She by H. Rider Haggard
XXII
JOB HAS A PRESENTIMENT
It was nine o'clock on the following morning when Job, who still lookedscared and frightened, came in to call me, and at the same time breathehis gratitude at finding us alive in our beds, which it appeared wasmore than he had expected. When I told him of the awful end of poorUstane he was even more grateful at our survival, and much shocked,though Ustane had been no favourite of his, or he of hers, for thematter of that. She called him ”pig” in bastard Arabic, and he calledher ”hussy” in good English, but these amenities were forgotten in theface of the catastrophe that had overwhelmed her at the hands of herQueen.
”I don't want to say anything as mayn't be agreeable, sir,” said Job,when he had finished exclaiming at my tale, ”but it's my opinion thatthat there _She_ is the old gentleman himself, or perhaps his wife, ifhe has one, which I suppose he has, for he couldn't be so wicked all byhimself. The Witch of Endor was a fool to her, sir: bless you, she wouldmake no more of raising every gentleman in the Bible out of these herebeastly tombs than I should of growing cress on an old flannel. It's acountry of devils, this is, sir, and she's the master one of the lot;and if ever we get out of it it will be more than I expect to do. Idon't see no way out of it. That witch isn't likely to let a fine youngman like Mr. Leo go.”
”Come,” I said, ”at any rate she saved his life.”
”Yes, and she'll take his soul to pay for it. She'll make him a witch,like herself. I say it's wicked to have anything to do with those sortof people. Last night, sir, I lay awake and read in my little Bible thatmy poor old mother gave me about what is going to happen to sorceressesand them sort, till my hair stood on end. Lord, how the old lady wouldstare if she saw where her Job had got to!”
”Yes, it's a queer country, and a queer people too, Job,” I answered,with a sigh, for, though I am not superstitious like Job, I admit to anatural shrinking (which will not bear investigation) from the thingsthat are above Nature.
”You are right, sir,” he answered, ”and if you won't think me veryfoolish, I should like to say something to you now that Mr. Leo is outof the way”--(Leo had got up early and gone for a stroll)--”and that isthat I know it is the last country as ever I shall see in this world.I had a dream last night, and I dreamed that I saw my old father witha kind of night-shirt on him, something like these folks wear when theywant to be in particular full-dress, and a bit of that feathery grassin his hand, which he may have gathered on the way, for I saw lots of ityesterday about three hundred yards from the mouth of this beastly cave.
”'Job,' he said to me, solemn like, and yet with a kind of satisfactionshining through him, more like a Methody parson when he has sold aneighbour a marked horse for a sound one and cleared twenty pounds bythe job than anything I can think on--'Job, time's up, Job; but I neverdid expect to have to come and hunt you out in this 'ere place, Job.Such ado as I have had to nose you up; it wasn't friendly to giveyour poor old father such a run, let alone that a wonderful lot of badcharacters hail from this place Kôr.'”
”Regular cautions,” I suggested.
”Yes, sir--of course, sir, that's just what he said they was--'cautions,downright scorchers'--sir, and I'm sure I don't doubt it, seeing what Iknow of them, and their hot-potting ways,” went on Job sadly. ”Anyway,he was sure that time was up, and went away saying that we shouldsee more than we cared for of each other soon, and I suppose he wasa-thinking of the fact that father and I never could hit it off togetherfor longer nor three days, and I daresay that things will be similarwhen we meet again.”
”Surely,” I said, ”you don't think that you are going to die because youdreamed you saw your old father; if one dies because one dreams of one'sfather, what happens to a man who dreams of his mother-in-law?”
”Ah, sir, you're laughing at me,” said Job; ”but, you see, you didn'tknow my old father. If it had been anybody else--my Aunt Mary, forinstance, who never made much of a job--I should not have thought somuch of it; but my father was that idle, which he shouldn't have beenwith seventeen children, that he would never have put himself out tocome here just to see the place. No, sir; I know that he meant business.Well, sir, I can't help it; I suppose every man must go some time orother, though it is a hard thing to die in a place like this, whereChristian burial isn't to be had for its weight in gold. I've triedto be a good man, sir, and do my duty honest, and if it wasn't for thesupercilus kind of way in which father carried on last night--a sortof sniffing at me as it were, as though he hadn't no opinion of myreferences and testimonials--I should feel easy enough in my mind. Anyway, sir, I've been a good servant to you and Mr. Leo, bless him!--why,it seems but the other day that I used to lead him about the streetswith a penny whip;--and if ever you get out of this place--which, asfather didn't allude to you, perhaps you may--I hope you will thinkkindly of my whitened bones, and never have anything more to do withGreek writing on flower-pots, sir, if I may make so bold as to say so.”
”Come, come, Job,” I said seriously, ”this is all nonsense, you know.You mustn't be silly enough to go getting such ideas into your head.We've lived through some queer things, and I hope that we may go ondoing so.”
”No, sir,” answered Job, in a tone of conviction that jarred on meunpleasantly, ”it isn't nonsense. I'm a doomed man, and I feel it, and awonderful uncomfortable feeling it is, sir, for one can't help wonderinghow it's going to come about. If you are eating your dinner you thinkof poison and it goes against your stomach, and if you are walking alongthese dark rabbit-burrows you think of knives, and Lord, don't you justshiver about the back! I ain't particular, sir, provided it's sharp,like that poor girl, who, now that she's gone, I am sorry to have spokehard on, though I don't approve of her morals in getting married, whichI consider too quick to be decent. Still, sir,” and poor Job turned ashade paler as he said it, ”I do hope it won't be that hot-pot game.”
”Nonsense,” I broke in angrily, ”nonsense!”
”Very well, sir,” said Job, ”it isn't my place to differ from you, sir,but if you happen to be going anywhere, sir, I should be obliged if youcould manage to take me with you, seeing that I shall be glad to have afriendly face to look at when the time comes, just to help one through,as it were. And now, sir, I'll be getting the breakfast,” and he went,leaving me in a very uncomfortable state of mind. I was deeply attachedto old Job, who was one of the best and honestest men I have ever hadto do with in any class of life, and really more of a friend than aservant, and the mere idea of anything happening to him brought a lumpinto my throat. Beneath all his ludicrous talk I could see that hehimself was quite convinced that something was going to happen,and though in most cases these convictions turn out to be uttermoonshine--and this particular one especially was to be amply accountedfor by the gloomy and unaccustomed surroundings in which its victimwas placed--still it did more or less carry a chill to my heart, as anydread that is obviously a genuine object of belief is apt to do, howeverabsurd the belief may be. Presently the breakfast arrived, and with itLeo, who had been taking a walk outside the cave--to clear his mind, hesaid--and very glad I was to see both, for they gave me a respitefrom my gloomy thoughts. After breakfast we went for another walk, andwatched some of the Amahagger sowing a plot of ground with the grainfrom which they make their beer. This they did in scriptural fashion--aman with a bag made of goat's hide fastened round his waist walking upand down the plot and scattering the seed as he went. It was a positiverelief to see one of these dreadful people do anything so homely andpleasant as sow a field, perhaps because it seemed to link them, as itwere, with the rest of humanity.
As we were returning Billali met us, and informed us that it was _She's_pleasure that we should wait upon her, and accordingly we entered herpresence, not without trepidation, for Ayesha was certainly an exceptionto the rule. Familiarity with her might and did breed passion and wonderand horror, but it certainly did _not_ breed contempt.
We were as usual shown in by the mutes, and after these hadretired Ayesha unveiled, and once more bade Leo embrace her, which,notwithstanding his heart-searchings of the previous night, he did withmore alacrity and fervour than in strictness courtesy required.
She laid her white hand on his head, and looked him fondly in the eyes.”Dost thou wonder, my Kallikrates,” she said, ”when thou shalt call meall thine own, and when we shall of a truth be for one another and toone another? I will tell thee. First, must thou be even as I am, notimmortal indeed, for that I am not, but so cased and hardened againstthe attacks of Time that his arrows shall glance from the armour of thyvigorous life as the sunbeams glance from water. As yet I may not matewith thee, for thou and I are different, and the very brightness of mybeing would burn thee up, and perchance destroy thee. Thou couldst noteven endure to look upon me for too long a time lest thine eyes shouldache, and thy senses swim, and therefore” (with a little nod) ”shallI presently veil myself again.” (This by the way she did not do.) ”No:listen, thou shalt not be tried beyond endurance, for this veryevening, an hour before the sun goes down, shall we start hence, andby to-morrow's dark, if all goes well, and the road is not lost to me,which I pray it may not be, shall we stand in the place of Life, andthou shalt bathe in the fire, and come forth glorified, as no man everwas before thee, and then, Kallikrates, shalt thou call me wife, and Iwill call thee husband.”
Leo muttered something in answer to this astonishing statement, I do notknow what, and she laughed a little at his confusion, and went on.
”And thou, too, oh Holly; on thee also will I confer this boon, and thenof a truth shalt thou be evergreen, and this will I do--well, becausethou hast pleased me, Holly, for thou art not altogether a fool, likemost of the sons of men, and because, though thou hast a school ofphilosophy as full of nonsense as those of the old days, yet hast thounot forgotten how to turn a pretty phrase about a lady's eyes.”
”Hulloa, old fellow!” whispered Leo, with a return of his oldcheerfulness, ”have you been paying compliments? I should never havethought it of you!”
”I thank thee, oh Ayesha,” I replied, with as much dignity as I couldcommand, ”but if there be such a place as thou dost describe, and if inthis strange place there may be found a fiery virtue that can hold offDeath when he comes to pluck us by the hand, yet would I none of it. Forme, oh Ayesha, the world has not proved so soft a nest that I would liein it for ever. A stony-hearted mother is our earth, and stones are thebread she gives her children for their daily food. Stones to eat andbitter water for their thirst, and stripes for tender nurture. Who wouldendure this for many lives? Who would so load up his back with memoriesof lost hours and loves, and of his neighbour's sorrows that he cannotlessen, and wisdom that brings not consolation? Hard is it to die,because our delicate flesh doth shrink back from the worm it will notfeel, and from that unknown which the winding-sheet doth curtain fromour view. But harder still, to my fancy, would it be to live on, greenin the leaf and fair, but dead and rotten at the core, and feel thatother secret worm of recollection gnawing ever at the heart.”
”Bethink thee, Holly,” she said; ”yet doth long life and strength andbeauty beyond measure mean power and all things that are dear to man.”
”And what, oh Queen,” I answered, ”are those things that are dear toman? Are they not bubbles? Is not ambition but an endless ladder bywhich no height is ever climbed till the last unreachable rung ismounted? For height leads on to height, and there is no resting-placeupon them, and rung doth grow upon rung, and there is no limit to thenumber. Doth not wealth satiate, and become nauseous, and no longerserve to satisfy or pleasure, or to buy an hour's peace of mind? And isthere any end to wisdom that we may hope to reach it? Rather, the morewe learn, shall we not thereby be able only to better compass out ourignorance? Did we live ten thousand years could we hope to solve thesecrets of the suns, and of the space beyond the suns, and of the Handthat hung them in the heavens? Would not our wisdom be but as a gnawinghunger calling our consciousness day by day to a knowledge of the emptycraving of our souls? Would it not be but as a light in one of thesegreat caverns, that, though bright it burn, and brighter yet, doth butthe more serve to show the depths of the gloom around it? And what goodthing is there beyond that we may gain by length of days?”
”Nay, my Holly, there is love--love which makes all things beautiful,and doth breathe divinity into the very dust we tread. With love shalllife roll gloriously on from year to year, like the voice of some greatmusic that hath power to hold the hearer's heart poised on eagles' wingsabove the sordid shame and folly of the earth.”
”It may be so,” I answered; ”but if the loved one prove a broken reed topierce us, or if the love be loved in vain--what then? Shall a man gravehis sorrows upon a stone when he hath but need to write them onthe water? Nay, oh _She_, I will live my day, and grow old with mygeneration, and die my appointed death, and be forgotten. For I do hopefor an immortality to which the little span that perchance thou canstconfer will be but as a finger's length laid against the measure of thegreat world; and, mark this! the immortality to which I look, and whichmy faith doth promise me, shall be free from the bonds that here musttie my spirit down. For, while the flesh endures, sorrow and evil andthe scorpion whips of sin must endure also; but when the flesh hathfallen from us, then shall the spirit shine forth clad in the brightnessof eternal good, and for its common air shall breathe so rare an etherof most noble thoughts that the highest aspiration of our manhood, orthe purest incense of a maiden's prayer, would prove too earthly grossto float therein.”
”Thou lookest high,” answered Ayesha, with a little laugh, ”and speakestclearly as a trumpet and with no uncertain sound. And yet methinks thatbut now didst thou talk of 'that Unknown' from which the winding-sheetdoth curtain us. But perchance, thou seest with the eye of Faith, gazingon that brightness, that is to be, through the painted-glass of thyimagination. Strange are the pictures of the future that mankind canthus draw with this brush of faith and this many-coloured pigment ofimagination! Strange, too, that no one of them doth agree with another!I could tell thee--but there, what is the use? why rob a fool of hisbauble? Let it pass, and I pray, oh Holly, that when thou dost feel oldage creeping slowly toward thyself, and the confusion of senility makinghavoc in thy brain, thou mayest not bitterly regret that thou didst castaway the imperial boon I would have given to thee. But so it hath everbeen; man can never be content with that which his hand can pluck. Ifa lamp be in his reach to light him through the darkness, he must needscast it down because it is no star. Happiness danceth ever apace beforehim, like the marsh-fires in the swamps, and he must catch the fire, andhe must hold the star! Beauty is naught to him, because there are lipsmore honey-sweet; and wealth is naught, because others can weigh himdown with heavier shekels; and fame is naught, because there havebeen greater men than he. Thyself thou saidst it, and I turn thy wordsagainst thee. Well, thou dreamest that thou shalt pluck the star. Ibelieve it not, and I think thee a fool, my Holly, to throw away thelamp.”
I made no answer, for I could not--especially before Leo--tell her thatsince I had seen her face I knew that it would always be before my eyes,and that I had no wish to prolong an existence which must always behaunted and tortured by her memory, and by the last bitterness ofunsatisfied love. But so it was, and so, alas, is it to this hour!
”And now,” went on _She_, changing her tone and the subject together,”tell me, my Kallikrates, for as yet I know it not, how came ye to seekme here? Yesternight thou didst say that Kallikrates--him whom thousawest--was thine ancestor. How was it? Tell me--thou dost not speakovermuch!”
Thus adjured, Leo told her the wonderful story of the casket and of thepotsherd that, written on by his ancestress, the Egyptian Amenartas, hadbeen the means of guiding us to her. Ayesha listened intently, and, whenhe had finished, spoke to me.
”Did I not tell thee one day, when we did talk of good and evil, ohHolly--it was when my beloved lay so ill--that out of good came evil,and out of evil good--that they who sowed knew not what the cropshould be, nor he who struck where the blow should fall? See, now: thisEgyptian Amenartas, this royal child of the Nile who hated me, and whomeven now I hate, for in a way she did prevail against me--see, now, sheherself hath been the very means to bring her lover to mine arms! Forher sake I slew him, and now, behold, through her he hath come back tome! She would have done me evil, and sowed her seeds that I might reaptares, and behold she hath given me more than all the world can give,and there is a strange square for thee to fit into thy circle of goodand evil, oh Holly!
”And so,” she went on, after a pause--”and so she bade her son destroyme if he might, because I slew his father. And thou, my Kallikrates, artthe father, and in a sense thou art likewise the son; and wouldst thouavenge thy wrong, and the wrong of that far-off mother of thine, uponme, oh Kallikrates? See,” and she slid to her knees, and drew the whitecorsage still farther down her ivory bosom--”see, here beats my heart,and there by thy side is a knife, heavy, and long, and sharp, the veryknife to slay an erring woman with. Take it now, and be avenged. Strike,and strike home!--so shalt thou be satisfied, Kallikrates, and gothrough life a happy man, because thou hast paid back the wrong, andobeyed the mandate of the past.”
He looked at her, and then stretched out his hand and lifted her to herfeet.
”Rise, Ayesha,” he said sadly; ”well thou knowest that I cannot strikethee, no, not even for the sake of her whom thou slewest but lastnight. I am in thy power, and a very slave to thee. How can I killthee?--sooner should I slay myself.”
”Almost dost thou begin to love me, Kallikrates,” she answered, smiling.”And now tell me of thy country--'tis a great people, is it not? with anempire like that of Rome! Surely thou wouldst return thither, and it iswell, for I mean not that thou shouldst dwell in these caves of Kôr.Nay, when once thou art even as I am, we will go hence--fear not butthat I shall find a path--and then shall we journey to this England ofthine, and live as it becometh us to live. Two thousand years have Iwaited for the day when I should see the last of these hateful caves andthis gloomy-visaged folk, and now it is at hand, and my heart bounds upto meet it like a child's towards its holiday. For thou shalt rule thisEngland----”
”But we have a queen already,” broke in Leo, hastily.
”It is naught, it is naught,” said Ayesha; ”she can be overthrown.”
At this we both broke out into an exclamation of dismay, and explainedthat we should as soon think of overthrowing ourselves.
”But here is a strange thing,” said Ayesha, in astonishment; ”a queenwhom her people love! Surely the world must have changed since I dweltin Kôr.”
Again we explained that it was the character of monarchs that hadchanged, and that the one under whom we lived was venerated and belovedby all right-thinking people in her vast realms. Also, we told her thatreal power in our country rested in the hands of the people, and that wewere in fact ruled by the votes of the lower and least educated classesof the community.
”Ah,” she said, ”a democracy--then surely there is a tyrant, for I havelong since seen that democracies, having no clear will of their own, inthe end set up a tyrant, and worship him.”
”Yes,” I said, ”we have our tyrants.”
”Well,” she answered resignedly, ”we can at any rate destroy thesetyrants, and Kallikrates shall rule the land.”
I instantly informed Ayesha that in England ”blasting” was not anamusement that could be indulged in with impunity, and that any suchattempt would meet with the consideration of the law and probably endupon a scaffold.
”The law,” she laughed with scorn--”the law! Canst thou not understand,oh Holly, that I am above the law, and so shall my Kallikrates be also?All human law will be to us as the north wind to a mountain. Does thewind bend the mountain, or the mountain the wind?”
”And now leave me, I pray thee, and thou too, my own Kallikrates, forI would get me ready against our journey, and so must ye both, and yourservant also. But bring no great quantity of things with thee, for Itrust that we shall be but three days gone. Then shall we return hither,and I will make a plan whereby we can bid farewell for ever to thesesepulchres of Kôr. Yea, surely thou mayst kiss my hand!”
So we went, I, for one, meditating deeply on the awful nature of theproblem that now opened out before us. The terrible _She_ had evidentlymade up her mind to go to England, and it made me absolutely shudderto think what would be the result of her arrival there. What her powerswere I knew, and I could not doubt but that she would exercise themto the full. It might be possible to control her for a while, but herproud, ambitious spirit would be certain to break loose and avengeitself for the long centuries of its solitude. She would, if necessary,and if the power of her beauty did not unaided prove equal to theoccasion, blast her way to any end she set before her, and, as she couldnot die, and for aught I knew could not even be killed,[*] what wasthere to stop her? In the end she would, I had little doubt, assumeabsolute rule over the British dominions, and probably over the wholeearth, and, though I was sure that she would speedily make ours the mostglorious and prosperous empire that the world has ever seen, it would beat the cost of a terrible sacrifice of life.
[*] I regret to say that I was never able to ascertain if _She_ was invulnerable against the ordinary accidents of life. Presumably this was so, else some misadventure would have been sure to put an end to her in the course of so many centuries. True, she offered to let Leo slay her, but very probably this was only an experiment to try his temper and mental attitude towards her. Ayesha never gave way to impulse without some valid object.--L. H. H.
The whole thing sounded like a dream or some extraordinary invention ofa speculative brain, and yet it was a fact--a wonderful fact--of whichthe whole world would soon be called on to take notice. What was themeaning of it all? After much thinking I could only conclude that thismarvellous creature, whose passion had kept her for so many centurieschained as it were, and comparatively harmless, was now about to be usedby Providence as a means to change the order of the world, and possibly,by the building up of a power that could no more be rebelled againstor questioned than the decrees of Fate, to change it materially for thebetter.
JOB HAS A PRESENTIMENT
It was nine o'clock on the following morning when Job, who still lookedscared and frightened, came in to call me, and at the same time breathehis gratitude at finding us alive in our beds, which it appeared wasmore than he had expected. When I told him of the awful end of poorUstane he was even more grateful at our survival, and much shocked,though Ustane had been no favourite of his, or he of hers, for thematter of that. She called him ”pig” in bastard Arabic, and he calledher ”hussy” in good English, but these amenities were forgotten in theface of the catastrophe that had overwhelmed her at the hands of herQueen.
”I don't want to say anything as mayn't be agreeable, sir,” said Job,when he had finished exclaiming at my tale, ”but it's my opinion thatthat there _She_ is the old gentleman himself, or perhaps his wife, ifhe has one, which I suppose he has, for he couldn't be so wicked all byhimself. The Witch of Endor was a fool to her, sir: bless you, she wouldmake no more of raising every gentleman in the Bible out of these herebeastly tombs than I should of growing cress on an old flannel. It's acountry of devils, this is, sir, and she's the master one of the lot;and if ever we get out of it it will be more than I expect to do. Idon't see no way out of it. That witch isn't likely to let a fine youngman like Mr. Leo go.”
”Come,” I said, ”at any rate she saved his life.”
”Yes, and she'll take his soul to pay for it. She'll make him a witch,like herself. I say it's wicked to have anything to do with those sortof people. Last night, sir, I lay awake and read in my little Bible thatmy poor old mother gave me about what is going to happen to sorceressesand them sort, till my hair stood on end. Lord, how the old lady wouldstare if she saw where her Job had got to!”
”Yes, it's a queer country, and a queer people too, Job,” I answered,with a sigh, for, though I am not superstitious like Job, I admit to anatural shrinking (which will not bear investigation) from the thingsthat are above Nature.
”You are right, sir,” he answered, ”and if you won't think me veryfoolish, I should like to say something to you now that Mr. Leo is outof the way”--(Leo had got up early and gone for a stroll)--”and that isthat I know it is the last country as ever I shall see in this world.I had a dream last night, and I dreamed that I saw my old father witha kind of night-shirt on him, something like these folks wear when theywant to be in particular full-dress, and a bit of that feathery grassin his hand, which he may have gathered on the way, for I saw lots of ityesterday about three hundred yards from the mouth of this beastly cave.
”'Job,' he said to me, solemn like, and yet with a kind of satisfactionshining through him, more like a Methody parson when he has sold aneighbour a marked horse for a sound one and cleared twenty pounds bythe job than anything I can think on--'Job, time's up, Job; but I neverdid expect to have to come and hunt you out in this 'ere place, Job.Such ado as I have had to nose you up; it wasn't friendly to giveyour poor old father such a run, let alone that a wonderful lot of badcharacters hail from this place Kôr.'”
”Regular cautions,” I suggested.
”Yes, sir--of course, sir, that's just what he said they was--'cautions,downright scorchers'--sir, and I'm sure I don't doubt it, seeing what Iknow of them, and their hot-potting ways,” went on Job sadly. ”Anyway,he was sure that time was up, and went away saying that we shouldsee more than we cared for of each other soon, and I suppose he wasa-thinking of the fact that father and I never could hit it off togetherfor longer nor three days, and I daresay that things will be similarwhen we meet again.”
”Surely,” I said, ”you don't think that you are going to die because youdreamed you saw your old father; if one dies because one dreams of one'sfather, what happens to a man who dreams of his mother-in-law?”
”Ah, sir, you're laughing at me,” said Job; ”but, you see, you didn'tknow my old father. If it had been anybody else--my Aunt Mary, forinstance, who never made much of a job--I should not have thought somuch of it; but my father was that idle, which he shouldn't have beenwith seventeen children, that he would never have put himself out tocome here just to see the place. No, sir; I know that he meant business.Well, sir, I can't help it; I suppose every man must go some time orother, though it is a hard thing to die in a place like this, whereChristian burial isn't to be had for its weight in gold. I've triedto be a good man, sir, and do my duty honest, and if it wasn't for thesupercilus kind of way in which father carried on last night--a sortof sniffing at me as it were, as though he hadn't no opinion of myreferences and testimonials--I should feel easy enough in my mind. Anyway, sir, I've been a good servant to you and Mr. Leo, bless him!--why,it seems but the other day that I used to lead him about the streetswith a penny whip;--and if ever you get out of this place--which, asfather didn't allude to you, perhaps you may--I hope you will thinkkindly of my whitened bones, and never have anything more to do withGreek writing on flower-pots, sir, if I may make so bold as to say so.”
”Come, come, Job,” I said seriously, ”this is all nonsense, you know.You mustn't be silly enough to go getting such ideas into your head.We've lived through some queer things, and I hope that we may go ondoing so.”
”No, sir,” answered Job, in a tone of conviction that jarred on meunpleasantly, ”it isn't nonsense. I'm a doomed man, and I feel it, and awonderful uncomfortable feeling it is, sir, for one can't help wonderinghow it's going to come about. If you are eating your dinner you thinkof poison and it goes against your stomach, and if you are walking alongthese dark rabbit-burrows you think of knives, and Lord, don't you justshiver about the back! I ain't particular, sir, provided it's sharp,like that poor girl, who, now that she's gone, I am sorry to have spokehard on, though I don't approve of her morals in getting married, whichI consider too quick to be decent. Still, sir,” and poor Job turned ashade paler as he said it, ”I do hope it won't be that hot-pot game.”
”Nonsense,” I broke in angrily, ”nonsense!”
”Very well, sir,” said Job, ”it isn't my place to differ from you, sir,but if you happen to be going anywhere, sir, I should be obliged if youcould manage to take me with you, seeing that I shall be glad to have afriendly face to look at when the time comes, just to help one through,as it were. And now, sir, I'll be getting the breakfast,” and he went,leaving me in a very uncomfortable state of mind. I was deeply attachedto old Job, who was one of the best and honestest men I have ever hadto do with in any class of life, and really more of a friend than aservant, and the mere idea of anything happening to him brought a lumpinto my throat. Beneath all his ludicrous talk I could see that hehimself was quite convinced that something was going to happen,and though in most cases these convictions turn out to be uttermoonshine--and this particular one especially was to be amply accountedfor by the gloomy and unaccustomed surroundings in which its victimwas placed--still it did more or less carry a chill to my heart, as anydread that is obviously a genuine object of belief is apt to do, howeverabsurd the belief may be. Presently the breakfast arrived, and with itLeo, who had been taking a walk outside the cave--to clear his mind, hesaid--and very glad I was to see both, for they gave me a respitefrom my gloomy thoughts. After breakfast we went for another walk, andwatched some of the Amahagger sowing a plot of ground with the grainfrom which they make their beer. This they did in scriptural fashion--aman with a bag made of goat's hide fastened round his waist walking upand down the plot and scattering the seed as he went. It was a positiverelief to see one of these dreadful people do anything so homely andpleasant as sow a field, perhaps because it seemed to link them, as itwere, with the rest of humanity.
As we were returning Billali met us, and informed us that it was _She's_pleasure that we should wait upon her, and accordingly we entered herpresence, not without trepidation, for Ayesha was certainly an exceptionto the rule. Familiarity with her might and did breed passion and wonderand horror, but it certainly did _not_ breed contempt.
We were as usual shown in by the mutes, and after these hadretired Ayesha unveiled, and once more bade Leo embrace her, which,notwithstanding his heart-searchings of the previous night, he did withmore alacrity and fervour than in strictness courtesy required.
She laid her white hand on his head, and looked him fondly in the eyes.”Dost thou wonder, my Kallikrates,” she said, ”when thou shalt call meall thine own, and when we shall of a truth be for one another and toone another? I will tell thee. First, must thou be even as I am, notimmortal indeed, for that I am not, but so cased and hardened againstthe attacks of Time that his arrows shall glance from the armour of thyvigorous life as the sunbeams glance from water. As yet I may not matewith thee, for thou and I are different, and the very brightness of mybeing would burn thee up, and perchance destroy thee. Thou couldst noteven endure to look upon me for too long a time lest thine eyes shouldache, and thy senses swim, and therefore” (with a little nod) ”shallI presently veil myself again.” (This by the way she did not do.) ”No:listen, thou shalt not be tried beyond endurance, for this veryevening, an hour before the sun goes down, shall we start hence, andby to-morrow's dark, if all goes well, and the road is not lost to me,which I pray it may not be, shall we stand in the place of Life, andthou shalt bathe in the fire, and come forth glorified, as no man everwas before thee, and then, Kallikrates, shalt thou call me wife, and Iwill call thee husband.”
Leo muttered something in answer to this astonishing statement, I do notknow what, and she laughed a little at his confusion, and went on.
”And thou, too, oh Holly; on thee also will I confer this boon, and thenof a truth shalt thou be evergreen, and this will I do--well, becausethou hast pleased me, Holly, for thou art not altogether a fool, likemost of the sons of men, and because, though thou hast a school ofphilosophy as full of nonsense as those of the old days, yet hast thounot forgotten how to turn a pretty phrase about a lady's eyes.”
”Hulloa, old fellow!” whispered Leo, with a return of his oldcheerfulness, ”have you been paying compliments? I should never havethought it of you!”
”I thank thee, oh Ayesha,” I replied, with as much dignity as I couldcommand, ”but if there be such a place as thou dost describe, and if inthis strange place there may be found a fiery virtue that can hold offDeath when he comes to pluck us by the hand, yet would I none of it. Forme, oh Ayesha, the world has not proved so soft a nest that I would liein it for ever. A stony-hearted mother is our earth, and stones are thebread she gives her children for their daily food. Stones to eat andbitter water for their thirst, and stripes for tender nurture. Who wouldendure this for many lives? Who would so load up his back with memoriesof lost hours and loves, and of his neighbour's sorrows that he cannotlessen, and wisdom that brings not consolation? Hard is it to die,because our delicate flesh doth shrink back from the worm it will notfeel, and from that unknown which the winding-sheet doth curtain fromour view. But harder still, to my fancy, would it be to live on, greenin the leaf and fair, but dead and rotten at the core, and feel thatother secret worm of recollection gnawing ever at the heart.”
”Bethink thee, Holly,” she said; ”yet doth long life and strength andbeauty beyond measure mean power and all things that are dear to man.”
”And what, oh Queen,” I answered, ”are those things that are dear toman? Are they not bubbles? Is not ambition but an endless ladder bywhich no height is ever climbed till the last unreachable rung ismounted? For height leads on to height, and there is no resting-placeupon them, and rung doth grow upon rung, and there is no limit to thenumber. Doth not wealth satiate, and become nauseous, and no longerserve to satisfy or pleasure, or to buy an hour's peace of mind? And isthere any end to wisdom that we may hope to reach it? Rather, the morewe learn, shall we not thereby be able only to better compass out ourignorance? Did we live ten thousand years could we hope to solve thesecrets of the suns, and of the space beyond the suns, and of the Handthat hung them in the heavens? Would not our wisdom be but as a gnawinghunger calling our consciousness day by day to a knowledge of the emptycraving of our souls? Would it not be but as a light in one of thesegreat caverns, that, though bright it burn, and brighter yet, doth butthe more serve to show the depths of the gloom around it? And what goodthing is there beyond that we may gain by length of days?”
”Nay, my Holly, there is love--love which makes all things beautiful,and doth breathe divinity into the very dust we tread. With love shalllife roll gloriously on from year to year, like the voice of some greatmusic that hath power to hold the hearer's heart poised on eagles' wingsabove the sordid shame and folly of the earth.”
”It may be so,” I answered; ”but if the loved one prove a broken reed topierce us, or if the love be loved in vain--what then? Shall a man gravehis sorrows upon a stone when he hath but need to write them onthe water? Nay, oh _She_, I will live my day, and grow old with mygeneration, and die my appointed death, and be forgotten. For I do hopefor an immortality to which the little span that perchance thou canstconfer will be but as a finger's length laid against the measure of thegreat world; and, mark this! the immortality to which I look, and whichmy faith doth promise me, shall be free from the bonds that here musttie my spirit down. For, while the flesh endures, sorrow and evil andthe scorpion whips of sin must endure also; but when the flesh hathfallen from us, then shall the spirit shine forth clad in the brightnessof eternal good, and for its common air shall breathe so rare an etherof most noble thoughts that the highest aspiration of our manhood, orthe purest incense of a maiden's prayer, would prove too earthly grossto float therein.”
”Thou lookest high,” answered Ayesha, with a little laugh, ”and speakestclearly as a trumpet and with no uncertain sound. And yet methinks thatbut now didst thou talk of 'that Unknown' from which the winding-sheetdoth curtain us. But perchance, thou seest with the eye of Faith, gazingon that brightness, that is to be, through the painted-glass of thyimagination. Strange are the pictures of the future that mankind canthus draw with this brush of faith and this many-coloured pigment ofimagination! Strange, too, that no one of them doth agree with another!I could tell thee--but there, what is the use? why rob a fool of hisbauble? Let it pass, and I pray, oh Holly, that when thou dost feel oldage creeping slowly toward thyself, and the confusion of senility makinghavoc in thy brain, thou mayest not bitterly regret that thou didst castaway the imperial boon I would have given to thee. But so it hath everbeen; man can never be content with that which his hand can pluck. Ifa lamp be in his reach to light him through the darkness, he must needscast it down because it is no star. Happiness danceth ever apace beforehim, like the marsh-fires in the swamps, and he must catch the fire, andhe must hold the star! Beauty is naught to him, because there are lipsmore honey-sweet; and wealth is naught, because others can weigh himdown with heavier shekels; and fame is naught, because there havebeen greater men than he. Thyself thou saidst it, and I turn thy wordsagainst thee. Well, thou dreamest that thou shalt pluck the star. Ibelieve it not, and I think thee a fool, my Holly, to throw away thelamp.”
I made no answer, for I could not--especially before Leo--tell her thatsince I had seen her face I knew that it would always be before my eyes,and that I had no wish to prolong an existence which must always behaunted and tortured by her memory, and by the last bitterness ofunsatisfied love. But so it was, and so, alas, is it to this hour!
”And now,” went on _She_, changing her tone and the subject together,”tell me, my Kallikrates, for as yet I know it not, how came ye to seekme here? Yesternight thou didst say that Kallikrates--him whom thousawest--was thine ancestor. How was it? Tell me--thou dost not speakovermuch!”
Thus adjured, Leo told her the wonderful story of the casket and of thepotsherd that, written on by his ancestress, the Egyptian Amenartas, hadbeen the means of guiding us to her. Ayesha listened intently, and, whenhe had finished, spoke to me.
”Did I not tell thee one day, when we did talk of good and evil, ohHolly--it was when my beloved lay so ill--that out of good came evil,and out of evil good--that they who sowed knew not what the cropshould be, nor he who struck where the blow should fall? See, now: thisEgyptian Amenartas, this royal child of the Nile who hated me, and whomeven now I hate, for in a way she did prevail against me--see, now, sheherself hath been the very means to bring her lover to mine arms! Forher sake I slew him, and now, behold, through her he hath come back tome! She would have done me evil, and sowed her seeds that I might reaptares, and behold she hath given me more than all the world can give,and there is a strange square for thee to fit into thy circle of goodand evil, oh Holly!
”And so,” she went on, after a pause--”and so she bade her son destroyme if he might, because I slew his father. And thou, my Kallikrates, artthe father, and in a sense thou art likewise the son; and wouldst thouavenge thy wrong, and the wrong of that far-off mother of thine, uponme, oh Kallikrates? See,” and she slid to her knees, and drew the whitecorsage still farther down her ivory bosom--”see, here beats my heart,and there by thy side is a knife, heavy, and long, and sharp, the veryknife to slay an erring woman with. Take it now, and be avenged. Strike,and strike home!--so shalt thou be satisfied, Kallikrates, and gothrough life a happy man, because thou hast paid back the wrong, andobeyed the mandate of the past.”
He looked at her, and then stretched out his hand and lifted her to herfeet.
”Rise, Ayesha,” he said sadly; ”well thou knowest that I cannot strikethee, no, not even for the sake of her whom thou slewest but lastnight. I am in thy power, and a very slave to thee. How can I killthee?--sooner should I slay myself.”
”Almost dost thou begin to love me, Kallikrates,” she answered, smiling.”And now tell me of thy country--'tis a great people, is it not? with anempire like that of Rome! Surely thou wouldst return thither, and it iswell, for I mean not that thou shouldst dwell in these caves of Kôr.Nay, when once thou art even as I am, we will go hence--fear not butthat I shall find a path--and then shall we journey to this England ofthine, and live as it becometh us to live. Two thousand years have Iwaited for the day when I should see the last of these hateful caves andthis gloomy-visaged folk, and now it is at hand, and my heart bounds upto meet it like a child's towards its holiday. For thou shalt rule thisEngland----”
”But we have a queen already,” broke in Leo, hastily.
”It is naught, it is naught,” said Ayesha; ”she can be overthrown.”
At this we both broke out into an exclamation of dismay, and explainedthat we should as soon think of overthrowing ourselves.
”But here is a strange thing,” said Ayesha, in astonishment; ”a queenwhom her people love! Surely the world must have changed since I dweltin Kôr.”
Again we explained that it was the character of monarchs that hadchanged, and that the one under whom we lived was venerated and belovedby all right-thinking people in her vast realms. Also, we told her thatreal power in our country rested in the hands of the people, and that wewere in fact ruled by the votes of the lower and least educated classesof the community.
”Ah,” she said, ”a democracy--then surely there is a tyrant, for I havelong since seen that democracies, having no clear will of their own, inthe end set up a tyrant, and worship him.”
”Yes,” I said, ”we have our tyrants.”
”Well,” she answered resignedly, ”we can at any rate destroy thesetyrants, and Kallikrates shall rule the land.”
I instantly informed Ayesha that in England ”blasting” was not anamusement that could be indulged in with impunity, and that any suchattempt would meet with the consideration of the law and probably endupon a scaffold.
”The law,” she laughed with scorn--”the law! Canst thou not understand,oh Holly, that I am above the law, and so shall my Kallikrates be also?All human law will be to us as the north wind to a mountain. Does thewind bend the mountain, or the mountain the wind?”
”And now leave me, I pray thee, and thou too, my own Kallikrates, forI would get me ready against our journey, and so must ye both, and yourservant also. But bring no great quantity of things with thee, for Itrust that we shall be but three days gone. Then shall we return hither,and I will make a plan whereby we can bid farewell for ever to thesesepulchres of Kôr. Yea, surely thou mayst kiss my hand!”
So we went, I, for one, meditating deeply on the awful nature of theproblem that now opened out before us. The terrible _She_ had evidentlymade up her mind to go to England, and it made me absolutely shudderto think what would be the result of her arrival there. What her powerswere I knew, and I could not doubt but that she would exercise themto the full. It might be possible to control her for a while, but herproud, ambitious spirit would be certain to break loose and avengeitself for the long centuries of its solitude. She would, if necessary,and if the power of her beauty did not unaided prove equal to theoccasion, blast her way to any end she set before her, and, as she couldnot die, and for aught I knew could not even be killed,[*] what wasthere to stop her? In the end she would, I had little doubt, assumeabsolute rule over the British dominions, and probably over the wholeearth, and, though I was sure that she would speedily make ours the mostglorious and prosperous empire that the world has ever seen, it would beat the cost of a terrible sacrifice of life.
[*] I regret to say that I was never able to ascertain if _She_ was invulnerable against the ordinary accidents of life. Presumably this was so, else some misadventure would have been sure to put an end to her in the course of so many centuries. True, she offered to let Leo slay her, but very probably this was only an experiment to try his temper and mental attitude towards her. Ayesha never gave way to impulse without some valid object.--L. H. H.
The whole thing sounded like a dream or some extraordinary invention ofa speculative brain, and yet it was a fact--a wonderful fact--of whichthe whole world would soon be called on to take notice. What was themeaning of it all? After much thinking I could only conclude that thismarvellous creature, whose passion had kept her for so many centurieschained as it were, and comparatively harmless, was now about to be usedby Providence as a means to change the order of the world, and possibly,by the building up of a power that could no more be rebelled againstor questioned than the decrees of Fate, to change it materially for thebetter.