only a wisp of panties.
Heels.
And nothing else.
Suzanne wasn't shy as he took in her nearly nude body, nor did she start posing for him like other women had. She simply stood and let him look his fill.
Let him reach out like a man possessed to caress her breasts.
Let him cup the soft swells in his big hands.
Let him slide his callused fingertips over the tightening peaks.
Let him lower his mouth and run his tongue over her.
Let him rain endless kisses over one breast, and then the other, while she arched into his hands, his mouth, whispering his name and tangling her hands in his hair to bring him close and keep him there.
He wanted to drop to his knees before her. Wanted to worship every inch of her body. Wanted to take off the last inches of fabric that hid the rest of her from him. Wanted to press hot kisses between her thighs until she wasn't just whispering his name, but crying it out.
He was so far gone that he was already halfway there, was pressing kisses to the undersides of her breasts, to the top of her rib cage, to the delicious skin above her belly button, his knees almost on the ground, when a branch broke beneath his foot. Loud enough to break through the desire that had made him blind to all reason, to all sense.