Secret Fire by Johanna Lindsey
“Your man had a little trouble finding me, since I was with a certain countess on her estate and didn’t want to be found. Couldn’t have it getting back to the husband that she was entertaining without his knowledge, now, could I?”
“Of course not,” Dimitri said in all seriousness as he resumed his seat.
Vasili chuckled, plopping himself down on the corner of Dimitri’s desk. “At any rate, I stopped by Novii Domik first, thinking to find you there. And what the devil is wrong with that bear Vladimir? He wouldn’t even let me in your house, just told me I’d find you here and sent me on my way. And what’s he doing there anyway, when you’re here? I’ve never known him to be out of shouting distance from you.”
“He’s keeping an eye on something for me that I couldn’t trust being left unguarded.”
“Ah, now my curiosity is whetted. Who is she?”
“No one you know, Vasya.”
“Yet a treasure that must be guarded, and by your most dependable man?” Vasili’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you’ve stolen someone’s wife.”
“That’s your department, I believe.”
“So it is. All right, talk. You know I won’t let up till you do.”
Dimitri wasn’t being evasive. He wanted to talk to Vasili about Katherine. He just didn’t know how to go about it, how much actually to explain.
“It’s not what you’re thinking, Vasya… Well, it is, but… No, this situation has got to be unique.”
“Let me know when you make up your mind.”
Dimitri sat back, giving his friend a quelling look. “I am utterly obsessed with this woman, yet she wants nothing to do with me. She actually hates me.”
“That is unique, and not to be believed either,” Vasili scoffed. “The ladies don’t hate you, Mitya. They might become annoyed with you, but they don’t hate you. So what did you do to get on the wrong side of this one?”
“You’re not listening, not that I haven’t done everything conceivable to earn her enmity, but she wanted nothing to do with me from the beginning.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“You could say we met under the worst circumstances,” Dimitri replied.
Vasili waited for him to go on, but Dimitri had turned pensive, remembering, and Vasili exploded, “Well? Must I drag it out piece by piece?”
Dimitri looked away, not very proud of his part in this. “To be brief, I saw her on the London street and wanted her. I thought she would be available, so I sent Vladimir after her. Everything went wrong from there. She wasn’t for sale.”
“Sweet Christ, I see it already. Resourceful Vladimir got her for you anyway, didn’t he?”
“Yes, and slipped an aphrodisiac into her food. I end up with the most sexy, sensual virgin God ever created, and the most memorable night of love I have ever experienced. But the next morning, in full possession of her faculties again, she insisted on having Vladimir’s head for abducting her.”
“She didn’t blame you?”
“No, actually, she just couldn’t wait to get away from me. The trouble was, she made certain threats about going to the authorities, and what with the Tzar’s scheduled visit, I thought it prudent to remove her from England for a while.”
Vasili grinned wryly. “I don’t suppose she was delighted with that plan?”
“She is possessed of a glorious temper, which I have been treated to more than once.”
“So you have this lovely wench still under wraps, and still wanting nothing to do with you. Does that about sum it up?”
“Not quite,” Dimitri replied quietly, his expression bleak. “I made the mistake of leaving Katherine at Novii Domik, and I returned to find my aunt had abused her. If she didn’t hate me before, she does now.”
“This time she blames you?”
“With good reason. I didn’t insure her safety as I should have. I left rather quickly, for reasons I am too ashamed to repeat.”
“Never say you… No, you wouldn’t have raped her. That’s simply not your style. So you must have had her drugged again.”
Dimitri gave Vasili a disgusted look for his perception. “I was angry.”
“Naturally.” Vasili chuckled. “You’ve never come up against a female who wasn’t seduceable before. It must have been most trying.”
“Stow the sarcasm, Vasya. I’d like to know what you would do faced with similar circumstances. Katherine is the most stubborn, argumentative, pretentious woman I know, and yet I can’t be in the same room with her without wanting to carry her off to the nearest bed. And the most irritating, the most frustrating thing about it is, I know she isn’t completely immune to me. There have been stolen moments when she returns my passion, but she always comes to her senses before I can take full advantage of them.”
“So you are obviously doing something wrong. Is she holding out for marriage, do you think?”
“Marriage? Of course not. She has to know that isn’t possible—” Dimitri paused, frowning. “On the other hand, with her delusions, she just might think it is possible.”
“What delusions?”
“Didn’t I mention she lays claim to being Lady Katherine St. John, daughter of the Earl of Strafford?”
“No, but what makes you think she isn’t?”
“She was found walking the street, in the dress of a commoner, and without escort. What conclusion would you draw, Vasya?”
“I see your point,” Vasili said thoughtfully. “But why would she make this claim?”
“Because she knows enough about the family to get away with it. It’s quite likely she’s the Earl’s natural daughter, but that still doesn’t make her marriageable.”
“So, if marriage is out of the question, what is the second thing she could want?”
“Nothing. She wants absolutely nothing from me.”
“Come now, Mitya, every woman wants something. And it sounds to me as if this one just wants to be treated like a lady for a change.”
“You mean I should pretend I believe her?”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but—”
“You’re right! I should bring her to the city, take her to parties, escort her—”
“Mitya! Am I mistaken, or are you here in Moscow because Tatiana Ivanova is in Moscow?”
“Damn!” Dimitri slumped back in his chair again.
“That’s what I thought. So shouldn’t you get a firm commitment from the Princess before you are seen adoring someone else? After all, it is expected that you will have your mistresses, but not while you are pursuing your future bride. I don’t think Tatiana would take too kindly to that. What are you doing home, anyway, when she is at the Andreyev party tonight, and with your old friend Lysenko? For that matter, what is she doing with him, when you are back?”
“I haven’t gone to see her yet,” Dimitri admitted.
“How long have you been here?”
“Eight days.”
Vasili’s eyes shot to the ceiling. “He’s counting the days. For God’s sake, Mitya, if you miss your Katherine that much, send for her, keep her here under wraps until you have Tatiana’s answer.”
Dimitri shook his head. “No, when Katherine is around, she’s all I can think about.”
“It seems to me she’s all you can think about whether she’s here or not. You’ve been procrastinating, Mitya.”
“What I have been, Vasya, is miserable, and no fit company for anyone. But you have made your point. I need to get this marriage business out of the way first before I can resolve anything with Katya.”
Chapter Thirty-three
“Grigori, isn’t that Prince Dimitri just coming in?” Tatiana asked as they waltzed across the dance floor.
Grigori Lysenko stiffened, turning Tatiana around so that he could face the entryway. “So it is,” he replied tightly. “I suppose you will no longer be available, now that Alexandrov is back?”
“Whyever would you say that?” She smiled up at him innocently.
“Y
“Is it?” Tatiana frowned, unaware of this.
“But it is too bad of him not to have sought you out until now, when everyone knows he has been in Moscow for a week,” Grigori added deliberately.
Tatiana set her teeth. She didn’t need to be reminded of that, which she was aware of. Her own sister had pointed out that Dimitri’s obvious lack of eagerness to see her was rather insulting. Tatiana had been furious. And now Grigori said much the same thing.
“It has been wondered if he hasn’t changed his mind about offering for you.”
“So what if he has? Do you think I really care?”
But she did care. She cared too much. All she had wanted was to have Dimitri exclusively to herself for a while, and she could count on that only during their courtship. Once they were married, he was bound to lose interest, bound to go his own way, as every other husband did. There would be other women who would claim more of her husband’s time than she would, for she would be the woman he had already won, safely stored away at home to visit or not as he chose, while the excitement of the chase would be elsewhere.
It didn’t occur to her that she could make his life so interesting at home that he wouldn’t think to wander. Tatiana was of the opinion that all men were alike, a general misconception shared by most women. She was also quite selfish when it came to her own needs, and had thought nothing of Dimitri’s frustration while she had played him along.
Now she wasn’t so sure her strategy had been at all wise. Was it too much to ask to have Dimitri’s complete attention for a few months? Had she made him wait too long? If he was no longer interested, she would be made to look a fool, whereas before she had been the envy of every woman in Russia.
It couldn’t be borne. To have people whispering behind her back, pitying her, or worse, thinking she had got no more than she deserved. Everyone knew Dimitri had asked her to marry him, she had made sure of that. Everyone knew she had made him wait for her answer. They wouldn’t blame him for withdrawing his proposal. She had kept him dangling for months. It would be her fault, all her fault.
Of course she had Grigori here, and half a dozen other admirers to fall back on, all of whom professed to love her madly. But that wouldn’t be any consolation if Dimitri no longer wanted her.
Tatiana waited, waited for Dimitri to notice her, waited for him to cut in on her dance with Grigori. He didn’t come forward. He did notice her and nodded in her direction, but went right on conversing with Prince Dashkov and several other men who had greeted him when he came in.
As soon as the dance ended, Tatiana leaned closer to her partner to whisper, “Grigori, would you take me over to him?”
“You ask too much, Princess.” Grigori could no longer conceal his disappointment. “I am not a graceful loser.”
“Please, Grigori. I think you will be pleased with what I have to say to him.”
He stared at her for a moment, noting her anxiety, her heightened color, and also the determined gleam in her eyes. She was so ethereal in her loveliness. He had set out to win her in order to steal her from Alexandrov, but had made the mistake of falling in love with her in the bargain. What could she tell his rival that would please him? Or was she just using him? He had to know one way or the other.
Nodding curtly, he took her elbow and led her over to the group of men who parted and drifted away when they saw who she was, all except Alexandrov’s closest chum, Dashkov. He just stood there grinning, not trying in the least to conceal his interest in this reunion.
“Mitya, how good it is to see you again.” Tatiana smiled up at Dimitri.
“Tatiana. Lovely as ever, I see,” Dimitri replied, accepting her proffered hand and brushing a light kiss against the knuckles.
She waited, waited again for him to make some indication, to say something, anything, that would tell her he still wanted to marry her. He said nothing, not an apology for not seeking her out sooner, not that he had missed her, not that he was delighted to see her, nothing. He left her no choice.
“I believe you know Count Grigori, my fiancé.”
“Fiancé?” Dimitri repeated, one brow raising the tiniest bit.
Tatiana moved closer to Grigori, who had the sense to put his arm about her waist, confirming this surprising news. “Yes, I do hope you aren’t too disappointed, Mitya. But when you left so suddenly, sending me that short little missive saying you didn’t know when you would be back, what was I to think? A lady can’t be expected to wait forever.”
Dimitri nearly choked on that one, but didn’t want to insult the lady. “Then I must simply congratulate you both, I suppose.”
He offered his hand to Grigori, the gentlemanly thing to do under the circumstances, but the man couldn’t resist saying, “Too bad, Alexandrov. The best man won, eh?”
“If you think so, Lysenko.”
That was all, Tatiana realized. No anger, no jealousy. She had done the right thing. He wouldn’t have asked her to marry him again. She had lost him before he had even returned to Russia. But this way, she wasn’t made to look a fool. She had prevented that, even if it was by committing herself to a man she didn’t love. Then again, she could always get out of that commitment later.
“I’m so glad you understand, Mitya” were Tatiana’s last words before dragging Grigori away.
“You know you could have prevented that, don’t you?” Vasili said from beside Dimitri, his voice heavy with disgust.
“You think so?”
“Come off it, Mitya. She stood right there and waited for some sign of affection from you. You know damn well she hadn’t accepted his proposal before that very moment. You saw the look of surprise on his face. It was as much news to him as it was to you.”
“So it was.”
Vasili grabbed Dimitri and turned him so that they were face to face. “I don’t believe it. You’re relieved, aren’t you?”
“As a matter of fact, my shoulders do feel much lighter.” Dimitri grinned.
“I don’t believe this,” Vasili repeated. “Six months ago, you tell me that she is the woman you are going to marry before the year is out, that you’ll have your heir by next year. Nothing was going to stop you, you said. You made an all-out campaign to win her and became enraged because you couldn’t pin her down to an answer. In fact you were in a constant rage over her vacillation. Am I right or am I wrong?”
“You needn’t labor the point, Vasya.”
“Then would you mind telling me why you’re so delighted she has thrown you over? And don’t you dare tell me it has anything to do with that wench you’re pining over. Marriage has nothing to do with love. Tatiana was a most suitable match for you. You didn’t have to love her. Sweet Christ, she is the most beautiful woman in Russia! She could have a pea for a brain and still be desirable. And her bloodline is impeccable. She was perfect for you. Your aunt thought so too.”
“Enough, Vasya. You’re acting as if you have just lost her.”
“Well, damn it all, if you had to get yourself married, I wanted you to have the best. I thought that was your intention as well. Or is it no longer imperative that you marry and produce an heir? Have you heard something about Misha, that perhaps—”
“Don’t tell me you’re still hoping for the impossible. Misha’s dead, Vasya. It’s been too long to hope otherwise. And no, nothing has changed. I still need a wife. I just don’t need this one. To tell you the truth, the reason I was dragging my feet about resuming this courtship was I couldn’t see myself starting all over again, having to go through months of evasion and procrastination again just to get a simple answer, and being expected to dance attendance on the lady while she kept me waiting. I have better things to do than waste my time like that.”
“But—”
“Vasya! If you think she’s such a prize, you marry her. Personally, I find I don’t want to be tied down to a woman who does
“Your English wench again?” Vasili sneered, only to gasp, “You’re not thinking—”
“No, I haven’t lost my reason, though I can’t deny I wouldn’t mind being tied down to her.” Dimitri grinned, before sighing, “But there are plenty of other suitable women available, ones who won’t hesitate with an answer, so I can get this business over with. Any suggestions?”
“None that you wouldn’t find some fault with, I’m sure.”
“Perhaps Natalia can recommend someone. She’s an incorrigible matchmaker, so keeps abreast of such things.”
“Wonderful. A mistress choosing a wife,” Vasili said dryly.
“I thought it was rather a brilliant idea.” Dimitri chuckled. “After all, Natalia knows my likes and dislikes very well, so she wouldn’t suggest anyone that I won’t get along with. She can make this chore much easier for me.”
“You don’t even know where she is at this time of year,” Vasili pointed out.
“So I will just have to track her down. Really, Vasya, I would like this matter over, but I’m not in that much of a hurry. I do have other things to keep me occupied in the meantime.”
When Dimitri returned home, there was another letter waiting for him, this one from his sister…and not at all welcome.
Mitya,
You must come immediately to keep your promise. I have met the man I want to marry.
Anastasia
What promise? He had never promised he would be quick to approve her choice of husband. But if he didn’t, no doubt the minx would find a way to marry without his approval. What was her rush?
Damn, just when he thought he had arranged everything perfectly to give him more time with Katherine before he must send her home, or at least offer to send her home. The more he thought about it, the more he wished he could come up with an adequate reason to keep her here longer. He was fine at coming up with reasons to put off another courtship. Why couldn’t he think of something that would prevent Katherine sailing out of his life?