Wild Fling or a Wedding Ring? by Mira Lyn Kelly
Her desk phone sounded and she reached for it on the first ring. “Calista McGovern.”
“Amanda, here. What’ve you got for me?”
Cali closed her eyes while she rattled off the projections, numbers and status updates to her boss, forcing her concentration to the business at hand and away from Dr. Jake Tyler, whom it drifted toward without more than the slightest provocation.
Pretty much every call, text, e-mail or report with Amanda’s name on it sent Cali into an emotional free fall. And that was while she was buried alive with work to distract her. At home— Well, she spent more than her fair share of time contemplating what she’d done. What he might be doing. What might have been.
It had been two weeks since she’d left Chicago—two weeks since she’d kissed him, felt his warmth around her, drawn in the heady scent of his body—two weeks since this ceaseless ache had taken root in the center of her heart.
She’d made the right choice in leaving. Had to believe it, because giving in to even an instant’s doubt was more pain than she could bear. But the distance, the loss, wasn’t getting any easier.
Amanda’s voice brought her back to the task at hand. “You’re ahead of schedule, then. I knew you’d be able to handle the job.”
“Thank you. I appreciate your confidence.”
Her boss hesitated, then asked, “Have you spoken to Jackson?”
Jake. In her heart, he’d always be hers.
Cali slumped in her chair, hating the tightening of her throat and the tears that threatened to well in her eyes. “No. I left him a message to let him know I’d arrived.” She swallowed past the rising knot of emotion, took a deep breath. “Clean break and all that. It’s probably better this way.”
“He won’t talk to me about you. I worry— Well, never mind. How is London working out for you?”
Cali immediately pulled out the top report from the clutter of her desk. “You’ve seen the numbers—”
“No, I mean aside from the job. After you leave the office. The life part.”
Cali actually pulled the phone from her ear, staring dumbly at the receiver as though it could answer this question for her. There was no life.
Amanda’s voice was quiet as it came back over the line. “Have you thought at all about going back to Chicago?”
Pretty much since the minute she’d left. But what she’d had with Jake— If he couldn’t love her, the imbalance of their relationship would be too hard to bear. “I loved it there, but it probably wouldn’t be a good idea.”
Another sigh from across the ocean. “Well, if you change your mind there’s a permanent position opening under Aaron Lansing. I think you’d be an excellent candidate. And, before you ask, this has nothing to do with Jake. It’s just that eventually people in your position find a location they fall in love with and then find a way to stay there. Think about it.”
She had fallen in love with Chicago. And if she hadn’t fallen in love with Jake, then maybe. Only she had. “Thank you, Amanda. I’ll keep it in mind.”
A month had passed since Cali arrived in London, and almost as long since she’d realized she would never be a true Londoner. As much beauty, sophistication, history and culture as there was to be had—everything she saw, everything she did, reminded her of another place.
She was forever referring to the Tube as the El, the Thames as the Lake, and searching the skyline for architecture with its foundation at the far side of The Pond. Professionally speaking, the city had become another stepping stone. The new project another rung on the ladder to success. A place to regain her perspective, hone her skills and build her résumé. Personally, it had been the redemption she’d needed, but at too high a cost.
London was not a place she could stay. Everything she’d given up to get there loomed in the shadows of her achievements, like ghosts she couldn’t escape. Couldn’t touch.
Jake.
She was ready to move on. Ready for the next stop.
Pushing through the turnstile door to her building, she shouldered her laptop and headed through the small lobby to the lift that would take her to her fourth-floor flat.
She slumped against the side of the tiny car, blindly watching the floors pass through the iron grate as she let herself drift back to the easy curve of Jake’s lips and the low rumble of the laughter he gave so freely. Maybe she should call him again.
Her hand was fishing through her pocket before she’d even processed the thought, but as soon as her fingers closed around the phone she recognized her folly.
She didn’t know if he was angry or if he’d already moved on. If he missed their friendship or thought about her at all. The only thing she knew for certain was how empty she felt.
Her eyes closed against the familiar stab of pain that accompanied the tormenting visions of a life she’d sacrificed on the altar of her pride. Visions of waking in Jake’s bed every morning. Pouring him a drink as they listened to jazz by the fire at night. Laughing in his arms.
Loving in his arms.
She’d been so hung up on the words she’d lost sight of what had been right in front of her. The caring.
People talked of commitment all the time, only to have the relationship turn to dust. She’d been wearing Erik’s ring when he’d betrayed her. Jake had been married when he’d been betrayed. The words hadn’t mattered.
But what she felt when she was with him…the way he looked at her…some things—some people—were worth the risk. She just hadn’t been willing to take it. To wait. To see how it played out. And now….
She missed him with an intensity time and distance had yet to ease.
Hell. Her eyes were wet again, and her soul felt as if it was trying to tear free from her body. The lift crept toward her floor, groaning, it seemed, under the strain of her heartbreak.
Her hand was still wrapped around the phone. She pulled it out, and her thumb brushed across the flat screen, bringing up the first of too many ways to contact Jake Tyler.
Blinking back her tears, she swiped at the emotional leakage with her wrist and shook her head. For a woman so set on moving forward, she wasn’t exactly letting go of the past. The car slowed and Cali adjusted her shoulder bag as she reached for the grate—only to have it opened from the other side.
Her heart stopped.
“Hey, babe. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” The low baritone voice came like a midnight fantasy, riding words from what seemed a lifetime ago. It shocked her senses, slipping under her skin, warming through her body and confusing her mind like too much sweet wine.
Jake. He couldn’t be real.
Her bags dropped to the floor with a loud thump and her breath rushed out in a whoosh, leaving scant air for words. “I’m hallucinating,” she wheezed, certain this had something to do with a serious lack of sleep and an excess of longing.
The corner of Jake’s mouth pulled up to the side as he shouldered into the small car.
He couldn’t be real. Couldn’t—
His arm, solid and strong, snaked around her waist, pulling her into the muscled planes of his body in a mesh of hard against soft, so perfectly right imagination couldn’t have created it.
“Oh, my God, Jake.”
His mouth was a breath above hers, painfully far and teasingly close all at once. “Sorry about the ‘babe’ business, but it does have that possessive quality I’m going for.” His deep blue gaze held hers, searching, pleading. “Cali.”
The arms that had gone limp at her sides were jolted into use by her name on his lips. They shot up and grasped the loose lapels of his open trench coat, dragging him down to her open, desperate mouth.
Jake. Here. An ocean away from where he was supposed to be. She should ask him a question—say something—but all that mattered were his fingers threading into the hair at the nape of her neck. Tilting her head back, opening her wider to him as he sank deeper into the kiss. Filling her with his tongue, his heat. She melted against his body, her knees went liquid, and her be
His arms tightened around her waist and back as he straightened to his full height, lifting her from her feet in the process. His lips never left hers, never stopped moving across her mouth in that sensual glide, his tongue sliding over and around hers.
Heaven help her, she was drowning in the taste of him. The scent. The touch. He shot through her system, a mainline to pleasure, hitting her like a drug she couldn’t give up.
Her mouth moved frantically against his, breaking away only to kiss a new spot on his lips, around his jaw, his neck, ears, nose and eyes.
Again and again she kissed every spot she could find, tasting her own salty relief on his skin. She framed the chiseled features of his beautiful face with trembling hands, stroked a thumb over the slight stubble of his jaw. Met the endless blue of his stare.
“Tears?” he rasped in his husky tone, his gaze brushing her cheeks.
“Happy tears,” she managed. After weeks of agony, one minute in his arms had replaced it all with elation. How could she have thought she could live without him?
“Happy is definitely good,” he answered quietly, then closed his eyes and touched his brow to hers. “I’d almost forgotten what it felt like, but it’s coming back to me fast.”
Cocooned in the security of his arms, she felt a breath she’d been holding forever slip free, pulling the vise around her heart loose with it. “I’ve missed you so much… I thought—” She shook her head, looked into his face, needing to see him, to tell him everything.
Their surroundings caught her attention then—the small lift, her toes dangling inches above the floor. A quiet laugh escaped as a warm flush spread across her cheeks. “We should…my apartment….”
“Yeah.” The corner of Jake’s mouth kicked up in what appeared to be a grin. Then it was lost as his mouth crushed hers again, possessive and hot, blanking her mind of anything beyond the perfection of his taste. Too fast, it was over. She was on her feet, blinking wildly to bring reality back into focus.
Jake stood with her bags slung over one broad shoulder, offering his hand. “Ready?”
She nodded and slipped her palm into his, felt the warmth of his hold radiate up her arm, spread, tingling, through a body that had been numb to anything but pain since the day she’d torn it apart from the man it recognized as her other half.
“Definitely ready,” she answered, and led him down the narrow hall to her door.
Inside the two-room flat, Jake set down her bags. Cali watched as he navigated around the clustered furniture to the window. Drawing the shade to find little more than a facing brick wall, he turned back, a smile tugging at his lips. It was bliss to see him filling the space she’d occupied for the last month, the space where she’d fantasized about him—hungered for him, never dreamed he would actually be.
“Nice place Amanda’s got you in.”
She laughed, seeing the tiny flat through his eyes. “Yeah, I don’t think she had any connections setting this one up.”
He leaned a shoulder against the window frame, crossing his arms over his chest, his chiseled features relaxed, warm, as he surveyed her. “You been doing well?”
She waved a dismissive hand, suddenly unsure of her own response. “There are any number of ways to answer, depending on how I’m looking at it.”
Jake arched a brow at her. “I’m in London for three days, so I’ve got time to hear all of them.”
Three days. Only three. “Work’s been very good. We’re ahead of schedule.”
He chuckled, jutting his chin at her. “Of course you are.”
Cali shrugged, feeling amused until she met his gaze. The smile on her lips crumbled and she began to shake.
Within two strides Jake had his arms around her. He pulled her into his lap on the couch. “Ah, sweetheart, don’t cry.”
“I’ve missed you,” she whispered brokenly, a harsh sob catching in her throat. “So much. Every minute. I knew what I was doing when I left. I knew the choice I was making. But…the way it hurts…. I was so stupid. I thought I’d never get a chance to be with you again.” She choked over the ragged words, blinking in a battle against tears that had clearly already won the war. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I couldn’t stay away,” he soothed, stroking a hand down the soft tumble of her hair, the delicate bones in her back. “I tried. I really did. But life without you was empty.” Horrible. Unbearable. He’d been so angry when she’d left. He’d tried to close himself off from his feelings, tried to believe being apart was for the best, but he’d been a fool.
There had been no peace. No relief. Nothing but the aching void growing steadily within him from the moment he’d left her at the airport. Before that. From the moment he’d realized he wouldn’t be able to change her mind.
The hours had passed, and then the days. The weeks after that. He’d expected it would only be a matter of time until he was back on track, relieved by the return to the life of his design. He’d told himself Cali had been complicated. Messy. Everything he hadn’t wanted but had somehow gotten bound up in. Only it wasn’t true.
He’d gone out. With colleagues for drinks. With friends for dinner.
To the Jazz House for something—something he didn’t find.
The music had poured over him, only he’d been numb to the melodies, refusing to feel the heartache and hope infused in every long-drawn note. A woman had slid onto the barstool beside him and struck up a light conversation, looking for a little company. Sensual invitation had shone in her eyes as she’d mentioned she’d only be in town for the night. At one time she would have been a perfect diversion. Temporary. Sexy. Easy.
But no longer.
He’d left the club with his heart slamming against his chest, his soul an open wound. It wasn’t like it had been after Pam. Not even close. And it wasn’t getting better. Still he’d refused to see the truth. He’d gone home and gotten on the treadmill, determined to beat himself out of his ever-deepening funk by pounding through the miles until his consciousness had been reduced to the draw and push of his breath, the repetitive thud of his feet. Only no matter how hard or far he’d pushed, she’d been there with him. Hovering at the edge of his mind.
Cali laughing as she discovered a jello mold while riffling through his cabinets.
Cali stretching that languorous stretch of hers some Sunday morning.
Asking him what he wanted for dinner. Smiling as she caught sight of him waiting outside her office to pick her up. Sighing as she fell asleep in his arms.
They were regular things. Nothing particularly special or different about them. Nothing unique. Except somehow they were. Somehow, with her, everything was different. Deeper. Stronger. More vibrant and intense. More than it had ever been with Pam… Because with Cali it was real. Right.
More than he’d ever imagined he wanted. So much more than he could live without.
Sweat streaming off him, he’d slapped the stop button, doubled forward, struck by the singular truth of the situation. The agony of the realization that he’d let her go before understanding it himself.
Cali. Cali. Cali….
Even now, with her tucked in his arms, he could barely breathe for thinking of how close he’d come to losing everything.
He rested his temple at hers, closing his eyes and basking in the heat of her body against him. “I want to be with you. I can give you what you’re looking for, Cali. I was too scared—too blind to see that I already had. You have my heart. You have my future. I’ll give you forever any way you want it. I love you. Like I didn’t even know it could be, I love you.”
She met his gaze, and the emotion in her glistening emerald eyes shattered him.
“I love you, too,” she whispered. “From the first night, and a little more every day. I’m…lost without you.”
She loved him. His heart swelled, relief washing over him in a wave.
He shook his head, dropping a slow, lazy kiss against her lips before pulling back to meet
He broke off, stroked her face, met her eyes.
“I get how important this job is to you, that you had something you needed to prove to yourself. And I’m glad you did it. I needed time…to figure out myself.”
“Oh, Jake….” Her voice was cracking. But he wanted her to understand, not to hurt.
“But it doesn’t have to be one or the other, sweetheart. I can support you in your dreams and still be there with you, because more than anything I need you. We’ll make this work, Cali. Whatever it takes. Just believe in me.”
“I do.” She smiled, brushing her fingers through his hair, touching the shell of his ear, tracing the tendon of his neck. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, it took me weeks to rearrange my surgery schedule and bribe my old med school roommate into letting me pick up his talk at the cardiac conference here tomorrow.”
Cali slipped her arms around his neck. “You didn’t….” She half sighed as he nibbled his way across her collarbone.
“Mmm, but I did,” he murmured, his fingers drifting along the buttons of her shirt. “I’ve rearranged my patient appointments and my surgery schedule to be in London for six of the next eight weekends—with a few four-day stretches at that.”
She stilled in his arms and met his gaze. “Jake, we’re ahead of schedule. I’m leaving London in four weeks.”
Ahead of schedule. Just like Chicago. He should have figured.
“Doesn’t matter. I’ll visit wherever you are.” His hands slipped between the open lapels of her shirt, smoothing over the creamy skin it had been too long since he’d touched. “Where are you headed next?”
When she didn’t answer, Jake dragged his attention from the lacy mounds to her eyes. She was staring back at him with too much focus for a woman whose shirt was open to her belly button.