The Rocker Who Wants Me (The Rocker... Series) by Terri Anne Browning
“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” she demanded. “I could have gotten you out of half this shit. Damn it, Axton. We need to communicate a little better. Family before anything else. Understand?”
“Yeah, Em.” I glanced at my watch. Damn it. I had to be over at stage two with Gabriella in five minutes. “Can you get me out of this?”
“If you had left me with more than a few minutes, of course I could have. But she’s already been on stage for thirty minutes, dumbass. As much as I would love to make her look like an idiot, my professionalism won’t let me.” Emmie punched me in the arm. “Go on. I’ll check on Dallas and see if she needs anything.” When I started to open my mouth to tell her to text me she cut me off. “Don’t worry. I’ll call you, but I’m sure she’s fine.”
Dropping a kiss on Emmie’s cheek, I headed off to do the one thing I hoped Dallas didn’t find out about today. I was feeling guilty about keeping it from her and I hadn’t even done anything wrong.
By the time I reached the second stage it was nearly time for Gabriella and her band to pack it up so that the next band could start setting up. I climbed the stairs and moved to the side of the stage so she could see me as she finished her last song.
As the last notes of her violin filled the air and the fans went crazy screaming her name, she left the stage glaring at me hard. “Where the fuck have you been?”
“I’ve had other shit to deal with today, Brie. You aren’t my only obligation. Just be thankful I’m here at all,” I snapped and she shut her mouth but continued to glare at me. I rolled my eyes. “We doing this or not?”
“You’re such a fucking douchebag, Ax.”
“Tell me something I haven’t heard yet, sweetheart. Now get your little ass out there and let’s do this or I’m gonna take care of something a million times more important than you and this bullshit.” My days of putting anything other than Dallas first were over. This was the last time I ever let something else stand in my way of my girl.
Still glaring at me, she shot me the finger before going back onto the stage where her band was waiting patiently and the fans were screaming for more. “One more song!” she screamed and the crowd started yelling in agreement. “This is something that I wrote a few years ago and has a special place in my heart.”
I rolled my eyes again, knowing that the crowd was going to be thinking that the song was about me and her. It was what all the paps had reported when the song had first gotten popular and neither of us had ever corrected them.
A roadie handed me a microphone and I waited where I was while Gabriella started with her violin. I didn’t have to step in until a third of the way in to the song so I tapped my foot to the beat so that I didn’t get lost in my own thoughts. When I finally stepped out onto the stage, singing along with Gabriella, the fans went crazy and I had to adjust my earpieces so that I didn’t go deaf from them alone.
Normally when I would perform this song with Gabriella like this, we would stand close and look at each other. Not happening today. I worked the stage, reaching out to shake hands with a few of the male fans standing close to the stage, which had a fence and security guards standing between them. Some chick handed me a red rose and I blew her a kiss and winked at her before turning back toward the other side of the stage.
The song was nearly over when I glanced out across the sea of fans and saw Liam standing in the crowd. He was watching Gabriella closely, but she was in the moment, her violin like an extinction to her arm the way she was playing so effortlessly. When I glanced back at Liam he was walking away, but I saw a slight hunch to his shoulders and grimaced.
Fucking chicks were going to be the end of my band and there was nothing I could do about it.
Dallas
My stomach was starting to feel better, but my mind wouldn’t fucking shut up. The nurse in me was going over my symptoms and trying to figure out what had brought on the sudden nausea that had left me vomiting most of the afternoon.
I wasn’t one to get sick easily. In my line of work you had to have a strong stomach and I prided myself on having the strongest. I’d seen guts spill out of a person onto the ER floor for the love of God. I could count the times I’d had a stomach virus in my entire life on one hand. This wasn’t a stomach bug, though. Nausea was all that I had.
So I had to start thinking about what else had been going on in my life lately that could have made me be sick the way I had been. As I stood in the shower, washing some vomit from my hair because Linc had been a little slow to pull my hair out of my way as I was retching the first time, I started adding them up as I mentally checked out my body.
My breasts had been tender lately. More so than I was used to before a period, which was due to start in a few days. I’d been having headaches on and off lately but just put that down to the change in the seasons and a sign of sinus issues. I was feeling bloated a lot since my last period… Which hadn’t been as heavy as I was used to…
With a groan, I hit my head against the wall of the shower stall. Once. Twice. The third time didn’t knock any sense into me so I stopped. I should have listened to that bitchy voice the first time she’d opened her mouth. But what had I done? Told her to fuck off.
All because I didn’t want Axton to wear a condom the first time. And ever since that first time without, I’d asked him to do it again and again. I’d been keeping up with my menstrual cycle to make sure that it was always a safe time to go without a condom, but Mother Nature wasn’t always spot on and loved throwing curve balls into the loop. That fucking bitch.
Could I be pregnant?
A million things flashed through my mind all at once with that one question. Was I ready to be a parent? Did I want to have a kid with Axton Cage? Had I gotten pregnant on purpose to trap the man I loved?
Then there was the one question that broke my heart, not because it affected me or Axton or even the possible baby I could be carrying…
What was this going to do to Harper?
My best friend was destroyed because she had found out she might never have a child of her own. Here I was, unsure how I even felt about the mere possibility of being pregnant, while she might never experience even the joy of a child growing inside of her. My hand went to my flat stomach and my heart clenched. Damn it, it wasn’t fair.
Swallowing hard I turned the water off, stepped out and dried in a rush. After pulling fresh clothes on I practically ran through the bus. Nik, Mia and Linc were still sitting where I had left them ten minutes ago, but Emmie was now sitting beside Nik with her feet in his lap.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Emmie asked, concern in her big green eyes.
“Um…” I didn’t know how to answer that question. If it were just Linc there I would have blurted out what I thought was wrong with me. I might have even done it if it were just Emmie and Linc, but not with Nik and Mia there too. It didn’t feel right to say something to Nik before I told Axton. “I need to go to the store for a few things, but I’m feeling better.”
“Give me a list and I’ll have one of the roadies go to the store for you,” Emmie assured me.
“No!” There was no fucking way I was sending a roadie to the store for a pregnancy test. Or six. “It will be better if I do it myself. I know exactly what I need. I thought I saw a drugstore on the corner a few blocks over so I thought I would just walk over… And hey, I’m sorry I didn’t make it over to the medic tent to relieve them.”
Emmie’s eyes were narrowed on me, but she shrugged. “No biggie. You weren’t feeling well, so they can suck it for all I care. I’ll arrange for a car to take you wherever you need to go, Dallas. And take someone with you. It will make Ax freak out less when I tell him you left for supplies.”
My gaze went straight to Linc and he stood without hesitation. “Let’s go.”
By the time we got out the gates, a car was waiting for us already. I told the driver to take me to the closest drugstore. Linc and I were both quiet as we rode. He kept shooting me concerned g
In the drugstore, the feminine products were down the same aisle as the pregnancy tests. Linc didn’t say a word until I passed the row of tampons that he knew I usually used. I kept my eyes down as I kept walking and he started cursing under his breath. Tears blurred my vision as I stopped in front of the tests and picked up two different brands. I took them both and picked up another one. I knew that one was all that I needed, but hey, I wanted to make sure.
The woman at the counter didn’t even question me as I placed the tests on the counter. She glanced at Linc a few times, licked her lips twice then handed me my change. I cleared my throat, getting rid of some of the tears still clogging my vocals. “Do you have a bathroom I can use?”
“Sure thing, honey. It’s all the way in the back near the pharmacy. Take your time.”
I nodded my head jerkily and headed for it. Without a word, Linc followed me into the women’s room and we locked the door. He leaned against the wall, and I sat and peed on all three sticks before setting them on the top of the toilet paper dispenser. With a sigh I washed my hands then sat back down on the closed toilet seat. It didn’t bother me that Linc had just watched me pee. This man had been with me through a lot worse things than watching me use the bathroom.
My chin started trembling because normally it wasn’t just him that went through things this major with me. I missed Harper and ached to call her with each second that passed. If it were anything else I would call her right now and she would stay on the phone with me until I knew for sure. But this would hurt her in a way I wasn’t sure I could handle. I knew she would be strong and would be there for me no matter what, but I couldn’t do that to her. Not yet.
“Has it been three minutes yet?” I whispered and Linc checked his watch before nodding. He’d read the boxes as I had opened each one and knew that it would take at least three minutes to get any results.
I glanced at the three sticks then back down at my hands. Linc pushed away from the wall and crouched down in front of me. With his left hand he reached for one of the sticks while his right caught mine and our fingers entwined, telling me without words that no matter what he had my back.
My eyes closed, too much of a coward to look. My stomach was starting to protest again because the bathroom was warm and smelled of cleaning chemicals. “Dallas? Do you want a kid?”
It was the question I had been expecting him to ask from the moment that I picked up the pregnancy tests, but he had held it in until now. I didn’t know what answer I would have given him if he had asked me before I had peed on those sticks, but the last three minutes I’d been thinking hard about it. Part of me was beyond terrified of the simple possibility. But another part, a part that was getting bigger and bigger by the minute, was kind of excited about the idea of a baby.
“Maybe,” I whispered, opening my eyes and meeting his calm gaze.
A small smile tilted his lips. “Okay, let’s check what the results are, then. Together.”
“This will hurt Harper…”
Linc grimaced. “A little, but she loves you. She will be more happy than hurt, I promise. Now look at the freaking stick, woman. As much as I love you I’m tired of touching your piss.”
Sticking my tongue out at him I took the stick and finally glanced down at it. When I saw the results, I grabbed the next test, and then the next. My heart stopped for a moment, then started up at twice its normal speed. Thinking something and then having the proof whether or not it was true in front of your face were two different things.
And here was my proof.
I wasn’t pregnant.
The disappointment that washed over me was something I wasn’t expecting. New tears spilled from my eyes and I blinked them away as fast as I could. Images of a little boy who was a mixture of me and Axton vanished in a puff of smoke and I felt like I’d just lost something incredibly special. “But… I was sure.”
“It’s negative?” Linc took the tests from me then looked at the boxes again to confirm. “It says it could take up to five minutes on this one, Dallas. Maybe we should just wait a little longer.”
I shook my head, letting the new tears fall. “No. It’s okay. I’m not pregnant. I-I probably just have a little bit of a bug.”
“I’m getting you another test.” He stood and left the bathroom before I could say another word, leaving me alone with a pain that I’d never felt before. Was this what Harper had felt when the doctors had told her she wasn’t going to have her own baby? My heart broke all over again for my friend.
Linc was back in less than two minutes and shoving two more tests at me. “Take them,” he commanded and picked up the three tests I’d already taken.
I didn’t feel up to arguing so I peed on two more sticks. As soon as I was done I washed my hands again, but I didn’t want to wait around for the results this time when I knew that it would just make me more depressed. “I just want to go back to the bus and go to bed.”
“Dallas, wait.” Linc stopped me as I opened the door. “Just look at the tests again. For me. If nothing changes I’ll throw these other two tests away and we can forget this ever happened. Okay?”
“Linc…”
“Just one look, Dallas. It won’t hurt anything. One little look.” He held out the three sticks and I reluctantly took them. “Look at them.”
The trip to the drugstore took longer than expected. By the time we got back to the arena it was getting dark. Glancing at my phone I saw that it was less than an hour before OtherWorld went on stage. I also had five missed text messages from Axton and one from Emmie.
I didn’t know what to say to either of them in a text so I ignored the messages and put my phone away. I was still an emotional mess and I had thrown up twice while I had taken three more tests before we had left the drugstore. Just to be sure.
Linc was with me every step of the walk back to the bus where I changed clothes again because I’d gotten vomit on my shirt. When I was clean I went searching for Axton. Knowing that he would probably be with Emmie getting the stage set up for the closing show tonight I headed straight for the main stage.
But I didn’t get past the second line of buses before I saw Axton. My heart leapt at the sight of him standing there talking with Liam. As I walked closer I saw that they weren’t alone. Gabriella was with them and she was visibly upset. She had tears streaming down her face and she was spitting Italian out fast and feverishly.
Liam just stood there and watched her with what appeared to be dead eyes at first glance with the light of the street lamps that were starting to come on, but at a closer look just masked what he was feeling. I was pretty sure he didn’t understand half of what she was screaming at him, because I sure as hell didn’t understand a word.
“I just want to be with you!” Gabriella switched to English on those last words, her small body shaking with emotion.
I stopped, not wanting to interrupt the emotional moment. I might not like the chick, but I wasn’t going to embarrass her right then. Liam flinched then shrugged his shoulders like the douchebag I’d assumed he was the first time I’d met him, but now knew that he wasn’t. “I don’t want to be with you, Brie. Move on. I already have.”
“You don’t mean that, Liam. You can’t.”
“Go, Brie. You’re just making a fool of yourself. We don’t belong together, we never did. Go home and live the life you’re supposed to lead without me there to mess it up for you.” He turned, ready to walk away—or limp away in his case.
“What the fuck do you mean, the life I’m supposed to lead? I don’t have a life without you.” Liam kept walking and her tears fell faster. “Liam, don’t,” she pleaded brokenly.
His shoulders stiffened, but he kept walking. I remained where I was as I watched Axton’s reaction to what looked like the end of Liam and Gabriella. His gaze followed Liam as he walked away, his jaw clenched as if
With a sob Gabriella threw herself against Axton’s chest. He hadn’t been expecting it and stumbled back a few steps before he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. The sight was like a stab to the heart. As I’d stood there, my heart in my throat, I’d been waiting for it to happen. For one of them to wrap their arms around each other. But fuck, now that I was actually seeing it I wanted to wipe that picture from my mind. It hurt too much to watch him comfort her.
My hurt at seeing them like this, on top of all the other emotional bullshit I’d gone through in the last few hours, brought out the bitch in me. It was my coping mechanism that had never failed me before, so I let her out with a vengeance. Clearing my throat loudly, I took the last few steps that would bring me into Axton’s line of sight.
As soon as he saw me he seemed to jerk as if he’d been stabbed, and took two steps back from a still sobbing Gabriella who tried to cling. He shoved her hands away and stepped around her. “It’s not what you think, I swear.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I saw. Liam broke the troll bitch’s heart, so she threw herself at you. And of course you were all too willing to offer comfort. Seems like a pattern. One I’m getting pretty fucking tired of.”
“No,” Axton said, shaking his head. “I wasn’t comforting her. Damn it, she just threw herself against me. I didn’t want her to fall.”
“I’m sure. Why should she fall when big, strong Axton Cage is always willing to catch her? It’s what happened the first time around, then again back in October, so I should be used to it. Right?” I glanced over his shoulder to find that Gabriella was walking away. Her shoulders were still shaking with her sobs, but she didn’t give two shits that she had just ripped my heart apart.
That bitch knew that Axton would drop anything and everything if she wanted him to. She didn’t care that when he did that it was a slap to my face, my pride. My fucking heart. And it was always going to be that way, because Axton Cage was in love with her, not me. I was nothing to him and I would never mean as much to him as she did.