The Thing About the Truth by Lauren Barnholdt
I might be the happiest I’ve ever been.
This is what I’m thinking about on the day before Face It Down Day as I’m whistling down the hallway at school. I’m late for gym, so I’m kind of rushing. I like to meet Kelsey as soon as we’re done changing, so that we can do our warm-up run together. I know. Who would have thought that I would turn into such a sap? Doing a warm-up run together? It’s the kind of thing that used to make me roll my eyes and mime a gagging motion. But now it just seems right.
I’m debating whether it would be totally uncool to start running toward the locker room when someone steps in front of me.
“Whoa,” I say, putting my hands on the person’s shoulders to avoid barreling into them. “Sorry.”
“I’m sure you are,” the person says, sounding sarcastic. I take a step back. And that’s when I realize it’s Marina.
“Hey, Marina,” I say, trying to sound polite and not give away the fact that inside, I’m kind of terrified. Marina and I haven’t really talked since that day when she stomped out of our meeting. She never came to another Face It Down meeting, and we never really asked her why. I mean, it was pretty obvious.
In fact, if you want to know the truth, Marina and I haven’t really talked since that night at the beach last month. The night I kissed her. She sent me a couple of texts, but I never replied, and then I started dating Kelsey. I know I should have talked to her—I’ve been meaning to talk to her—but there just never seemed like a good time. She was always surrounded by her friends, and the couple of times I did try to approach her after her blowup at the meeting, she would see me coming and then turn on her heel and stalk away. After a little while I just assumed she was so mad at me that she didn’t want anything to do with me. Which, I’m sorry to say, made me kind of relieved.
“Hi, Isaac,” she says, giving me a fake smile. “How are things?”
“Fine,” I say, looking behind her nervously. “How are things with you?”
“Things are great with me,” she says. “I have a new boyfriend.”
A new boyfriend? I’m assuming she means new as in she just got him, not new as in I was her old boyfriend. She can’t think I was her boyfriend, can she? I mean, we only hung out once. “That’s great,” I say, deciding it’s best not to think about it. “I’m happy for you.”
“And I’m happy for you,” she says. “Rushing off to gym, are we? So that you and Kelsey can do your little warm-up run together?”
Wow. I wonder if anyone else has noticed we do that. “Well, I’m rushing off to gym because I don’t want to be late.” I force a little laugh and decide to leave the warm-up run part out of it.
“Is there a reason you didn’t pick me to come to Face It Down Day?” she asks.
The response to Face It Down Day has been insane. So many kids wanted to come, and we got a ton of applications. Kelsey, Chloe, Marshall, and I spent a bunch of time going through them, picking out the kids we thought were really going to get something out of it, not just the ones who were looking for a free pass out of class. We also picked a pretty diverse group because getting a good group is really important. Especially since thanks to my dad’s involvement, and the fact that he’s been talking up Face It Down at all the schools he’s been visiting, there’s going to be a camera crew here tomorrow from the local news.
“You submitted an application?” I ask, trying to look confused. The truth is, when we saw Marina’s application, we didn’t really read it. There was no way we were going to let her in.
“Yes,” she says, “and I would hate to think that I wasn’t picked just because you and I have a history. I don’t think that the NBC affiliate would like to cover that angle of the story, do you? Especially since the day is supposed to be about bringing students together, not tearing them apart.”
My mouth drops open, but I quickly shut it. Is she . . . she’s not threatening me, is she? Like saying that she might start some kind of scene or something while the reporters are here? That would be so fucked up.
“Huh,” I say, “yeah, well, you weren’t not picked because me and you have a history. We don’t really have that much of a history.”
Her face gets all angry then, and I realize I shouldn’t have said that last part, about us not having a history. That was a bad idea. Obviously, she thinks we do have a history. And that’s all that matters. And now I’ve angered her even more.
“Really?” she says. “Because I think kissing me and then refusing to talk to me is a history. A very interesting history.” She takes a step toward me. She’s wearing these very tall black boots with a very skinny, sharp heel. They look like the type of shoes you see on the covers of crime novels about female serial killers, the kind that usually have blood dripping off the bottom.
The warning bell rings, signaling that we only have thirty seconds to get to gym. Which doesn’t seem like it’s going to be happening. I don’t want to be late, but I also don’t want any kind of Fatal Attraction thing to be going on here either. Keeping my life is definitely preferable to keeping my attendance record.
“I didn’t refuse to talk to you,” I say. “You, um, you didn’t seem like you wanted to talk to me.”
“When did you try?”
“A bunch of times,” I say. “I tried to come up to you, but you were always walking away.”
She leans back against the row of lockers and pouts her bottom lip. “I wanted to make really sure that you wanted to talk to me. You know, about what happened.”
“Right,” I say, “about what happened. That’s why I wanted to talk. You know, to explain.”
“So explain.”
There’s an alarm going off inside me, some kind of crazy-girl radar. And I’ve learned that in these instances, it’s best to trust my instincts. “Um, well,” I say slowly, “I wanted to talk to let you know that me and Kelsey started going out, and that I was really sorry that I kissed you that night. I was drunk, and it wasn’t right of me to lead you on like that.”
This is the truth. The complete and total truth. I do wish I had talked to her, I was drunk that night, and me and Kelsey are together. But obviously, honesty isn’t what Marina’s looking for.
“So you did keep me out of Face It Down Day because of our history!” she yells. “You didn’t want me around because you thought I was going to stalk you!”
“No!” I say. Although, now I am a little scared that she’s going to stalk me. But I wasn’t at the time. Well, not that much.
She turns and starts to stomp down the hall, but I run after her. “Marina!” I say like some sort of crazy person. “Wait!”
She turns around. “Yes, Isaac? Do you have something to say that is going to make this situation any better?”
God, this chick has really gone off the reservation. “I just wanted to say . . . um, I hope we can be friends.” This is a lie. I don’t want to be friends with her. But I’m trying to calm her down.
“I don’t think that’s going to be possible,” she says. “I’m not friends with people who are so blatantly manipulative. My therapist doesn’t think it’s good for my self-esteem.”
Figures that she has a therapist. Not that there’s anything wrong with therapy. My dad’s always trying to foist that shit on me. But in my experience, there are two kinds of therapists. The kind that actually tries to help you and makes you work on your issues, and the kind that coddles you and doesn’t make you do any real work so that you keep coming back. I’ll bet that Marina’s therapist is the second kind, the kind that makes her feel like everyone around here is just so manipulative, and that she’s the victim in every situation.
“I’m not trying to manipulate you,” I say. “See you around.” And then I start to walk away from her. Because this chick is crazy. And also because I’m late for my run with Kelsey.
“I think the news channel is going to be really upset about all of this!” she yells after me.
I keep walking, pretending I don’t hear her. But then I remember Kelsey. And
And so I sigh. And turn around. And I say, “Marina, would you like to come to Face It Down Day tomorrow?” I can deal with her for one day. Then after that, she won’t have any power over me—the news story will have already run.
“I don’t know,” she says, pretending to think about it just because she wants to torture me. I wonder what her therapist would think about that kind of blatantly manipulative behavior. Probably he’d tell her she was a victim. “I mean, you didn’t want me there in the first place. I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice.”
She says it vaguely threatening, like I better not break up with Kelsey and expect her to have just waited around for me. I wonder if maybe I’m going to need to borrow my dad’s security detail.
“Oh, you’re not a second choice,” I say. “I really, really want you there.”
“Great,” she says, deciding to believe it. “Now walk me to gym.”
And since I want to keep things calm, I do.
• • •
“I just don’t understand why we had to run with her,” Kelsey says once gym class is over and we’re on our way through the halls, dodging the other kids as we make our way to second period. “It was weird, having her there during our warm-up.”
“Um, hello,” I say, “did you not hear the part about how she threatened me with creating some kind of scene tomorrow?”
“Isaac,” she says, “we can’t bow to that kind of thing! Do you want to be beholden to Marina Ruiz for the rest of your life?”
“I don’t think it’s going to be for the rest of my life,” I say. “It’s just going to be until tomorrow.”
“I just hate thinking that that girl is pulling one over on us,” she says.
“She’s not pulling one over on us,” I say. I put my arms around her waist and pull her close to me. I bury my face in her neck, which makes her laugh. I love making her laugh. “And it’s just until tomorrow.”
“I don’t like thinking about her being there.”
“I know, but you’re not even going to be thinking about her,” I say. “You’re going to be having too much fun being famous.”
She laughs again, and I kiss her, and then we walk down the hall, together and happy.
Before
Kelsey
On the morning of Face It Down Day the sky is overcast, and it looks like it’s going to rain. I’m not upset. In fact, it actually makes me happy because I feel like it’s fitting for what we’re about to do. I mean, we’re going to be dealing with some pretty heavy subjects, and so I feel like the weather should be heavy too. What would be really cool would be if later, when we were done, the clouds parted and the sun came out. Of course, that kind of stuff only happens in movies. But still. It’s cool to think about.
“Do I look okay?” I ask Isaac nervously. We’re standing outside the gym before second period. Everyone else is in class, so the hallways and the gym are empty. But the students from both our school and Concordia Prep should be here in about twenty minutes.
“You look beautiful,” Isaac says, leaning down and giving me a kiss.
“You have to say that. You’re my boyfriend.”
“I would say it even if I wasn’t your boyfriend, because it’s true,” he says, looking at me. He pushes some hair back from my face. “Kelsey, you need to relax. Everything is going to be fine.”
I nod and smooth down the skirt I’m wearing. It’s white, knee length, with ruffle detail on the bottom. I’ve paired it with a flowing black-and-white blouse with a geometric pattern, black high heels, and big gold hoop earrings. My hair is pulled back in a bun. I’m hoping the outfit makes me look responsible, but with a touch of young and funky.
“Ohmigod,” I say, grabbing Isaac’s arm. “I just remembered something.”
“What?”
“White doesn’t look good on camera.” I feel the blood drain from my face. “It doesn’t show up. I saw it on one of those ‘behind the scenes of your favorite reality shows’ specials. There was that girl, Ally or whatever, who was on In the House, and she was talking about how they couldn’t wear white because—”
“Kelsey,” Isaac says. He reaches out and puts a finger over my lips. “Re. Lax. Deep breaths. You are going to look fine on camera. Everything’s going to be fine. Okay?”
“Okay.” I nod. “Right. You’re right.”
There’s the sound of a car outside, and I look down the hall and through the front doors to see the 7 News van pulling into the traffic circle. I open my mouth and look at Isaac so I can start freaking out again, but he gives me a look. “Okay,” I say, forcing my shoulders back and giving him a smile. “Let’s go out and meet them.”
• • •
The camera crew and the newswoman are actually really nice. Her name’s Brianna, and she instantly makes me feel at ease. The best part is that they’re not going to interview me and Isaac right away. They’re just going to observe and film some of the day, and then talk to us later.
They’re going to ask everyone to sign a release on their way in, to make sure every student is comfortable being filmed. They just want to sort of highlight the day and the purpose of the event, not embarrass anyone on television.
When the bell rings at the end of second period, the students from our school who have been chosen to participate start to file down to the gym. Chloe and Marshall are working the door and are in charge of checking everyone’s student ID against the master list.
As people start filing in I hand them the packet that Isaac and I put together, about what we’re hoping to accomplish and how they’re participating in something important and wonderful. Yes, it’s a little cheesy, but this whole thing is a little cheesy. Besides, sometimes a little cheese is okay.
Brianna and the camera crew are over by the door, filming the kids as they come in. Which I thought might be a distraction, but really, all it’s doing is giving the air a sense of excitement. The kids are excited that they’re going to be on the news, and Brianna is even asking some of them if they’re excited about Face It Down Day, what they’re hoping to get out of it, etc.
Everything is going great until I hear a commotion from the table by the door where Chloe’s checking people in.
“You’re not on the list,” I hear her say, and then it sounds like there’s some kind of scuffle, and then someone says, “Hey, hey, hey!”
Isaac and I lock eyes across the gym and then both head for the door.
Marina is standing there, her cell phone out, her foot tapping against the floor. “This is ridiculous,” she says, waving her phone around. “I’m going to the media with this.”
“I’m sorry,” Chloe’s saying, shrugging, “but you’re not on the list.”
Brianna’s cameraman swings his camera over and starts to film the drama. Great, just great.
I give Isaac a nudge in the ribs. No, I don’t like the idea of another girl being obsessed with my boyfriend, but when it comes to defusing possible horrible situations, I’m not above using him.
“Hey,” Isaac says easily, walking up to the table. “What’s going on here?”
“Oh, Isaac,” Marina says, practically throwing herself at him in relief. “This girl”—she wrinkles up her nose in distaste at Chloe—“said that I’m not on the list. And then I said that was impossible.”
“No, you didn’t,” Chloe says. “You said, ‘You skank whore, my name is on that list, and I’m going in no matter what you say.’”
Yikes.
“She’s in,” Isaac says.
“She’s in?” Chloe asks. The cameraman is moving the camera back and forth between the two of them like he’s capturing some big moment. Which, I guess, in a way he is.
“Yes,” I say, “of course she is.” I give Chloe a “We’ll talk about this later” look.
“Okay,” Chloe says. “But if you ask me, she’s not really in the spirit of the day with the kind of language she’s been—”
“Kelsey!” someone yells. I turn and see Rielle at the back of the sea of students who are now waiting to get into the gym. The students from Concordia Prep have arrived. Wow. There are a lot of them. My stomach flips nervously.
“Hey,” I say, waving back to her. Then I turn away and start to head back into the gym because I don’t want her to think that she can cut the line. But she obviously doesn’t get the message, because the next thing I know, she’s elbowing her way through the crowd toward me. Elbowing along with her are Anna and Michelle. Which is weird, since I specifically told Rielle not to bring them. Whatever. Can’t worry about that now, la la la. I paste a smile on my face for the cameras.
“You can’t cut the line,” Marina says all bitchy-like, once Rielle’s at the check-in table. Then she turns her attention back to Chloe. “Can you please write my name on the list? I want it to be official that I was here.”
“Don’t worry,” Chloe tells her, giving her a fake-sweet smile. “It will be official.”
“Write. It. Down,” Marina says. She taps one manicured finger against the paper. “I’m not moving until you do.”
“Excuse me,” Rielle says, shaking her head like she can’t believe what’s happening. “But who are you?”
“Excuse me,” Marina says. “But who are you?”
Rielle looks shocked. Probably because there’s a girl standing in front of her in nondesigner shoes asking her who she is. Rielle’s definitely not used to that kind of treatment. “I’m Kelsey Romano’s best friend,” Rielle says. Which is kind of true and kind of not. “Which means I can cut the line if I want to.”
“You’re Kelsey’s best friend? Wow, you must be really proud of her for stealing my boyfriend.” Marina sneers. “I mean, with friends like that . . .”