To Professor, With Love by Linda Kage
Fuck, I’d forgotten I was keeping this strictly platonic.
“I forgot.” Lifting my hands, I instantly backed off. “My bad, seriously. I’m sorry. But now you have me craving ice cream. If I can’t have the other thing I crave right now, you owe me a big, double-scooped cone full of Rocky Road.”
Standing up, I reached across the table for her hand and pulled her up behind me. I’d never been a hand-holder before today, but I liked twining my fingers through hers and pressing our palms together. There was something wholesome and innocent and yet utterly erotic about swinging our arms in sync as we walked side by side.
***
“Mmm, now this is why I dragged you here,” I said after we both had cones full of ice cream. “I couldn’t very well buy ice cream by myself.”
Aspen tempted me out of my mind with the flash of her tongue as she lapped up her vanilla coated in chocolate and crushed M&Ms. “Why’s that?”
I snorted. “How lame is it for a guy to visit an ice cream stand by himself? Hell, it’s even wrong for a guy to take another guy. It’s only right when some chick is unwillingly dragging him along.”
Wrinkling her nose, she bumped her shoulder against mine. “So, I’m your ice cream beard, then?”
“Exactly.” See, she totally understood me. I didn’t even care that the entire idea made her laugh at my silliness. I loved her laugh.
We wound our way through the strip together, holding hands and eating our ice cream cones, checking out all the strange shit people had for sale. Homemade jewelry and odd little knickknacks mostly made us laugh. But then Aspen found a used books rack.
I watched her scan through the frayed paperbacks, charmed by the fascination on her face. She was in her element and looked good there. When she found a story I knew had caught her interest, I paid the vendor for the paperback before she’d realized what I’d done.
“You didn’t have to do that.” Her words said one thing, but her eyes said another as she gratefully hugged the book to her chest.
I rolled my eyes. “You’re welcome,” I said, bumping my shoulder into hers. “Now let’s find a grassy spot and stretch out for a minute so you can read.”
Her eyes grew big. “You...did you just offer to let me...read?”
I shrugged. “Sure. Why not? It’s our lazy day to relax and do whatever we want. And I’ve seen your bedroom, remember? I know how much you like to read.”
“But...you’re just...” She shook her head, at a loss for words. “That’s probably the sweetest thing anyone’s ever offered me.”
I couldn’t believe she was so touched by the suggestion. I didn’t see it as a big deal. Trying to play it down, I said, “Actually, I have a selfish motive. I was thinking a nap in the sunshine sounded like heaven right about now. So...if you were reading—”
“Wait, wait, wait. You brought me on a date to take a nap?”
When she arched her eyebrows, I laughed and raised my hands. “Hey, whoa. Who’s calling this a date? I thought I made it very clear I wasn’t going to try any of that hanky-panky that happens on dates. I just wanted to hang out with someone I enjoyed being with and do things we both wanted to do together. And since I can see in your eyes you’re dying to open that book, and I’d kill for an hour of rest, the two would go good together.”
And apparently that was all the explanation she needed.
“Okay, then,” she agreed before I could try to cajole her any more.
So that’s what happened. We stretched out together, side by side with our faces basking in the sunshine and our backs propped up by a huge ornamental rock, and I closed my eyes while she opened her book.
I don’t know how much time passed, but dusk was approaching when I came to. I felt more rested than I’d felt in a long time. It might’ve had something to do with the fact that my face was pillowed on her thigh or that she was running her fingers through my hair, but damn, it felt good. I lay there a second, just soaking it in, wondering how the hell my face had gotten down there and how I could get it there again, sans clothes.
I heard a page flip above me and decided to sit up, yawning. Aspen’s hand fell from my hair, which was a shame, but she smiled at me in a lovely manner as she lowered the book and asked, “Better?”
“Much.” I stretched, realizing she’d made it halfway through her story. Damn. “What time is it?”
I’d taken my phone out of my pocket before I’d gone to sleep to be more comfortable. When I spotted it nearby in the grass, I went to reach for it, but Aspen answered, “It’s almost seven.”
“Fuck.” Ten was probably having a shit fit.
As if he’d just heard my thoughts, my cell phone went off.
“And oh, yeah,” Aspen added. “Someone named Zero keeps calling and asking where his truck is.”
I groaned and answered my roommate, telling him to hold his damn horses. Aspen read the reply over my shoulder. “I take it Zero is a friend?”
“Yep.” I pocketed the phone. “My roommate. He goes by Ten, so I of course label him as Zero. He takes Modern Lit with me, actually. Oren Tenning.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Oh.” The way she said it told me she knew exactly who Ten was. “He writes very...interesting papers.”
Laughing, I leaned into her to smell her hair. It smelled exactly as I imagined it would, like lavender and warm sunshine. “I’ll bet. Chock full of f-bombs and crude comments, huh?”
She tensed.
Alarmed by her reaction, I pulled back. “What’s wrong?” Then it struck me. “Shit. I’m sorry. I know better than to ask you about anyone’s papers or grades. I told myself not to even mention school today.”
“No, it’s okay. That’s not why I was freaking out. I mean, not that I was...” She cleared her throat and glanced away, the tops of her cheeks turning pink.
I took her hand, worried about what was ruining our perfect day. She didn’t think I’d told Ten about what I was doing with her in his truck, did she? I opened my mouth to assure her my roommate was clueless when she finally lifted her gaze.
“Did you just...did you just lean in and smell me?”
Shit. I had, hadn’t I? Another thing I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do today. But I hadn’t even thought about it. After waking up relaxed and rested with my head on her thigh and her fingers in my hair, it had felt like the most natural thing in the world.
“Maybe,” I hedged, only to turn the tables on her. “Did I just wake up on your lap to you scratching my head?”
Blushing madly, she bit her lip. “Maybe.”
I swayed toward her. I wanted to steal a kiss. So bad. But my phone buzzed again, letting me know I had another text. With a groan, I lifted it, and we both read Ten’s message, wanting to know when I’d bring his truck back.
Aspen puckered her brow. “Why do you have his truck, anyway? What’s wrong with yours?”
“I don’t have a truck,” I answered her as I wrote Ten back, telling him I’d be home by midnight.
Aspen’s eyes widened. “Midnight? What do you plan on doing with me until then?”
I shuddered, thinking up all the things I’d love to do with her until then, and had to remind myself I’d promised to behave. “Dangerous question,” I warned.
“And why don’t you have a truck?” Then she rolled her eyes. “Oh, I get it. You’re a motorcycle guy, aren’t you? I should’ve guessed.”
Shaking my head, I just grinned. “I wish.”
Her teasing grin fell. “You mean, you don’t—?” With a gulp, she flushed guiltily. “Oh, my God. I’m sorry. I just assumed...”
“Hey, you didn’t say anything wrong. I just don’t have a set of wheels, that’s all. It would’ve felt, I don’t know...selfish, I guess, if I’d bought a car while my family was...” Well we didn’t need to go there. “I usually send all the extra money I have home to my sister to take care of stuff there, anyway, so it’ s not like I can really afford one.”
“Well, that’s just...you know, you surp
Instead of flattering me, her words only fed my guilt. Because bringing her here today had been incredibly selfish and wrong, threatening both her future and that of Caroline, Colton and Brandt. What was worse, it didn’t bother me enough to take her home quite yet.
We were already here; what was another couple hours? Besides, I wanted her to experience the one thing I’d brought her here to do.
“Come on.” I took her hand and helped both of us to our feet. “I think it’s about time for the main event.”
“Main event?” Her smile was curious with a hint of eager excitement. “What’s the main event?”
I pointed to the lights behind us on the other side of the vendor’s market strip. In the distance, the brightened outline of a Ferris wheel rotated slowly.
Grinning, I lowered my mouth to her ear. “You’re about to experience your first carnival, Dr. Kavanagh.”
Her beautiful lips parted with awe. The colorful lights from the amusement park reflected in her dazzled eyes. Spinning to me, she sputtered. “But how did you know I’ve never...?”
Damn, she must not remember anything from the drunken conversation we’d had together, which was too damn bad, because I couldn’t forget a single detail of it.
Lifting her fingers laced with mine to my mouth, I kissed her knuckles lightly and winked. “It’s an old ESP trick I learned from my literature professor.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it.” - Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember
~NOEL~
She loved it. Aspen didn’t say anything aloud, but all I had to do was watch the expressions flit across her face to know the whole experience thrilled her.
“Oh, my God. Look. They do actually sell cotton candy at carnivals. I thought that might just be one of those movie clichés.”
I felt like a dog walker who was being drug around by my overeager pet when she took off, hurrying toward the food stand, her hand tugging me along behind her. I laughed and hurried to keep pace. She was so freaking adorable, letting her inner child free. As she ordered a ball of big pink sugary fluff, I got a Coke because I knew she’d need a drink soon.
“Oh, funky.” She smacked her lips together after the first taste and scrunched up her nose. “I didn’t realize it would melt like that as soon as it hit my tongue. But, wow, it really is pure sugar, whipped into a fluffy ball, isn’t it?”
“Here.” I handed over the drink and she gave me a grateful thank you before snatching it away and sucking down half the contents.
She nursed the cotton candy a lot slower after that, and together, we browsed the carnival stands, watching a short sock puppet show before another vendor called out to us, coaxing us to try his ball throw.
Aspen nudged me in the ribs. “Come on, Mr. Quarterback,” she teased. “Why don’t you show us what you got?”
“Hey, you’re the champion ball thrower now; you’ve had an entire day of practice. Why don’t you try it?”
“Ooh.” The vendor eyed us with relish. “I smell a challenge. You two want to go head to head?”
So, we did the ball throw. I kicked her ass, of course, and she called me a sore winner. I just shrugged and told her I’d go easy on her here whenever she decided to go easy on grading my essays.
She murmured, “Touché,” and then rolled her eyes, laughing.
When the vendor congratulated me and thrust a blue stuffed bunny with floppy pink ears into my chest, I stared at him as if he’d lost his mind.
Aspen held her belly and laughed harder. “Aww. You two look so cute together. And look, his fur’s almost the same color as your eyes. I think it’s a match made in heaven.”
“Okay, smartass. You better take this thing because I’m sure as hell not carrying it around.”
When I pushed it at her, she looked at it as if it had rabies. “But...I’ve never had a stuffed animal before.”
Her arms fumbled to keep it from falling to the ground when I let go of it.
“Never too old to start,” I said, feeling smug that I’d managed to give her the bunny without being sappy about it.
She still looked completely flustered. “But what do I do with it?”
“Hell if I know. Toss it on your bed like all those throw pillows you have.”
“Well...” she still acted undecided, but I could see the yearning in her eyes. The girl wanted her stuffed animal. Finally, she relented with a quiet, heartfelt, “Thank you.” She blinked and I swore to God, if she dropped a single tear, I was going to drag her to the first quiet, shadowy nook and kiss her senseless.
But, really, what kind of heartless parents didn’t give their kid a stuffed animal? Even my freak show of a mother had tossed a dirty, dog-mauled teddy bear with an ear torn off at me one year for Christmas.
Needing to steer us away from anything emotional, I tugged on her hand. “That’s it. Time to take you on the rides and see how sturdy your stomach is.”
“Oh, I don’t... No, that’s okay.” Eyes widening, expression instantly leery, she shook her head and resisted my lead.
“What? You’re not scared, are you? Don’t worry. We’ll start out easy. How about the Ferris wheel?”
“The Ferris wheel?” Her eyes bulged even wider. “But that’s the biggest, tallest thing in the entire park.”
“Oh, come on. You have to try it out at least once.”
It was surprisingly easy to talk her into it; I think she secretly wanted to go but was nervous.
After buying tickets, we got into line behind a bunch of kids. We were by far the oldest two people waiting to board.
Leaning toward me, Aspen murmured, “This is silly. Let’s just go.”
“Nope. You’re not chickening out on me.” I tightened my grip on her hand, keeping her close as I stared up at the Ferris wheel as it slowed to let a pair of giggling girls off.
Her back immediately stiffened, and I saw some of her professor-self sprout on her features. It was kind of hot. “I am not chickening out. I’m—”
“Chickening out.” I grinned smugly, daring her to contradict me.
“Fine,” she snapped, turning to face the ride. “Let’s go on the Ferris wheel ride, then.”
“Good,” I spit back. “Because it’s our turn to load.”
“What?” Her fingers squeezed around mine as she whimpered. “Oh, God. Noel, wait.”
Pulling her along, I helped her into the seat the guy was holding open for us before I hopped up beside her. She looked so nervous, her fingers wrapped around the safety bar until the bones in her knuckles tried to poke through her skin.
Needing to distract her, I bumped my elbow into hers. “You know, the first kiss I ever had happened on the top of a Ferris wheel.”
Aspen turned wide eyes to me. “What was it like?”
I bunched up the features on my face as if to say meh. “Wet and sloppy. We were both pretty clumsy, but then, we were only eight.” I winced. “And her parents saw the whole thing. They dragged her off as soon as we landed, chastising her for going anywhere near the nasty Gamble boy." With a sigh, I shrugged. "She never talked to me at school again."
When I noticed Aspen was giving me an odd stare, I asked, "What?"
The corners of her lips fluttered up with a smile. "I actually meant, what was the ride like."
“Oh. Well...” Just as our cart jerked into motion and we were lifted into the air, I reached out to cover her hand. “Time to find out.”
She sucked in a breath and leaned toward me. As the wheel paused to let more people on, Aspen gulped audibly and leaned forward to gaze out at everything we could see from this height. “Wow.”
“I know.” I couldn’t take my eyes off her. “Pretty amazing, isn’t it?”
“I think…I think...it’s the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen.” Tears glistene
Leaning in, I pressed a brief, polite kiss to her cheek. As I pulled back, Aspen touched her damp skin with two fingers and glanced at me.
Feeling more self-conscious after this small peck than all the open-mouthed, heated kisses we'd shared before, I cleared my throat and tried to shrug it off. “What? It’s a tradition for me. And your parents aren’t here to take you away afterward, so...why not?”
Her lips lifted into a smile, and I blew out a relieved breath, glad she wasn’t pissed.
We spent the rest of the ride in quiet contentment, taking in the reflection of the sunset off the water of the river below.
“Okay, that was fun,” she admitted once our feet were back on solid ground.
“Aren’t you glad I made you try it?”
Lifting her chin, she tightened her lips as if to hold in a grin, but I saw it anyway. “Yes. Yes, I am.”
“So what now? Bumper cars? The scrambler?”
“I have a better idea.” Grasping on my hand, she started off. I followed, charmed by this carefree, eager side of her.
When we passed a tent, she dodged right, taking me into the quiet, shadowed spot next to it, squeezing us between canvas and the hut holding the puppet show.
“Wha...?”
She stopped abruptly and faced me. That’s when I realized... Oh, shit.
My skin rippled with buzzing energy. I refused to react. I’d promised her I wouldn’t try anything untoward. But I’d never said she couldn’t. And obviously, she wanted to.
She lifted her hand, and I held my breath. But then her fingertips barely grazed my cheek, and air hissed from my lungs, unable to stay in. It sawed through my teeth until my nostrils flared.
She didn’t say a word; I didn’t either. Turning her hand over, she brushed her knuckles up my jaw and over my short sideburns. When they combed through my hair, I closed my eyes and bowed my head so she could reach me easier.
“Aspen.” Her name cracked on my lips. My body was so wired I just knew I’d see electric sparks igniting over my flesh if I opened my lashes.