The School for Good and Evil by Soman Chainani
High above, in a rotted tower, a mob of fifty Nevers shoved aside the last furniture and ripped out the final nail of Room 66. With a savage roar, they kicked down its door and recoiled in shock.
A shriveled, hideous hag looked back at them in a luscious pink ball gown. She rubbed her gleaming bald head and flashed her blackened gums.
“Let me guess,” Sophie smiled. “Our party has unexpected guests.”
29
Beautiful Evil
Agatha’s eyes flashed open to a shock of glacial cold. She was on her back, sealed in a frosted glass coffin. Dozens of blurry silhouettes loomed over her. Panicked, she lurched up, but her body was frozen.
It wasn’t glass. It was ice.
She tried to inhale more air, but gagged. Her eyes bulged, her cheeks went blue. . . . Then the dark shadows parted and a pink specter floated through. With her tongue, Agatha breathlessly wiped frost clear. Sophie, bald and grotesque, smiled down at her, a Doom Room axe in her hands. As Agatha took her dying breaths, her eyes pleaded for mercy. Sophie gazed at her through ice, ran her fingers over Agatha’s entombed face . . . and raised the axe.
Somewhere Hester screamed.
The axe smashed through ice, shattering the tomb, and stopped a hair from Agatha’s face. She plunged to wet floor, heaving for breath.
“Freezing a poor princess?” Sophie sighed. “That’s no way to treat a guest, Hester.”
“The arrows—it was you—” Agatha stammered, crawling back. “You brought me here—to kill me—”
“Kill you?” Sophie looked hurt. “You think I can kill you?”
Across the room, Agatha saw Hester huddled with Anadil and Dot, gawking at their once roommate, now a bald, shriveled hag.
“Truth is I want to hurt you, Agatha,” Sophie said, melting the axe away with a glowing finger. “But I just can’t.”
She studied her rotted face in a balloon. “My behavior last night was poor.”
“Poor?” Agatha coughed. “You pushed me through a window!”
“Wouldn’t you have done the same?” Sophie said, peering at Agatha’s blue gown in the balloon. “If I took everything that was yours?”
Sophie turned, pink gown glimmering. “But this is your fairy tale, Agatha. And either we end it as enemies or we end it as friends.”
“F-ffriends?” Agatha sputtered.
“The School Master said it was impossible. And perhaps both of us thought him right.” Sophie said, skin crackling around warts. “But how could he ever understand us?”
Agatha recoiled in disgust.
Sophie nodded. “I’m ugly now,” she agreed softly. “But I can be happy here, Agatha. I really can. We’re where we belong. You’re Good. I’m Evil.”
Her eyes drifted around the decorated Hall.
“But Evil can be beautiful, can’t it?”
Torchlight flooded the windows. “Sophie, Evers at the gates!” Anadil shouted, looking out—
“Revenge,” Agatha said, quivering. “You said you wanted revenge.”
“How else to lure Good here, Agatha?” Sophie said sadly. “How else to show them all we wanted was a Ball of our own?”
“Sophie, they’re coming!” Dot screamed. Beneath their feet, Evers rammed the castle doors.
“But now we’ll end all of this, won’t we?” Sophie said, drawing a gnarled fist from her dress pocket.
Agatha’s eyes widened. Something was in her hand.
“SHE’S UPSTAIRS!” The Evers had broken in.
“Agatha,” Sophie said, prowling towards her, fist tight.
“KILL THE WITCH!” Evers cried, storming up the stairs.
Sophie reached out her spotted fist.
“My friend . . . my Nemesis . . .”
Agatha cringed. Sophie unfurled her bare palm—
And sank to one knee.
“Will you dance with me?”
Agatha lost her breath.
BOOM! Evers bashed the hall doors.
“Sophie, what are you doing!” Hester screamed.
Sophie held out her withered hand to Agatha.
“We’ll show them it’s over.”
The doors splintered.
“One dance for peace,” Sophie vowed.
“Sophie, they’ll kill us all!” Hester shrieked—
Sophie kept her hand out. “One dance for a happy ending, Aggie.”
Paralyzed, Agatha looked at her, as the door locks shattered.
Sophie’s warts gleamed with tears. “One dance to save my life.”
“On three!” Tedros roared outside—
Sophie gazed up at Agatha with wide coal eyes. “It’s me, Aggie. Can’t you see?”
Shivering, Agatha searched her ugly face.
“One!”
“Agatha, please . . .”
Agatha stepped back, terrified.
“Please . . .” Sophie begged, face cracking. “Don’t let me die a villain.”
Agatha shrank away from her. “You’re Evil—”
“And the Good forgive.”
Agatha froze.
“Aren’t you Good?” Sophie breathed.
“Two!”
With a gasp, Agatha clasped her hand.
Sophie wrapped bony arms around her and pulled her in a gliding waltz across the floor. At Hester’s frantic cue, Ravan’s bunk mates struck up a wobbly love song.
“You are Good,” Sophie panted, head on Agatha’s shoulder.
“I won’t let them hurt you,” Agatha whispered, holding Sophie tight.
Sophie touched her cheek. “I wish I could say the same.”
Agatha looked at her. Sophie smiled darkly.
“Three!”
Tedros smashed through the doors at the charge of his mob and, with a beastly cry, raised his sword over Sophie’s back—
“Death to the wi—”
Then he saw the waltz in full bloom.
Sophie twirled to him, Agatha in her arms. Tedros dropped his sword.
“Poor Teddy,” Sophie said, silencing the music. “Every time he finds his princess, turns out she’s a witch.”
Tedros looked at Agatha, stunned. “You’re with . . . her?”
“She’s lying!” Agatha screamed, flailing to break Sophie’s grip—
“How do you think she survived her fall? Why do you think she tried to stop your attack?” Sophie said, hugging her tighter. “Yes, Teddy, I’m afraid your Ball date is also mine.”
Tedros followed Sophie’s eyes to the banner over the hall. Evers bleached behind him.
“Don’t listen to her!” Agatha shrieked. “It’s a trap!”
“Agatha, it’s okay, darling. You can tell him,” Sophie said. She turned to Tedros, exasperated. “She wanted to wait until she had a sword to your throat.”
Tedros looked at Agatha, eyes wide.
“It isn’t true!” she cried. “I have proof!” She swiveled. “Hester! Dot! Tell them!”
But Hester, Dot, and the rest of the Nevers were glaring at the Good army, wielding deadly weapons for a massacre. Hester looked back at Agatha and said nothing.
Agatha saw the light in her prince’s eyes dim. Behind him, armed Evers turned their weapons from Sophie to her.
“No! Wait!” She broke free and fell into Tedros’ arms. “You have to believe me! I’m on your side!”
“Really!” Sophie mused. “Then how is it that your prince locked you in one tower . . . and here you are in another?”
Agatha felt Tedros’ arms harden. She looked up to his bloodless face.
“Answer her,” he said.
“I came to help you—I climbed down—”
“Climbed!” Sophie cackled. “Down that tower!”
Tedros followed her eyes to the sky-high spires of Good.
“There were a-a-arrows—” Agatha stuttered—
“I don’t know why she’s being so bashful,” Sophie said, scratching her head. “She came up with every step. The pranks on Good, your meeting in the Woods, the Circus attack . .
Agatha couldn’t breathe.
“Only the best Evil can disguise as Good,” Sophie said, glaring at her. “Agatha’s even better at it than I.”
Eyes wide, Tedros pulled away from Agatha.
“Princesses wouldn’t question my authority,” he said, glowing red.
“Teddy, wait—” Agatha begged—
“Princesses wouldn’t question if I was a man.”
“Look what she’s doing to you—”
“I knew you were a witch,” he said, voice cracking. “I knew it all along.”
“Don’t you trust me?” Agatha wept.
“My mother asked my father the same question,” Tedros said, battling tears. “But I won’t make his mistake.”
His eyes darted to Excalibur between him and her. The prince lunged for it but Agatha grabbed the sword first and leapt to her feet, thrusting out. Evers pulled weapons in horror.
“See?” Sophie grinned. “Sword to throat.”
Agatha looked at her, then at Tedros, staring at his own sword in his face. She dropped it. “No! I was just—I didn’t mean to—”
Tedros swelled with blood.
“Prepare to attack!”
Agatha backed up. “Tedros, listen to me!”
Tedros grabbed Chaddick’s bow—
“Tedros, wait—”
“I’m worse than my father.” Tedros looked up, eyes glistening. “Because I still love you.”
He pulled an arrow at her heart.
“No!” Agatha screamed—
“Fire!”
Evers launched stones, darts, oil at the defenseless Nevers as Tedros unleashed his arrow for Agatha—
Sophie flicked her lit finger just as it speared her chest. The weapons all turned to daisies and floated to the ground.
Cowering Nevers looked up, stunned to be alive. Hunched amid them, Agatha slowly turned.
“Learned that from my favorite princess,” Sophie said softly.
Agatha crumpled to the ground in sobs.
Tedros glanced between them, dread flooding his face. Sophie unleashed a devilish smile.
“Never very good at those challenges, were you, Teddy?”
“No!” Tedros fell to his knees, grabbed weeping Agatha in his arms. She pushed him away.
“Now that’s an ending. Prince tries to kill his princess,” Sophie reveled. She picked up the daisy meant for Agatha’s heart and gave it a rapturous sniff. “Lucky Evil was here to save the day.”
From the floor, Tedros gazed up at her, heartbroken.
“Which begs the question, of course . . .” Sophie licked rotting lips.
“What happens when Evil becomes Good?”
This time, when she smiled, Tedros saw gleaming white teeth. He backed up in shock.
In front of his eyes, Sophie’s warts magically sloughed, her deep wrinkles smoothed, until her creamy peach skin glowed with youth. Her hair blossomed out of her shiny skull in a cascade of blond ringlets, and her lips thickened with juicy sheen. Agatha slowly peeked through her hands to see Sophie’s eyes blaze emerald green, her shriveled body bloom, until the grand villainess loomed over her in her pink ball gown, more radiant and ravishing than ever before.
“Leave—Leave now—” Agatha warned, but the Evers were all paralyzed, staring past Sophie.
Cringing, Agatha turned.
Hester looked back at her, dress now pink. Magically her thin hair sprouted to long thick tresses, her sallow face gained fullness, her tattoo restored to magnificent red. Next to her, Anadil’s white hair went chestnut brown, her red eyes sea green, while Dot’s rotund body grew hourglass curves. In reflective balloons, Hort watched his jaw square, his chin dimple, his dumpy black robes melt to a blue Everboy coat. Ravan saw his oily skin clear, Brone lifted his shirt to see rippling muscles, Arachne ran fingers over two new eyes, Mona touched smooth ivory skin . . . until all around, transformed villains gaped at each other in Good’s uniforms.
Sophie grinned down at Agatha. “I told you Evil can be beautiful, didn’t I?”
“Retreat!” Tedros yelled, backing into his army.
“We’re not finished, Teddy,” Sophie thundered. “You and your army invaded a Ball. You and your army attacked a defenseless school. You and your army tried to kill a room of poor students, trying to enjoy the happiest night of our lives. Which leaves another question . . .”
“Retreat now!” Tedros cried—
“What happens when Good becomes Evil?”
Screams exploded behind Tedros.
Agatha swiveled to see Beatrix screech with pain as her back hunched with a crack. Then her hair went white, her face pockmarked to an old crone’s, and her pink dress sagged to black over shriveled bones.
Behind her, all the Evers’ gowns and suits slowly rotted to Evil’s black smocks. Chaddick grew metal spikes all over his body, Millicent sobbed as her skin turned green, Reena shrieked and itched at her scab-covered cheeks, Nicholas staggered around, one-eyed and humped. One by one, the Evers who attacked the villains all turned ugly, Agatha the only one immune from punishment . . . until at last Sophie leered back at Tedros, bald, scrawny, hideously scarred, in front of his army of villains.
“All hail the Prince!” she cackled.
Beautiful Nevers pointed at the ugly Evers and joined her in a chorus of triumphant laughter, annihilating a legacy of defeat.
Agatha grabbed a fallen sword and pointed it at Sophie. “Your war is with me! Let them go in peace!”
“By all means, darling,” Sophie smiled. “The doors are open.”
The repulsive Evers flooded for them. All except shriveled, scraggy Tedros, now blocking their way.
“Please, Teddy. End this war,” Agatha pleaded.
“I can’t leave you,” the prince croaked.
Agatha looked into his sad, beastly eyes.
“This time you have to trust me.”
Tedros shook his head, too ashamed to fight—
“Retreat!” he choked to his school. “Retreat now!”
With an anguished cry, he led the monstrous Evers for the doors. The doors slammed in their faces.
“All of you should really learn your rules,” Sophie sighed.
Tedros and his army turned, trembling.
“The Evil attack, the Good defend,” Sophie said. “You attacked . . .” She smiled. “Now we defend.”
She sang three high notes. Agatha suddenly heard grunting outside, louder, louder, until her eyes bulged with recognition.
“RUN!” she screamed—
The doors burst open and three colossal rats smashed into Tedros’ paralyzed army, Grimm at their reins. The snarling, shrieking rats, big as horses, bucked fleeing Evers into walls, knocked them down stairs, hurled them through the glass window into the moat below. Before Valor boys could draw their swords, the rats trampled them like toy soldiers.
“And here I thought my talents would go unnoticed,” Anadil said to Dot, gobsmacked. A thorn dart whizzed between them. The girls turned to see Tedros and ugly Evers frantically grab weapons.
“Fire!” Tedros howled.
Dot dove from a hail of arrows as beautiful Nevers fought back with curses and the two schools clashed in weapon-to-spell combat. As darts flew, swords deflected lightning, and fingers on both sides lit up with colors, the rats ripped free from Grimm’s reins, flinging Ava into a chandelier, gashing a bite into Nicholas’ back. Grimm swiftly took flight and hunted Agatha through the hall with flame-tipped arrows. She sprang behind a pillar, pointed her glowing finger just as he let one fly. The arrow turned to a flytrap and snapped on yowling Grimm’s hand. Agatha swiveled to see hideous Beatrix, Reena, and Millicent quailing next to her.
“If you can turn arrows to flowers,” Beatrix said tearfully, “can you turn us pretty again too?”
Agatha ignored her and peeked from behind the pillar into the roaring car
Agatha whipped to the girls. “We have to help them!”
“There’s no point,” Millicent mewled.
“Look at us,” said Reena.
“We have nothing to fight for,” Beatrix sniffled.
“You have Good to fight for!” Agatha cried as rats devoured the boys’ weapons. “It doesn’t matter how you look!”
“Easy for you to say,” said Beatrix. “You’re still pretty.”
“Our towers aren’t Fair and Lovely!” Agatha lambasted. “They’re Valor and Honor! That’s what Good is, you stupid cowards!”
They gaped dumbly as Agatha surged into battle, dashing to save the boys from the rats. Something slammed into her and flung her into a wall.
Dazed, Agatha looked up to see Sophie astride the biggest rat of all, charging for her again. Agatha tried to find a spell too late—
Beatrix jumped in front of the rat and thrust out her hand. Magical rain burst from the ceiling, soaking the floor. The rat slipped, careened into attacking Nevers, and Sophie crashed to the floor.
“Another thing about Good.” Beatrix smiled at Agatha, with Reena, and Millicent by her sides. “We need each other.”
Sophie looked up to see the Evers finding their courage to beat back the toppled Nevers. Chaddick used his body’s spikes to ram a rat through the heart, Tedros scaled another’s tail to stab its neck, while the Evers bound the cowing Nevers with their black tunics and belts—
Suddenly her own hands and feet were bound magically with vines.
“You forget we’re in a fairy tale,” a voice said behind her.
Struggling, Sophie turned to Agatha standing over her, finger glowing.
“In the end, Good always wins,” Agatha said.
Sophie slackened against her binds.
“And so it does,” she said, gazing back at Agatha.
Then Agatha saw Sophie wasn’t looking at her at all. She was staring past her at the hall’s last mural: painted masses kneeled before the Storian, glowing in the School Master’s hands like a star.
A wicked smile crept across Sophie’s face. “Unless I write the ending myself.”
She stabbed her glowing finger and the rain puddles on the floor instantly deepened, knocking Agatha and both armies off their feet. The students treaded water, trying to keep their heads above it, but the water rose higher, higher in a ceiling-high sea, until they were all about to drown. Cheeks puffed, turning blue, they spun to Sophie, blocking the shattered window with her bound body. She smirked impishly, and then let herself fall through.