Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself by Judy Blume
Andrea reached in and helped herself to a handful of rock candy. “Thanks …” she said, as if she were talking to just anybody.
“You want?” he asked Sally.
After years and years of her mother’s warnings it was finally happening. A strange man was offering her candy! Sally took a hard look at him so she could describe him to the police. The police would ask for details and she wanted to be ready to help. Of course, if he murdered her, then she wouldn’t be able to help the police at all, but if he murdered only Andrea, then Sally would be able to identify him. He looked familiar, somehow. Who was it that he resembled? Sally chewed on her lower lip and cocked her head to one side. With slick, dark hair and a small black moustache … he’d look a lot like … like Adolf Hitler! He really would. And the longer she studied his face the more she could see the resemblance.
He shook the bag of candy at Sally. “Go on … take …”
“No!” Sally said and rode off, almost knocking the man over.
“What’s wrong with you?” Andrea said, pedalling hard to catch up with Sally.
“Don’t you know better than to take candy from strangers? He could be a kidnapper or a murderer … or worse!”
“He’s not a stranger …” Andrea said. “He’s Mr. Zavodsky.”
“You know him?”
“Sure … he lives in our building.” Andrea bit down on a piece of rock candy.
“He could still be a murderer,” Sally said.
“So could anybody!”
“That’s what I mean.”
Sally couldn’t fall asleep. She tossed and turned, trying out different positions. Legs outside the bed sheet, arms at her sides; arms outside the sheet, legs inside. One leg out, one arm out; curled in a ball; spread eagled on her stomach. Nothing worked. I need a story, she thought.
Sally F. Meets Adolf H
It is during the war and Sally is caught by Hitler in a round-up of Jewish people in Union County, New Jersey. She has secret information from the head of the east coast underground but she refuses to tell. Hitler can’t send her to a concentration camp because he is just building one in Bayonne and it won’t be ready for a month. He orders the Gestapo to bring her to his private office. Tell me, you little swine, Hitler hisses at her. Tell me what you know or I’ll cut off your hair.
Your threats don’t scare me, Adolf, Sally says.
Oh no? We’ll see about that! Hitler grabs a pair of scissors and Sally’s hair falls to the floor in slow motion until there is a great pile at her feet. Now you will talk! Hitler screams.
Never! Sally answers and she sticks her tongue out at him.
That makes him still angrier. He lights a match and one by one burns each of Sally’s toes. Talk … talk, you pig … talk, you kike …
Sally shakes her head. I’ll never tell you anything … never!
So Hitler goes to his desk and gets his knife and he slowly slashes each of her fingers. She watches as her blood drips onto his rug, covering the huge swastika in the middle.
Look what you’ve done, you Jew bastard, Hitler cries hysterically. You’ve ruined my rug!
Ha ha, Sally says. Ha ha on you, Adolf … And then she passes out.
When she comes to, Hitler is asleep and snoring, with his head on his desk. Sally crawls out of his office, then dashes down the hall to the secret passageway of the underground. She gives them valuable information leading to the capture of Adolf Hitler and the end of the war.
On Saturday morning Sally and her family walked to the 15th Street beach with the Rubins. Ma Fanny packed a lunch in the wicker basket and Mom and Douglas each carried a folding chair from Burdines. Sally got to take the old army blanket and the bag with the towels, suntan lotion and dry suits.
At Bradley Beach, on the Jersey shore, the waves were very high and the undertow pulled you in if you weren’t careful. Sally clung to the rope there. In Miami Beach there was no boardwalk and no rope. But there were miles and miles of soft yellow sand, bordered by palm trees, and the ocean, even though it was still the Atlantic, wasn’t the same at all. The water here was warm and clear and blue-green and when it was low tide you could walk way, way out and still you would only get wet up to your knees.
It took a very long time for Mom to lotion Sally and Sally lost patience and began to wiggle around. “You could get sun poisoning or a third-degree burn, God forbid,” Mom said, “so stand still … you have to be very careful here … the sun is different … you should wear your hat …”
“Not now … maybe later,” Sally said.
“This isn’t New Jersey, you know …”
“Please, Mom …”
“All right … one hour without your hat, but don’t come crying to me if it’s already too late.”
“I won’t … I promise …”
When Mom was finished with Sally she called to Douglas. “You’re next …”
“I’ll do it myself,” Douglas said, reaching for the lotion.
“You can’t get your back … you want to wind up in the hospital, God forbid?”
“Dammit! I’m not a baby,” Douglas said, “so stop treating me like one.”
“Don’t you ever let me hear you use that language again!” Mom turned to Ma Fanny. “He’s so stubborn lately,” she said, as if Douglas weren’t right there, listening. “How am I going to manage such a stubborn boy all by myself? He needs his father … sometimes I wonder why we ever came here …”
“Don’t get yourself worked up, Louise,” Ma Fanny said. “Everything will be all right … give it a little time.” She looked across the blanket at Douglas. “Come, Dougie … let me do your back.”
He let Ma Fanny help him without another word.
The Rubins spread their beach blanket next to Sally’s, and after Andrea was fully lotioned she and Sally went off together, with Linda running behind them.
Andrea turned perfect cartwheels up and down the beach. Sally tried her best to copy them but she couldn’t get both legs up for anything. “Didn’t you ever take acrobatics?” Andrea asked.
“No … did you?” Sally knew the answer before Andrea told her.
“I’ve taken acrobatics since I was seven and ballet since I was eight.”
“I take ballet at home too. I’m in Junior Advanced … that is, I would be if I was still in New Jersey.”
“Can you do a backbend?” Andrea asked.
“I don’t know … I’ve never tried.”
“Watch this …” Andrea bent over backwards and when her hands touched the sand she flipped up her legs, stayed like that for a second, then stood up and started all over again.
“You’re really good,” Sally said.
“I know … I’ll teach you, if you want …”
“Okay …”
Andrea put her hands around Sally’s waist. “Now bend over backwards … go on … I’m holding you … don’t worry … just touch the sand with your hands …”
“I’m trying,” Sally said.
“But you’re not doing it … you’re hardly bending at all.”
“I don’t think my body goes that way.”
“You have to tell it to … you have to send a little message to your brain …”
“I’m trying … but my brain’s not listening.”
“Hi, Sally … what are you doing?”
Sally straightened up. It was Barbara. “Oh, hi, Barbara … I’m learning to do a backbend. Andrea’s teaching me. Andrea, this is Barbara … she’s in my class at school.”
“Hi,” Barbara said.
“Hello,” Andrea answered.
“Andrea lives across the hall from me,” Sally said.
“I’m in sixth grade,” Andrea told Barbara.
“You look older,” Barbara said.
“I am.”
“Oh, you stayed back?” Barbara asked.
“No! I’m older than you, is what I meant. I’m almost twelve.”
“Oh, I get it,” Barbara said. “Well, I’ve got to go now … I hav
“Bye …”
“Eeuuww … how can you stand her?” Andrea said, when Barbara was out of earshot. “She’s so … so … stupid!”
“Not usually,” Sally answered. “Usually she’s very nice. So … you want me to try another backbend?”
“No … let’s get wet instead.”
They ran down to the ocean’s edge. “Can you swim?” Andrea asked.
“Some,” Sally told her. “Can you?”
Andrea sat in the wet sand and held her knees to her chest. “I could if I wanted to but I feel better with my feet on the bottom … do you know what I mean?”
Sally tried not to smile. She picked up a handful of wet sand and let it ooze through her fingers. “I can float on my back. I might be able to teach you.”
“Maybe,” Andrea said, shielding her eyes from the sun. “Look … there’s the Goodyear Blimp.”
Sally looked up and saw a big, gray bubble floating over the ocean, in the sky. The word GOODYEAR was printed on its side.
Linda ran in front of them then, splashing. “Ha ha …” she called, “got you wet … got you wet …”
“Go back to Mommy,” Andrea yelled. “You know you’re not allowed in by yourself.”
“Tinsel Teeth,” Linda called, “Railroad Tracks …”
Andrea picked up a handful of sand and tossed it at Linda. “Get out of here, you little brat!”
Linda ran toward her mother.
“She’s getting so spoiled,” Andrea said. “I can’t stand it. Just because she almost died my mother lets her get away with murder … and my grandmother’s just as bad …”
“I didn’t know she almost died,” Sally said.
“Last April … she had polio …”
“Really? You can’t tell …”
“I know it … she’s fine now … but that’s why we’re here … they don’t want her to get sick again …”
“Sounds like us,” Sally said, “except if I ever called Douglas Tinsel Teeth or Railroad Tracks I’d really get it … my father’s a dentist!”
“Mine manufactures bras and girdles.”
“Really?”
“Uh huh … he’s coming down for Thanksgiving … want me to ask him to bring you some bras?”
“I don’t wear them yet.”
“I noticed … but some day you might.”
“I hope so.”
“I don’t miss my father at all … do you miss yours?”
“Yes, a lot. He’s coming down for Thanksgiving too. I can’t wait!”
“My father’s very busy … I hardly ever see him at home …”
“My father’s busy too but he always has time for me.”
Dear Doey-bird,
Miami Beach is full of bugs. You never saw so many bugs. Big ones, little ones, they are everywhere. I especially hate water bugs. They give me the creeps. Also, outside you can see salamanders. They are small lizards that change colors. Or did you already know that? Douglas wants to keep one for a pet but Mom won’t let him. But here is the biggest news yet. We had to set mouse traps in the kitchen! Ma Fanny discovered the mice. That is, she heard them running around at night. She says in Miami Beach it doesn’t mean you don’t keep a clean kitchen. Just about everybody has them, and bugs too. Mom bought three mouse traps. We caught our first mouse this morning. Douglas got elected mouse remover and had to throw him in the garbage. He picked him up by the tail!
I like the beach here very much except Mom makes me change out of my wet suit before lunch. She says Douglas got his kidney infection from sitting around in wet clothes. I told her, Mom, this is the beach … you’re supposed to get wet. She didn’t think that was very funny. I wouldn’t even mind changing if she’d just let me go to the bathhouse to do it. But she says I might pick up something very bad there. I asked her What? but she says it’s better if I don’t know. Andrea’s mother told her the same thing. We think it’s some kind of disease.
Do you know of a special disease you can get from bathhouses? If so, write and tell me. If not, write and tell Mom so I don’t have to change out in the open anymore. Mom says no one can see anything because she holds up a towel to cover my front and Ma Fanny holds one up to cover my back, making a little closet for me. I keep my eyes shut the whole time because if anyone is looking I don’t want to know. Douglas doesn’t have to change because he never gets wet!
Do you know about Man O’ Wars? They are bluish bubbles that sometimes float around in the ocean. When there are a lot of them the lifeguards won’t let you go in the water. They’re pretty dangerous. They can sting you. Douglas poked one that had washed up on the beach, with a stick, and Mom got sooo mad. She said Douglas chases trouble. But the Man O’ War was already dead. Douglas was just interested in its insides.
In school we are studying the history and geography of Florida. Can’t wait to see you.
Your loving daughter,
Sally F.
Sally folded her letter, put it in an envelope, and sealed it. Then she took another piece of paper from her box of Bambi stationery and wrote:
Dear Mr. Zavodsky,
You don’t know me or who I am and you’ll never find out, not if you guess for twenty years. But I think I know who you are. I think you are a person people hate. I think you are a person who is wicked and evil. I think you are worse than a regular murderer or kidnapper. I think you are a person with the initials A.H.
She folded that letter and put it in her keepsake box, under the day bed. Tomorrow she might mail it.
Sally got a special letter from her father. It was written in red ink on a yellow balloon. She had to blow it up before she could read it.
Dear Sally,
How’s my gal? Thought you might like to get a different kind of letter so here it is. I saw Christine yesterday. She asked for your address so she can write to you. I miss you too! Soon it will be Thanksgiving and I’ll be there for my treatment. Stay well. Take good care of Mom for me.
Love and kisses,
Doey
Dear Doey-bird,
Hi! I loved your balloon letter. I’m saving it in my keepsake box, along with my marble collection, some shells from the beach and a very pretty flower I picked up on my way home from school. I’m glad the balloon didn’t pop when I blew it up. You didn’t answer my question about the bathhouse disease. Please tell me what you know. It’s very important! I have a new friend. Her name is Shelby and she lives at the corner. Don’t get her mixed up with Andrea, who lives across the hall. Andrea is in sixth grade and has a cat called Omar. Don’t get her mixed up with Barbara either. Barbara is my friend from my class. Shelby is in fifth grade too but not in my section. Her classroom is in a portable. She lives with her grandmother and has a neat game called Jolly Roger. I sure wish I had it too. We met because she goes home for lunch every day, like me. We both got special permission because we are allergic to the food at school. Well, not really allergic, but that’s what we said. Finally we decided to walk back and forth together. When I’m done eating lunch I call for her and if there’s time we play some Jolly Roger before heading back to school. Shelby’s mother and father are getting a divorce. That’s how come she’s here. They’re having a big fight over who gets her and she’s not supposed to know about it. She hates them both. I don’t blame her.
Next week is Halloween. There’s going to be a parade in Flamingo Park at night. A flamingo is a tall pink bird with skinny legs. Or did you already know that? Anyway, Andrea is going to dress up like one. She’s tall enough!
Mom came up with an idea for my costume. I’m going to be a peanut girl. She is sewing peanuts all over my old green dress. And she’s making me a crown out of cardboard that will have peanuts glued to it. Even my socks have peanuts on them. Mom has two infected fingers from pushing the sewing needle through the peanuts, but don’t worry. Ma Fanny knew just what to do and Mom is soaking her fingers right now.
I am still blotchy red fro
I miss you very, very, very much! I can’t wait until Thanksgiving either. I will give you such a treatment then. Say hello to Aunt Bette and Uncle Jack and Miss Kay and anyone else you think might miss me.
Your loving daughter,
Sally F.
P.S. Jolly Roger is the best game I’ve ever played!
On Sunday mornings, at exactly ten o’clock, Sally, Douglas and Mom went down to the lobby to wait for Daddy’s phone call. The phone was too high on the wall for Sally to reach so she stood on a chair. This was her Sunday to answer.
“Doey-bird!” Sally shouted, when the phone rang and she heard her father’s voice at last.
Douglas hissed, “Will you shut up with that dumb name before everybody hears it.”
Sally motioned for Douglas to shut up himself.
“How’s my little gal?” Daddy asked.
“Fine … but I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
“Last night we went to the movies and nobody wanted to sit next to me because they say I ask too many questions … but if you don’t ask questions then you’ll never learn anything … isn’t that right? And did you hear about Halloween? There was this huge thunderstorm in the middle of the parade and all the lights in the park went out and you should have heard all the screaming but I wasn’t scared because it was an adventure …”
Douglas muttered under his breath, “Not much …”
“Anyway, Doey … I wasn’t that scared … and we got home okay … just all my peanuts got soggy and we had to throw away my whole costume.” She paused for a breath. “And in school the music teacher lets me sing … she even likes the way I sing …”