Unconditional by Connie Keenan
An apropos Bible verse came to Valerie as she slowed her 2010 Kia Optima in the parking lot behind Lakeside Church. She sat for a few minutes with the engine running and turned down the radio. The movie must have been in progress, because she could see the lights were on low in a few windows downstairs, but there was no singing or voices coming from the building.
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
She’d never been to Lakeside. Living in Hathaway since her childhood, she’d passed it now and then. A two-storey, red brick building, it sat beside Blue Violet Lake, serene and undisturbed, far enough away from the town and the hotels, motels and boardwalk in Wildwood. From what April had told her, it was comprised of a somewhat smaller congregation. What they lacked in number they made up for in enthusiasm and energy. Lakeside had quite a few outreach ministries for the benefit of the nearby communities that could have put some of the larger, flashier and less involved churches to shame.
Valerie cut the engine and pulled the key from the ignition. She recalled her conversation with her coworker, still dwelling on that Bible verse.
I don’t want you to think I’m telling you this because I’m gossiping or because I’m trying to make you see Josh in a bad light. He hasn’t been here that long, but from what I know of him, he’s a very nice, very sweet young man. I just want you to be aware of…what he went through before he came to know Jesus.
Sighing, she stepped out of the car. She was annoyed at her mother, not April. For about a half hour, she’d had to listen to that familiar little sermon about how she should pray for guidance when it came to Zed, about being unequally yoked, about how this wasn’t the first second chance she’d given him. Her mother had never been shy when it came to discussing Valerie’s longtime, on-again, off-again boyfriend.
Yet the real reason she’d been irritated was because something was different this time. Could it have just been that more time than usual had elapsed since they’d been apart? In the past, she and Zed had spent months at a time without seeing each other. Even with him absent from her life, she’d pined for him. That was embarrassing to admit, but it was true. She had always believed that, despite the times he’d wanted “a little break” from their relationship because, as he said, “things are getting really heavy between us, and I’m just not ready for that, Val,” that he would one day come to his senses and know, without a doubt, that he belonged with her.
Something had changed in the interim. Since the last time she’d seen him, something had changed. In her, not in him.
And now there she was, standing outside Lakeside Church, trying to decide whether or not to go in. Other than April and Josh, she knew no one else who attended the church. Even if she’d wanted to see the movie, it was most likely already in progress. If anything, she would be interrupting their movie night.
She was there because she wanted to see Josh Coleman. Another Mr. Wrong. Even worse, because this particular Mr. Wrong had a not-so-innocent past. Granted, he didn’t look the part. He didn’t look like the cowboy who wore the black hat in those old westerns her mom used to watch on TV. He looked like the guy who wore the white hat; the hero, not the villain.
She needed to go home. Really, though, what was the harm of going in? She could always say a quick hello to April—and yes, to Josh, too. It would take all of five minutes, probably even less. She could tell him the truth, that she’d gone out to dinner with her mother and hadn’t been able to make it in time for the party. Unless, of course, she got inside and everyone was too wrapped up in the movie, and she could leave before even being seen.
As far as the east is from the west…
Drinking in a shaky breath, she walked into the church building. The sanctuary was beyond a pair of closed doors, and what sounded like a crowd talking was coming from the far end of the hallway to her right.
I just want you to be aware of…what he went through before he came to know Jesus.
Whatever he had been, Josh Coleman was a Christian now. It wasn’t fair to judge him by his past, particularly when she didn’t know him well enough for that. Entering the room, which looked like a large dining room that the church must have used for special dinners, Valerie saw that the movie was over. About seventy people had come to the event, and as was often the case in churches, people weren’t just hurrying off, instead lingering to chat. She could smell the distinct aroma of buttery popcorn which must have been made to accompany the Christian moviegoers.
To her left, standing in a small circle of about five people, Josh stood. He was looking directly at her, having spotted her coming in through the door immediately. It was as if he’d been waiting for her all evening. She smiled and waved at him, supposing that would be it, that he would wave back politely and continue his conversation with his friends. Instead, she watched him excuse himself from the small circle and head toward her.
“Hey—you got here after all!” he exclaimed, his face lighting up with a friendly smile. “But you’re a little late. You missed the movie.”
She took a tentative step toward him. How was she supposed to greet him? He also seemed to hesitate, but only for a moment before he pulled her in closer and wrapped her in his arms.
A hug certainly wasn’t out of line. They weren’t complete strangers anymore; this was the third time they’d seen each other. Except that wasn’t like any hug she’d received from a friend in church. Automatically, her eyes had closed when her face had been pressed up against his shoulder, and she’d spent that moment breathing in the scent of his soap and shampoo, and enjoying the warmth of those strong, muscular arms. Respectfully, much to her chagrin, he ended the hug and dropped those arms from around her.
The movie. You missed the movie. Welcome back to earth, Valerie! she scolded herself.
“I was, um—was it good?” she asked, clumsily.
“Yeah, I—I think we all liked it.” Josh chuckled. “I’m sorry you missed it.”
“I am, too. But my mom and I had plans to have dinner together.”
“Oh, that’s okay. You just passed by to say hello then?”
“Yes. Just to say hi.” Valerie thought quickly, finding the small lull in their conversation uncomfortable. “And I’ve never been here before.”
“Ah, but you know April. You two work together,” he pointed out.
“She told you?”
“Yes. She’s not here tonight, though. I think she and her husband had dinner plans, too.” He paused and cleared his throat. “You look very pretty tonight, Valerie.”
And you look good, too. Good enough for another hug!
She smiled shyly. “Thanks. I guess I came really late because you’re all just about wrapping up now.”
“Yeah, and I’m going to be getting up early tomorrow, so I’m not staying very long after this. Going fishing tomorrow. Off the pier this time. You wanna come with me?”
This was it: the perfect time to let him know that there was nothing between them. That she wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, that she was already involved in a serious relationship, sort of. It was complicated. Whichever the case, she wanted Josh Coleman’s friendship and nothing more. That was the message coming across, loud and clear, from her head.
Her heart, which at the moment felt like it was doing back-flips and somersaults all over the place, was telling her a different story. She gazed back at him, dressed in his faded jeans and short-sleeved black T-shirt. Her eyes traced the cleft in his chin, his pronounced, high cheekbones, and his mouth, drawn into a half grin.
“Fishing?” she repeated.
“Yeah. Sounds good? Just you, me, and all those sneaky fluke. Let’s make sure they don’t get away. Nice way to spend a morning, huh?”
“Tomorrow? Off the pier?” While her mind was still processing the invitation and she was understanding that he was asking her out on a date, she replied, “Yeah. Okay.”
His smile became even broader. There was a light in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in other guys
’ eyes, and that included Zed’s.
“All right. Cool. Let me get your number and I’ll pick you up,” he said.
“I could meet you there.” That would make it less of a date, wouldn’t it? If she took her own car?
“I’d rather be a gentleman and pick you up, but if you’d rather use your car, then that’s not a problem, either.”
“Well, the thing is…well, once a month, I go—I go do something. It’s sort of volunteer work. I’d have to come home, shower and change, and then it’s only for an hour, an hour and a half in the afternoon—”
“You do volunteer work? Really? That’s fine. I can get you home in time to shower and all that.”
Lord, how could that be true about him? What April said? In that moment, that fragment of time before her next words, she couldn’t help but wonder.
The reply came to her heart, and she recognized that Voice: Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.
He said he wanted to be a gentleman. Her mom was always lamenting that young men didn’t care to be gentlemen anymore, but then in fairness, she’d add that young women didn’t always appreciate those gallant gestures, neither did they always care to comport themselves as ladies. Her generation, she said, had been different. Nevertheless, Josh hadn’t been pushy about it, respecting her wishes, if she was more comfortable bringing her own car.
She decided to trust him. Bringing her cell phone out from the side pocket of her pink leather backpack, she told him, “Give me your number. I’ll call you right now and you can call me in the morning, so I can give you my address.”
CHAPTER FOUR
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
She’d never been to Lakeside. Living in Hathaway since her childhood, she’d passed it now and then. A two-storey, red brick building, it sat beside Blue Violet Lake, serene and undisturbed, far enough away from the town and the hotels, motels and boardwalk in Wildwood. From what April had told her, it was comprised of a somewhat smaller congregation. What they lacked in number they made up for in enthusiasm and energy. Lakeside had quite a few outreach ministries for the benefit of the nearby communities that could have put some of the larger, flashier and less involved churches to shame.
Valerie cut the engine and pulled the key from the ignition. She recalled her conversation with her coworker, still dwelling on that Bible verse.
I don’t want you to think I’m telling you this because I’m gossiping or because I’m trying to make you see Josh in a bad light. He hasn’t been here that long, but from what I know of him, he’s a very nice, very sweet young man. I just want you to be aware of…what he went through before he came to know Jesus.
Sighing, she stepped out of the car. She was annoyed at her mother, not April. For about a half hour, she’d had to listen to that familiar little sermon about how she should pray for guidance when it came to Zed, about being unequally yoked, about how this wasn’t the first second chance she’d given him. Her mother had never been shy when it came to discussing Valerie’s longtime, on-again, off-again boyfriend.
Yet the real reason she’d been irritated was because something was different this time. Could it have just been that more time than usual had elapsed since they’d been apart? In the past, she and Zed had spent months at a time without seeing each other. Even with him absent from her life, she’d pined for him. That was embarrassing to admit, but it was true. She had always believed that, despite the times he’d wanted “a little break” from their relationship because, as he said, “things are getting really heavy between us, and I’m just not ready for that, Val,” that he would one day come to his senses and know, without a doubt, that he belonged with her.
Something had changed in the interim. Since the last time she’d seen him, something had changed. In her, not in him.
And now there she was, standing outside Lakeside Church, trying to decide whether or not to go in. Other than April and Josh, she knew no one else who attended the church. Even if she’d wanted to see the movie, it was most likely already in progress. If anything, she would be interrupting their movie night.
She was there because she wanted to see Josh Coleman. Another Mr. Wrong. Even worse, because this particular Mr. Wrong had a not-so-innocent past. Granted, he didn’t look the part. He didn’t look like the cowboy who wore the black hat in those old westerns her mom used to watch on TV. He looked like the guy who wore the white hat; the hero, not the villain.
She needed to go home. Really, though, what was the harm of going in? She could always say a quick hello to April—and yes, to Josh, too. It would take all of five minutes, probably even less. She could tell him the truth, that she’d gone out to dinner with her mother and hadn’t been able to make it in time for the party. Unless, of course, she got inside and everyone was too wrapped up in the movie, and she could leave before even being seen.
As far as the east is from the west…
Drinking in a shaky breath, she walked into the church building. The sanctuary was beyond a pair of closed doors, and what sounded like a crowd talking was coming from the far end of the hallway to her right.
I just want you to be aware of…what he went through before he came to know Jesus.
Whatever he had been, Josh Coleman was a Christian now. It wasn’t fair to judge him by his past, particularly when she didn’t know him well enough for that. Entering the room, which looked like a large dining room that the church must have used for special dinners, Valerie saw that the movie was over. About seventy people had come to the event, and as was often the case in churches, people weren’t just hurrying off, instead lingering to chat. She could smell the distinct aroma of buttery popcorn which must have been made to accompany the Christian moviegoers.
To her left, standing in a small circle of about five people, Josh stood. He was looking directly at her, having spotted her coming in through the door immediately. It was as if he’d been waiting for her all evening. She smiled and waved at him, supposing that would be it, that he would wave back politely and continue his conversation with his friends. Instead, she watched him excuse himself from the small circle and head toward her.
“Hey—you got here after all!” he exclaimed, his face lighting up with a friendly smile. “But you’re a little late. You missed the movie.”
She took a tentative step toward him. How was she supposed to greet him? He also seemed to hesitate, but only for a moment before he pulled her in closer and wrapped her in his arms.
A hug certainly wasn’t out of line. They weren’t complete strangers anymore; this was the third time they’d seen each other. Except that wasn’t like any hug she’d received from a friend in church. Automatically, her eyes had closed when her face had been pressed up against his shoulder, and she’d spent that moment breathing in the scent of his soap and shampoo, and enjoying the warmth of those strong, muscular arms. Respectfully, much to her chagrin, he ended the hug and dropped those arms from around her.
The movie. You missed the movie. Welcome back to earth, Valerie! she scolded herself.
“I was, um—was it good?” she asked, clumsily.
“Yeah, I—I think we all liked it.” Josh chuckled. “I’m sorry you missed it.”
“I am, too. But my mom and I had plans to have dinner together.”
“Oh, that’s okay. You just passed by to say hello then?”
“Yes. Just to say hi.” Valerie thought quickly, finding the small lull in their conversation uncomfortable. “And I’ve never been here before.”
“Ah, but you know April. You two work together,” he pointed out.
“She told you?”
“Yes. She’s not here tonight, though. I think she and her husband had dinner plans, too.” He paused and cleared his throat. “You look very pretty tonight, Valerie.”
And you look good, too. Good enough for another hug!
She smiled shyly. “Thanks. I guess I came really late because you’re all just about wrapping up now.”
“Yeah, and I’m going to be getting up early tomorrow, so I’m not staying very long after this. Going fishing tomorrow. Off the pier this time. You wanna come with me?”
This was it: the perfect time to let him know that there was nothing between them. That she wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, that she was already involved in a serious relationship, sort of. It was complicated. Whichever the case, she wanted Josh Coleman’s friendship and nothing more. That was the message coming across, loud and clear, from her head.
Her heart, which at the moment felt like it was doing back-flips and somersaults all over the place, was telling her a different story. She gazed back at him, dressed in his faded jeans and short-sleeved black T-shirt. Her eyes traced the cleft in his chin, his pronounced, high cheekbones, and his mouth, drawn into a half grin.
“Fishing?” she repeated.
“Yeah. Sounds good? Just you, me, and all those sneaky fluke. Let’s make sure they don’t get away. Nice way to spend a morning, huh?”
“Tomorrow? Off the pier?” While her mind was still processing the invitation and she was understanding that he was asking her out on a date, she replied, “Yeah. Okay.”
His smile became even broader. There was a light in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in other guys
“All right. Cool. Let me get your number and I’ll pick you up,” he said.
“I could meet you there.” That would make it less of a date, wouldn’t it? If she took her own car?
“I’d rather be a gentleman and pick you up, but if you’d rather use your car, then that’s not a problem, either.”
“Well, the thing is…well, once a month, I go—I go do something. It’s sort of volunteer work. I’d have to come home, shower and change, and then it’s only for an hour, an hour and a half in the afternoon—”
“You do volunteer work? Really? That’s fine. I can get you home in time to shower and all that.”
Lord, how could that be true about him? What April said? In that moment, that fragment of time before her next words, she couldn’t help but wonder.
The reply came to her heart, and she recognized that Voice: Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.
He said he wanted to be a gentleman. Her mom was always lamenting that young men didn’t care to be gentlemen anymore, but then in fairness, she’d add that young women didn’t always appreciate those gallant gestures, neither did they always care to comport themselves as ladies. Her generation, she said, had been different. Nevertheless, Josh hadn’t been pushy about it, respecting her wishes, if she was more comfortable bringing her own car.
She decided to trust him. Bringing her cell phone out from the side pocket of her pink leather backpack, she told him, “Give me your number. I’ll call you right now and you can call me in the morning, so I can give you my address.”
CHAPTER FOUR