The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
16. The Magic Art of the Great Humbug
Next morning the Scarecrow said to his friends:
”Congratulate me. I am going to Oz to get my brains at last. When Ireturn I shall be as other men are.”
”I have always liked you as you were,” said Dorothy simply.
”It is kind of you to like a Scarecrow,” he replied. ”But surely youwill think more of me when you hear the splendid thoughts my new brainis going to turn out.” Then he said good-bye to them all in a cheerfulvoice and went to the Throne Room, where he rapped upon the door.
”Come in,” said Oz.
The Scarecrow went in and found the little man sitting down by thewindow, engaged in deep thought.
”I have come for my brains,” remarked the Scarecrow, a little uneasily.
”Oh, yes; sit down in that chair, please,” replied Oz. ”You mustexcuse me for taking your head off, but I shall have to do it in orderto put your brains in their proper place.”
”That's all right,” said the Scarecrow. ”You are quite welcome to takemy head off, as long as it will be a better one when you put it onagain.”
So the Wizard unfastened his head and emptied out the straw. Then heentered the back room and took up a measure of bran, which he mixedwith a great many pins and needles. Having shaken them togetherthoroughly, he filled the top of the Scarecrow's head with the mixtureand stuffed the rest of the space with straw, to hold it in place.
When he had fastened the Scarecrow's head on his body again he said tohim, ”Hereafter you will be a great man, for I have given you a lot ofbran-new brains.”
The Scarecrow was both pleased and proud at the fulfillment of hisgreatest wish, and having thanked Oz warmly he went back to his friends.
Dorothy looked at him curiously. His head was quite bulged out at thetop with brains.
”How do you feel?” she asked.
”I feel wise indeed,” he answered earnestly. ”When I get used to mybrains I shall know everything.”
”Why are those needles and pins sticking out of your head?” asked theTin Woodman.
”That is proof that he is sharp,” remarked the Lion.
”Well, I must go to Oz and get my heart,” said the Woodman. So hewalked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.
”Come in,” called Oz, and the Woodman entered and said, ”I have comefor my heart.”
”Very well,” answered the little man. ”But I shall have to cut a holein your breast, so I can put your heart in the right place. I hope itwon't hurt you.”
”Oh, no,” answered the Woodman. ”I shall not feel it at all.”
So Oz brought a pair of tinsmith's shears and cut a small, square holein the left side of the Tin Woodman's breast. Then, going to a chestof drawers, he took out a pretty heart, made entirely of silk andstuffed with sawdust.
”Isn't it a beauty?” he asked.
”It is, indeed!” replied the Woodman, who was greatly pleased. ”But isit a kind heart?”
”Oh, very!” answered Oz. He put the heart in the Woodman's breast andthen replaced the square of tin, soldering it neatly together where ithad been cut.
”There,” said he; ”now you have a heart that any man might be proud of.I'm sorry I had to put a patch on your breast, but it really couldn'tbe helped.”
”Never mind the patch,” exclaimed the happy Woodman. ”I am verygrateful to you, and shall never forget your kindness.”
”Don't speak of it,” replied Oz.
Then the Tin Woodman went back to his friends, who wished him every joyon account of his good fortune.
The Lion now walked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.
”Come in,” said Oz.
”I have come for my courage,” announced the Lion, entering the room.
”Very well,” answered the little man; ”I will get it for you.”
He went to a cupboard and reaching up to a high shelf took down asquare green bottle, the contents of which he poured into a green-golddish, beautifully carved. Placing this before the Cowardly Lion, whosniffed at it as if he did not like it, the Wizard said:
”Drink.”
”What is it?” asked the Lion.
”Well,” answered Oz, ”if it were inside of you, it would be courage.You know, of course, that courage is always inside one; so that thisreally cannot be called courage until you have swallowed it. ThereforeI advise you to drink it as soon as possible.”
The Lion hesitated no longer, but drank till the dish was empty.
”How do you feel now?” asked Oz.
”Full of courage,” replied the Lion, who went joyfully back to hisfriends to tell them of his good fortune.
Oz, left to himself, smiled to think of his success in giving theScarecrow and the Tin Woodman and the Lion exactly what they thoughtthey wanted. ”How can I help being a humbug,” he said, ”when all thesepeople make me do things that everybody knows can't be done? It waseasy to make the Scarecrow and the Lion and the Woodman happy, becausethey imagined I could do anything. But it will take more thanimagination to carry Dorothy back to Kansas, and I'm sure I don't knowhow it can be done.”
Next morning the Scarecrow said to his friends:
”Congratulate me. I am going to Oz to get my brains at last. When Ireturn I shall be as other men are.”
”I have always liked you as you were,” said Dorothy simply.
”It is kind of you to like a Scarecrow,” he replied. ”But surely youwill think more of me when you hear the splendid thoughts my new brainis going to turn out.” Then he said good-bye to them all in a cheerfulvoice and went to the Throne Room, where he rapped upon the door.
”Come in,” said Oz.
The Scarecrow went in and found the little man sitting down by thewindow, engaged in deep thought.
”I have come for my brains,” remarked the Scarecrow, a little uneasily.
”Oh, yes; sit down in that chair, please,” replied Oz. ”You mustexcuse me for taking your head off, but I shall have to do it in orderto put your brains in their proper place.”
”That's all right,” said the Scarecrow. ”You are quite welcome to takemy head off, as long as it will be a better one when you put it onagain.”
So the Wizard unfastened his head and emptied out the straw. Then heentered the back room and took up a measure of bran, which he mixedwith a great many pins and needles. Having shaken them togetherthoroughly, he filled the top of the Scarecrow's head with the mixtureand stuffed the rest of the space with straw, to hold it in place.
When he had fastened the Scarecrow's head on his body again he said tohim, ”Hereafter you will be a great man, for I have given you a lot ofbran-new brains.”
The Scarecrow was both pleased and proud at the fulfillment of hisgreatest wish, and having thanked Oz warmly he went back to his friends.
Dorothy looked at him curiously. His head was quite bulged out at thetop with brains.
”How do you feel?” she asked.
”I feel wise indeed,” he answered earnestly. ”When I get used to mybrains I shall know everything.”
”Why are those needles and pins sticking out of your head?” asked theTin Woodman.
”That is proof that he is sharp,” remarked the Lion.
”Well, I must go to Oz and get my heart,” said the Woodman. So hewalked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.
”Come in,” called Oz, and the Woodman entered and said, ”I have comefor my heart.”
”Very well,” answered the little man. ”But I shall have to cut a holein your breast, so I can put your heart in the right place. I hope itwon't hurt you.”
”Oh, no,” answered the Woodman. ”I shall not feel it at all.”
So Oz brought a pair of tinsmith's shears and cut a small, square holein the left side of the Tin Woodman's breast. Then, going to a chestof drawers, he took out a pretty heart, made entirely of silk andstuffed with sawdust.
”Isn't it a beauty?” he asked.
”It is, indeed!” replied the Woodman, who was greatly pleased. ”But isit a kind heart?”
”Oh, very!” answered Oz. He put the heart in the Woodman's breast andthen replaced the square of tin, soldering it neatly together where ithad been cut.
”There,” said he; ”now you have a heart that any man might be proud of.I'm sorry I had to put a patch on your breast, but it really couldn'tbe helped.”
”Never mind the patch,” exclaimed the happy Woodman. ”I am verygrateful to you, and shall never forget your kindness.”
”Don't speak of it,” replied Oz.
Then the Tin Woodman went back to his friends, who wished him every joyon account of his good fortune.
The Lion now walked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.
”Come in,” said Oz.
”I have come for my courage,” announced the Lion, entering the room.
”Very well,” answered the little man; ”I will get it for you.”
He went to a cupboard and reaching up to a high shelf took down asquare green bottle, the contents of which he poured into a green-golddish, beautifully carved. Placing this before the Cowardly Lion, whosniffed at it as if he did not like it, the Wizard said:
”Drink.”
”What is it?” asked the Lion.
”Well,” answered Oz, ”if it were inside of you, it would be courage.You know, of course, that courage is always inside one; so that thisreally cannot be called courage until you have swallowed it. ThereforeI advise you to drink it as soon as possible.”
The Lion hesitated no longer, but drank till the dish was empty.
”How do you feel now?” asked Oz.
”Full of courage,” replied the Lion, who went joyfully back to hisfriends to tell them of his good fortune.
Oz, left to himself, smiled to think of his success in giving theScarecrow and the Tin Woodman and the Lion exactly what they thoughtthey wanted. ”How can I help being a humbug,” he said, ”when all thesepeople make me do things that everybody knows can't be done? It waseasy to make the Scarecrow and the Lion and the Woodman happy, becausethey imagined I could do anything. But it will take more thanimagination to carry Dorothy back to Kansas, and I'm sure I don't knowhow it can be done.”