Twice As Nice by Nobo13
TWICE AS NICE
by Nobo13
Copyright 2015 Nobo13
*****
Twice As Nice
Meetings are coincidences, right? Just something that has happened at random, without any real direction. The people that come in and out of your lives, they just happened to be there. They just happened to be born around the same time as you. They just happened to live near you. They just happened to know someone you know. Meetings are coincidences, right?
*****
I woke up and stared about the place. From the open door you could hear the sea. The hours were still early but the sun light was strong and warm. I was sweaty and so was she.
‘Good morning,’ she smiled to me. I simply stared into her eyes. I felt like smiling or laughing, but I was completely overwhelmed. I felt such a relief, as I couldn’t help myself from getting watery eyes.
‘What’s the matter?’ she sat up and placed her hand on me
‘I’ve got something to tell you’ I smiled
We made ourselves comfortable with coffee and a light breakfast. She leaned onto the table as the heat of the day began to seep in. I looked at her and began to tell my story.
‘Meetings are coincidences, right?’ I started
*****
It was the night of my honeymoon. We were married just under 12 hours when it happened. I closed my eyes to sleep and I awoke. Panic struck in as I searched the surroundings for my wife. More stress found me when I realised I wasn’t even in the same room, or even in Hawaii anymore. I jumped from bed and fell hard.
Something felt strange. My feet didn’t meet the ground. It was as if my legs were not there. I looked down as my eyes adjusted to the dark. I felt the muscles around my eyes contract in horror. My legs were there, but they were shorter. In fact, everything was. Before I could think things straight, the lights turned on and my dead mother came in.
‘Sasha? Is everything ok?’ she asked me
‘Mum?’ I stared in disbelief
There was a low rumble as my father came into the doorway, ‘Early breakfast?’ he suggested
I turned to the reflection in the window. It was me alright. I was just a lot younger than I was.
*****
As far as I could see, I had somehow been sent back in time. I was now a 40 year old woman in a 9 year old girl. The last time I checked it was the other way around.
I suppose panic was an understatement, but I got over it quickly. I could hardly believe it. I smiled as my very alive mother cooked me breakfast, and my father lovingly bashed my every actions. I smiled and giggled. I could change everything! I could appear to be super smart, I could make money from gambling! I could even prevent all those bad times in my life. All of these things ran through my head. Wait until you hear about this, Clara.
And it struck me. My wife, Clara. Oh god. The smiling stopped, and the true horror of my trip back in time revealed itself.
I sat on my bed. Dinosaur covers, with princess posters on the walls. I placed my head in my hands as I tried my hardest to remember how I met her. Clara.
It was at the hospital, right? Right after. I stopped. Right after I tried to take my own life. I stopped and remembered why. The bullying. Those harsh cries from the other kids. The pressure of losing my mother, and the rejection from my father when I came out. It was all too much.
I lied on the bed as the ceiling reminded me of lazy summer days. What would you do for love? What would you endure for it? I never told her this. I never told her why she was so important to me. You see, despite all the horrible times I had been through. It all led me to her. And when I thought about it, I accepted that. The bullying, my father’s screams of rejection, not being invited to my mother’s funeral, the cold blade through my left forearm, I accepted it and loved it because it, by coincidence, led me to her.
*****
I walked home with a black eye. I knew it was coming, and I knew more was coming as well. I felt so embarrassed. It all began when I told my then best friend that I loved her. That’s when the bullying started. If I didn’t say those words, I knew I could have had a good school life. But within me, I thought if I changed history, even by a little, I would never see Clara again. I had to bear with it.
Today was particularly hard though. Tomorrow my mother would be hit by a car and die. She would die. Again, I thought to myself, I can save her. I can save her life tomorrow. But would that change anything? Would I end up losing Clara?
I got home and run up to my room. I cried into my pillow as I chose between my mother and Clara. Who did I love more?
‘Sasha?’ my mother asked as she came into my room
‘Mum! Knock!’ I shouted into my pillow
‘Sasha?’ she pulled on my shoulder, ‘Oh honey, you’ve got another black eye! What’s happening?’
‘Nothing’ I wiped my tears away, I don’t remember this. This was a new experience.
‘If you’re being bullied, you’ve got to tell someone. If you don’t, I will’
‘Mum, it’s ok’
‘But Sasha!’
‘Mum,’ I held her hand like she used to for me, ‘It’s ok’
She was shocked to see me act so mature. She nodded in disbelief and smiled.
‘Mum,’ I asked after a long pause, ‘Can we… chat?’
‘Of course, dear. What’s the matter?’
Oh god. I didn’t know where to start. I trembled as I struggled to keep her death from escaping my lips. Right there and then, my whole mind was shouting to tell her. To save her.
‘You really are your father’s daughter’ she smiled before I could say anything
‘What?’ I replied
‘The two of you bottle everything up,’ she sighed as she stared out the window, ‘The both of you expect me to know what you’re thinking. You know, he’s always been like that, even when we first met. Did I ever tell you how we met?’
‘No,’ I smiled, you never got the chance to
‘Well, it wasn’t a fairy tale, I’ll tell you now. We just sort of ended up together. We were lab partners, even then he never spoke a word and expected me to know what to do. And by coincidence, we went to the same university. He’d talk a bit more, and I understood what he thought more. It wasn’t until after we finished our degrees and I was moving away that he asked me to stay. So I did.’
‘That was it?’ I asked
‘That was enough’ she smiled
‘Mum,’ I paused
‘What’s the matter, dear?’
‘Would you change anything?’
‘Oh a lot,’ she laughed, ‘But I wouldn’t ever change him’
‘Ok,’ I cried, ‘Thanks you mum. I love you’
‘I love you too, Sasha’
I hugged her one last time, as I counted my blessings I could say goodbye to her one last time.
*****
‘What would your poor mother think?’ my father shouted as he slapped me. I gritted my teeth. This time I knew it was coming, and put a foot back to stop myself from falling. He was shocked to see I was still standing strong and proud. He walked out my life a second time, as I tried my hold my tears back. Now I no longer had a family. The second time around was just as painfully.
My then girlfriend held my hand as I pulled away. I told her it was over. This time around it was colder, that I think I hurt her more than last time.
I have had 3 boyfriends, and 4 girlfriends now. I kissed them, and made love with them heartlessly and without love. I told myself I had to repeat every step of my life. Every single one if I had to meet her again. Losing my mother for the second time was hard. But it was for Clara. Do it for her.
I returned to my flat alone and cold. What if I don’t see her again? What happens if I don’t meet Clara again? What ha
There was no going back as I went to the kitchen. That steak knife I bought all those years ago, finally it will fulfil its purpose. Without rage, I calmly inserted the blade into my arm and pulled down. There was no pain. Just blood and the fading lights from my window. Hopefully whoever found me last time will find me again. Otherwise, I’d die here without even seeing Clara again. I struggled to breath as my vision slowly went. In the corner of my eye I saw a figure rush towards me. ‘Stupid girl!’ I heard they cry.
*****
My eyes slowly opened to white surroundings. It was now I felt the pain of cutting up my left arm. I couldn’t move as I tried to twist my head around.
‘You stupid girl’ my father said from my bedside
He looked tired, and his eyes were red. I was shocked to see him. He wasn’t here last time.
‘You scared the hell out of me’ he came to my side. He held my hand like he used to before crying
‘I’m sorry’ he said
‘Mum,’ I struggled to speak, ‘she said we’re a lot alike’
‘Yeah?’ he smiled
It was a lot earlier than before, but I made up with my dad.
‘Oh? You’re awake?’ she finally called.
All at once, I felt everything leave me: the burdens and the pains; the joys and the horrors; and the frustration and despair I felt, it all left me as I finally turned to her.
‘Hi,’ I said
‘Hello there, I’m Clara, your nurse. You’re really lucky to be alive you know. If your father hadn’t found you, you’d have died’
I stared into her eyes as she stared into mine. She giggled and asked what was the matter.
‘Sorry,’ I repeated the same first words I said to her before, ‘You looked so beautiful I thought I really was dead’
*****
Clara got up and hugged me. She kissed me, and parted my hair so she could see into my eyes.
‘It must have been hard,’ she cried
‘It was worth it,’ I smiled, ‘It was really worth it’
Meetings are coincidences, right? That’s what I believe as well. All the events in my life led me to her. And if by chance I was given a chance to change any of that, I wouldn’t. No matter how bad it got, it was just one step of many that allowed me to meet her. I was lucky to have twice as nice a love as anyone else.
###
About the author
“There’s someone I’m glad I’ve met, who makes me think, actually all those bad times in my life, I’ve accepted them and loved them. Because by coincidence, I got a chance to meet them.”
For those who are tragically obsessed, Nobo13 was born 1987 in Cambridgeshire. He spent four years doing a Physics degree but spend most of the time doodling and writing. Currently he is somewhat of a teacher.
Nobo13’s pen name is derived from using his surname, just look above! His more unusual hobbies are collecting headphones, yoyos, staring aimlessly out the window (which consumes much of his time) and messing about with musical instruments- at the moment these are ocarinas and ukuleles.
Please check out my website and my other works, thanks for reading!
More from this author
Please check out the following links:
The Man in the Desert:
Lost in the Painting
Fixing Broken Promises
The Empty Necklace
Time left over
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