The Thing About Love by Julie James
“I’ll take the five-fifteen,” John said, speaking on his phone to the airline’s customer service rep.
Jessica glanced at the clock on the car’s dashboard. It was almost five o’clock now, so that gave them less than twenty-four hours together before they had to return to their separate lives that awaited them in Chicago and Quantico.
It wasn’t much. But at least it was something.
When they got to her hotel room, John grinned when he saw the ocean view. “They finally upgraded you.”
“Apparently, the fourth time’s the charm.” Jessica set her purse onto the desk and kicked off her heels. “Do you want to go to the gift shop now?” Because John hadn’t planned to stay overnight, he hadn’t brought a suitcase with him and didn’t have a change of clothes or toiletries.
“Later.” John took off his suit jacket and set it over the back of the chair by the balcony door. “Right now, we have a few issues to address. Like the fact that I’m pissed at you.”
She pulled back in surprise. “You’re pissed at me? What did I do?”
He folded his arms across his chest. “Do you know the real reason I was mad at you the day we had to fight at the Academy?”
Jessica paused at the non sequitur, not sure why they were suddenly rehashing this. “Because I resorted to tricks to get you in a hold?”
“Actually, I thought that was brilliant,” he said. “I was mad because I saw how nervous you were before the fight. As if you thought there was a chance I might actually hurt you.”
She softened, hearing that. “Mostly, I think I was nervous about making a fool of myself.” She cocked her head. “But why are we talking about this now?”
“Because, six years later, you still don’t get it.”
She wasn’t following. “Get what?”
“You lectured me today about moving closer to you when the cops were pointing their guns at us. As if there were any other possible way that situation could go down.” He moved closer to her, his eyes a warm, deep blue. “Jessica . . . you have to know that I would step in front of a bullet for you without even thinking about it.”
Her throat tightened, and she found herself momentarily unable to say anything.
“And no, not just because you’re my partner.” His eyes held hers. “Because I love you. I think I’ve always loved you, from that very first morning in the auditorium, when you stood up and inspired our whole class with your speech. You amazed me every day at the Academy, and now that we’ve reconnected—and you’re actually being nice to me for a change,” he added with a smile, “those feelings have only gotten stronger.”
Her eyes had filled with tears. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“Well, I had a hard time accepting it myself,” he conceded. He reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek. “Especially once I found out I’d made HRT. Because I was leaving, I convinced myself that it was better to keep things casual between us. But when you told me at the hospital that you’d missed me, it was like everything else fell away. I knew in that moment that the thing I want most is to spend the rest of my life with the one person who drives me crazy in all the best possible ways.”
She wiped away another tear, complete mush by this point. “For the record, you are knocking it out of the park with this speech.”
“You always did make me up my game, Harlow.”
Ditto. She laced her fingers through his. “We have a geography problem. About seven hundred and fifty miles, to be specific.”
He nodded, his expression turning more sober. “Yes, we do.”
She squeezed his hand reassuringly. She’d thought a lot about it at the hospital, while John was getting his MRI. And apparently, Tara wasn’t the only one who was as sappy as a Hallmark movie these days.
I’d like to think that when two people feel that way about each other, somehow, some way, they can find a way to make it work.
Damn straight they could.
“Obviously, I’m stuck in Chicago for the short term. But I was thinking that we could do the long-distance thing for a while, and then, after I’ve been in Chicago for a year, I’ll put in for a TDY at the D.C. office.”
He studied her face. “You’d really be okay with that?”
“I’d really be okay with that. More than okay. I can be a special agent anywhere. Well, not anywhere, anywhere. In one of the fifty-six metropolitan areas across the U.S. and Puerto Rico where the FBI has field offices.” When John’s lips curved, she slid her arms around his neck. “But I won’t find another you. And I know I’ll never find anyone else who makes me happier.” She peered up into his eyes. “So where you go, I go.”
His voice was thick with emotion. “You don’t know how much it means to hear you say that.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “But I’ve already decided to quit the Hostage Rescue Team.”
“What? No.” Pulling back in shock, Jessica shook her head. “You can’t give up HRT, John. So few people can do what you can.”
“True. But just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should. That’s another thing that took me some time to figure out.” He cocked his head. “You’d be surprised how much becomes clear when you’re standing sixty feet above the water on the gunwale of a ship.”
“But this is the Hostage Rescue Team,” she emphasized.
“Yes, it is. And for the team to do what it does, every operator has to be one hundred percent committed.” He looked at her without hesitation. “I’m not there. And I’m never going to be there. Not when I think about everything you and I could have together.”
She stepped forward determinedly, closing the gap between them. “You don’t have to choose. I’ll come with you.”
“But I’ll be gone. A lot. And you’d be left alone, in a place that neither of us thinks of as home. It’s one thing when I only had myself to think about, but it’s not the life I want for us.” He smiled tenderly. “Somebody has to be around to teach our gaggle of towheaded girls how to make fire with the ass end of a lightning bug.”
And here she thought she’d been total mush before. Swallowing, she took a moment. “I’m so afraid you’re going to regret this. And that you’ll end up resenting me.”
He cupped her face in his hands and looked straight into her eyes. “Trust me to know what I want.”
She nodded. She already trusted John with her life. If they were going to do this—really do this—she needed to trust him with her heart, too.
“Okay,” she said softly.
“Okay,” he repeated.
She knew that look. “You’re going to kiss me, aren’t you?”
He pretended to consider this. “Well, with all the emotions flying around, it just feels . . . expected.”
She smiled as he lowered his head and claimed her mouth in a deep kiss. He guided her back toward the bed, his hands already working the zipper of her dress.
“I need to come clean with you about something,” Jessica said, walking backward. “That morning we said good-bye, I lied when I told you that I took a cab to your place. I actually drove there in my rental car—the rental car I’d picked up in Columbia the night before.”
He paused. “You drove all the way from South Carolina that night?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Because I didn’t want to depend on the airlines, she could’ve said. Or even, Because I wanted to make sure I had the chance to say good-bye. But really, it boiled down to one thing.
“Because I love you,” she said.
His mouth curved in a smile. “Took you long enough to figure that out.” He stepped closer, his eyes a deep, heated blue.
“In my defense, I might’ve realized it sooner if you hadn’t spent our first six months together constantly hounding me.”
He slid her dress off her shoulders and it fell to the floor. “Not h
“We’ll still have to agree to disagree on that one,” she said.
He leaned down onto his forearms, trapping her between him and the bed. “I have a feeling that’s something you and I will be saying a lot over the course of our lifetime together, Harlow.”
She linked her fingers behind his neck and pulled him closer. “You can bet on it, Shepherd.”
And she couldn’t wait.
35
two weeks later
John parked the car on the tree-lined street, and Jessica looked at him before opening her door.
“Ready for this?” she asked.
This would officially complete their meet-the-friends-and-family tour. After quitting HRT and being reinstated as a special agent with the Chicago field office, John had packed up his things and come home. Jessica had asked him to move in with her, and he’d said yes. No messing around, no hesitation—they both knew this was a good thing, a really good thing, and they wanted to be together as much as possible.
Then they’d realized that the majority of their friends and family didn’t even know they were dating.
Clearly, they had some ’splaining to do.
They’d tackled John’s side first, thinking that would be easier since Jessica’s family (with the exception of her mom) had no clue John existed. She met his brother and his friend Wes on the day John returned to Chicago. Since he was paying his own moving expenses this time—and also had to reimburse the Bureau for his moving expenses out to Virginia—he needed two people who would be willing to help him unload a U-Haul in exchange for a couple of cold beers.
Apparently more than willing, Nate and Wes had shown up on Jessica’s doorstep with grins on their faces.
“The infamous Jessica Harlow. At last, we meet,” Nate said.
“We’ve heard all about you.” Wes cocked his head, looking her over curiously. “Huh. John’s right—you do seem taller in person.”
“Before leaving town, my brother showed off this photo of you from the Academy,” Nate explained.
“‘Showed off’? That’s not exactly how that went down,” John said dryly, standing next to Jessica.
Nate breezed into the condo and patted John on the shoulder. “You’re moving in with her. I think the game’s up, bro.” He turned to Jessica, whispering faux-dramatically, “Spoiler alert: He likes you.”
When John looked up at the ceiling and shook his head, Jessica had a feeling she was going to like these two very much.
That Sunday, she and John went to dinner at his father’s house. She’d been a little nervous while getting ready, which John seemed to find amusing.
“I just want to make a good impression,” she told him, changing her outfit for the second time.
John watched her undress from the closet doorway. “You’re smart, know how to shoot a pistol, and have a whole cache of stories about catching bad guys. Tell him you’re a Cubs fan, and you’re pretty much his dream daughter-in-law.”
“Daughter-in-law?” Jessica’s pulse skipped a beat. “You and I haven’t had that conversation yet.”
“You should probably brace yourself, then.”
She gestured to herself. “We’re going to talk about getting married while I’m standing in my underwear?”
“That’s the best time to talk. About anything.” His gaze heated, he stepped into the closet and pulled her close.
They ended up being fifteen minutes late to dinner at his dad’s house.
Managing the situation with their co-workers took a little more finesse. Because they didn’t want people knowing they’d hooked up while working together—nor did either of them want “John Shepherd gave up HRT for Jessica Harlow” to become part of the office gossip—they devised a plan to control the narrative.
On John’s second week back in the office (his first week having been spent convincing his shocked squad mates that, no, he hadn’t been “kicked out” of HRT, he’d simply decided it wasn’t the right fit for him), he just-so-happened to be working out in the weight room of the gym with several of his squad mates when Jessica just-so-happened to walk in.
She spotted him and headed over. “I heard a rumor you were back in town, Shepherd. Couldn’t resist the lure of undercover work?”
At the sound of her voice, his five squad mates instantly peeked their heads up from their weight machines.
“Apparently not,” John said to Jessica, with a self-deprecating shrug.
“At least, that’s the ‘story,’” Jin told her, making air quotes while lying on a bench to work his hamstrings.
“They think I washed out,” John explained to Jessica.
“Ah. Well, I’m sure you had your reasons for leaving,” she said, as if being diplomatic. “Ooh, the leg machine just opened up.”
“Hey, we should grab coffee sometime and catch up,” John said, as she turned to go.
“I’m around all day tomorrow. Text me when you want a break.” With a smile, she headed off.
John deliberately let his gaze linger a moment, then turned back to face his squad mates.
All five of whom were grinning at him.
“Nice move,” Jared said approvingly, as he did another shoulder press.
“It’s only coffee.” John glanced one more time in Jessica’s direction, then looked slyly at his squad mates. “Has she always been this cute?”
Brandon snorted. “You just figured that out now?”
They turned back to their workouts. All except for Ryan, who’d been spotting John at the bench press.
He studied John carefully. “Over two months she’s been at this office, and I’ve never once seen Agent Harlow working out at this time. How curious that we just happened to run into her today.”
“Good timing for me, I guess,” John said casually. When the other agent gave him a highly suspicious look—dammit, Ryan always had been the cleverest one in the bunch—John switched to plan B.
He lowered his voice. “She has a friend named Tara who’s single and the spitting image of that actress who plays the green girl in Guardians of the Galaxy. You stay quiet and I’ll arrange an introduction.”
Ryan smiled. “Done.”
• • •
John reached around to the backseat to grab the flowers he’d bought for her mother, and the bottle of wine that was one of her parents’ favorites.
“So, we’ve got your mom and dad; Finn, Kim, Kayla, and Andrew; Maya, Camila, and Oliver. Anyone I’m forgetting?” he asked.
“Nope, that’s everyone.” She glanced sideways at him. “Don’t tell me you’re nervous now.” She hadn’t thought that was even possible.
“I’m just wondering what your family must be thinking. They’ve never heard of me before, and then, out of the blue, I’m the guy who’s moved in with you.”
Admittedly, her family had been surprised when Jessica had first broken the news. She’d talked to her parents over the phone so she could explain the situation, but for kicks, she’d merely sent Maya and Finn a text message.
Bringing a date to Mom and Dad’s on Sunday. BTW, he and I are living together. Catch ya later!
They’d lit up her phone for an hour straight after that one.
She shrugged in answer to John’s question. “Well, seeing how I’m a pretty levelheaded person, and a good judge of character, too, I guess my family will just have to assume you’re that damn good a catch.”
John grinned, looking quite pleased with the compliment.
“We don’t have to make a whole thing of it,” she added.
He laughed and leaned in closer, tangling his hand in her hair. “Still so saucy.”
“Always, with you.” As they kissed, she touched her hand to his jaw. Seconds l
Pulling back from John, she checked her phone to make sure it wasn’t a work emergency.
Stop making out with the man. We’re dying to meet him, Maya wrote.
Please tell me you brought those salted caramel brownies, added Finn. If I have to stand out here watching you kiss your new boyfriend I better at least get brownies.
Jessica looked up from her phone. They’d parked two houses down from her parents’, and through the car windshield she could see her entire family standing on her parents’ front lawn. They waved collectively at John and Jessica, and the kids yelled, “Aunt Jess!”—which got the dogs all excited and barking and racing around the yard in chaotic circles.
“Yep. That would be my family,” Jessica said.
John winked at her. “Let’s do this.”
They got out of the car and walked over. Her family welcomed John warmly, hugging him and joking with him about being Jessica’s “mystery man.” She sensed they liked him right off the bat—a feeling that was confirmed later, when they were all hanging out in the backyard.
“So, your guy?” Maya cocked her head in the direction of the grill, where John was talking to their dad. “Blows my guy totally out of the water.”
“My guy, too. Even without the Maserati. And that’s saying a lot.” Finn put his arm around Jessica. “So why all the secrecy?”
“It wasn’t supposed to be serious between us, but then . . .” Jessica trailed off, watching as her three-year-old nephew walked up to John and matter-of-factly handed him a pretzel rod. Getting down on one knee, John broke off half the pretzel, handed it to Oliver, and they each took a bite.
“Oh my God, you are so smitten,” Maya said to Jessica.
Finn laughed. “Your eyes literally just turned into hearts, Jess.”
Seriously, three moves and she’d have both these clowns on the ground before they even knew what was happening.
Just saying.
When the food was ready, the kids sat on a picnic blanket in the yard, surrounded by the dogs, while the adults gathered around the patio table. As they ate, Jessica’s dad asked John about the kinds of cases he worked on.