The Misanthrope by Molière
ALCESTE. Yes, yes, I lost them when, to my misfortune, I beheld you and thus took the poison which kills me, and when I thought to meet with some sincerity in those treacherous charms that bewitched me. CÉLIMÈNE. Of what treachery have you to complain?
ALCESTE. Ah! how double-faced she is! how well she knows how to dissemble! But I am fully prepared with the means of driving her to extremities. Cast your eyes here and recognize your writing. This picked-up note is sufficient to confound you, and such proof cannot easily be refuted.
CÉLIMÈNE. And this is the cause of your perturbation of spirits?
ALCESTE. You do not blush on beholding this writing!
CÉLIMÈNE. And why should I blush?
ALCESTE. What! You add boldness to craft! Will you disown this note because it bears no name?
CÉLIMÈNE. Why should I disown it, since I wrote it?
ALCEST. And you can look at it without becoming confused at the crime of which its style accuses you!
CÉLIMÈNE. You are, in truth, a very eccentric man.
ALCESTE. What! You thus out-brave this convincing proof! And the contents so full of tenderness for Oronte, need have nothing in them to outrage me, or to shame you?
CÉLIMÈNE. Oronte! Who told you that this letter is for him?
ALCESTE. The people who put it into my hands this day. But I will even suppose that it is for some one else. Has my heart any less cause to complain of yours? Will you, in fact, be less guilty towards me?
CÉLIMÈNE. But if it is a woman to whom this letter is addressed, how can it hurt you, or what is there culpable in it?
ALCESTE. Hem! The prevarication is ingenious, and the excuse excellent. 1 must own that I did not expect this turn; and nothing but that was wanting to convince me. Do you dare to have recourse to such palpable tricks? Do you think people entirely destitute of common sense? Come, let us see a little by what subterfuge, with what air, you will support so palpable a falsehood; and how you can apply to a woman every word of this note which evinces so much tenderness! Reconcile, if you can, to hide your deceit, what I am about to read ...
CÉLIMÈNE. It does not suit me to do so. I think it ridiculous that you should take so much upon yourself, and tell me to my face what you have the daring to say to me!
ALCESTE. No, no, without flying into a rage, take a little trouble to explain these terms.
CÉLIMÈNE. No, I shall do nothing of the kind, and it matters very little to me what you think upon the subject.
ALCESTE. I pray you, show me, and I shall be satisfied, if this letter can be explained as meant for a woman.
CÉLIMÈNE. Not at all. It is for Oronte; and I will have you believe it. I accept all his attentions gladly; I admire what he says, I like him, and I shall agree to whatever you please. Do as you like, and act as you think proper; let nothing hinder you and do not harass me any longer.
ALCESTE. [Aside] Heavens! can anything more cruel be conceived, and was ever heart treated like mine? What! I am justly angry with her, I come to complain, and I am quarreled with instead! My grief and my suspicions are excited to the utmost, I am allowed to believe everything, she boasts of everything; and yet, my heart is still sufficiently mean not to be able to break the bonds that hold it fast, and not to arm itself with a generous contempt for the ungrateful object of which it is too much enamored. [To CÉLIMÈNE] Perfidious woman, you know well how to take advantage of my great weakness, and to employ for your own purpose that excessive, astonishing, and fatal love which your treacherous looks have inspired! Defend yourself at least from this crime that overwhelms me, and stop pretending to be guilty. Show me, if you can, that this letter is innocent; my affection will even consent to assist you. At any rate, endeavor to appear faithful, and I shall strive to believe you such.
CÉLIMÈNE. Bah, you are mad with your jealous frenzies, and do not deserve the love which I have for you. I should much like to know what could compel me to stoop for you to the baseness of dissembling ; and why, if my heart were disposed towards another, I should not say so candidly. What! does the kind assurance of my sentiments towards you not defend me sufficiently against all your suspicions? Ought they to possess any weight at all with such a guarantee? Is it not insulting me even to listen to them? And since it is with the utmost difficulty that we can resolve to confess our love, since the strict honor of our sex, hostile to our passion, strongly opposes such a confession, ought a lover who sees such an obstacle overcome for his sake, doubt with impunity our avowal? And is he not greatly to blame in not assuring himself of the truth of that which is never said but after a severe struggle with one’s self? Begone, such suspicions deserve my anger, and you are not worthy of being cared for. I am silly, and am vexed at my own simplicity in still preserving the least kindness for you. I ought to place my affections elsewhere, and give you a just cause for complaint.
ALCESTE. Ah! you traitress! mine is a strange infatuation for you; those tender expressions are, no doubt, meant only to deceive me. But it matters little, I must submit to my fate; my very soul is wrapt up in you; I will see to the bitter end how your heart will act towards me, and whether it will be black enough to deceive me.
CÉLIMÈNE. No, you do not love me as you ought to love.
ALCESTE. Indeed! Nothing is to be compared to my exceeding love; and, in its eagerness to show itself to the whole world, it goes even so far as to form wishes against you. Yes, I could wish that no one thought you handsome, that you were reduced to a miserable existence; that Heaven, at your birth, had bestowed upon you nothing; that you had no rank, no nobility, no wealth, so that I might openly proffer my heart, and thus make amends to you for the injustice of such a lot; and that, this very day, I might have the joy and the glory of seeing you owe everything to my love.
CÉLIMÈNE. This is wishing me well in a strange way! Heaven grant that you may never have occasion ... But here comes Monsieur Dubois curiously decked out.
SCENE IV.
CÉLIMÈNE, ALCESTE, DUBOIS.
ALCESTE. What means this strange attire, and that frightened look? What ails you?
DUBOIS. Sir . . .
ALCESTE. Well?
DUBOIS. The most mysterious event.
ALCESTE. What is it?
DUBOIS. Our affairs are turning out badly, sir.
ALCESTE. What?
DUBOIS. Shall I speak out?
ALCESTE. Yes, do, and quickly.
DUBOIS. Is there no one there?
ALCESTE. Curse your trifling! Will you speak?
DUBOIS. Sir, we must beat a retreat.
ALCESTE. What do you mean?
DUBOIS. We must steal away from this quietly.
ALCESTE. And why?
DUBOIS. I tell you that we must leave this place.
ALCESTE. The reason?
DUBOIS. You must go, sir, without staying to take leave.
ALCESTE. But what is the meaning of this strain?
DUBOIS. The meaning is, sir, that you must make yourself scarce.
ALCESTE. I shall knock you on the head to a certainty, booby, if you do not explain yourself more clearly.
DUBOIS. A fellow, sir, with a black dress, and as black a look, got as far as the kitchen to leave a paper with us, scribbled over in such a fashion that Old Nick himself could not have read it. It is about your law-suit, I make no doubt; but the very devil, I believe, could not make head nor tail of it.
ALCESTE. Well! what then? What has the paper to do with the going away of which you speak, you scoundrel?
DUBOIS. I must tell you, sir, that, about an hour afterwards, a gentleman who often calls, came to ask for you quite eagerly, and not finding you at home, quietly told me, knowing how attached I am to you, to let you know ... Stop a moment, what the deuce is his name?
ALCESTE. Never mind his name, you scoundrel, and tell me what he told you.
DUBOIS. He is one of your friends, in short, that is sufficient. He told me that for your very life you must get away from this, and that you are threatened with arrest
ALCESTE. But how! has he not specified anything?
DUBOIS. No. He asked me for ink and paper, and has sent you a line from which you can, I think, fathom the mystery!
ALCESTE. Hand it over then.
CÉLIMÈNE. What can all this mean?
ALCESTE. I do not know; but I am anxious to be informed. Have you almost done, devil take you?
DUBOIS. [After having fumbled for some time for the note] After all, sir, I have left it on your table.
ALCESTE. I do not know what keeps me from . . .
CÉLIMÈNE. Do not put yourself in a passion, but go and unravel this perplexing business.
ALCESTE. It seems that fate, whatever I may do, has sworn to prevent my having a conversation with you. But, to get the better of her, allow me to see you again, Madam, before the end of the day.
ACT V
SCENE I.
ALCESTE, PHILINTE.
ALCESTE. I tell you, my mind is made up about it.
PHILINTE. But, whatever this blow may be, does it compel you ...
ALCESTE. You may talk and argue till doomsday if you like, nothing can avert me from what I have said. The age we live in is too perverse, and I am determined to withdraw altogether from intercourse with the world. What! when honor, probity, decency, and the laws are all against my adversary; when the equity of my claim is everywhere cried up; when my mind is at rest as to the justice of my cause, I meanwhile see myself betrayed by its issue! What! I have got justice on my side, and I lose my case! A wretch, whose scandalous history is well known, comes off triumphant by the blackest falsehood! All good faith yields to his treachery! He finds the means of being in the right, whilst cutting my throat! The weight of his dissimulation, so full of cunning, overthrows the right and turns the scales of justice! He obtains even a decree of court to crown his villainy. And, not content with the wrong he is doing me, there is abroad in society an abominable book, of which the very reading is to be condemned, a book that deserves the utmost severity, and of which the scoundrel has the impudence to proclaim me the author. Upon this, Oronte is observed to mutter, and tries wickedly to support the imposture! He, who holds an honorable position at court, to whom I have done nothing without having been sincere and candid, who came to ask me in spite of myself of my opinion of some of his verses; and because I treat him honestly, and will not betray either him or truth, he assists in overwhelming me with a trumped-up crime. Behold him now my greatest enemy! And I shall never obtain his sincere forgiveness, because I did not think that his sonnet was good! ’Sdeath! to think that mankind is made thus! The thirst for fame induces them to do such things! This is the good faith, the virtuous zeal, the justice and the honor to be found amongst them! Let us begone; it is too much to endure the vexations they are devising; let us get out of this wood, this cut-throat hole; and since men behave towards each other like real wolves, wretches, you shall never see me again as long as I live.
PHILINTE. I think you are acting somewhat hastily; and the harm done is not so great as you would make it out. Whatever your adversary dares to impute to you has not had the effect of causing you to be arrested. We see his false reports defeating themselves, and this action is likely to hurt him much more than you.
ALCESTE. Him? he does not mind the scandal of such tricks as these. He has a license to be an arrant knave; and this event, far from damaging his position, will obtain him a still better standing tomorrow.
PHILINTE. In short, it is certain that little notice has been taken of the report which his malice spread against you; from that side you have already nothing to fear; and as for your law-suit, of which you certainly have reason to complain, it is easy for you to bring the trial on afresh, and against this decision . . .
ALCESTE. No, I shall leave it as it is. Whatever cruel wrong this verdict may inflict, I shall take particular care not to have it set aside. We see too plainly how right is maltreated in it, and I wish to go down to posterity as a signal proof, as a notorious testimony of the wickedness of the men of our age. It may indeed cost me twenty thousand francs, but at the cost of twenty thousand francs I shall have the right of railing against the iniquity of human nature, and of nourishing an undying hatred of it.
PHILINTE. But after all . . .
ALCESTE. But after all, your pains are thrown away. What can you, sir, say upon this head? Would you have the assurance to wish, to my face, to excuse the villainy of all that is happening?
PHILINTE. No, I agree with you in all that you say. Everything goes by intrigue, and by pure influence. It is only trickery which carries the day in our time, and men ought to act differently. But is their want of equity a reason for wishing to withdraw from their society? All human failings give us, in life, the means of exercising our philosophy. It is the best employment for virtue; and if probity reigned everywhere, if all hearts were candid, just, and tractable, most of our virtues would be useless to us, inasmuch as their functions are to bear, without annoyance, the injustice of others in our good cause; and just in the same way as a heart full of virtue . . .
ALCESTE. I know that you are a most fluent speaker, sir; that you always abound in fine arguments; but you are wasting your time, and all your fine speeches. Reason tells me to retire for my own good. I cannot command my tongue sufficiently; I cannot answer for what I might say, and should very probably get myself into a hundred scrapes. Allow me, without any more words, to wait for Célimène. She must consent to the plan that brings me here. I shall see whether her heart has any love for me; and this very hour will prove it to me.
PHILINTE. Let us go upstairs to Eliante, and wait her coming.
ALCESTE. No, my mind is too harassed. You go and see her, and leave me in this little dark corner with my black care.
PHILINTE. That is strange company to leave you in; I will induce Eliante to come down.
SCENE II.
CÉLIMÈNE, ORONTE, ALCESTE.
ORONTE. Yes, Madam, it remains for you to consider whether, by ties so dear, you will make me wholly yours. I must be absolutely certain of your affection: A lover dislikes to be held in suspense upon such a subject. If the ardor of my affection has been able to move your feelings, you ought not to hesitate to let me see it; and the proof, after all, which I ask of you, is not to allow Alceste to wait upon you any longer; to sacrifice him to my love, and, in short, to banish him from your house this very day.
CÉLIMÈNE. But why are you so incensed against him; you, whom I have so often heard speak of his merits?
ORONTE. There is no need, Madam, of these explanations; the question is, what are your feelings? Please to choose between the one or the other; my resolution depends entirely upon yours.
ALCESTE. [Coming out of his corner] Yes, this gentleman is right, Madam, you must make a choice; and his request agrees perfectly with mine. I am equally eager, and the same anxiety brings me here. My love requires a sure proof. Things cannot go on any longer in this way, and the moment has arrived for explaining your feelings.
ORONTE. I have no wish, sir, in any way to disturb, by an untimely affection, your good fortune.
ALCESTE. And I have no wish, sir, jealous or not jealous, to share aught in her heart with you.
ORONTE. If she prefers your affection to mine ...
ALCESTE. If she has the slightest inclination towards you ...
ORONTE. I swear henceforth not to pretend to it again.
ALCESTE. I peremptorily swear never to see her again.
ORONTE. Madam, it remains with you now to speak openly.
ALCESTE,. Madam, you can explain yourself fearlessly.
ORONTE,. You have simply to tell us where your feelings are engaged.
ALCESTE. You may simply finish the matter, by choosing between us two.
ORONTE,. What! you seem to be at a loss to make such a choice.
ALCESTE. What! your heart still wavers, and appears uncertain!
CÉLIMÈNE. Good Heavens, how out of place is this persistence, and how very unreasonable you both
ORONTE,. No, no, I do not fear a frank avowal; for my part I consent to it.
ALCESTE. And I demand it; it is just its very publicity that I claim, and I do not wish you to spare my feelings in the least. Your great study has always been to keep friends with everyone; but no more trifling, no more uncertainty. You must explain yourself clearly, or I shall take your refusal as a verdict; I shall know, for my part, how to interpret your silence, and shall consider it as a confirmation of the worst.
ORONTE. I owe you many thanks, sir, for this wrath, and I say in every respect as you do.