Tatiana and Alexander by Paullina Simons
“He was a major, once. Demoted to captain.”
“Captain, how are your ribs? Do you think they’re broken?” asked Tatiana.
“I’m not a doctor,” said Alexander. “I don’t know. Perhaps.”
Unbuttoning his shirt, she slowly ran her hands from his throat down to his ribs, whispering, “What hurts, what hurts?”
He did not answer. He said nothing, nor did he open his eyes.
His body was unclean and black and blue. She thought his ribs were broken, but when she touched them he did not flinch. That could just be Alexander—he didn’t flinch when she cleaned his head, either—but decided to leave the matter.
She moved down to his leg irons, detached them, and washed his feet in soapy water. His ankles felt pulpy. The skin on them felt eaten away and raw. It was hard to see in the dark.
Karolich continued to sit. He even lit a smoke, sat coolly and enjoyed it.
“Would you like a smoke, Nurse Barrington? These cigarettes are very good.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant, but I don’t smoke. Perhaps your prisoner would like one?”
Karolich laughed and shoved Alexander’s hip with his boot. “Prisoners in camp jail do not get cigarette privileges, do they, Belov?” He took a deep drag and blew the smoke into Alexander’s face.
Tatiana got up. “Lieutenant, stop provoking the prisoner in front of me. We’re finished here. Let’s go.”
Alexander emitted a despondent sound.
Tatiana collected her things. Karolich locked Alexander’s wrists and ankles to the manacles once again.
“How long has it been since this prisoner was fed?” she asked.
“We feed him,” Karolich replied gruffly. “More than he deserves.”
“How does he eat? Do you take the irons off him?”
“The irons never come off him. We put the food in front of him, and he crawls to it and bends his face and eats it off the ground.”
“He didn’t eat his food. Do you see the state of him? Is this his old plate? He didn’t eat it, but the rats did. You have rats here, Lieutenant, because you leave the food on the ground for days, and they know where to come for their supper. You do know that rats carry the plague, don’t you? The International Red Cross is here to ensure that exactly these kinds of abuses do not happen. Now, let’s get the old straw out and sweep some clean straw under him.”
After they had done so, Karolich picked up the plate off the ground. “He’ll be brought fresh food later,” he said brusquely.
She glanced at Alexander, who lay with his eyes closed, his hands clenched in shackles at his stomach. She wanted to tell him she would be back, but she didn’t want Karolich to hear her quivering voice.
“Don’t go,” he said, without opening his eyes.
“We’ll come back later to see how you are,” Tatiana said weakly, and was grateful that his hands were manacled because she knew he would not have let her go had he been able to move them.
Tatiana was blinded for a moment by the gray daylight. She stopped cold to get her bearings, and when Karolich asked if she wanted to get some lunch, she said, no, thank you, because she had to count how many supplies they still had left. She told him to go on ahead, that she would soon follow.
The camp prison was located just to the right of the gatehouse and just to the right of her parked Red Cross jeep. The two guards stood sentry above it on the roof. One of them waved to her. She opened the jeep and looked inside. The truck was a quarter full of supplies, there was another bushel of apples and some food parcels left. She knew she had only minutes to think. She stood quietly, and then loaded up the handtruck with sixty medical kits and walked by herself to the nearest barracks. The fact that she could think of entering a barracks by herself, a woman amid 266 men, only spoke of her desperation, but she was not a fool. Her nurse’s bag hung on the handtruck handle and her P-38 was tucked into the front of her pants where everyone could see it.
She handed out one medical kit per bed, told them as she passed them that she would be back with the doctor, quickly ran back to get more kits, and more, and more, rushing, rushing. When she got back to the commandant’s house everyone else was finishing lunch. After downing a glass of water, she went to change her clothes, retouched her makeup and then took Penny and Martin aside and said, “Listen, I think we should return to Berlin to get more kits. We have none left, and we’re running out of bandages and penicillin. We’ll go back tonight and return here tomorrow.”
“We just got here and you want to leave already? She is so fickle, Martin, isn’t she?” Penny said with a twinkle.
“Fickle is the least of what she is,” Martin said. “I told you we shouldn’t have come to a place like this without proper support.”
Tatiana patted him on the shoulder. “You were so right, Dr. Flanagan,” she said. “But we did get through five thousand people between yesterday and today, and that’s quite an achievement.”
They agreed to leave at eight in the evening, though Martin expressed reservations about driving on unfamiliar roads at night. While Penny and Martin went with Karolich through the German civilian barracks that Tatiana had just been through, she said that she was going to finish inspecting the rest of the jailed men. When Karolich said he would come with her, Tatiana said, “Nurse Davenport and Dr. Flanagan need you more. The jailed men are the safest, you know that. After all, they can’t touch me, and I’ll have Corporal Perdov with me.”
Reluctantly, Karolich left with Martin and Penny, and Tatiana ran to the commandant’s kitchen and got them to prepare a hot lunch of sausage, potatoes, squash, bread with butter, and oranges. “I haven’t eaten and I’m starved,” she said gamely. There was a carafe of water, and a large glass of vodka that she poured herself.
As she walked through the jail door, this time she smiled at Corporal Perdov, and he smiled back. “Corporal, I’m here to feed cell number seven. I’ve discussed it with Lieutenant Karolich. The prisoner hasn’t eaten in three days.”
“I can’t unchain him.”
“It won’t be necessary. I’ll feed him.”
“Hey,” Perdov said, looking at her tray. “Is that a glass of something extra special?”
“Why, yes!” She smiled. “But I don’t think our prisoner should have that, do you?”
“Absolutely not!”
“Exactly. Why don’t you have the whole thing.”
Perdov took the vodka and downed it in two gulps. Tatiana watched him amiably. “Very good,” she said. “I might come back later with his dinner, and maybe I can bring the prisoner another glass.” She winked at Perdov.
“Oh, yes,” he said, “but don’t be so stingy next time.” And burped.
“I’ll see what I can do. Now, can you open cell seven for me?”
Alexander was sleeping in a sitting position.
“I think you’re wasting your time,” Perdov said. “This one doesn’t deserve a nurse’s attention. Don’t take too long, all right?”
Leaving the door open, he walked back to his chair and Tatiana descended the step and came to Alexander. Setting the tray on the ground, she kneeled by him and whispered, “Shura…”
He opened his eyes. She threw her arms around him and pressed herself to him, his bandaged head cradled near her neck. She held him as tightly as she could, every once in a while whispering, “Shura…Shura…”
“Tighter, Tania, hold me tighter.”
She held him tighter. “How are the locks?”
Alexander showed her they were open. His wrists lay in them freely. “What happened to your hair?”
“I colored it. Keep your hands in the manacles. Perdov can come in at any time.”
“Are you always on a name basis with the gatekeeper? Why did you color it?”
“Didn’t want to be recognized. Just as well. Nikolai Ouspensky is here.”
“Be very very careful with Nikolai,” he warned. “Like Dimitri, he is the enemy. Come closer.”
She did.
&n
“Makeup over them.”
They kissed. They kissed as if they were young once again in the Luga woods, and it was the first summer of their life, or standing on the ledge of St. Isaac’s under the moon and the stars, they kissed as if they were in Lazarevo, raw for each other, they kissed as if she had just told him she was getting him out of Russia, bending over him in the Morozovo hospital ward. They kissed as if they had not seen each other for many years. They kissed as if they had been together for many years.
They kissed away Orbeli and Dimitri, they kissed away war and communism, America and Russia. They kissed away everything, leaving behind only what remained—pale fragments of Tania and Shura.
His hands moved out of the manacles. She pulled away instantly and shook her head. “No, no, I’m serious. He can come in at any time and then we’re sunk.”
With great reluctance he slipped his hands back in the open iron rings. “Makeup can’t hide the scar on your cheek. Where did you get it? Finland?”
“I’ll tell you all about it later if we have time. Now I’m going to feed you, and you are going to eat your food and listen to me.”
“I’m not hungry. How on this God’s earth did you find me?”
“You will eat your food because you need to be strong,” she said, bringing the spoonful of sausage and potatoes to his mouth. “And you left a short trail of yourself in this world.”
Contrary to his words, he ate ravenously. She didn’t speak while she watched his great hunger.
“Shura…we have seconds, are you listening?”
“Why is this suddenly so familiar?” he said. “Tell me another one of your plans, Tatiasha. How is our boy?”
“Our boy is great. He’s a great, smart, beautiful boy.”
“Where are you living?”
“New York. We have no time. Are you listening?”
He was chewing the bread and could only nod. “What was the name of the man who assaulted you?”
“I’m not telling you.”
“You are telling me. What was his name?”
“No.”
“Tania! What was his name?”
“Grammer Kerault. He is Austrian.”
“I know him.” Alexander’s eyes were cold. “He’s always in here. Dying of stomach cancer, doesn’t care what he does.” Then they warmed as he turned his gaze on her. “How are you going to get me out of here?” he whispered.
She bent over him. They kissed desperately. “Honey,” she whispered. “Honey, I know you’re afraid.”
“I don’t want food, I don’t want drink, or even a smoke. Just…just sit by me for two seconds, Tania. Press yourself to me for two seconds to let me know I am real.”
She pressed herself to him.
“Where are our wedding rings?”
She pulled the rope out from her tunic. “Until we can wear them again,” she whispered—and suddenly heaved herself away.
Perdov stepped into the doorway. “Are you all right, Nurse? You’ve been here a while. Do you need me to help you?”
“No, that won’t be necessary, Corporal, thank you,” Tatiana said, tucking the rings back into her tunic and giving Alexander the last bit of potato. “I’m almost finished. I’ll be just another minute.”
“Give a holler if you need me.” He smiled and disappeared.
“Are you here with a convoy?” Alexander asked.
“There are three of us in one Red Cross jeep. Me, another nurse, and a doctor. We have to get you on that jeep.”
“Tomorrow Stalin is coming for me to take me back to the Soviet Union.”
“Stalin, my love, is late,” said Tatiana. “I’m here for you today. We are leaving at eight p.m. sharp. I’m coming for you promptly at seven. I’m coming with Karolich, so please be ready. I’m bringing you dinner, and you will eat it in front of him, slowly. We need twenty minutes for the secobarbital to work on Perdov.”
Alexander was silent. “You better give him a large amount of secobarbital.”
“An unconscionable amount.”
Alexander stopped chewing his food as he stared at her. “What are you thinking? That you’ll just put me in your little truck and drive me to Berlin?”
“Something like that,” she whispered.
He stared at her for a longish moment and then shook his head. “You’re underestimating the Soviets. How far to Berlin?”
“About twenty-two miles—I mean, thirty-five kilometers.”
Alexander allowed himself a small smile. “You don’t have to convert for me, Tania.”
And she allowed herself a small smile back.
“Any checkpoints?”
“Yes, five.”
“What about your two colleagues?”
“What about them? In one hour, we’re all in the American sector and safe. There is no problem.”
Alexander stared at her incredulously and grimly. “Well, let me tell you, your Red Cross truck will be stopped after twenty minutes. You’ll be lucky to get out of Oranienburg before they’ll come for me, and for you, and for the rest of your gallant crew.” He shook his head. “I’m not doing it.”
“What are you talking about?” she gasped. “How will they know? They won’t know for at least a few hours. And by that time, we’ll be in Berlin.”
Alexander shook his head. “Tania, you have no idea.”
“Then we’ll get off earlier, if you want,” she said. “We’ll get off…wherever you want.”
“They’ll find me before we leave. The guards will inspect the truck.”
“They won’t. You’re going to walk out as Karolich, and drive out of the gate with me, and then you will hide in the crutch and litter compartment in the back. They don’t know there is a compartment in the back.”
“Where are the crutches and litters?”
“Back in Hamburg. We’ll get off, and Martin and Penny will drive on to Berlin, knowing nothing.”
Perdov stood outside the door, swaying. He held on to the door. “Nurse? That’s enough now.”
“I’m coming.” She stood up. Someone called for him, and Perdov staggered down the corridor.
They had a myriad details to go over, but there was no time. From her nurse’s bag she retrieved the Colt 1911 and two extra clips. “Much much more in the truck,” she said, hiding the gun underneath him in the straw. “When we’re on our way for a bit, I’ll knock twice, and you make a distraction for me to stop the truck.”
He said nothing. “And then?”
“Then? There is a hatch on the roof. We climb out onto the roof and jump.”
“While the truck is moving?”
“Yes.” She paused. “Or we can just do it my way and drive the truck into Berlin.”
He said nothing at first. “Not as good as your last plan, Tania,” he said. “And that one failed.”
“That’s the spirit. I’ll see you at seven. Be ready,” she said, and saluted him. “O Captain, my Captain.”
Tatiana pretended to eat dinner with Brestov and Karolich, to listen to banter between Penny and Martin, even to smile. How? She didn’t know. To save him.
She didn’t want to keep looking at her watch, but couldn’t keep herself from staring at Martin’s wrist until she realized she was making him twitch with her unexplained scrutiny. She excused herself and said she would go and pack. Penny excused herself and said since she was already packed she would go and check on barrack nineteen. Tatiana knew there was a man there Penny wanted to say goodbye to. It was 6:00 p.m. For fifteen minutes Tatiana agonized in her room, looking over the map of the area between Oranienburg and Berlin. She could not still her unquiet heart.
At 6:20 she carried her pack to the jeep and returned to the commandant’s kitchen to get another plate of food for Alexander. At 6:45 she filled a glass with vodka and secobarbital and, with her nurse’s bag on her shoulder, picked up the food tray and went to find Karolich.
At 6:55, Penny walked throu
“Hey, nurse, where is the rest of your crew?” he called out in Russian. “Where is that other, hmm, little nurse?”
“It’s a good thing I don’t understand a word of what you’re saying,” Penny retorted in English with a smile, without stopping.
With a smile himself Ouspensky fell back on his bed. Penny brought back the image of the other nurse, the small, black-haired one. He had forgotten all about it, but something had niggled him about her. What was it about her that was so faintly familiar, and why for such a faint familiarity was that niggling so sharp?
“Lieutenant, could you come with me?” Tatiana smiled. “It’s getting late. I want to bring the plate of food for the prisoner in cell number seven, and I don’t want to go alone. And this way you and I could drive the jeep back to the commandant’s house to retrieve Miss Davenport and Dr. Flanagan.”
Karolich walked gladly through the forested path with her. He seemed flattered.
“You are a very good nurse,” he said. “You shouldn’t care so much about the prisoners, though. Take it from me. It makes it too hard to do your job.”
“Don’t I know it, Lieutenant,” she said, walking a little faster.
“You can call me Ivan if you wish.” He coughed.
“Let’s stick with lieutenant for now,” she said, walking faster still.
It was 7:00 when they walked into the jail corridor. All was quiet. Perdov stood up in a salute. Tatiana winked at him, glancing at the vodka glass. Perdov winked back. Karolich passed first, then Tatiana, who nodded and moved the tray over to Perdov who grabbed the full glass, downed it, and put it back on the tray. Karolich was opening cell seven. “Are you coming, Nurse?”
“Coming, Lieutenant.”
Alexander was lying on his side.
Karolich sank down onto the straw with a yawn. He was facing Alexander’s back and his machine gun was on his lap angled at Alexander.
“Feed him quickly, Nurse. I want to be done with my day. That’s the thing about this work. Begins early, ends late, feels like it’s never done.”
“I know what you mean.” Putting the tray on the ground, Tatiana pretended to examine Alexander. “He doesn’t look so good, does he?” she said. “I think he’s getting a terrible infection.”