Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind
"I did not like grandmother Lindel much. She be a cold woman. But I respected her. She be fair, after a fashion. If she punished me, and she did, it be only because I broke her rules. She switched me, hard, but only for an infraction I be warned of. She taught me, she guided me in the gift, but she never gave me a kindness. It be a hard life, but I learned discipline.
"Most of all, I learned to use the gift. For that, I will always be thankful to her, for that be my life. The gift be touching something higher, something more noble than what I be."
"I'm sorry, Adie." He started eating his cold stew because he didn't know what else to do. He wasn't hungry anymore.
Adie rose from her chair and walked to the fireplace, staring into the flames for a time. Zedd waited silently for her to find the words.
"After I reached the age of a woman, I be allowed to let my hair grow." She smiled a small smile. "At that age, as I filled into my form, I be thought an attractive woman."
Zedd pushed the bowl of stew away and went to stand by her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "No less attractive now, dear lady."
She put a hand over his without looking from the flames. "In time, I fell in love with a young man. His name be Pell. He be an awkward young man, but a good and noble man, and he be kindness itself to me. He would have brought me the ocean, one spoonful at a time, if he thought it would please me. I thought the sun rose to show me his face, and the moon came out to let me taste his lips. Every beat of my heart be for him.
"We wanted to be wed. The King's circle of Choora, led by a man named Mathrin Galliene, had other ideas."
She took her hand away and gripped a knot of robes at her stomach. "They had decided I was to be wed to a man from the next town, the son of their mayor. I was a prize to the people of Choora. Having a sorceress bonded to a people by her oath was seen as a sign of the virtue of those people. To give me to an important man from a larger town was cause for excitement, joy, expectation. It would seal our towns in many ways, not the least of which was valuable trade.
"I be in a panic. I went to grandmother Lindel and begged her to intercede for me. I told her of my love for Pell, and that I did not wish to be a prize in return for trade. I told her the gift was mine, and not to be used to bind me into slavery. A sorceress not be a slave. Grandmother Lindel was a sorceress. The gift in her be disdained, but people respected her because she be devoted to her oath, and they held more than a healthy respect for her: she be feared. I pleaded for her help."
"Doesn't seem like the kind of person to help you."
"There be no one else to turn to. She made me leave her for one day, so she could think on it. It be the longest day of my life. When I came to her at the end of the day, she told me to kneel before her, and give the oath. She told me I had better mean it more than any time I had ever said it before, and she had made me say it often. I knelt and said the oath, meaning every word.
"When I finished, I held my breath and waited. I still be on my knees. She looked down her nose at me, that sour frown of hers still on her face. And then she said, 'Though you be wild of spirit, child, you have worked to tame it. The people have asked for your oath, and you have given it. May I not live to see you break it. You owe no debt beyond that. I will take care of the circle and see to Mathrin Galliene. You will wed Pell'. I wept into the hem of her dress."
Adie was silent, staring into the fire, lost in the memories. Zedd lifted an eyebrow. "Well, did you wed your love?"
"Yes," she whispered in her soft rasp. She took the spoon off its hook and stirred the stew while Zedd watched her. At last, she hung it back at its place. "For three months, I thought life be beyond bliss."
Her mouth worked soundlessly as she stared into nothingness. Zedd put and arm around her shoulder and gently led her back to the table. "Sit, Adie. Let me bring you a cup of tea."
She was still sitting, her hands folded together on the table, staring off when he returned with the steaming cups. He placed one in her thin hands as he sat opposite her. He didn't press her to go on before she was ready.
At last, she did. "One day, the day of my birth and nineteen years, Pell and I had taken a walk in the country. I be with child." She lifted the cup in both hands and took a sip. "We spent the day walking past farms, thinking of names for our child, holding hands, and... well you know the foolishness of love at that age.
"On our way back, we had to walk past the Choora mill, just outside of town. I thought it strange no one be there. Someone always be at the mill." Adie closed her eyes for a moment and then took another sip of tea. "As it turned out, there be people there. The Blood of the Fold. They be waiting for us."
Zedd knew of them. In the larger cities of Nicobarese, the Blood of the Fold were an organized corps of men who hunted Banelings; rooted out evil, as they saw it. In other Lands, there were men like them, who went by other names, but they were the same. None were especially picky about proof. A corpse was the only proof they need show of their job well done. If they said the body was that of a Baneling, then it was. In the smaller towns, the Blood were usually self-appointed toughs and thugs. The Blood of the Fold were widely feared. With good reason.
"They took us..." her voice broke, but only that once, "into separate rooms in the bottom of the mill. It be dark, and smelled of the damp stone walls and grain dust. I did not know what be done to Pell. I be almost too terrified to breath.
"Mathrin Galliene said Pell and I be Banelings. He said I would not wed as I should have because I wished to bring the Keeper's notice to Choora. There be a sickness, a fever, in the country that summer, and it brought death to many a family. Mathrin Galliene said Pell and I brought the sickness. I denied it be so, and spoke the oath to show proof." Adie turned the cup in her fingers as she stared at it.
Zedd touched her hand. "Drink, Adie. It will help you." He had put a pinch of cloud leaf into her tea, to help relax her.
She took a long swallow. "Mathrin Galliene said Pell and I be Banelings, and the graveyard be full of the proof of that. He said he wanted only for Pell and I to tell the truth, to confess. The other men of the Blood be growling like hounds around a rabbit, ready to tear us apart. I be terrified for Pell.
"As they beat me, I knew they would be doing worse to him, to make him name me a Baneling. Nothing be better for the Blood than to have someone name a loved one as a Baneling. They would not listen when I denied it." She looked up into his eyes. "They would not listen."
"Anything you said," Zedd offered quietly, "would have made no difference, Adie. It wouldn't have mattered. When you are in a leg-hold trap, reasoning with the steel does no good."
She nodded. "I know." Her face was a calm mask over a thunderhead. "I could have stopped it, had I used the gift, but it be against everything I be taught, believed. It be as if using the gift would prove to myself that what the men said be true. I felt it would have been blasphemy against the Creator. I be as helpless while the men beat me as if I did not have the gift."
She drained the tea from her cup. "Even as I screamed, I could hear Pell's screams echoing from another room."
Zedd went to the fire and brought the pot back, filling her cup again. "It wasn't your fault, Adie. Don't blame yourself."
She flicked a glance up at him as he poured himself another cup. "They wanted me to name Pell as a Baneling. I told them I would not, that they could kill me, but they could not make me say that it be so.
"Mathrin bent close to me, put his face close to mine. In my head, I can still see his smile. He said, 'I believe you, girl. But it doesn't matter, because it not be you we want to name the Baneling. It be Pell we want to speak the name of the Baneling. It be you we want Pell to name. You be the Baneling.'
"Then the men held me down. Mathrin tried to pour something down my throat. It burned my mouth. He held my nose. It be swallow or drown. I wished to drown, but I swallowed without wanting to. It burned my throat like swallowing fire. I could not speak. I could not make a sound. I could not even scream. No sound b
"Then the men took me in the room with Pell and tied me to a chair in front of him. Mathrin held me by my hair so I could not move. It broke my heart to see what they had done to my Pell. His face be white as snow. They had cut off most of his fingers, one knuckle at a time." Her own fingers tightened around her cup as she stared into the vision.
"Mathrin told Pell that I had confessed that Pell be a Baneling. Pell's eyes be big, looking at me. I tried to scream that it not be true, but no sound came. I tried to shake my head that it not be true, but Mathrin held me so I could not.
"Pell told them he did not believe them. They cut off another finger. They told him they only do it because I named him. Only do it on my word. Pell kept his eyes on me as he shook, and kept telling them he did not believe them. They told Pell I had told them I wished him to be killed because he be a Baneling. Still Pell said he did not believe them. He said he loved me.
"Then he told Pell I had named him a Baneling, and that if it not be so, I could deny it and they would let us both go free. He told Pell that I had promised I would not deny it because he be a Baneling, and I wanted him to die for it. Pell screamed for me to tell them. Screamed for me to deny it. He screamed my name, screamed for me to say something.
"I tried, but I could say nothing. My throat be fire. My voice did not work. Mathrin held me by my hair; I could not move. Pell's eyes be big as he stared at me. As I sat silent.
"Then Pell spoke to me. 'How could you do that to me, Adie? How could you name me a Baneling?' Then he cried.
"Mathrin asked him to name me a Baneling. He said that if he did, they would believe him over me, because I had the gift, and he would be freed. Pell whispered, 'I will not say that of her to save my life. Even though she has betrayed me.' Those words broke my heart."
As she stared off at nothing, Zedd noticed a candle on the counter behind her melt into a puddle. He could feel the waves of power radiating from her. He realized he was holding his breath. He eased it out.
"Mathrin cut Pell's throat," she said simply. "He severed Pell's head and held it before me. He said he wanted me to see what following the Keeper had brough on Pell. He said it be the last thing he wanted me to ever see. The men held my head back and pulled my eyes open. Mathrin poured the burning liquid in them.
"I be blinded.
"In that moment, something happened inside me. My Pell was gone, he died thinking I had betrayed him, my life was about to end. I suddenly realized how it be my own fault, for holding to an oath. The life of my love, for an ignorant oath, for a foolish superstition. Nothing mattered anymore; everything be gone to me.
"I turned the gift loose, turned the rage loose. I broke my oath not to use the gift to harm another. I could not see, but I could hear; I could hear their blood hit the stone walls. I struck out wildly. I shredded every living thing in that room, be it man or mouse. I could not see, so I simply struck at any life I could feel. I could not tell if any had escaped. In a way, I be glad to be blind, or seeing what I be doing, I might have stopped before I finished.
"When all be still, dead, I felt my way around the room, counting the bodies. One be missing.
"I crawled to my grandmother Lindel's. How I made my way, I cannot imagine, except to think the gift guided me. When she saw me, she be furious. She pulled me to my feet and demanded to know if I had broken my oath."
Zedd leaned forward. "But you couldn't speak. How did you answer?"
Adie smiled a small, cold smile. "I picked her up by the throat, with the power of the gift, and slammed her against the wall. I walked up to her and nodded my head. I squeezed her throat in anger. She fought me. She fought me with all her power. But I be stronger, much stronger. I never knew until that moment that the gift be different in different people. She be as helpless as a stick doll.
"But I could not hurt her, as much as I wished to for her asking that question before any other. I released her and sagged to the floor; I could stand no longer. She came to me and began tending to my wounds. She told me I had done wrong, by breaking my oath, but that what was done to me was a more grievous wrong.
"I never feared grandmother Lindel again. Not because she be helping me, but because I had broken the oath, I be beyond the laws I had been taught, and, because I knew I was stronger than she. From that day on, she be afraid of me. I think she helped me because she wanted me well, so I could leave.
"A few days later, grandmother Lindel came home to tell me that she had been called before the King's circle and questioned. She said all the men at the mill, all the Blood of the Fold, be dead, except Mathrin. He had escaped. She told the circle she had not seen me. They believed her, or said they did because they did not want to confront her and additionally a sorceress who had killed that many men in such a shocking manner, so they let her go about her business."
Some of the tension seemed to ease from her shoulders. She studied the tea cup a moment and then took another sip. She held the cup out for him to warm. Zedd poured a little more. He idly wished he had put some of the powdered cloud leaf in his own tea. He didn't think that was the end of the story.
"I lost my child," Adie said in a soft rasp.
Zedd looked up. "I'm sorry, Adie."
She looked up to meet his eyes. "I know." She took one of his hands in both hers after he set down the kettle. "I know." She took her hands back. "My throat healed." She touched her fingers lightly to her neck, then knitted them together. "But it left me with a voice like dragging iron over rock."
He smiled at her. "I like your voice. Iron fits the rest of you."
The ghost of a smile passed across her face. "My eyes, though, did not grow better. I be blind. Grandmother Lindel not be as strong as me, but she be old, and had seen many a trick with the gift. She taught me to see without my eyes. She taught me to see with the gift. It not be the same as eyes, but in some ways, it be better. In some ways, I see more.
"After I be healed, grandmother Lindel wanted me to leave. She not be fond of living with one who had broken the oath, even though I be of her blood. She feared I would bring trouble. Whether from the Keeper, for breaking my oath, or from the Blood of the Fold, she did not know, but she feared trouble would come because of me."
Zedd leaned back in his chair, stretching his tense muscles a bit. "And did trouble come?"
"Oh yes," Adie hissed, raising her eyebrows as she leaned forward. "Trouble came. Mathrin Galliene brought them: twenty Blood of the Fold. Ones paid by the Crown. Professionals. Battle hard men; big men, grim faced, savage men, all pretty on horseback in neat ranks with swords, shields and banners, every spear held just so, at the same angle. All pretty in their chain mail and polished breast plates shining with the embossed crest of the Crown, and all wearing helmets with red plumes that flicked as they rode. Every horse white.
"I stood on the porch and watched with the eyes of the gift as they spread rank before me with perfect precision, like they be performing for the King Himself. Every horse put every foot the same, stopping in a line at the lifting of a finger from the commander. They be spread out before me, ready, eager, to do their grisly duty. Mathrin waited behind them on his horse, watching. The commander called out to me, 'You be under arrest as a Baneling, and are to be executed as such.'"
Adie lifted her head from the specters of her memory, her eyes meeting Zedd's. "I thought of Pell. My Pell."
Her expression hardened into an iron mask. "Not one sword cleared a scabbard, not one spear be leveled, not one foot touched the ground, before they died. I swept the line, from left to right, one man at a time, everything I had, into each in turn, quick as a thought. Thump thump thump. Every one, except the commander. He sat still and stone faced upon his white horse as men in armor crashed to the ground to each side of him.
"When it be finished, when the last shield had clattered into silence, I met his eyes. 'Armor,' I told him, 'be of no use against a true B
Her gaze sank to the table. "My grandmother turned her back to me. She told me to leave the shelter of her roof and never to return."
A little wince touched Zedd's face before he caught it, at the thought of a sorceress with enough power to kill men in that fashion. It was exceedingly rare for a sorceress to be that strong in the gift. "What of Mathrin? You didn't kill him?"
She shook her head. A humorless smile played across her lips.
"No. I took him with me."
"Took him with you?"
"I bonded him to me. Bonded his life to mine. Bonded him so that he always knew where I be, and so that every new moon he was compelled to come to me, no matter where I be, no matter what he wished. He had to follow me, at least close enough so that he could come to me every new moon."
Frowning, Zedd studied the dregs in his tea cup. "I met a man, once, in Winstead, the capital and crown seat of Kelton. His name was Mathrin. He was a begger, missing the fingers on one hand, as I recall. He was blind. His eyes had been..." Zedd's eyes suddenly fixed on hers. She was watching him. "His eyes had been gouged out."
Adie nodded. "Indeed they had." Her face was iron again. "Every new moon, he came to me, and I cut something off him, letting his screams try to fill the emptiness in me."
Zedd leaned back, his hands pressed to the table top. Iron indeed. "So you made a new home in Kelton?"
"No. I made no home. I traveled, seeking out women with the gift, ones who could help me in my studies. None knew very much of what I sought, but each knew at least a little that others did not.