Say You Love Me by Johanna Lindsey
Amazingly, they were in much better condition than would have been expected-aside from the scars they had been given. Raw wounds had been regularly tended before they were reopened. They'd been fed. Their cells weren't warm, but they weren't unduly cold, either, which had possibly kept down infections and the growth of germs. The stench they lived with and were accustomed to came from old congealed blood merely washed under the floorboards, and buckets for bodily wastes that were emptied only infrequently.
Only one of the women, a pretty young blonde, still had raw wounds and was the most terrorized. The others were covered in scars from their waists down, but they were fully healed and less fearful, since Ashford had stopped paying them visits long before. And what the caretaker did with them, well, it was nothing that they hadn't already experienced.
It could have been much, much worse, their minds as damaged as their bodies, if they hadn't already been accustomed
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to the brutality of men before Ashford found them-and -used to selling their favors for a living. Fully clothed, there would be nothing to show for their ordeal there. But they would know, and they would never forget.
And James was giving them their revenge. Anthony had fetched clothes for them from that room upstairs, old to be sure, but serviceable for the time being. They had declined wearing them-yet.
The oldest among them explained, "He always stripped down before the whippin's. Blood splatters, ye know."
An excellent point, since James and Anthony had strapped Ashford to that same bed that Kelsey had occupied before they woke him. The whips were there. The knife was there. And they left the women there with him. "They may kill him," Anthony pointed out as he closed the cellar door to block out the screams that were already coming from below.
James nodded. "If they do, then we'll give him a nice burial."
Anthony chuckled. "You don't think they will?" "I think they'll want to pay him back in kind, and that, dear boy, is what the chap deserves. I expect he'll be ready for Bedlam when they're done with him. If not, I'll have to take care of him myself, to keep Derek from doing it." "Hmmm, I agree, the lad's too young to go around killing chaps. Wouldn't want anyone to say he's taking after his uncles." "Put a lid on it, puppy."
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TER HER ORDEAL WITH LORD ASHFORD, KELSEY ALmost forgot that her Aunt Elizabeth and sister were in town and expecting to see her the next morning. She sent an excuse
to postpone their visit until later in the week.
That visit was going to be a trying, emotional meeting as
it was, endeavoring to keep the lies straight, undoubtedly having to come up with new ones-and missing them both as much as she did. She couldn't face that after the trial she had just gone through. Besides, Derek refused to leave her side, and she'd have a hard time visiting her relatives, whom he didn't know existed, with him tagging along.
In fact, it took nearly all week, and a great number of as-
surances that she was all right, to get him to relax his guard and go about his normal business. And even then, he wouldn't stop pampering her and treating her nearly like an invalid, until she agreed to speak about the incident. She supposed he felt that if she couldn't talk about it openly she would never really get over it.
There might be something to that, because it wasn't easy to begii, telling him everything that had happened to her that
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day, but it grew easier. Afterward she did actually feel better. And he'd had other things to relate to her as well, things that she hadn't been aware of.
She hadn't known the caretaker had broken his neck, hadn't seen his body lying there in the cellar, because Derek had kept her head turned away from him when they'd passed him. The other man who had been bludgeoned and left in the stable with Henry had been her driver, who was
going to be all right. He'd tried to help her, and for that Derek had added a huge bonus to his salary. The man would probably be devoted to Kelsey for life.
As for those poor women who hadn't been as fortunate, Derek's uncles had settled enough money on them so they wouldn't have to return to their previous occupations, wouldn't have to work again at all if they didn't want to. The Malory brothers didn't have to do that. It had been very nice of them that they did.
And Lord Ashford, well, she wasn't a bit surprised to hear that he was totally insane, since he'd already been very close to it. But what had pushed him beyond the brink did surprise her. "He's been admitted to Bedlam, where he won't be leaving, now that his mind is completely gone," Derek had told her several days later. "My Uncle James turned those women
loose on him, you see, and well, they gave him back what he'd given them-and then some."
Kelsey didn't mention that she'd probably have turned him into a eunuch as well, if she'd been one of those women. Derek didn't mention that one of the women had thought of that.
And then the morning came when she couldn't delay visiting her aunt and sister any longer. And it was as emotionally exhausting and upsetting as she had suspected it would be. The hardest part, which she hadn't expected at all, had
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been keeping Derek out of her conversation. Amazingly, his name kept coming to the tip of her tongue quite naturally, and she kept having to bite it back each time.
She got through the visit without making any mistakes. However, she went home quite upset over the whole affair and stayed upset all day. And unfortunately, that night was
when Derek asked her to marry him.
They were having dinner. She had just taken a sip of red wine. It was fortunate the tablecloth was dark blue. It wouldn't show the stain too much. "Sorry." Derek grinned sheepishly. "Didn't mean to startle vou like that."
Startle her? Shock was more like it. "That isn't something to jest about," she admonished, frowning at him. "That isn't something I would jest about." "But you can't be serious!" "Why not?" "Don't be obtuse, Derek. You know why. I'm your mistress. A lord in your position doesn't marry his mistress. It simply isn't done." "It'll be done if I want it to be done."
That was such a ridiculously ... stubborn statement, she almost rolled her eyes. But she was too upset by the subject to find anything amusing about it.
Of course, she'd love to marry him. She couldn't think of anything she'd like to do, more. But she knew as well as he did that it was impossible. And that he'd brought it up to begin with made her angry. How dare he tempt her?
It didn't matter that she was a quite suitable match for him, or at least she had been before she'd sold herself in a house of ill repute in a room full of London lords. Selling herself had made her utterly unsuitable for marriage, even if he was the one who'd bought her.
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"I won't marry you, Derek," she said in a stiff voice. "And I won't thank you for asking me." "You don't want to marry me?" "I didn't say that, I said I won't marry you. I won't cause
you and your family yet another scandal." "Kelsey, let me worry about my fam-" "My answer is no, Derek, and it won't change. And I would appreciate it if you don't stay tonight. I would like to be alone."
He stared after her incredulously. She'd walked out on
him. And she was furious. He recognized the signs. She con-
tained it well, but she was bloody furious with him-because he'd asked her to marry him. And here he'd thought she'd be pleased by the notion, delighted even-he'd at least thought she'd say yes.
Derek sighed. He hadn't even gotten used to the idea himself yet, had only just figured out that he wanted to marry her, and that after a long week of fretting over some very strange feelings. What had started it was when it had occurred to him that with Lonny dead, and Kelsey aware of it, there was nothing keeping her with him other than her own
honor. There would be no fear now that Lonny would en-
force the bargain she had made. And she had to know Derek well enough by then to know that he wouldn't hold that bill of sale against her. She could leave at any time, just like a
normal mistress. That he'd paid a lot of money for her no
longer mattered.
And that put him into a bit of a panic. When he'd realized that he was panicked, he'd tried to figure out why. And the answer had come to him readily enough. He'd gone and fallen in love with his mistress.
It was a bloody stupid thing to do. Even he knew that. But he'd done it anyway. And he knew he didn't have to marry her. They could go on perfectly well just as they were-as
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long as she was willing to stay with him. But he didn't like that "as long as." He wanted permanence. He wanted to move her into his own house. He wanted her to bear his children. He didn't want to hide her anymore.
But she'd said no. And she'd said her answer wouldn't change.
By God, it would change-maybe not that night, though,
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REK STAYED AWAY FOR THREE DAYS. WISELY, AS IT happened. It had taken that long for Kelsey to calm down. She finally determined that his marriage proposal had possibly come as a result of the Ashford incident, because of how extremely worried he'd been over her during it. The proposal had probably been impulsive, too. And now that he'd had more time to think about it, he'd realized what a
fool notion it had been.
He didn't mention the proposal again when he showed up three days later, so Kelsey decided to leave the subject alone as well. Besides, after her anger over it had subsided, she'd actually taken it as a good sign, or at least as a sign that he was growing fonder of her than she'd realized. When a man
didn't tell you how he felt, it was nice to get clues that gave some indication, and a proposal of marriage was a pretty strong clue.
They made up, as it were, though they hadn't actually had a fight. And making love with him that night was a little more heated than normal, was quite explosive actually, and so prolonged that they both overslept the next morning.
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Kelsey arose first. Dressing quickly, she went down to see ,Vhat Alicia had prepared for breakfast, with the thought of ,ringing a tray up to Derek. She didn't have a butler as that was one servant she didn't ael she needed in her small household, especially since she [idn't receive any callers. And her footman usually saw to ihose duties. But when he wasn't around, whoever was downstairs and nearest the door answered it if someone knocked on it.
This morning that was Kelsey, since someone was knocking on the door just as she came downstairs. The surprise she received upon opening it, though, was quite unpleasant for that early in the morning. "I make quite a good detective, don't IT' Regina Eden said, beaming at her.
Kelsey drew a total blank as far as any responses were
concerned. Situations like this were not supposed to occur.
Hadn't Derek promised her she wouldn't have to deal with his family anymore? And Reggie walked right in, as if she didn't doubt for a moment that she would be welcome. And she wouldn't doubt it. They were fast friends, after all-at least as far as Reggie was concerned.
Kelsey groaned inwardly. And all she could think to finally say was, "How did you find me?" "Well, I went by Percy's house first, of course. Not this morning. This was last week." "Why?" "To see if you were still in town, since I was. Nicholas had some business that came up, so we've ended up staying longer than I thought we would. Anyway, I went by Percy's and the dear wasn't in, but his butler said he had no cousin staying there with him, nor had he had one any time recently. I left a message for him to come by and see me, but he never did. And I'm not known for my patience. So then I checked
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the hotels nearby, and I don't mind telling you, I made a complete ass of myself, showing up at one hotel that had a Langton registered. It wasn't you, of course, but some lady and her niece. And she even had another niece named Kelsey, too." "Imagine that," Kelsey croaked out. "My sentiments exactly. But they'd never even heard of Percy, so, of course, her Kelsey couldn't have been you. And after I exhausted the hotels, I checked with the better rental agencies, and they had no record of dealing with you or
Percy. But then-and I don't know why I thought of it, ex-
cept that Derek has frequently attended to business matters for Percy in the past-I mentioned his name, and sure
enough, he had just leased this house recently. So here I am."
Yes, here she was, and Kelsey didn't know what the devil to do. She couldn't very well ask Reggie to stay for tea when Derek might come downstairs at any moment. She had left him sleeping, but he tended to wake up pretty quickly once
she was gone, as if he could sense her absence even in sleep.
And damned if a door didn't open upstairs and Derek's voice could be heard calling out, "Where did you go, luv? You could have at least wakened me. Kelsey?"
He must have assumed she was in the back of the house and couldn't hear him, because the door closed again. Kelsey was about ready to expire on the spot.
Reggie had looked up, of course, at the sound of his voice, had no trouble recognizing it, and said now, "What's he doing here-and up there?"
Kelsey was blushing furiously by then, and when Reggi@.. glanced at her and saw it, she said "Oh" and started blushingl herself. But then the whole picture must have formed in her, i,
mind, at least a picture resulting from her own conclusions" because she added indignantly, "Why, that bounder! How dare he take advantage of you like this?"
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Kelsey groaned again, quite loudly this time. "It's not what you think-I mean, it is-but the circumstances aren't ... please, Reggie, just 90, before he comes down. I'll explain later. // "When later? This isn't something that I can just ignore, Vou know."
Kelsey didn't know why it wasn't, but she could see she wasn't going to get out of explaining. "I'll come by your house this afternoon." "You promise?" "Yes." "Very well," Reggie allowed, though she was still bristling somewhat. "But I certainly hope there is a good explanation for this, because it would be my duty to inform my Uncle Jason about it otherwise. Derek knows better than to go around seducing innocent girls of good breeding. Even our ra e ell uncles drew the line at that."
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DILEMMA-NO, ANOTHER DILEMMA-THAT KELSEY was not looking forward to facing. Horrid lies. Once started they escalated, one leading to another, and she was so tan-
gled in them she could barely keep track of them. And this particular dilemma she couldn't forestall. She'd promised Regina an explanation.
But which explanation to give her? The real truth? Or the truth as Derek knew it, which was just another set of lies? And she was so sick of the lies ...
She arrived at the house on Park Lane at around three o'clock that afternoon. She was expected, and was shown directly to a sitting room upstairs. A maid brought in tea. Reggie showed up right behind her. "I want to apologize for how snippy I sounded earlier," Reggie said right off, as soon as the maid left. "It was just such a surprise and-well, I'm sure you understand. And I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation. Why, I wouldn't even be surprised if Derek's asked you to marry him. That would put a whole different face on it, now,,' wouldn't it? I mean, Nicholas and I-well, goodness, listen
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to me go on, not giving you a chance to say anything. By the by, we won't be disturbed here-or overheard."
Kelsey smiled at that last. She did have to worry about being overheard-that is, if she made a clean breast of it. And that is what she wanted to do, more than anything, at least with this particular Malory. But she wouldn't do that, not
Reggie sat down across from Kelsey, now that she'd fallen silent, and poured them each tea. She was waiting for Kelsey to begin, patiently, too. Kelsey was still searching for the right words. But there were none-at least, none to make this any easier. "Actually," Kelsey finally began, "Derek has asked me to
marry him."
Reggie beamed happily. "I knew-" "But I won't, and I told him so." Reggie blinked. "Why not?"' "Because of how he acquired me. You see, what you were
told about me, it was all a lie. But he didn't know what else to tell you at the time. He didn't know you and I had already met previously." "What was a lie?" "I'm not Percy's cousin," Kelsey admitted. "I'm Derek's mistress."
Reggie rolled her eyes and said dryly, "I've already gathered that." "No, what I mean is, I was already his mistress when I first met you. He bought me at an auction in a house of ill repute, one frequented by many lords of his acquaintance. That's why I won't marry him. The scandal of such a mar-
riage would be horrendous."
Reggie took a moment to absorb that, but then said, "'Scandal is nothing new to my family-but what the devil were
You doing in a place like that? And if you try to tell me you
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aren't a lady, that you belonged there, I'll toss you out of my house on your ear."
Kelsey's eye's widened, but then she burst out laughing. It felt very good indeed, certainly wasn't what she had gone there expecting to do.
She was still smiling when she said, "No, I wouldn't try to tell you that. Actually, I would like to tell you the truth, but I can't-that is, not unless you promise it won't go any further. Not even your husband can know 'Reggie. And cer-
tainly not Derek. If he does, he would insist on marrying me, and I care too much for him to bring that kind of scandal down on him." "But you and Derek are-what I mean is, well, why doesn't he at least know?" "Because I haven't told him, nor will 1. He doesn't know anything about me, really, other than the few lies I've told him. When I made the decision to do what I did, I had to come up with a new background for myself to protect my own family from the scandal that would evolve if it was ever