Under A Million Stars by Mindy Haig
“Descendant of the Serpent.”
“Yes. They say that as well,” she said quietly, stepping back from me, deflating.
“You are ashamed to be such?”
“It is the doom of my people, should I not be ashamed?”
I took her hand in mine and bid her to sit. I shared my tale of the serpent and told her why I respect such a creature. And I told her it was that title which drew me to seek her, to accept this invitation though I did know well it would anger my father and the Shah.
She looked upon me with wonder and love in her eyes.
“Why do you look at me so?”
“I have seen you before. It has been years. Our caravan passed through the mountains on the road to Siestan. There stood upon the crest a man, a King as surely as I saw him. He gleamed in the light of the setting sun and the great bird of fire sat upon his right arm. Such a sight he was that I knew in my heart I could love only that man. And here he sits, not just a man upon the mountain, but a mountain among the men. There is a beauty that I have never seen that radiates from you. And I do know this is a fool’s wish because my people live day by day under the threat that the Shah will finally repay his wrath upon us. Loving you can only speed our doom and yet, my heart is given. I did need to see you just once. I did need to know that you were not just a dream as your father said you were, but a man, a man touched by the hand of God.”
“So this is but our only meeting? Finally I have found something my mother wished for me to find and now it will be lost to me?”
“My Lord, it must be, mustn’t it?”
“My name is Zal. I was abandoned, left to die upon the mountain. I was raised by the Phoenix, and like a Phoenix I have risen from the death I was sentenced to. I will not judge a people on the deeds of one long gone from the world. I did promise your father that I would not stand against Cabul when the Shah sent his army, but I must do more than turn my back. I must be the hero the stars proclaimed.”
She did bite her ruby lip and wrap her arms tight around herself.
And I did fear that I had offended, that perhaps I implied Cabul had no heroes, which was not my meaning, so I did try to apologize. But she hugged herself ever tighter and I prayed that she would just tell me plainly how I did offend, as I was not proficient in speaking the honeyed words of men.
Ruby lowered her eyes from mine. Her words were soft. “Zal, you have given no offense. The truth is my heart is filled with love for you and each word that spills from your lips does nearly drown me in that love. I wish that I might feel what it is like to hold you in my arms and thus be held. I wish to press my mouth to yours and taste you, but I do fear that you will think me a deceiver, that I say words of love to bind you to my people. But that is not truth. I could die at the hands of the Shah now knowing that you are in the world.”
“I cannot let that happen. I will not. My father has made many promises to me to assuage the curse he laid upon me and I will ask him for counsel. I will have none for my bride if it not be you. I will be a warrior for no army that does destroy unjustly. I will let the world of men fall to ashes if they refuse to hear reason.” I took the ring that did have the stone like the sea from my finger and slipped into hers. “This is my promise to you. Keep me safe in your heart and I will find a way to make the world a just place.”
And then she did kiss me.
Women had touched me and done unto me things in passion that were strongly felt, but it was this feeling that moved within me like a living thing. It was as though another heart beat beside my own. I held her to me, my embrace tight and still gentle for she was part of me. We spoke words of love and hope sealed with tender kisses until the morning sun did shatter the darkness and I was forced to leave lest our secret be prematurely found.
But I was restless in my tents.
So much that I did call upon my mother to soothe me.
My words were rash but true, for she did tell me that the world of men would be a cold place if I did not find love there, and now I had found something I desperately needed. Were it denied me, I would return to my mountain and forsake all of mankind for all of time.
My mother did laugh at me.
Rightfully perhaps, but it did sting at that moment.
“Oh Zal, my beautiful boy, do you think the heavens have blessed you in so many ways but would you deny this thing that makes life worth living? Send a message to your father.”
“He is going to be angry. He has given me his word to uphold my wishes, but I am risking his reputation and his position with the Shah of the World. I do not know which allegiance he will uphold. He may order my death for a second time.”
“I tell you he will not do that, upon this you have my word.”
“How do you know?” I asked her cautiously.
And she did stroke my cheek with her glorious feathers and speak to me with a mother’s heart. “Because you are his son and he lost you once for which he cannot forgive himself. He will not be a fool again. He will use all means to uphold that which he does love, and when he looks into the stars he will see the glory of the path before you.”
“Is there glory for me?”
“Yes, my treasure, and for the son that is yet to come. But they will test you greatly in many, many ways and you must remember every bit of wisdom that you learned upon the mountain. I have seen the world die and be reborn, never have I seen another like you in this world.”
Her words gave me hope. There was no test or trial I would not undertake. If the stars saw fit to show my future, I would stand firm in my conviction, I would uphold this love that did consume me.
I would be prepared to face the Shah of the World when he summoned.
So a letter was written to my father and I did wait for the changing of the world to come.
7. Ruby:
How cold were the nights.
The King of the Mountain did hold me once and I could not find warmth outside the comfort of his arms.
I knew that I said I could release him, that knowing he was real was enough for me, but each passing day I knew those words to be a greater and greater lie.
It was many nights that I sit awake alone, looking at the ring upon my finger, wondering if Zal did change his mind, if reason did take hold of him and convince him that this love was not possible. But those thoughts brought me such grief that I could not hide my tears and my servants began to notice. They did again bring me roses freshly cut, hoping to ease my sorrow, but the scent and the sight were sore reminders of that which was beyond my grasp.
My servant who did love me best lingered a moment behind the others, thrusting her flowers purposely into my arms. She said not a word and bowed low as she turned away, but my heart sang with joy! Amid the roses was note; Zal was coming to me.
And my joy was threaded with fear that he would tell me we could not continue. That was not my only fear. He might well tell me the armies were coming. He might say he was leaving. But I wanted to believe that he might simply have wished as I did to feel the comfort of loving arms.
Night fell and I stood at the ledge praying for that moment when he would appear in the darkness. My minds eye did see every perfect feature from his snow-white hair to his cut crystal eyes. Even just in my thoughts I did swoon. And perhaps I should have feared him for he was like a mountain, broad of shoulder and thickly muscled, and I was still a maiden. But his manner was so gentle that I did not think of anything but the safety of his embrace.
He did not smile when he stood upon the ledge.
My heart sank.
He reached out and took my hair into his hand, brought it to his cheek and then kissed the scented strands. A moment later I was in his arms with my mouth pressed to his, wishing to keep this moment for a lifetime.
“Tell me all that is on your mind, Zal, please.”
“I have sent a messenger to my father. I have made my wishes known to him that I would have you for my wife.
“It is true what you say. But if your father does love you well, perhaps he will want that which makes you happy.”
“Perhaps. But I have known him for only a short time. I judged him based on what I knew of the world and the weight of his words. Now I will see if my judgment was good.”
“Is that how you judged me as well?” I asked him, as I pressed my ear to his chest and listened to his heart beat.
“Yes, Ruby, I did. For beauty such as you possess is a danger. It can steal a man’s wit and take all rest from him. It can twist his words and his mind. And I did fear such when I was told of you; still I wished to see for myself. But I did judge you upon what I know of the serpent for he is a brave creature with no voice of his own, only his fangs. He must confront that which he fears will kill him and though he will use wiles if he can, that is but the only other means he has to survive. You used not trickery, you stepped to me boldly and did look for some sign that I was what you sought and when you found it, you opened your heart to me in love. You confronted that which might be the doom of your people and you treated me with kindness, honesty and respect.”
“It was the markings upon your right arm.”
“Markings?”
“Where the Great Phoenix does perch.” I told him as I pushed his sleeve away and ran my fingers over the faint marks that I knew to be made by talons. They were not scars, but simply the sign of something that has been done by habit.”
“You truly did see me upon the mountain.”
“Yes. And I have held you in my heart since that single moment.”
“This must be the will of the Gods. It must.”
“Oh, Zal, do keep that thought in your heart for it gives me such hope,” I told him as I pulled him down and curled into his body.
“Rudabeh, I must ask something.”
“You address me so and I do fear it is a question I wish not to hear.”
“Are you certain your love for me is enough to risk you kingdom and your people for?”
“Do you not feel how I feel? Do you think this is such folly and I am but a fool?”
“I think none of those thoughts, my love, but I fear you will need great strength in the days that come.”
“I love you, Zal of the Mountain. I know well that my people and even my father do think I should be given to the Shah as a gift to appease him. And I know too that if, no, when my father does find out that my heart is given to you his last chance to placate the Shah will be to sacrifice my life at the feet of that man. But you know as well as I that a life bereft of love is not a life. If I cannot have this life with you then I will kneel before the Shah of the World and let my father draw his blade across my neck, for there would be nothing left to live for.”
“I will not let that happen.”
I did run my finger across his brow. “There may be no other way, my love, and that would not be your fault.”
“I will not let that happen,” he repeated, firmly.
And I did not dispute him because I wanted to believe those words.
8. Zal:
As always, my mother was right.
Love was surely the most irrational of all emotions, for even when I knew well that my actions could come to no good, I did proceed, because I did love Ruby above all treasure and more than the respect of the men. I was a solitary creature. I could not seem to find a place of comfort with the armies or the courtesans, but from the moment I did look upon Ruby the world of men did seem my home.
And she did look me over thoroughly, for her heart belonged to something which might be a dream. She did not look for a fair face or a title. She looked for the mark of a man raised in the wild. Yet she did not fear me. No. She did wish to see me anytime I could escape to her room. We did nothing but talk and dream and share affectionate kisses, for we could not let our secret be known unless it had my father’s blessing. But I did fear that blessing would not come and I would not see her disgraced for having relations with me.
So we did sit together and know brief comfort even as our hearts hid away the fear that all should end.
And at last a message did come from Siestan. There was not joy in my father’s words, but only resolve as he did tell me I was a fool to wish such alliance. Still, as he promised me when he came to my mountain, he did agree to uphold my wish and he requested audience with the Shah of the World to speak on my behalf.
And this is why love is such an irrational emotion, for I did laugh for joy when I read my father’s words. I did knowingly hasten the ending of the world by asking my father to get the blessing of the Shah upon me so that I might marry his mortal enemy. My father did rightly say I was a fool, and all I saw in his words was that he did uphold me and not order my death. And with that news I did think all would come to pass just as I wanted.
I shared my news with Ruby. I sent a message in the way we had become accustomed, but I got no reply and though I stood beneath her window that night, she did not come to the ledge.
My heart felt fear stronger than anything I have ever known. If we were found out her people were in grave danger, but more than that, Ruby was in danger. For once her father knew that I did ask the Shah to approve a union, she would not be able to be given as a peace offering, and the only recourse was to sacrifice her life. I could not let that happen, but I did not know if her father had taken her away from Cabul to see the Shah before my father should get audience.
I cried out to my mother.
And she came to me as she always did when I needed her. For she did steadfastly love me. I begged her to search the world with her bird’s eye and seek Ruby. I told her my fears and how my foolish love did bring this pass.
“Zal, love as you feel it is not foolish. Love like that is what changes the worlds for the better. And I do know, because I have seen the world burn because men could not find their hearts. I tell you this, the only host moving is that of your father. She is not gone from Cabul, but I will seek her for you so you shall know she is safe. And if she is where you can get a word with her, I will tell you how.”
I did drop to my knees and bow low to the ground before her.
She stroked my white hair with her golden feathers and said that I should hope for the best possible outcome and prepare for the worst, for what would happen would surely fall somewhere in between. Then she pushed me up from the ground and nuzzled her cheek to mine.
A moment later she flew toward Cabul.
9. Ruby:
I did not hear my mother’s servant as she entered my room, for I was lost in my daydreams. I was not one to while away my hours in such folly, but doing other than dreaming did cause me such stress. I wanted to imagine that there was a happy ending coming, because every other ending was devastating.
I followed blithely. I did not think about what my mother might want of me until I entered the room and I did see my most beloved servant bound and weeping. And she did drop to her knees and ask my forgiveness. I ran to her and fussed at the tight knots.
“Release her!” I demanded of all those in the room. “She has no blame, she only did my bidding!”
“What have you done, Rudabeh? How could you carry on so? You have doomed all of Cabul!” my mother reprimanded.
And before I could answer my father did also sweep into the room.
My mother handed him a message that was like every other message Zal did send me.
But I turned away and worked at the ropes on my girl’s wrists.
“What did it say?” I asked her quietly.
“His father agreed to speak to the Shah,” she whispered as she pretended to weep.
And I felt joy mixed with all the fears that were rightfull
He took me by the arm and led me from my mother’s rooms. He took me to his private sitting room, a place I had never been in all my years. He sat me in a chair and he did pace, but he did not speak.
And I offered nothing.
“Have you consorted with him, Rudabeh?”
“I have not lain with him, Father, but we have spoken.”
“Why did you do this? King Saam does...”
“King Saam told me he was just a dream. But I saw him, Father. I saw Zal upon the mountain and you did too. And we did both look in wonder at his glory. You denied him then. You denied my words and laughed with that man you hardly knew when you did know in your heart that the King upon the Mountain was real. You did gush and say many magnificent things about him when he stood outside our gates and hosted a feast for you. You spoke of him with affection and very nearly love, but I loved him from the moment I saw him on the mountain and I did need to look upon that man that my heart was given to. Zal is like no other. He is a hero in a world where men wish the title without the duties.”
“He is like every other man in this world, Rudabeh. He sees something beautiful and he wishes to possess it,” my father said sharply.
“How dare you,” I whispered. “You are not fit to judge him as you did see a beautiful face and the form of a God, when what he is inside is so much greater. He did not judge me for the face I was born with. He came to me because I am Descendant of the Serpent and he told me why that was so meaningful to him and he did give me great pride in the ancestry that I have hated all my life as you have hated it. He did not gush and swoon as men do, he lifted me up. He gave meaning to all I am. I am no man’s gift. If I cannot have a life with Zal then sacrifice me to the Shah. I will care not at all because there is nothing else in this life to live for.”