The Intergalactic Peddler-Volume 1 by Ronnie Coleinger
Chapter 4 – Planet Quantum
Ronnie set a course for the planet Quantum in the galaxy of Fusion. This galaxy was located in Universe Number Two, the same universe where Earth is located. Ronnie was planning to spend a couple of weeks laying low with his sister and her two lovely daughters. Frederica was twelve years old, and Monica was ten last week. Ronnie planned to take them both belated birthday presents on this trip. He would also introduce Connie to his sister and his nieces. They should get along great, but you just never know about women.
When they arrived in the planets orbit, the Director of Operations gave them permission to teleport down to the surface, directly to the front porch of Janet’s home. When they materialized, Ronnie heard Connie swear quietly, and then watched as she crawled across the porch on her hands and knees to the flowerbed. Ronnie was not sure what was wrong with her, but she was now lying over the edge of the wooden porch on her belly, puking her supper to the ground below. Just then, Janet stepped out on the porch to see what was going on and found her brother kneeling down over a woman lying on her belly, puking in the flowerbed. Janet quickly kneeled down on the other side of Connie and spoke quietly to Ronnie until Connie’s stomach seemed to settle down a little. Janet asked Connie if she could sit up now. Connie rolled over, sat up and Janet helped her lean back against the wall. Connie was very pale and when she finally spoke, her voice trembled.
Ronnie asked her if she was ill or if the teleportation had upset her body. Connie said it was the teleportation thing. Janet went inside, got a glass of water for Connie and then got her to her feet. They went inside the house and Connie sat down on the edge of the sofa. Janet stood in front of her, and then showed Connie where the bathroom was in case her stomach turned upside down again. Connie was beginning to get her color back, and Ronnie introduced everyone. The girls were at school and would not be teleported home for another hour. Connie apologized to Janet for the mess in her flowerbed, but Janet said the rains would fix that problem tonight. Connie told Ronnie she had never teleported before and was not sure she was going to like this new method of transportation. Ronnie put his hand on her shoulder and explained that some humans had trouble the first few times they teleported, but the problem should diminish and finally go away.
Ronnie said he would get some medicine for her to take before she teleported back to The Empress in a few hours. Janet looked at her brother and said, “Connie is going nowhere tonight, she can sleep right here and get herself under control.” Janet made them some hot tea and Connie said that helped a lot; the color had now returned to her cheeks and she looked as if she might survive the ordeal. Ronnie said that he would really like Connie to spend the night at The Empress if she was able. He said he would go and get her some medicine to take an hour before they planned to teleported again. Ronnie stood up, touched Connie’s shoulder, and then walked the two blocks to the pharmacy.
While he was gone to the pharmacy, the two girls got to know each other. Connie explained to Janet how she and Ronnie had met, but left out the parts about the two cops and about the sexual encounter on planet Earth. Ronnie had just stepped in the porch door to the kitchen when the girls teleported into the center of the living room. Their arrival startled Connie and she put her fingers over her mouth to stifle the words that spewed from her lips. The girls looked around the room, smiled at their mother, said, “Hello” to Connie, and then ran to Ronnie.
Ronnie hugged on the girls for a few minutes, caught himself up on all the latest boyfriends, and then walked the girls to where Connie sat on the couch and introduced everyone. With the introductions complete, Janet asked Ronnie if he and Connie would stay for supper. Ronnie said they could, and Connie asked if she could help prepare supper. Janet stood up, took Connie’s hand and walked with her to the kitchen. When they had washed their hands and gotten the food out of the refrigerator to begin cooking, Janet got Connie started preparing salads while she put the meat on the gas grill in the range top. It only took the girls about thirty minutes to prepare supper.
Frederica and Monica had set the table, with expert guidance from Ronnie on proper napkin folding techniques. When it was time to sit down at the table, Ronnie put a birthday card on each of the girl’s dinner plates before they sat down. Ronnie pulled the chairs out and helped all four of his girl’s take their chairs. With everyone seated, Ronnie asked Janet if the girls could open their cards before they ate. They quickly opened the cards, read them, and then opened the second page. They each found a gold Galax coin taped inside the cards. It was a lot of money, but Ronnie knew that Janet struggled to dress the girls and provide for them, so the extra money helped. What Janet did not know was that when Ronnie had went to the pharmacy for Connie’s medicine, he had stopped at the grocery store and talked to the owner that he had known for years and asked him to deliver fifty Milli-Galax (500 US dollars) of food tomorrow morning to help his sister. She would not take her brothers money, but she had no choice when Ronnie had groceries delivered and she could not refuse the delivery. Ronnie knew she would cry tears tomorrow and act pissed at him, but that was okay, Ronnie knew her financial situation very well. Ronnie would make sure he warned Connie about Janet’s tears before they happened so she would understand what was going on. Dinner was very good and the food made Connie’s stomach feel much better. She had puked up her lunch so she was starving by suppertime.
When supper was over, Connie offered to help do the dishes, but Janet said that she and the girls would take care of the dishes, and asked Ronnie to show Connie around the neighborhood. As Ronnie and Connie walked, Ronnie took the opportunity to explain the food delivery tomorrow and the possibility of Janet’s tears. Connie stopped walking, took Ronnie’s hand in hers and said, “Ronnie, I just wanted to thank you for being understanding with me when I puked up my lunch this afternoon, and I also what to tell you that the love I just saw between your family gives me hope that there are some really good people left in this universe.” Then she leaned up and planted a kiss on Ronnie’s cheek. Ronnie put his arm around her shoulders as they began walking again.
When they got back to the house, Ronnie explained to Connie that they really should spend the night at The Empress. The young girls were off doing something, and Ronnie spoke softly to Connie and his sister, explaining that if the Federation would actually track him down, he did not want them to connect him to his sister’s home. He wanted them to think that he had stopped in for a visit and then left. Janet would not have to lie about anything, just tell the Federation that Ronnie had left and she did not know where he went. Janet asked if he had done something horrible, and Ronnie told her that he had killed two Federation cops, but could blame the whole thing on a teleportation error at this point. The only real crime right now was not sticking around and explaining the incident to the Federation. This lie might save his and Connie’s asses if the Federation cops found The Empress.
Neither Ronnie nor Connie said anything about the rape charges filed against Ronnie. Ronnie hoped that Connie could help clear those charges if they went to Federal court. When Ronnie and Connie had said their goodbyes to the girls, Ronnie walked Connie to the porch where they had arrive, took hold of her hand, and pressed the green button on his travel watch. When Connie’s feet hit the floor of the ready room, she quickly reached for the trashcan sitting beside the console. She put her head over the can and began the process of puking her supper into the trashcan. As she calmed herself, she finally looked at Ronnie and said, “So this fucking medicine I took to help me with this little problem, explain that again. Other than the fact that it looks real pretty pink in the bottom of this trashcan, I don’t see the good in it.” She puked again, then sat back, leaned against the wall and tried to compose herself. Ronnie took two more of the tablets out of the bottle, gave them to her with a tiny cup of water. She looked at them with disgust, but finally swallowed them with the help of the water. Connie finally picked up the trashcan and started walking to the bathroom to empty and cle
Ronnie knew that he needed to get a handle on this problem quickly or Connie was going to be very thin and dehydrated in another week, and she was already too skinny. Ronnie went to the ready room and made a radio call back to the pharmacy he had purchased the pills from to get more information. The pharmacist gave Ronnie a whole list of things to do, but the biggest was to take the pills an hour before she teleported, then five minutes later after she quit puking. He explained that the pills should work, but Connie might have to work up a schedule to eat long before or after any teleportation so she could at least get some nutrition from the food she ate. He also said to try putting his arms around Connie and hugging her close before teleporting. He said he did not know why, but it worked with some people. The close body contact seemed to change the way the human body’s atoms reassembled at the end of the teleportation process, and prevented the inner ear imbalance that produced the nausea.
When Connie walked back into the ready room, she walked up behind Ronnie and looked over his shoulder at the monitor screen. She saw a list of things to try to prevent the distress of teleportation. She realized the top item on the list was about the proper use of the pills, and the second item on the list that worked the best was the hug. Connie giggled as she read the second item, then asked Ronnie if he could deal with a woman who would puke on his shoulder as they teleported. Ronnie said that she should try it before she scoffed at the idea, because the pharmacist said it worked very well on many of his patients. Connie squeezed his shoulder and asked if he knew some place that they could teleport to and test the theory right now. She said her stomach was empty, so it was good time to test things out. Ronnie stood up and said they could teleport back to the planet Quantum if she wanted to. They could stabilize in the park just down the street from the pharmacy. Ronnie put his arms around Connie and held her very tight; she put her head on his shoulder. Ronnie pushed the green button on his travel watch and they were standing in the park, still hugging. Ronnie finally spoke to her, “So how do you feel right now,” he asked. She said nothing, but released her grip on his body and stepped back. She began smiling from ear to ear and said, “I feel quite fine, thank you.” She turned around and walked a little to be sure the feelings were not going to sneak up on her. She looked at Ronnie and reminded him that her stomach was empty. She smiled and said, “Maybe I should eat some food and then test this again.” Ronnie, reached out, took her hands and pulled her close. She rested her head on his shoulder and he pushed the green button once again. They now stood in the ready room and Ronnie quickly grabbed the trashcan, just in case the second time was the charm. Connie put her hands on her hips and said, “We will not look very professional with this technique, but it certainly seems to work.” Ronnie smiled and said he did not care how professional it was, the result was the important thing right now.
They went into the kitchen and Ronnie showed Connie around the kitchen area. He knew she would be starving in a little while. He took twenty minutes making sure she understood the food replicator and the beverage replication system. Then he began showing her every nook and cranny of The Empress. He showed her how the computer inventory system worked, how to find any item she might need, and how to label the item she removed from inventory so they could replace it later. He showed her how to locate the clothing she would need, such as socks, underwear, flight suits, and boots, and then helped her retrieve the items she needed from the inventory control locker. He helped her pick out a toothbrush, soap, washcloths, towels, and then they covered her bed with the things they had found in inventory. They put all her belongings into the dresser drawers, and closet. As they walked back to the computer console, Connie asked if she could search for one last item she needed. Ronnie stepped back from the screen and let her think her way through the process. Soon she heard the chuckle leave his lips and she elbowed him in the ribs. The items shown on the monitor screen were tampons. Ronnie handed her a pad of paper and a pencil, she wrote down the location and headed off to find the tampons. She did very well and Ronnie was pleased. She had grasped the concepts very quickly, and was not awe struck by the vastness of the inventory on The Empress.
Ronnie sat Connie down in the copilot’s chair and said they needed to allow her to interact with the computer by voice commands. Connie stared straight ahead, but Ronnie could see that the computers voice did intimidate her. He spoke to the computer using very simple commands to turn on the cabin lights, spoke again, and turned the lights off. Ronnie asked the computer to turn the heat up one degree and then to return the heat back to normal. Ronnie had programmed the computers voice to be a deep masculine voice, easily distinguishable from his own. Ronnie spoke again to the computer and said, “Computer, the female sitting in the copilot’s seat is named, Connie.” The computer said, “Hello Connie.” Connie looked at Ronnie and he motioned with his hand for her to speak to the computer. Connie finally managed the words, “Hello computer, I hope you do not mind me staying here in your vessel.” Ronnie snickered, but said nothing. The computer then spoke again to Connie. “You are welcome here Connie. Ronnie’s mind tells me that we will be working together, performing inventory control and maintenance on the equipment inside this travel membrane.” Connie now seemed to have gained her ability to interact with the computer and asked the computer if she could, drive, The Empress. The computer remained quiet for a long moment, and then addressed Connie. “Connie, if your meaning for the word, drive, means to point this vessel in the correct direction and turn the steering wheel to maintain that relative direction, the answer is, no. If your question refers to inputting a travel destination and allowing me to guide you to that destination, then the answer is, yes. However, that control function is password protected and Ronnie will need to give you the proper passwords to drive this vessel.” Connie quickly countered the computers answer with another question. “If Ronnie died of a heart attack in his sleep, would you then allow me to drive?” Ronnie laughed aloud at her question, but the computer followed her train of thought and said, “Connie, you must understand that I would not allow that medical emergency to occur so your question cannot be answered as it stands. Would you like to reword the question and ask it again?” Connie struggled for another way to solve the problem, but finally gave up for now and said, “Computer, I will ask the question again at a later time, thank you for talking with me.”
When Connie looked to Ronnie, he had tears running down his cheeks from laughing. Ronnie reached over and put his hand on Connie’s and replied, “Connie, I will teach you how to drive after you have been on board awhile and understand the systems operation a little better.” Ronnie sat in his chair at the control console trying to remember the last time anyone had made him laugh until his stomach hurt. He could not remember the last time, but decided that Connie was a very nice addition to The Empress, even if he did hate puke. As they sat at the control console and talked, Ronnie heard Connie’s stomach begin protesting its lack of food. He asked her if she was hungry. She looked him in the eyes and said she was starving, but was still afraid to eat. She told Ronnie she would wait a little longer.
Ronnie stood up and said he needed to eat a little now and headed towards the kitchen. Connie sat in the copilot’s chair, and in a few moments closed her eyes and fell asleep. When Ronnie had a bowl of soup heated, he sat down at the kitchen table, turned on the video monitor and watched a broadcast coming from planet Quantum. He touched the remote control lying on the table beside him and the monitor screen displayed a split screen, left side was the news broadcast, right side was a picture the computer was sending him of Connie sitting in the copilot’s chair, sound asleep. Ronnie chuckled to himself and decided once again that it was nice to have human company aboard The Empress.
Ronnie spoke to the computer, “Computer, would you wake Connie, then see that she gets a shower, clean clothes, food if she desires,
The question from the computer surprised Ronnie; he chuckled to himself as he answered the question. “Computer, Connie will be staying with us for an extended period of time and I would like to make her feel comfortable and respected here on The Empress. She most certainly will prove to be very valuable to this business venture, and yes, I do consider her very special. I find that her presence around me makes me feel happy, and I enjoy her company.” As the last word left his mouth, Connie stepped around the corner of the kitchen doorway. She leaned against the doorway smiling at Ronnie. Ronnie was certain his cheeks must have blushed, but he managed to speak softly to Connie. As she stepped into the kitchen, she walked up behind him and put her hands on his shoulders. She did not say anything, but leaned down and kissed Ronnie’s neck. She finally spoke, saying that she had decided she was hungry and very thirsty. Ronnie told her if she needed any help with the replicators, to ask.
When Connie had gotten the food she wanted and a hot cup of coffee, she sat down at the table with him. She sat quietly, not knowing if she should talk or keep her mouth shut. She finally could not keep the words inside her head one more second, looked into Ronnie’s eyes and said, “I liked your explanation for, tucked into bed that you provided to the computer. Thanks for putting up with me today. You will soon discover that you will need to add three more words to your vocabulary, and you may need to use them often. The words will be, Connie, shut up.” Ronnie began laughing again, reached over, touched her hand, and explained that it was nice to hear a female voice, and he would not often tell her to shut up.
When Connie had finished her meal, she said aloud, “Computer, where do I dispose of the dirty table wear when I am done using it?” The computer explained the process to her, and as she walked past Ronnie, she said, “Good night, Ronnie,” then spoke again, “Computer, would you now tuck me into bed.” As she walked through the kitchen door, Ronnie spoke to the computer. “Computer, would you please warn me when Connie is listening to my voice so I can refrain from embarrassing either of us.” Then he heard Connie speak to the computer as she stood in the hallway, “Computer, disregard the last command Ronnie just gave you. Always allow me to hear his spoken words so I can understand how our friendship is evolving.” Ronnie felt a feeling deep inside his soul, a feeling that maybe he wanted this female human aboard The Empress, and maybe he needed her here to restore his ability to interact with the human race once again. It felt good not to be angry every second of the day.
Ronnie had the monitor in the kitchen watching the computer tuck Connie into bed. When she walked out of the bathroom and headed for her bed, Ronnie realized she was very naked. Ronnie smiled to himself and switched the monitor to the cargo bay. The computer spoke to him, “Ronnie, I provided pajamas for Connie to sleep in but she left them lying on the end of the bed, and is now sleeping without clothing.” Ronnie smiled, and then wondered if he had programmed a little too much masculinity into the computer, if it was now noticing the naked body of Connie. Ronnie spoke to the computer and acknowledged the missing pajamas, explaining to the computer that some humans do sleep in the nude, and it is a perfectly acceptable behavior.