Sinister Substitute by Wendelin Van Draanen
Getting Ms. Veronica Krockle away from Damien’s property was no small feat.
And Dave’s Gecko Power was of no help whatsoever.
The duct tape, however, was. And after draping the (still-unconscious) science teacher over Rosie’s back and securing her with rounds of tape, Dave and Sticky made it through the frightening forest (without interference from even one bwaa-ha-cawing raven), retrieved his bike, and led Rosie and (the snoring) Ms. Krockle to a house about a mile down Raven Ridge. There, they (very carefully) laid Ms. Krockle on the porch (with duct tape and blindfold removed), set Rosie free (with a sharp “Arrrrrreee!” from Sticky), and did a classic ding-dong ditch.
After they saw (from their spy spot) that a lady answered the door and called, “Harold, come quick! A woman’s collapsed on our porch!” they continued down to the city on Dave’s bike.
“They’ll get her to a doctor,” Dave said into the wind.
“Sí, señor,” Sticky called from inside the Roadrunner Express sweatshirt Dave had switched into.
“She’ll tell the police!” Dave called.
“Sí, señor!”
“Damien will get arrested!”
“Sí, señor!” Sticky called, then muttered, “Unless he’s already dead.”
“What was that?” Dave called.
“Never mind, señor!”
And so Dave tore into town and did his deliveries (two of which wound up late, but forgivably so), raced home, and fell into his regular routine of spatting with his sister, doing his homework, and dragging through his chores.
But he was alive, right?
And he’d saved Ms. Krockle, right?
And all’s well that ends well, right?
And since I have, admittedly, gone on rather long already, now would be a good place to stop.
Right?
Hmm. But if I stopped right now, you would never know that Ms. Veronica Krockle did not report what had happened to the police.
Or that Damien Black did survive.
Or that there was another strange science substitute at school the next day.
Or that Lily approached Dave at school and whispered, “So where were you during drama yesterday, delivery boy?”
No, you’d know none of that.
You also wouldn’t know that it was because of the Bandito Brothers that Damien’s life was spared. They had (in a bumbling, you’re-so stupid-no-you’re-so-stupid sort of way) managed to rescue Damien by using controls in the skybox to lower a craned net into the dragon pit.
Damien, of course, acted furious once he was safe, shouting, “You bumbling blockheads! You nettling numskulls! You idiotic idiots! You miserable morons! You dim-witted dunces! You … you feather-faced freaks!” as he stormed back into the house.
What upset him so much wasn’t just that he’d almost been killed by his precious dragon, or that his prisoner had escaped, or that he’d spent three agonizing days as a substitute at the wrong school, or that the boy had (once again) gotten away … it was also the Brothers. He wanted so badly to be rid of them, but (as if things weren’t bad enough already) they were now reminding him at every turn how they had saved his life.
Ah, poor Damien. He fretted, he brooded, he pouted, he stewed.
How had things come to this?
Was he losing his touch?
His grip?
His stranglehold on all things evil?
So they saved him, so what! They were fools! Why couldn’t he just toss them to the dragon and be done with it?
It was, indeed, a dark and dismal day for Damien Black. But it could have been much worse had Veronica Krockle told the police her story. Oh, she babbled on about a dashing man and a magnificent dragon, but no one could make sense of what she was saying. In the end, she was hospitalized and evaluated for psychiatric care, but even she wasn’t certain the whole matter hadn’t been but a dream.
Except for the fact that there were four painful bumps on her head.
And her backside was all battered and bruised.
Plus her lab coat was destroyed, and her boots were ruined.
So she knew it was not, in fact, a dream, but it still felt like it. And when she was at last released to her own care, she took a leave of absence from teaching and vowed that someday, someway, she would be reunited with her dashing man and his magnificent dragon.
She was, after all, in love, and love has power stronger than anything.
(Even stronger, perhaps, than a magic Aztec wristband.)
So you see? If I had ended earlier, you would know none of that.
You would also not know that Damien Black is already back at his dastardly drawing board master-minding a new, doubly diabolical plan (with grisly gadgets to match). And oh, what a doozy of a plan it is! Not only is he plotting to—
Ah, but I really must stop now.
I am, after all, way over time.
For now, Dave is safe.
Sticky is happy.
The wristband is in the hands of good, not evil.
And so, my friend, for today, the time has come to say …
Adiós!
A GUIDE TO SPANISH AND STICKYNESE TERMS
adiós (Spanish / ah-DEE-ohs): goodbye, see ya later, alligator
ándale (Spanish / AHN-duh-lay): hurry up! come on! get a move on!
asombroso (Spanish / ah-sohm-BRO-so): awesome, amazing
ay-ay-ay (Spanish and a Sticky favorite): depending on the inflection, this could mean oh brother, oh please, or you have got to be kidding!
ay caramba (Spanish and a Sticky favorite / ai cah-RAHM-bah): oh wow! or oh brother! or I am not believing this!
bobo (Spanish / BO-bo): dumb, foolish, silly
bobos banditos (Stickynese / BO-bohs bahn-DEE-tohs): crazy bandits, stupid thieves
casa (Spanish / CAH-suh): house
easy-sneezy (Stickynese): piece of cake, no sweat
freaky frijoles (Stickynese / free-HO-lays): literally, weird beans. But for Sticky, oh wow! or how strange!
gaucho (Spanish / GOW-cho): herdsman, cowboy
genio beanio (Stickynese / HEH-nee-oh): genius! brilliant!
híjole (Spanish / EE-ho-lay): wow!
hombre (Spanish / AHM-bray): man, dude
hopping/hurling habañeros (Stickynese / ah-bahn-YAIR-ohs): literally, hopping hot peppers. But for Sticky, oh my gosh!
horroroso (Spanish / hor-ur-OH-so): horrible, terrifying, awful
lobo (Spanish / LO-bo): wolf
loco (Spanish / LO-co): crazy, loony
loco-berry burritos (Stickynese): literally, crazy-berry rolled tortilla sandwiches. But for Sticky, extra-specially crazy
mi’jo (Spanish / MEE-ho): dear, darling, my son, my love. For a girl, you’d say mi’ja (MEE-ha)
plumas (Spanish / PLOO-mahs): feathers
señor (Spanish / SEN-yohr): mister
señorita (Spanish / sen-yohr-EE-tah): miss, young lady
sí (Spanish / see): yes
THIS IS A BORZOI BOOK PUBLISHED BY ALFRED A. KNOPF
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Text copyright © 2010 by Wendelin Van Draanen Parsons
Illustrations copyright © 2010 by Stephen Gilpin
All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Alfred A. Knopf, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
Knopf, Borzoi Books, and the colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Visit us on the Web! www.randomhouse.com/kids
Educators and librarians, for a variety of teaching tools, visit us at www.randomhouse.com/teachers
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Van Draanen, Wendelin.
The Gecko and Sticky : sinister substitute / by Wendelin Van Draanen; illustrations by Stephen<
Gilpin.—1st ed.
p. cm.—(The Gecko and Sticky)
Summary: Seventh-grader Dave Sanchez and his talking gecko sidekick Sticky decide they must rescue an odious science teacher who has been kidnapped by the even more villainous Damien Black, who is masquerading as a substitute teacher in order to steal Dave’s magic Aztec wristband.
eISBN: 978-0-375-89492-3
[1. Adventure and adventurers—Fiction. 2. Substitute teachers—Fiction. 3. Magic—Fiction. 4. Schools—Fiction. 5. Geckos—Fiction. 6. Lizards—Fiction. 7. Hispanic Americans—Fiction.]
1. Gilpin, Stephen, ill. II. Title. III. Title: Sinister substitute.
PZ7.V2745Gc2010
[Fic]—dc22
2009014888
Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.
v3.0
Wendelin Van Draanen, Sinister Substitute
(Series: # )