Wildest Dreams by Kristen Ashley
“The adela trees burn,” Lavinia whispered, all these thoughts flew from my head and I felt my mouth drop open as I felt my heart squeeze.
Then I whispered back, horrified, “No.”
She nodded, her eyes growing bright. “They do. The trees burn, our glorious, glowing adelas which is bad enough but this means the elves cannot rise.”
I closed my eyes and turned my head away.
The elves could not rise.
And they had no Frey.
I had no Frey.
If I lived to deliver him or her, my son or daughter would have no Frey.
I looked back at Lavinia and said with feeling, “That sucks.”
Her head tipped to the side. “Sucks?”
“Sucks, stinks… it’s awful,” I lifted a hand and rudely, I had to admit, circled it at her to get on with it but I didn’t have it in me to be polite. “What else?”
“Aurora is taken,” Lavinia said gently and I sucked in breath.
Then I let it out on a hissed, “Shit.”
“She lives and she is held captive, like us. Not here but far away, I cannot sense where. But… I am sorry, my princess, I do not sense your father.”
I closed my eyes tight and turned my head again as the hitch in my throat tore out in a wrenching sob. Then, I forced out on a stammer, not looking at her, “He’s… he’s… is he dead?”
“I am sorry,” she whispered.
I lifted a hand to my mouth and curled my fingers around.
I’d lost him again. Again.
Fucking hell once was bad enough.
Tears forced themselves out of my eyes and slid down my face as I fought for control but my chest heaved with the effort and my throat burned so much I thought it would disintegrate. It took awhile and a lot out of me but I pulled my shit together, wiped my face with my hand and looked back at Lavinia.
“What else? My girls? Frey’s men?”
She shook her head but when she saw my face and understood I misread her, she said quickly, “I do not know. I have not met them and therefore I cannot sense them. I can only sense those I’ve met or people of prominence, like your husband. I’m sorry; I have no news of them.”
I looked to Valentine. “You?”
“I was in their presence, my Seoafin, but I’m sorry, not long enough to know their auras and be able to feel them,” she answered.
“All righty,” I whispered, sucked in another breath then looked between them both. “Do you know anything else? Who’s doing this?”
I asked this as a key scraped the lock, all three of us looked to the door then it was thrown open and I couldn’t believe my eyes or stop my mouth from dropping open when I saw Broderick saunter in followed by his lover Phobin.
No.
It couldn’t be.
But it was. He was right there and he wasn’t entering to be imprisoned.
Broderick took one look at me, his face grew hard, my heart started pumping and he turned on his lover.
“What is the matter with you?” he snapped. “She is of my blood, she is princess and she sits in filth?”
“She is prisoner,” Phobin retorted coldly.
“She is princess,” Broderick shot back then turned to address the two guards that entered with them and stood at the door. “Take the Winter Princess to my quarters. Find women to draw her a bath, find her a decent gown and bring her proper food.”
“You cannot do that, Broderick,” Phobin stated and Broderick turned on him.
“I cannot? I’m sorry; I thought it was me who just became king of two lands. Did I miss something? Was it you?”
“I’ve told you. She is of the elf, the witch said so,” Phobin clipped. “We cannot take the chance she holds any magic and escapes.”
“She is my cousin and she is princess and she will not sit in filth,” Broderick returned and Phobin’s face went hard and his eyes grew so furious and so cruel not only I shrunk back but so did Lavinia and Valentine.
Then, he strangely whispered, “Come to heel, Broderick.”
Broderick head twitched, his face going blank for a moment before his eyes flashed, he glared at Phobin and stated firmly, “A king does not heel, Phobin.”
Phobin got closer, his voice got lower and he repeated, “Come to heel.”
Broderick smiled then and, speaking softly, returned, “You fool. Did you honestly think our play in bed translated to my rule of a vast kingdom?” Broderick got closer too and his voice got softer but not so soft we couldn’t hear. “Yes, my lover, I will beg to suck your cock and I will beg you to do other things with it but outside our bed, Phobin, hear this and know it, I rule and you come to heel or I’ll find a lover who will play like I like in bed and know his place out of it.”
Phobin’s stunned face had paled but Broderick ignored it and the three of us on the pallet, turned and walked to the guards, stopping in front of them.
Then he ordered, “Take my cousin to my chambers, she is princess and treated as such. Keep guards at the door and for the gods’ sakes, give these witches some decent blankets, palatable food, wine and water to wash up with. I do not reign like my father, learn that now and part of what you need to learn is that this treatment of women is unacceptable.”
Then he swept through the guards, leaving the cell and leaving behind a still shocked and immobile Phobin.
Then we heard from the hall, “Phobin! Come!” Phobin’s body jerked, he looked confused for a moment then he rushed out of the cell.
“Come!” one of the guards grunted at me and my eyes shot to him.
“Go, Seoafin,” Valentine whispered. “We’ll be all right.”
“Come!” the guard grunted again, starting to move forward.
I quickly glanced at Lavinia who smiled reassuringly at me then Valentine, who did the same and I set the cup I still held aside and started to get to my feet.
Then I turned to Valentine and Lavinia and whispered, “I’ll be back.”
Then I gained my feet, straightened my shoulders, tossed my hair, nodded regally to the guard and swept out of the room.
* * * * *
I tortured myself.
Throughout my bath, throughout the two silent women assisting me to strap on my underwear, pull the soft, woolen gown over my head, my boots up my calves and doing my hair, throughout my solitary meal and after, as I was alone in the luxuriously appointed but chilly rooms, I tortured myself.
I tortured myself with memories of the first time I saw my huge, frightening husband at our wedding.
And the first time he kissed me.
I tortured myself with memories of him throwing a dead dear on the kitchen table, pulling me in his lap and telling me I fit there and bathing with him in a hot spring.
And the first time we made out in bed together and how gentle he was with me.
I was wrong in my anger. He had been my gentle Frey before he knew me.
I tortured myself with that too, that I had forgotten and all I said to him prior to his death.
Then, when I could bear those particular thoughts no longer, I tortured myself with memories of playing cards with Frey’s men. Of Father’s proud cry the first time he saw me get a bulls-eye and his tight hug the second time he saw me do it. Of Skylar sitting at a desk, any desk, all of the desks he sat at, his tongue poking out in his concentration, looking so cute and boyish. Of my girls’ giggles and gossip and gentle care and how they took me in without reservation. Of Mother’s dry wit and small smiles and eyes that told you how she felt about you in a way you would always believe and never forget.
I tortured myself with memories of a ship called The Finnie and all that had happened aboard her.
I tortured myself with memories of strong hands guiding me on a dance floor while I wore a blood red dress at a ball.
I tortured myself with memories of touches, tastes and words whispered in my ear.
I tortured myself with every memory I could pull up of the best by far, the most beautiful by a landslide, th
So when the door opened, I was ready.
I was ready to do what I had to do for Frey, for Atticus, for Aurora and for Lunwyn which was rightfully mine to give to the child I carried. Frey’s child. The Drakkar’s child. The elves’ child. My child.
Lunwyn’s child.
And by my God and my husband’s gods, I was fucking going to do it.
So, prepared, I watched Broderick walk in and I schooled my face not to show a reaction when his eyes fell gentle on me and his lover trotted in obediently at his heels.
The guard closed the door and Broderick continued to approach as I sat in my chair, unmoving, my hands hidden in the folds of my skirt and I watched.
“You look better, Sjofn,” he said softly.
“You killed my husband,” I replied and watched with morbid fascination as he winced.
Then he whispered, “Sjofn.”
“You killed my husband,” I repeated, holding his eyes.
He stopped in front of me and looked down at me. “I’m sorry I needed to do that.”
“Can you tell me why you needed to do that?” I asked, my voice bland, flat.
It was Phobin who answered with an incredulous, “Why?”
My eyes didn’t leave Broderick as he turned to his lover and hissed, “Quiet,” then turned back to me and his voice was gentle when he explained, “Sjofn, I could see you were taken with him and he you but he’s The Drakkar, The Frey, he commands the fire of dragons and the magic of elves and he let it be known very openly that he would not hesitate to call his beasts in defense of you.” His voice became even gentler when he finished, “I am sorry, my cousin, but he was too powerful to let live.”
“You didn’t believe that then,” I stated and he blinked.
“I’m sorry?” he enquired.
In what I hoped was a good impersonation of Aurora, I regally inclined my chin to indicate Phobin and declared, “It was his idea. When we met in Middleland, you were pleased for me.”
“I was,” he whispered, watching me closely.
“So, tell me, why did you kill my husband?” I asked and he pulled in a light breath.
“Sjofn –” he started but I interrupted him with a wave of my hand.
“It matters not now, Broderick, he is dead. And my father is dead, I assume?” I waited for his careful nod, I took the hit of confirmation of this news and the further hit it took forcing myself not to react and I went on. “But you had different ideas back then, am I wrong?”
“Sjofn, I don’t think –” he began but I interrupted yet again.
And I did this with a soft, “You owe this to me.”
Broderick held my eyes. Then he nodded.
“I thought…” he started then concluded, “exile.”
“And why didn’t you follow through with this thought?” I pressed. “Was it him?” and again I lifted my chin to Phobin.
“He did, I will admit, point out the errors in my thinking.” Suddenly he crouched before me, made as if to reach out for my hand, I pulled back in the chair slightly but not slight enough he didn’t notice. So he gave up, rested his wrists on his knees and kept speaking. “Phobin knew, you know and I also knew but in seeing you so happy, I was denying it, but I knew that The Drakkar would not stay in exile long, no matter what magic or guard or –”
“The adela branch,” I stated, cutting him off again. “You and Phobin, you’ve been collecting sacred relics, articles of power to wield for this endeavor. It isn’t the only thing you had, is it, Broderick?” I guessed a guess that just sprang to my mind.
He smiled a small, actually un-freaking-believably proud smile before he whispered, “Always so clever, my Sjofn.”
“So you have relics, things with magic?” I pushed.
“Indeed,” Broderick replied.
“They would be more powerful if we had the branch,” Phobin muttered, my eyes slid to his angry face and Broderick tilted his head back to look at him. When Broderick did this, he clamped his mouth shut and a muscle ticked in his jaw.
I looked back to Broderick, waited for his eyes to come to me and asked, “You have a witch wielding them?”
“I do,” he answered.
I nodded once then stated, “This makes her very powerful.”
He inclined his head.
Right.
Well then, I’d have to deal with that later and hope to all that was holy Lavinia and Valentine could beat the bitch.
Moving on.
“Then, since you were considering exile, the attack in Houllebec, the poison at the Gales, this was not you?” I enquired.
He shook his head. “The attack in Houllebec was meant to take the life of The Drakkar but you were to be seized and held for ransom then let go. However, the kidnapping would have been a ruse. If this had been successful, it would have meant you were safe with no aspersions cast on us but there would be no imminent heir to the throne until you or your father could find another suitable candidate as husband for you and, in that time, we would have instigated our campaign to unite Lunwyn and Middleland.” At this, his mouth got tight and his eyes slid briefly to Phobin before coming back to me when he went on. “I left that in other’s hands and those chosen for this deed, fortunately for you and The Drakkar, were not very skilled.”
Phobin obviously was behind this maneuver and Phobin obviously fucked it up.
Broderick studied me with eyes back to soft then said, “This was before I saw the two of you together and considered exile.”
He paused for me to speak but I made no reply.
“The poison,” he continued, “was not me. I have allies, heads of Houses from both Lunwyn and Middleland. Until our current campaign, there was…” he paused then finished, “some disagreement about what to do with you and how to contend with The Drakkar. There were those who felt his influence, if not his power, would be diminished if he was not to sire a child on you, the heir to the throne, and therefore they felt, if you no longer lived, obviously, this would not come about. They also felt you were the easier target. And it is known The Drakkar had no ambitions to the throne and it was believed, if you were out of the way, he would continue with his business and, as was his wont, leave the politics to others. During your betrothal he did not show a great deal of interest in you. It was only after, when it became known he…” he paused again, continuing cautiously, “grew to hold a good deal of affection for you that our plans needed to be reconsidered.”
Grew to hold a good deal of affection for me. A convenient way to put it, the little, scheming, backstabbing piss ant.
I looked over his shoulder as if taking this all in then looked back at him and nodded.
Then I asked, “Do you love him?” and at my question Broderick’s head jerked.
“I’m sorry?”
“Him,” I motioned my chin slightly to Phobin and continued. “Do you love him?” When Broderick looked blank, I explained, “Earlier, you said you’d replace him and, you see, I loved a man and I lost him and I know in my soul where it burns so strong it’s a miracle I’m breathing that he will never be replaced.” I hesitated, held his gaze and whispered fiercely, “Never.” Then I pulled in a delicate breath and asked, “So, you cannot love him.”
Broderick’s eyes were soft on me and he whispered, “Sjofn, you are safe. I know you hurt but you are safe. It pains me, seeing the sadness in your eyes, knowing I’m behind it, but you know me, my cousin, you must know it pains me. But with time, I hope you will understand my actions. With time, you will see my vision for Lunwyn, for Middleland. My people could not go on under my father’s rule, you know that. Everyone does. And Lunwyn should never have been severed. Now it is again intact, I will rule and you will be at my side while I do. You will have my ear. I promise you, you are wise and str
I interrupted him before he really pissed me off. “I asked, Broderick, do you love Phobin?”
He studied me then he replied, “I do not understand why you wish to know this, my cousin.”
“It matters not why, it only matters if you do or do not,” I returned.
He sighed then he said quietly, “I hold affection for him but love…”
He trailed off and I nodded again.
Once.
I knew what I needed to know.
It was time.
So I whispered, “Then you will not mind too much when I do this.”
Then I shot out of the chair, catching Broderick on the chin with my knee as I did. He fell back and instantly I lunged at Phobin with the knife they’d given me to cut my meat at dinner. A knife I’d stolen and they’d extremely stupidly not checked to see if it was there when they took the tray away. A knife, throughout our conversation, I had hidden in the folds of my gown. Then, as Lund taught me (or told me since this was obviously not demonstrated), I planted that knife in Phobin’s jugular and yanked it across his throat, severing his windpipe. Blood spouted out and he started dropping to his knees, hands to his neck, eyes huge, face going white but I immediately yanked out the blade on another ghastly spray of blood, twisted, dropped to my own knees then held the knife to a still unrecovered Broderick’s neck. And he was unrecovered because he was staring in shock at the dying Phobin whose body was now jerking in death throes behind me on the floor.
“Do not utter a noise,” I hissed, his body went still and his terrified eyes came to me as he nodded and we listened to Phobin’s sickening gurgling as the lifeblood poured out of his neck and he gasped unsuccessfully for air. “Roll to your stomach,” I ordered.
“Sjofn –” he started but stopped with a squeak when I pressed the blade deep and blood flowed at its edge.
“I said do… not… utter a noise,” I hissed again. “Now roll to your gods damned stomach.”