Unbeautifully by Madeline Sheehan
“What the fuck is goin’ on?” ZZ asked, grabbing the phone out of Deuce’s hand. The guy shoved the phone in Kami’s face. “Dial her again,” he demanded.
Looking nervous, Kami took her phone and glanced up at Cox.
Cox shook his head. “Fuckin’ do it,” he said. “Brother deserves to know.”
While the short exchange took place, Deuce had been frozen, in a state of shock. Danny was in Ripper’s room? What the motherfuck?
The minute Danny’s phone began ringing again, he snapped back to attention and watched as ZZ turned toward Ripper’s door, his expression quickly shifting from confused anger to outright shock.
And Deuce felt for him. He really did. As much as he hated Danny being with one of his boys, ZZ was a decent man who loved the fuck out of his daughter.
“What the fuck!” ZZ roared, lunging for Ripper’s door.
Deuce caught him, grabbed him by his neck, and slammed him into the opposite wall.
“Prez!” ZZ bellowed, trying to get free. “LET GO OF ME!”
“Why?” he asked calmly, feeling anything but. “What are you gonna do? Storm in there, guns ready? I know she’s your girl, but she was my girl way before your sorry ass, and I ain’t gonna let you do somethin’ stupid that could get her hurt.”
He turned to the peanut gallery. “I know you assholes know somethin’, so someone better start fuckin’ talkin’.”
“Sorry, Prez,” Mick said, stepping forward when no one else would. Curling his hand into a fist, his VP pounded on Ripper’s door.
“We don’t know much, just that Ripper and Danny got some deep-rooted shit between ’em.”
Deuce’s eyebrows shot up. They did?
ZZ, hearing this, struggled harder and he was forced to tighten his grip on his boy’s throat. “Reel it in,” he growled.
“Fuck you,” ZZ spat. “You reel it the fuck in, that ain’t your old lady in there with motherfuckin’ Ripper!”
No shit. But it was his daughter in there with motherfucking Ripper and he wasn’t much happier than ZZ was at the moment. The only difference between him and ZZ was Deuce was attempting to stay calm. What had gone down yesterday had done enough damage. The club, his family, didn’t need any more tragedy.
“Ripper!” Mick bellowed, pounding harder on the door. “Get your fuckin’ ass out here!”
Deuce took a deep breath and tried to ready himself for whatever mess that door was going to reveal, but all he kept seeing was Danny in bed with Ripper and…
The door swung open and in the entranceway stood Ripper, wearing only his leathers, in the midst of pulling on a white T-shirt. He took one look at the people standing in the hallway, their expressions varying from pity to disgust, and froze.
“Where is she?” ZZ yelled, struggling harder in Deuce’s grip.
“Aw, fuck,” Ripper muttered. Crossing his arms over his chest, the guy leaned back against the doorjamb. “Danny,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. “Shit just got real, baby.”
ZZ visibly shook in Deuce’s grip and, fuck, yeah, he felt for his boy, but he was too fucking busy trying to keep his own shit reeled in.
Ripper had broken code. Took another brother’s old lady…to bed. Took his daughter to bed. In an attempt not to toss ZZ aside and beat Ripper into the fucking floor, he gripped ZZ even tighter and held his ground.
It wasn’t easy.
Wrapped in only a sheet, Danny appeared beside Ripper, her lips quivering and her eyes filled with tears and, Jesus, his chest went tight.
Fuck him. Ripper…Danny…
Fuck him.
He didn’t know what the fuck to do. His daughter, two of his boys…
What the fuck did he do?
“WHAT THE FUCK!” ZZ raged.
Ripper immediately moved forward, positioning himself in front of Danny. It was a protective maneuver. One he often caught himself doing with Eva even when there was no threat.
“YOU’RE FUCKIN’ DEAD, ASSHOLE!” ZZ roared. “YOU HEAR ME, RIPPER? YOU’RE FUCKIN’ DEAD!”
“I hear you, brother,” Ripper said evenly. “The whole damn world hears you.”
“Brother?” ZZ yelled. “You don’t know what the word means!”
“Mickey,” Adriana whispered, tugging on Mick’s hand. “We should go.”
His VP’s gaze caught his and Deuce gave a slight shake of his head. Things were going to get ugly. He might need help.
Mick stayed but moved his old lady a few feet away and Cox did the same with Kami. Meanwhile, Blue lit up a cigarette.
“You don’t understand,” Danny whispered as two tears slipped down her cheek. “I love him, Z.”
ZZ went rigid. “What?” he asked hoarsely and Deuce could feel the guy’s throat working overtime beneath his palm. “Since fuckin’ when do you love Ripper?”
Deuce stared at his daughter. He too wanted to know since-fucking-when she loved Ripper. And then he wanted to kill Ripper. Slowly.
“It happened a long time ago,” Danny whispered. “Before you, Z. It was—”
“He’s the fuckin’ reason,” ZZ spat. “He’s why you were so fuckin’ messed up! And you’re the reason he left, aren’t you!”
Danny’s eyes dropped to her bare feet. “Yes,” she whispered and Deuce’s lungs collapsed. He was such a fucking idiot. How had he not put this shit together? It had been staring him in the face, for how long now?
Ripper leaving.
Danny losing her shit.
Ripper and Danny staring each other down at his wedding.
…And fuck, Danny’s violent mood swings always coinciding with Ripper’s drop-ins.
Ah, Christ. He was such a shit father. A shit president. A shit everything. He’d been so wrapped up in his own crap, he hadn’t even seen what was happening right under his fucking nose. In his club.
Self-disgust switched instantly back to anger. Ripper, his goddamn sergeant at arms, hadn’t just disrespected him by doing whatever the fuck he’d been doing with Danny, he’d kept it a secret. That shit didn’t fly in his club. His boys knew that.
You patch in, you become family. Brothers.
You don’t disrespect your brothers.
“You ain’t never been straight with me,” ZZ rasped. “I don’t even… Fuck, I don’t even know you!”
Danny’s head snapped up. “No,” she whispered. “You did, you knew—”
ZZ’s upper lip curled into a snarl. “Don’t, Danny, you just fucked another guy with my ring on your finger, so do not fuckin’ patronize me.”
“We didn’t fuck,” Ripper spat angrily. “So you can stop shittin’ on her.”
ZZ’s eyes shot to him and filled with hate. “Oh yeah?” he sneered. “So what, you were just talkin’ and decided talkin’ would be a whole lot better without clothes on?”
“I think talkin’ is better without clothes,” Cox called out. “Just sayin’.”
Deuce added Cox to the list of hits he would soon be putting out.
“I didn’t say that,” Ripper gritted out. “I said we didn’t fuck, never said I didn’t try.”
If he wasn’t busy holding on to ZZ, Deuce would have smashed Ripper’s head through the wall. Then his own. That had been a visual he could have gone five lifetimes without ever getting a glimpse of.
His entire body now trembling with built-up rage, ZZ turned back to Danny. “You are a fuck-ing whore,” he said quietly, purposely punctuating every syllable with a hard, venomous edge.
Deuce saw red and just reacted. With his hand still wrapped around ZZ’s neck, he pulled him forward then slammed him back against the wall. “That’s once,” he growled. “Next time you call my kid a whore, I will end you, you fuckin’ feel me?”
“She ain’t a whore, Prez?” ZZ yelled, glaring at him. “So what the fuck do you call a bitch who agrees to marry a man and a couple hours later is in his brother’s bed?”
“She ain’t a whore,” Ripper growled, his expression one Deuce was very familiar with. It was the
His two boys stared at each other, ZZ’s chest heaving, ready to throw down the second Deuce let him go, and Ripper, stretching his neck side to side, cracking his knuckles, impatiently waiting for it. Wanting it.
Right. Shit was going to go south real quick if he didn’t get these two assholes far, far away from each other. Then he needed Danny to put some fucking clothes on.
Then…him and Eva were goin’ to have a serious talk about allowing Ivy access to the club. By the time Ivy was Danny’s age, he’d be way too old to be holding his boys back from fighting over his daughter. And god knows they would. Ivy looked like a cross between Danny and Eva. As beautiful as both his wife and eldest daughter were, Ivy was going to surpass both of them. Not good.
Jesus. Why couldn’t he have had boys? All boys. Little fucking shits like Cage. A whole slew of ’em he could throw condoms at and be done with it.
“Oh Jesus,” Mick whispered, and Deuce’s eyes shot to him, following his gaze to the end of the hallway. Jase stood there, his white T-shirt and jeans still stained with Dorothy’s blood, tears streaming down his cheeks, holding a gun in his hand.
“Jase,” Cox breathed. “Broth—”
Jase’s arm shot forward and he aimed the gun at Cox. “Don’t fuckin’ move,” he whispered hoarsely. “Don’t fuckin’ speak.”
Nobody moved. Nobody said a word.
And Jase fell to his knees. His hand shaking, he brought the barrel of his gun to his temple.
Deuce dropped his hand from ZZ’s throat and stepped away from him.
“Jase,” Deuce said quietly, trying to keep his cool. “You got four kids who need you, brother, don’t fuckin’ do this.”
Jase let out a choking sob. “I was gonna leave, Prez, I was gonna leave that bitch a million times, but I felt so guilty ’cause of the kids and I tried to do right by both of ’em and instead I fucked it all up. All I do is fuck everything up.
“I love her,” Jase whispered. “She made shit real good, you know? They don’t know if she’s gonna make it, Prez, and…and I don’t wanna be here without her.”
Using his thumb, Jase pulled back the hammer.
“JASON!” Cox roared, taking off down the hallway. “Don’t you dare!”
The echoing boom of a bullet discharging rattled throughout the hallway as Cox fought Jase for the gun and won. He tossed the piece away and pulled Jase into his arms.
“No, motherfucker,” Cox rasped, holding tight to Jase. “You do not fuckin’ die. Do you get me? You. Do. Not. Die.”
All three women were crying, Danny was wrapped tightly in Ripper’s arms, Adriana and Kami were wrapped around each other, and both Blue and Mick were staring down the hallway at Cox and Jase, their expressions a mix between stunned and pained.
He looked around the hallway for ZZ and couldn’t find him. He should have cared where ZZ had gone, should have cared that his boy was messed up.
But he was too fucking tired.
Deuce’s back hit the wall and he slid slowly down the plaster until his ass met floor.
“Mickey,” he whispered. Moving his way, Mick bent down in front of him.
“I got this covered, Prez,” Mick said. “Just sit tight.”
Right. Like he was going somewhere. Pulling his phone out of his cut, he called his wife.
“Hey, baby,” Eva sniffled. “You okay?”
“No,” he said softly. “I fuckin’ need you.”
“Five minutes,” she said without hesitation. “And you got me.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
“There she is,” I said, pointing.
Cage followed my finger to the stream of people flooding the bus station.
“That ain’t Tegen,” he said, frowning.
I squinted. Yep, that was Tegen…sort of. Still of slim build with catlike green eyes and striking cheekbones. But that’s where the resemblance ended.
Her long red hair had been dyed a few shades darker and was separated into tens of thick dreadlocks, interwoven with large wooden beads that she’d pulled back in a dark blue kerchief. She was wearing ratty Birkenstocks, low-slung light brown bell-bottom corduroys with a tight black tank top that showed off her pierced belly button and heavily tattooed arms and stomach.
Her neck and wrists were laden with handmade jewelry, her ears, nose, and lip were all pierced, her ear holes stretched wide enough to fit my pinkie finger through.
“Holy fuck,” Cage breathed as she came to a stop in front of us.
“Danny,” she greeted me icily, refusing to look at Cage.
I reached for her but she took a deliberate step back, dodging my hug. Startled, I dropped my arms and glanced over at Cage, unsure of what to do.
Cage stepped forward. “Te—”
Tegen reared backward. “Don’t touch me,” she hissed, then tossed me one of her paisley-patterned bags as she shoved past me. “Let’s go!” she snapped over her shoulder. “The less I see of this fucking shithole town full of asshole bikers and their pathetic women, the better!”
Cage’s mouth fell open.
“Cage,” I said slowly. “What exactly happened between you and Tegen?”
He cut his eyes at me. “Nothin’,” he mumbled.
“Cage…”
He sighed. “I may have…you know…popped her cherry…and she may or may not have told me she loved me.”
I closed my eyes.
“And then I may have told her it was just sex…and that she wasn’t my type…although she didn’t look like she does no—”
“Hey! Don’t punch me!” he whined, rubbing his arm.
“You idiot!” I seethed.
“Me!” he yelled. “You should fuckin’ talk! Where’s ZZ, little sister? Why ain’t no one heard from him in two days while you been sittin’ pretty on Ripper’s fuckin’ lap?”
“Shut up,” I hissed. “I haven’t been sitting on anyone’s lap!”
And I hadn’t. In fact, during the two days that had passed since ZZ and my father had found me in Ripper’s room, Ripper and I hadn’t spoken. Actually, no one was doing much speaking these days. Everyone was either at the hospital with Dorothy, or at Jase’s house on suicide watch duty. Jase and Chrissy’s three kids, all in their teens, had gone to Billings to stay with their grandparents, and no one trusted him to be alone for any length of time.
I also didn’t need to be reminded of what I’d done to ZZ. I was doing a good enough job of beating myself up about it all on my own.
Twice now, since Ripper had initially left, we’d come together in a fit of tumultuous emotional overload. The first time it had ended horribly. And this time…
This time we’d awoken to chaos.
It seemed to be a running theme for us.
Now, I didn’t know what was going to happen. I knew what I wanted to happen but at the same time I felt guilty for wanting it.
But I wasn’t going to dwell on it. Something had shifted inside of me since our night together. Yes, I loved him, knew I would always love him, but I was no longer willing to throw my life away for him if he left me again.
If he left, he left. If he stayed…well, who knew? I certainly wasn’t going to keep throwing myself at him only to lose him.
And never again was I going to deceive another man into thinking I loved him.
Perspective is a bitch when it slaps you in the face, after the fact.
“You got between brothers, Danny,” Cage growled. “Dad ain’t gonna let that stand.”
I glared at him. “What’s he gonna do? Shoot me?”
“Not you,” Cage shot back. “Ripper.”
“He won’t,” I said.
His brow raised, Cage snorted. “How can you be so sure?”
I just was. Both Cage and my father had already beaten Ripper half to death, and had both stopped themselves before it had gotten that far. Well…Ripper had th
I hadn’t been present for his fight with my father nor did I know the cause of it, but when my father appeared in my room and slammed the door behind him, saying nothing, his long hair flying loose from his ponytail, his nostrils flaring, his clenched fists covered in blood…
I knew.
I knew he knew everything.
Several heart-pounding moments passed before he finally spoke.
“You know why I kept you away from the club, Danielle?”
Danielle. Not good.
“Because I’m a girl,” I whispered.
“No,” he growled. “Because you were better than this shit. Too fuckin’ good for it. Knew it from day one. Took one look at you and knew you had it in you to get the fuck outta here and make somethin’ of yourself.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have anything to say. My father had never said anything like this to me before.
“Knew Cage was gonna be followin’ me to hell whether I wanted him to or not. But not you. Not fuckin’ you. You were gonna be the one West to make a decent life for herself. The kid I was gonna be proud of, not for followin’ me into the life but for makin’ it out.”
“Daddy,” I whispered, needing to say something, anything at all, before I burst into tears. “I’m sorry, I—”
“No,” he said gruffly, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I’m your old man, you were my responsibility and I fucked up. Now you’re just like the rest of ’em. Been just like ’em for a while now. My baby girl’s got blood on her hands. And that shit’s on me.”
Then he turned around, pulled open the door, and left.
I slapped my hand over my mouth, muffling a sob as sharp pains shot through my chest, making breathing difficult and painful.
He didn’t hate me. He didn’t even hate Ripper. He wasn’t even mad. He was disappointed. I had disappointed him.
It was infinitely worse.
“Danny!” Tegen bellowed. “You do realize I have a mother in the fucking hospital with a hole in her skull!”
I winced as everyone inside the station gaped at Tegen.