A Beautiful Funeral by Jamie McGuire
Trenton threw his arms around his mom's neck and squeezed. "Love you, Mommy."
"And I love you." Diane pressed a wet kiss on Trenton's cherub cheek, and he wiped it off, although he was more than happy to get a kiss from his mother. She was a goddess in their eyes, capable of anything. I spent the majority of every day trying my damnedest to deserve her.
I helped her stand, watching her lean, a bit off balance.
"Easy." I gently took her chin between my thumb and index finger. "I don't know what I would do without you."
She winked. "Keep saying yes and you'll never have to find out."
The boys hugged one another, and after some discussion, Travis stepped forward. He gripped each side of the podium, looking down. It took him a long time to speak. Even from behind, I could see Abby cover her mouth, hurting for both of them. My youngest son clenched his teeth, and then his eyes scanned the crowd.
"I've thought about what I would say. I really ... I don't know what to say because there are no words for this. None. Thomas is right. You always made us feel loved, Dad. Even the times when we were unlovable. Taylor and Tyler are right. You were the strongest of us. You always made us feel safe. And like Trent said ... you spoke about Mom so often that I can't help but be happy that you're finally with her again. You wanted that more than life, but you loved us enough to stick around for as long as you did, and I'm so thankful for that. Some people thought you were a fool for holding onto someone who was never coming back, but you knew different. You knew you would be the one going back to her. I ..." He sighed. "My brothers have told me stories about the other kids saying they wished they had our parents. If I could choose to do it all over again or have different parents for the rest of my life, I would choose you. I would choose her. Just so I could spend the time with you that I had." A single tear fell, and he sniffed once. "I would, and there are no words for how much that means to me. There are no words for how beautiful your love was, and that it had an effect on your children long after Mom died. The love you showed us will stay with us long after today."
My brows pulled together, and I shifted uncomfortably in the chair stationed beside my wife's hospital bed that we'd bought the same day we called hospice. Diane was holding Travis in both arms, tubing coming from her hand, hugging him for the last time. She held her tears until Thomas took him out into the hall.
She covered her mouth, and her tired, sunken eyes looked at me for answers I didn't have. "He won't remember me," she whispered with a ragged voice. Her body had been worn by chemo and radiation, her scarf covering her bald head. She had fought hard for as long as she could, only saying enough when the doctors said she only had a few more days with the boys.
"He'll remember you. I won't let him forget."
Her bottom lip trembled, and she covered her eyes, nodding. "I'm so sorry."
I took her hand and pressed my lips against her bony knuckles. "You have nothing to be sorry for, my love. You did everything you could."
She closed her eyes. "I'm afraid."
"You can be afraid. I'll hold you 'til it's over."
"I don't want it to be over."
"I know," I said. I crawled into bed next to her, letting her lay her head on my chest. She settled in. It took everything I had to stay strong for her. She had been strong for the boys and me all these years. I owed her that.
Diane nodded her head, and with tears streaming down her face, she rested her cheek on my chest. "I love you, Diane. I love you. I love you. I love you." I held my wife until her breathing evened out and then touched my cheek to her forehead when more time passed between breaths. "I love you," I whispered. "I love you. I love you. I love you."
When she exhaled for the last time, I watched the nurse, Becky, check Diane's pulse by the wrist and then use the stethoscope. Becky pulled the earpieces from her ears and offered an apologetic smile. "She's gone, Jim."
I sucked in a breath and wailed. I knew my sons were just outside the door, but I'd never felt so much pain in my life, and I wasn't strong enough to hold it in. I held Diane's face gently in my hands and kissed her cheek. "I love you." I kissed her again, my tears wetting her face. "I love you. I love you. I love you." I buried my face in her neck and sobbed.
Travis stepped back from the podium, and the boys hugged one another before walking off the stage in a line led by Thomas. The song Diane and I danced to at our wedding played as the boys filled the empty seats next to their wives. Trenton leaned over, his entire body shaking. Camille and Taylor both touched his back. Camille whispered in his ear, and he leaned his head against her chin.
Part of me wanted to stay, to watch over them and guide them, but something too strong to ignore was pulling me back; something I hadn't been able to ignore over four decades before. A delicate hand touched my shoulder, and I turned, seeing my beloved wife's face. She sat next to me and took my hands in hers.
My eyes glossed over. "I've been waiting for you."
She watched the pastor speak for a few moments and then turned to me, a peaceful smile on her face and tears in her eyes. "Ditto."
"I did my best."
I interlaced my fingers in hers, and she squeezed my hand. "You were perfect. I knew you could do it."
I lifted her hand to my lips and closed my eyes. A peace came over me that I hadn't felt since before she'd died. She stood up, pulling me toward the double doors in the back of the auditorium.
"I love you. I love you. I love you," she said, reaching behind her. She pushed the door, wearing the smile I'd fallen in love with, walking backward. She looked the way she had before she got sick; the happy, tough-as-nails, stunningly beautiful woman I remembered. I couldn't take my eyes off her, just as I couldn't then. I'd missed shamelessly staring at her, but I glanced over my shoulder one last time at my sons.
Diane hugged my arm and rested her head against my shoulder. "They're going to be fine."
"I know."
I kissed her temple, and we continued through the doors. Our past was now and now was in the past. Just as she'd promised, we were together again, in a moment of no sickness or pain--only love. And when love was real, so was forever.
THE END.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A Beautiful Funeral is probably the most difficult book I've had to write. It was more than just emotional, it was keeping the various family members and timelines straight, along with incorporating all of their careers and personalities. So many people contributed to helping me make this book what it is.
Jessica Landers is the admin for the MacPack, a McGuire fan group on Facebook. Not only does she keep it interesting, positive, and fun for everyone, but she also helped me in research for each character and the timelines, and stepped up when I needed a temporary assistant. Thank you for everything you do, Jess, but most of all for being a trusted friend for more than two years. People have come and gone, but you've remained. Ride or die, girlfriend.
Thank you to Michelle Chu for beta reading a very early version of A Beautiful Funeral and asking questions I know all the diehard fans would want answered.
Thank you to Nina Moore for taking time to make incredible teasers and graphics for marketing. You do an incredible job and I am so thankful for you!
The packaging of a book is very important to me, and I knew that the cover had to be exceptionally beautiful to offset the anxiety of the title. Hang Le provided the "quiet beauty" I asked for in the most perfect way. Thank you, Hang, for making an amazing cover that made everyone gasp as much as the title--hard to do.
Thank you to Ben Creech and Fiona Lorne for helping with the firefighting information, and thank you to Georgia Cates for helping with obstetric /preemie info.
A big thanks to Fiona Lorne, Jenny Sims, and Pam Huff for answering my call for help, and for jumping in to edit this novel when I experienced scheduling conflicts. Thank you to Jovana Shirley for editing the description on-the-spot, and for formatting.
Thank you to my agent Kevan Lyon for sticking with me throu
Thank you to my husband and children for always forgiving me when I work too much or too late, and sleep in too long.
Thanks to author Andrea Joan for keeping me sane while writing this novel, for being a loyal, trusted friend, a wise consultant, confident, and comedian. I'm not sure when it happened, but you are one of my very best friends, and I treasure you.
A special thanks to my personal assistant Deanna Pyles and family. Not only was Deanna a cheerleader and beta read this novel numerous times in its many forms, she kept me hydrated and fed while I edited this novel. She also moved her family sixteen hours away from the place they were all born and raised to help my husband and I grow our businesses. That's love, and I love you for being so brave and trusting.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JAMIE MCGUIRE was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She attended Northern Oklahoma College, the University of Central Oklahoma, and Autry Technology Center where she graduated with a degree in Radiography.
Jamie paved the way for the New Adult genre with the international bestseller Beautiful Disaster. Her follow-up novel, Walking Disaster, debuted at #1 on the New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists. Beautiful Oblivion, book one of the Maddox Brothers series, also topped the New York Times bestseller list, debuting at #1. In 2015, books two and three of the Maddox Brothers series, Beautiful Redemption and Beautiful Sacrifice, respectively, also topped the New York Times, as well as a Beautiful series novella, Something Beautiful. Beautiful Burn, book four hit the New York Times in February 2016.
Novels also written by Jamie McGuire include: apocalyptic thriller and 2014 UtopYA Best Dystopian Book of the Year, Red Hill; the Providence series, a young adult paranormal romance trilogy; Apolonia, a dark sci-fi romance; and several novellas, including A Beautiful Wedding, Among Monsters, Happenstance: A Novella Series, and Sins of the Innocent.
Jamie is the first indie author in history to strike a print deal with retail giant Wal-Mart. Her self-published novel, Beautiful Redemption hit Wal-Mart shelves in September, 2015.
Jamie lives in Steamboat Springs, Colorado with her husband, Jeff, and their three children.
Find Jamie at www.jamiemcguire.com or on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, Tsu, Snapchat, and Instagram.
Upcoming works from Jamie include All the Little Lights (2017), a YA romance, and the Other Lives series, a Maddox Brothers spinoff centering around the complicated lives of Trex, the Alpine hotshots, and other crew that protect the public and property from wildland fires. Trex, book one of the series, will release in fall 2017.
Jamie McGuire, A Beautiful Funeral
(Series: The Maddox Brothers # 5)