TAILSPIN by Jaimie Roberts
Once I reach Starbucks, I spot Aaron wearing a beautifully styled navy suit. His hair is slicked back and he’s clean shaven. I see all the women staring at him, but I don’t blame anyone. He’s certainly someone you notice.
When he looks up and sees me, he quickly stands up and gives me a beaming smile. “You look beautiful.” He leans over and kisses me on the cheek, lingering a little longer than he should.
“Thank you,” I reply, blushing. I know I’m with Devon, but I’m not completely blind to his attractiveness. I pull away, hastily sitting. It may be nice and cool in here, but I still feel the heat. It doesn’t help that he smells like he does. He wears some nice aftershave. “You’re looking really good, too.” I place my bag down. “Aren’t you hot in that, though?”
He chuckles. “I would love nothing more than to get out of this, but I’ve been in meetings all morning.” He smiles. “No Devon?”
“No, he’s in meetings today, too.”
“It never seems to end in this line of work.” We laugh. It seems the air has grown thick around us and I’ve only just gotten here. “Do you want a coffee?”
I nod. “Actually, that would be nice. Seeing as all I’ve had today is water, I could use a change. I’ll have an Americano, please.”
Smiling, he gets up and orders. There aren’t too many people, so he manages to come back with it rather quickly.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiles brightly before sitting back down. “So, what’s been happening in your life since you got back from New York?”
Looking down, I place my fingers on the coffee mug and tap it a little. I haven’t yet had a chance to tell Aaron that Devon and I are officially together. For some reason, I feel a little nervous about telling him, like it will hurt his feelings. Pretty egotistical of me, I know, but the feeling’s still there.
“My brother’s in Afghanistan now.”
He looks concerned as he leans over the table. “That’s tough. How long has it been?”
“Six weeks and two days. Believe me, I’m counting.” I chuckle a little, even though I don’t find it funny.
“How is he coping out there?”
“He’s coping with it the only way Charlie knows how. By joking about anything and everything. It’s just how he is.”
He takes a sip of his coffee. “I suppose that’s the Forces for you.”
I nod before blowing on my coffee and taking a sip of my own. Without looking at him, I say, “Devon and I are together now.” I don’t hear him say anything, so I look up at him.
When I lock my eyes on his, he smiles. “The man finally saw sense. That’s good.” When I laugh, he fixes me with a perplexed look. “What? Don’t you think that’s the case? He probably knew I was going to try and sweep you off your feet, so he decided to get there first. I can hardly blame the man. I would have done the same in his shoes.”
As if Devon knows someone’s talking about him, I receive a text. I already know it’s him before I look. He should be out of his meeting by now. “Excuse me a second,” I say to Aaron. He motions with his hand that it’s okay.
You’re not in the office. Is everything okay?
Everything’s fine. I’m in Starbucks down the street. Come and meet us.
Us?
You’ll see. xx
I smile as I put my phone away. “I think we will have another guest joining us soon.”
“If he knows it’s me, he’ll be here in no time.”
I shake my head with a smirk. “I’ve deliberately not said anything so it will be a surprise.”
“Well, I better not be making any untoward advances to his girl before he gets here.”
I start giggling. “Aaron, stop.”
He smiles. “You’re so cute when you blush, you know that?”
I give him a reprimanding look. “I thought we were just supposed to be friends?”
He leans toward me. “We are, but there’s no harm in a little flirtation. Besides,” he says, tapping my left finger. “I don’t see a ring on that yet. Until there is, it’s pretty much fair game.”
Seeing something out of the corner of his eye, he turns his head, smiling. I don’t look. I’m too gobsmacked by what he just said.
“Aaron, what are you doing here?”
The sound of Devon’s voice jolts me out of my stupor. I look up to find him looking both confused and pissed off. When he sees me looking at him, he gives me a smile, bends down, kisses me possessively, then sits down as close to me as possible. He pulls me to him, wrapping his arm around my waist.
Aaron smirks. “I was in town on last-minute business. I just thought I would stop by for a coffee.”
“Has it gone well for you?”
He nods. “It has. Thanks.”
“Are you in London for long? We could maybe go for dinner.”
“That’s nice of you to offer. Unfortunately, I have to go back tonight. I just hoped to get a quick coffee and say hello before I head back to my hotel. I have a late checkout at three, and it’s almost,” he looks at his watch, “two-thirty now.”
Devon squeezes me to him, almost as if he’s telling me he’s not happy. “What hotel are you staying at? If you’d like, I can get my driver to take you back.”
Aaron smiles. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
Devon quickly grabs his phone and calls his driver. Once he puts it down, he says, “He should be here in five minutes.”
The conversation awkwardly turns to other things. Meanwhile, I’m still a little stunned by Aaron’s confession. He didn’t seem like the type to play these competitive games. I thought it was more Devon’s style.
When Devon’s phone rings, he abruptly answers. As I hear him say, “Yes, thank you. We’ll be right out,” Aaron fixes me with his eyes. I see mischief there, causing me to give him a warning look back. Aaron just smirks, shaking his head.
“That was my driver. He’s waiting outside.”
Aaron sucks in a breath. “Well, I suppose that’s me then. I told you it was just a flying visit.”
As we all get up, I say, “Thank you for the coffee.”
“You’re welcome, Andi. It was my pleasure.”
When he gives me a bright smile, Devon nudges me. “We better get back to the office.”
I look up at him. “Sure.”
We all walk outside, Devon’s arm wrapped around my waist the whole time. When we reach the car, Aaron turns and holds his hand out to Devon. “It was nice to see you again.”
“And you, too,” he answers, shaking it.
Aaron pulls away and comes in to give me a kiss on the cheek. When he does, Devon grips my waist tighter.
“It was lovely seeing you again, Andi. We must arrange that trip to New York again someday. I know Joanne would love to see you on a more personal level.”
“That would be nice. Take care and have a nice flight back.” It was lovely seeing him again, but I know he must be winding Devon up.
“Speak soon.” He gives a little salute with his fingers before getting into the car. Once he drives off, my shoulders relax a little, but not for long.
“We need to get back to the office.” Devon keeps me close to his body as he practically drags me back. I know he’s angry, but a part of me doesn’t want to look up. Against my better judgment, I do, seeing his jaw ticking, confirming it.
Once we reach the office, I start to walk to my desk, but Devon tugs me back to him. “In my office. Now.” He growls the last word, so I know not to go against him.
Briefly, he lets me go, but only to make sure I’m inside before he shuts the door. I turn, about to ask him what’s wrong, when he stalks toward me, backing me up until my legs hit his desk. In an instant, he has his hand between my legs, roughly pushing my thighs apart.
“I need to fuck you.” He breathes angrily against my ear before starting to kiss me aggressively.
I push at his chest. “What are you doing, Devon. Not here and not now.”
&nb
“Why?” I ask, knowing I would rather die than let him fuck me in here.
“I need you.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m fucking horny. That’s why.” He bends down, trying to kiss me, but I turn my face away. When that doesn’t work, his hand comes around and tries to push into my knickers.
“Devon, stop.”
Picking me up, he places me on the table, forcing my legs apart.
“Devon, stop!” I shout, pushing him as hard as I can. He steps back a little, allowing me to get up and compose myself. “You’re pissed off, I get that, but this is not the way to resolve it. Fuck, Devon. When are you going to get it through that thick head of yours that I’m with you?” I push myself away and walk to his door. “And if you think I’m going to allow you to do to me what you’ve done to countless other women in here, you have another thing coming.”
I walk out, slamming the door behind me before grabbing my things. I don’t care that I have a ton of work to do. There’s no way I’m going to allow him to treat me this way every time petty jealousy gets the better of him.
After taking two trains home, I finally reach my apartment building, seeing Devon sitting on the doorstep, waiting. He sheepishly looks down the stairs as I start walking up. “I’m sorry. Okay?”
Angrily, I place the key in the lock. “Where have I heard that before?” I push the door open and Devon follows me in. Once inside my apartment, I place my things down and turn to him.
He sighs. “I was pissed off that Aaron was there and looking at you the way he was. It’s no fucking mystery that he likes you and wants you for himself, Andi. You can’t be blind to that fact.”
I shake my head. “No, I’m not blind, but I keep telling you I’m not interested in anyone else. I’m with you. I’ve chosen you. The fact you keep feeling like you need to stamp your authority over me somehow makes me feel … I don’t know … belittled.”
He walks forward, raising a hand to my cheek. “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to make you feel inferior of me in any way.” He turns away, angrily running his hands through his hair. “I keep fucking this up.” He sits down on the sofa, looking defeated.
Feeling bad, I walk toward him and sit down. I pick up his hand, causing him to look at me. His eyes don’t look cold anymore. Instead, there’s a vulnerability there I haven’t seen often. I know he has his demons and is suffering because of them. “I’m not your enemy. And, before you ask, I’m not going anywhere.”
We both lightly chuckle as he squeezes my hand. “I guess I just like controlling everything around me.” He looks up from our hands. “Even you.”
“I want to understand you, but I also want you to understand that my commitment is with you. No one else. You. My heart belongs to you.”
He nods. “I know.” He looks down again. “There was so much of my life I couldn’t control when I was a kid.” He suddenly looks disgusted, but doesn’t say anything.
I nudge him. “What is it?”
Closing his eyes, he shakes his head. “No, I can’t tell you this. It’s completely fucked up.”
I squeeze his hand tightly. “Devon, please. You can tell me anything. I promise whatever it is won’t leave this room.”
His chest heaves with a heavy sigh. He won’t look at me. “So many things have happened that I haven’t told a soul about.” He suddenly turns his head toward me. “So many things in my life that I wished I could have controlled.” He looks so vulnerable right now that my heart aches for him. I have a feeling about what he is referring to, but as he’s not offering that information right now, I feel I need to push him. “Your mother?” I ask.
He sucks in a big, deep breath and nods. “Yes, my mother. There were lots of things, but my mother is definitely one of the major players.”
When he doesn’t offer anymore than that, I raise my hand, cupping his cheek to make him look at me. When he turns his head and locks me with those icy blue eyes, I plead with him with my own. “Devon, I need you to know that I’m here for you no matter what. Please trust me enough to let me in. I know something awful flashed through your mind a moment ago. What was it?”
When I place my hand down, Devon turns his head away from me, his eyes downcast. “I once caught my brother performing a sexual act on my mum.”
I gasp and throw my hand over my mouth. I actually feel vomit rise. “You’re kidding?”
He laughs sadly. “I really wish I were. He was seventeen and high as a kite—just like Mum. They didn’t even know what they were fucking doing. I heard noises, so went to his room. I’ve always wished I hadn’t opened that door. It’s an image that won’t ever leave my head.”
I snuggle my head into his chest. “What you went through as a kid …” I close my eyes on a sigh. “I can’t even begin to imagine what that was like for you. I understand that because you couldn’t control that particular time of your life, you want to control everything now, but there are just some things that are beyond your control. I know you feel like Aaron’s a threat, but you can’t keep throwing your weight around every time you think someone’s trying to steal me from you.” I nudge him with my fist. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Picking my hand up, he places it to his lips. “I know you’re not. Do you forgive me?”
I close my eyes, inhaling his sweet scent. I don’t know what’s going to become of us in six months, a year, or even a few years from now. Hopefully, in time, I will make him see that I can be someone to lean on and trust. As long as he carries on loving me, I will love him right back.
So, as I breathe out a small sigh, I already know what my answer is going to be. “Yes, Devon. I forgive you.”
I’m at work when it all happens. It’s like one of those movies where everything is eerily quiet, then the phone suddenly rings, the person staring at it like it’s something to be afraid of.
That is me. The phone rings. I stare at it. When I pick it up, I wish I hadn’t.
“Can I … speak … with Devon Jackson, please?” a woman sobs into the phone. I frown, immediately wondering who this is.
“May I ask whose calling?”
“It’s Beth Townsend.”
I’ve certainly never heard that name before. I tell her to hold while I put her through. Devon, knowing it’s me, answers with a sultry hello.
“I have a lady on the phone. She sounds really upset.”
“Who is it?” he asks without hesitation.
“Someone named Beth Townsend.”
Deathly silence. Then he says, “Put her through.”
I desperately want to ask who she is, but I put her through, knowing I can be nosey once he’s finished. I know I’ve certainly not heard her name before, so she’s not been in the office.
I sit in my chair, staring at the clock as the hand goes around one minute, then two, then three. After another three minutes, Devon suddenly appears, keys in hand as he places his jacket on.
“I’ll be back in an hour.”
Before I have a chance to ask him what this is all about, he strides out the door. Stunned, I sit there, biting my lip for a moment. I know his sudden departure has everything to do with the phone call. I’m not normally one to get suspicious, but something isn’t sitting right with me. I know the normal protocol is to have me here whenever Devon isn’t, but I can’t sit and wait on this.
Without another thought, I grab my bag and head out the door. I have a feeling Devon’s taking his car because he had the keys in his hands, so I will have to use a taxi to track him down. It shouldn’t be too hard, considering he has a bright red Ferrari with the license plate WRLDWD1 on it. I hate doing this because it makes me feel like a stalker girlfriend, but I can’t just sit around hoping he’ll give me answers upon his return.
Immediately seeing his car pull out of the garage, I hail a taxi and hastily get in, saying the famous word
As I sit on the edge of the seat, I keep an eye on his car. We make our way down Oxford Street, then into Park Lane. As we come out at Hyde Park, Devon parks and quickly gets out. I ask the driver to stop, hand him the money, and quickly follow on foot, keeping my distance. He seems to be in a rush, his body tense as he marches through the park and toward a café. I notice him stop, look through the window for a moment, and then rush in.
Carefully, I walk toward the café. I only need to see enough to figure out who he’s gone to meet. As the glass panels of the café come into view, I see Devon sitting at a table with a blonde woman who’s dressed smartly in a skirt suit. Whoever she is, she’s completely different from the women he would normally go for. The women he used to entertain were model types, but this one is refined, beautiful. She’s also crying. As Devon sits beside her, he offers her an arm. She accepts it, tugging at his shirt so she can bury her head into his chest. It looks like a man offering comfort to his girlfriend or wife. They look so natural together. So close. So enamoured. For a moment, I want to pull away and block out what I’m seeing, but a part of me says I’m being silly. This could just be an old friend who’s in trouble and needs his comfort. I see her pull away. He tenderly wipes a tear from her face, then she pulls him toward her lips.
Gut-wrenching pain hits my stomach, forcing me to turn away. I may have been compelled to watch at first, but not anymore.
I’ve seen more than enough.
I rush through the park and hail another cab, but I don’t go back to the office. I don’t go home, either. When the taxi driver asks where I want to go, I speak before thinking.
Over thirty minutes later, I arrive at Richmond Cemetery. The place where my mother’s buried. I normally come here every other Sunday, but I feel I need to be close to her right now.
I pay the driver, walk to my mother’s grave, and kneel beside it. With my finger, I gently trace the grooves of the name, then smooth out the flowers my dad must have brought recently.