Strange Future: A 23rd Century Guide for the 21st Century Cynic by Josh Smith
Chapter 5:
Thomas left the library and walked in the direction of the realtor's office, his mind swimming in a pool of a million thoughts. The future! In his mind he always envisioned time travel as taking place in a shiny looking car. The car would dash off and obtain a mystical speed of eighty-eight miles per hour before leaping through the space-time continuum and arriving at the predetermined time period. Something like that he would readily take advantage of, just for the chance to drive a car with doors that opened the wrong way. But traveling in the future, frozen in a tube? It seemed completely impossible. More implausible, even, than the aforementioned car.
It seemed like too much work to even think about doing something so crazy. He decided to just file it away in the back of his mind and ignore it for the time being. As he walked back through the doors of the realtor's office, the secretary glanced up furtively. She watched him as he sat down in a chair and stared vacantly into the air around him. Patricia wondered if she should even bother, but decided that it could be fun. She searched her memory to find the best tone of voice to use for this situation to express her utter and complete contempt for him.
"Excuse me, sir," she exhaled. "I hate to interrupt your deep, important thoughts, but according to the plastic clock hands, Ms. Tharpe is done with her lunch, and has been for some time. The clock also informs me that you are late and that it would be in your best interests to go back and see her now before her next appointment in ten minutes."
"Oh, er, yes. Thank you. Very much." Thomas flushed and walked back towards the office. He made a mental note to never attempt to befriend a secretary, lest his self-worth be completely shattered. He found a door labeled "Caroline Tharpe, Realtor" and knocked timidly.
"Come in!" A voice from inside said. Thomas entered. "Sit, sit, we're already behind and we've got so much to discuss! Hello! How are you? I trust you're well and ready to sell otherwise you wouldn't be here!" She laughed at her rhyme, briefly thought about pointing it out to showcase her brilliance, thought better of it and smiled brightly instead. She appeared to be in her early forties, wore bright red lipstick, at least three strands of pearls, large hoop earrings, and the most horrible wig Thomas had ever seen in his life. It took great effort for Thomas to not stare blankly into the wig's deeply entangled fray of orange curls.
"So tell me what you have for me, I know you're a walk-in, but I hope you brought me some pictures!"
"Ah, yes, here they are." He produced an envelope from his pocket. It was badly mangled from the run. "Sorry," he said sheepishly as he handed it to her.
Caroline sighed and reached for the envelope. It was all she needed to have another one of these types of people. But a customer was a customer, a sale was a sale, and money, was glorious, green, shiny money. She fiddled with the envelope, intentionally giving the appearance of struggling with it to make a point, and finally opened it to pull out the photographs.
"My my my..." she said as she flipped through them, laboriously straightening each one out as she went. "It's even more beautiful than I would've imagined! Thomas, even in today's relatively poor real estate market, I can tell you now that you aren't going to have a single problem selling this place. Now, not that I wish to discourage you of course," she laughed and reached for his arm, firmly grasping it and suddenly changing her tone, "but may I ask why you're selling such a wonderful place?" Thomas didn't appreciate the physical contact at all, but chose to ignore it for the time being.
"Honestly, I'm sick of the big city life, I just want to get out of here and move to an area where it's wide and open, where you don't have a couple thousand neighbors within a few blocks, and where I can enjoy nature." He moved his arm back towards him. Caroline's grip didn't budge.
"I see, I see," she said quickly, "and where, may I ask, do you intend on moving to to obtain such a thing?"
"Well, I'm not entirely sure... I know land is cheap out west in some places. I'm sure you can find cheap land in the country near here too. I was thinking of taking the money I get from the condo, combining it with my savings, and buying a nice, small house with a large plot of land." Caroline's face dropped. All sweetness was suddenly absent in her voice and mannerisms.
"Honey, I'm going to be completely honest with you. I don't have time to be taken on a wild goose chase with someone who's going to list their place and then suddenly back out on me. Time is money and I'm not going to let you waste my money! Now before you even think of listing, I strongly suggest you do some research into where you want to live and find a potential new home there--with the help of a fellow realtor of course. Once you've done that, compare the new house and environment, especially the neighbors, with what you have here. After you've seriously evaluated things, come back to me. I'm not going to help you out unless you've done some more research, especially since this is such a ... drastic decision."
Suddenly there was a rap on the door and Caroline's demeanor changed back to what it was before. "And that'll be my four 'o' clock!" She walked to the door and opened it. "You have my number Mr. Gordon, you think things over now and give me a call. Hello hello, how are you?" She said to her next customers, ushering them into the room while simultaneously ushering Thomas out. Thomas stood in the hallway, his mind lost and refusing to be found. He left the office and headed home, unable to think of anything but his bed, and how much he desired to slide into it.