After We Fell by Anna Todd
“Watch the step,” Ken calls back to us as he climbs onto the ladder connecting the boat and the dock.
Hardin’s hand moves to my back as he helps me up the ladder. I try to force myself to imagine that it’s just a small ladder at a playground, not something attached to an enormous boat. The reassurance that comes with Hardin’s touch is the only thing keeping me from running back up the shaky dock, into the cabin, and hiding under the bed.
Ken helps us each onto the deck, and once there, I can see how nice the boat is, decorated in white wood and caramel leather. The seating area is large, big enough for all of us and then some to sit comfortably.
When he tries to help Hardin aboard, his son waves him off. When he’s fully on the deck, he looks around and says plainly, “It’s nice to see that your boat is nicer than Mum’s house.”
Ken’s proud smile fades.
“Hardin,” I whisper, tugging at his hand.
“Sorry,” he huffs.
Ken sighs but seems to accept his son’s apology before walking over to the other side of the boat.
“You okay?” Hardin leans into me.
“Yeah, just be nice, please. I’m already nauseous.”
“I’ll be nice. I already apologized.” He takes a seat on one of the lounges, and I join him.
Landon takes the grocery bag and leans down to unpack cans of soda and bags of snacks. I gaze across the expanse of the boat and out onto the water. It’s beautiful, and the sun is dancing across the surface.
“I love you,” Hardin’s says softly into my ear.
The boat’s engine comes to life with a light hum, and I scoot closer to Hardin. “I love you,” I say back, still looking out onto the water.
“If we get out far enough we may see a few dolphins, or if we’re lucky, a whale!” Ken says loudly.
“A whale would surely knock this boat over in no time flat,” Hardin remarks, and I gulp at the thought. “Shit, sorry,” he apologizes.
The farther and farther we get from the shore, the calmer I become. It’s odd: I thought it would be the opposite, but there’s a certain serenity that comes with being so disconnected from the land.
“Do you see dolphins a lot out here?” I ask Karen as she sips on her soda.
She smiles. “No, only once. But we still try!”
“I can’t believe the weather today, it feels like June,” Landon remarks, pulling his T-shirt over his head.
“Are you working on your tan?” I ask him, taking in his pale torso.
“Or your ghost impression?” Hardin adds.
Landon rolls his eyes but otherwise ignores the remark. “Yep, even though I won’t need a tan in the city.”
“If the water wasn’t ice cold, we could all go for a swim closer to shore,” Karen says.
“Maybe in the summer,” I remind her, and she nods happily.
“At least we still have the Jacuzzi back at the cabin,” Ken says.
Enjoying the moment, I look up at Hardin, but he stays quiet, staring off into the distance.
“Look! There!” Ken points behind us.
Hardin and I both turn quickly, and it takes me a moment to see what he’s spotted. It’s a pod of dolphins leaping through the water. They aren’t close to the boat, but they’re close enough that we can see the way they move in sync through the waves.
“It’s our lucky day!” Karen laughs.
The wind blows my hair across my face, blocking my view for a moment, and Hardin’s hand reaches up to tuck it back behind my ear. It’s always the simple things he does, the small ways he finds to touch me without thought, that make my stomach flutter.
“That was so neat,” I say to him once the dolphins have fully passed by.
“Yeah, it was, actually,” he says, sounding surprised.
AFTER TWO HOURS of conversation about boating, the beautiful summers along this spot of coastline, sports, and an awkward mention of Seattle that Hardin halted almost as soon as it began, Ken leads us back to the shore.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Hardin and I ask each other at the same time.
“Guess not.” He laughs, helping me down the ladder to the dock.
The sun has marked his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, and his hair is unruly and blown out from the wind. He’s so lovely, it hurts.
We all walk across the backyard, and all I can think about is how much I want to hold on to that peaceful sensation of being out on the water.
As we enter the cabin, Karen announces, “I’ll make us all lunch—I’m sure everyone is hungry,” and disappears into the kitchen.
The rest of us stand there silent and content as she walks off.
Finally, Hardin asks his father, “What else is there to do here?”
“Well, there’s a nice restaurant further in town—we were planning for all of us to have dinner there tomorrow. There’s an old-fashioned movie theater, a library—”
“So, a bunch of lame shit, then?” Hardin says, his words harsh but his tone playful.
“It’s a nice place, you should give it a chance,” Ken says, not in the least bit offended.
The four of us head into the kitchen and stand around while Karen puts together a platter of sandwiches and fruit. Hardin, who is being overly affectionate today, rests his hand on my hip.
Maybe this place is good for him.
AFTER LUNCH, I help Karen clean the kitchen and make lemonade while Landon and Hardin discuss how terrible modern literature is. I can’t help but laugh when Landon mentions Harry Potter. This sends Hardin into a five-minute-long speech on why he never has read and never will read the books, and Landon tries desperately to get him to change his mind.
After the lemonade is finished and greedily drunk down, Ken says to us all, “Karen and I are going to head down to our friend’s cabin a few doors down for an hour or two, if you all want to come.”
Hardin looks over at me from across the room, and I wait for him to answer. “I’ll pass,” he finally says, still looking at me.
Landon looks back and forth between Hardin and me. “I’ll come,” he says plainly, but I swear I catch him smirk at Hardin before he stands up to join Ken and his mom.
chapter twenty-four
HARDIN
I am thinking they will never leave, but as soon as they do, I pull her over to the couch with me.
“You didn’t want to go?” she asks.
“Fuck, no—why the hell would I want to go? I’d much rather stay here with you. Alone,” I say and brush the hair back from her neck. She squirms a little from the light shiver my touch spreads across her skin. “Did you want to go sit and listen to a roomful of boring-ass people talk about boring-ass shit?” I ask her, my lips barely grazing her jaw.
“No.” Her breathing has already changed.
“You’re sure?” I tease and run my nose along her neck, nudging her to tilt her head.
“I don’t know, it may have been more fun than this,” she says.
I chuckle into her neck, kissing her where the goose bumps on her skin appear from my breath. “Not fucking likely. We do have a hot tub in our room, remember?”
“Yeah, but it’s no good, because I don’t have a swimsuit . . .” she starts.
I suck lightly at her neck and imagine what she’d look like in a bathing suit.
Fuck.
“You don’t need one,” I whisper.
She moves her head back and looks at me like I’m crazy. “Yes, I do! I’m not getting in a hot tub with no clothes on.”
“Why not?” It sounds like a pretty fun time to me.
“Because your family is here.”
“I don’t know why you always use that as an excuse . . .” My hand travels down to her lap, and I press against the seam of her jeans. “Sometimes I think you may like that.”
“Like what?” she asks, practically fucking panting.
“The possibility of being caught.”
“Why would anyone like that?”
“A lot o
“No, that’s . . . I don’t know, but I don’t like it,” she lies. I’m pretty damn sure she does.
“Mm-hmm . . .”
“I don’t!” she cries, defending herself, her cheeks flushed and eyes wide in embarrassment.
“Tess, it’s okay that you do. It’s pretty fucking hot, really,” I assure her.
“I don’t.”
Sure, Tessa. “Okay, you don’t.” I raise my hands in defeat, and she whimpers a little from the loss of contact. I knew there was no way in hell she’d admit it, but hey, it was worth a try.
“Are you going to come into the Jacuzzi with me?” I ask and remove my hand from her.
“I’ll come up there . . . but I’m not getting in.”
“Suit yourself.” I smile and stand up. I know she’ll end up in there; she’ll just need more persuading than most girls. Come to think of it, I’ve never actually been in a Jacuzzi with a female before, naked or not.
Wrapping her small hand around my wrist, she follows me upstairs to the room that is considered ours for the next few days. The balcony connected to it is what made me claim it in the first place. The moment I saw that Jacuzzi sitting there, I had to get her into it.
The bed isn’t bad either; it’s small, but we don’t need a big bed with the way we sleep any damn way.
“I really do love it here; it’s so peaceful,” she says and sits on the bed to take her shoes off.
I open the double doors to the balcony. “It’s okay.” If my father, his wife, and Landon weren’t here, it would sure as hell be better.
“I don’t have anything to wear tomorrow to that restaurant your father was talking about.”
I shrug and lean down to turn the faucet on the Jacuzzi. “We won’t go, then.”
“I want to go. I just didn’t know we were going out somewhere before I packed.”
“It’s poor planning on their fault, then,” I say and study the gauges to make sure they look like they’re working. “We’ll just wear jeans. Seems like a casual area.”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, if you don’t want to wear jeans, we can find a store in this dump to get you something else,” I offer, and she smiles.
“Why are you in such a good mood?” Tessa raises an eyebrow at me.
I dip a finger into the water. Almost there; this thing heats up quickly. “I don’t know . . . I just am.”
“Okay . . . should I be worried?” she asks, stepping out to join me on the balcony.
“No.” Yes. I gesture to the wicker chair next to the hot tub. “Will you at least sit out here with me while I enjoy the relaxation that is sitting in scalding-hot water?”
She laughs and nods, taking a seat. I watch her innocent eyes as she stares at me while I pull my shirt over my head and take my pants off. I leave my boxers on; I want her to take them off.
“You sure you don’t want to come in?” I ask her, and lift my leg over the edge and climb in. Fuck, it’s hot as hell. A few seconds later the burn disappears, and I lean back against the hard plastic.
“I’m sure,” she says and looks out at the woods surrounding us.
“No one can see us. You really think I’d ask you to come in here naked if someone could?” I ask. “I mean, me with my ‘jealousy’ issues and whatnot.”
“What if they come back?” she asks quietly, as if someone can hear her.
“They said an hour or two.”
“Yeah, but . . .”
“I thought you were learning to live a little?” I tease my beautiful girl.
“I am.”
“You’re sitting there pouting in a chair while I’m enjoying the view,” I point out.
“I’m not pouting,” she says, and pouts more.
I smirk at her, knowing it will irritate her further. “Okay,” I say, closing my eyes as she purses her lips. “I sure am lonely in here. I may have to take care of myself.”
“I don’t have anything to wear.”
“Déjà vu,” I remark, thinking about our experience at the stream for the second time today.
“I—”
“Just get in the damn water,” I say, without opening my eyes or changing my tone. I speak to her like it’s inevitable, because we both know it is.
“Fine, I am!” she says, trying to convince herself she’s exasperated and doesn’t really want this as much as she does.
That wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. When I open my eyes, I nearly choke. She’s lifting her shirt over her head, and of course she’s wearing that damn red bra.
“Take the bra off,” I say.
She looks around again, and I shake my head. The only thing she can see from this balcony is the water and trees.
“Take it off, baby,” I coax, and she nods, sliding the straps down her arms.
I’ll never get enough of her. No matter how many times I touch her, fuck her, kiss her, hold her . . . it will never be enough, I’ll always want more. It’s not even about the sex, which we have often; it’s that I’m the only one who’s ever been with her, and she trusts me enough to get naked on a fucking balcony.
So why then am I such a fuckup? I don’t want to fuck this up with this girl.
Her jeans join her T-shirt and bra on the chair—folded perfectly, of course.
“Panties, too,” I remind her.
“No, yours are on,” she fires back and steps into the water. “Ouch!” she squeaks, pulling her foot back before easing in. Once she’s all the way in, she sighs, her body having gotten used to the water.
“Come here.” I reach for her and pull her onto my lap.
I suppose the uncomfortable plastic seats can be useful after all. The way her body feels against me, in combination with the pulsing jets, makes me want to rip those panties right off.
“It could be like this in Seattle, all the time,” she says, and her arms wrap around my neck.
“Like what?” The last thing I want to do is talk about fucking Seattle. If I could find a way to wipe that damn city off the map, I would.
“Like this.” She gestures between us. “Just us, no problems with your friends, like Molly, no bad history. Just you and me in a new city. We could start all over, Hardin, together.”
“It’s not that simple,” I tell her.
“Yes, it is; no more Zed.”
“I thought you were going to come in here and fuck me, not talk about Zed,” I tease, and she tenses.
“Sorry, I . . .”
“Calm down, I’m joking. Well, about the Zed thing.” I shift her body on mine so she’s straddling my lap, her bare chest flush against mine. “You’re everything to me; you know that, don’t you?” I repeat the question I’ve had to ask her so many times.
She doesn’t answer this time. Instead she rests her elbows on my shoulders, threads her fingers through my hair, and kisses me.
She’s hungry. Just like I knew she’d be.
chapter twenty-five
HARDIN
I attempt to pull her nearly naked body even closer to me as she deepens the kiss. Her hands grip my arms, and I guide my hand down between her thighs.
No point in wasting any time here.
“Should have taken these off,” I tell her, tugging at the side of her thin, soaked panties.
She lets out a breathless laugh before sucking in a sharp breath when my fingers enter her. Her moans are cut off by my mouth against hers. She pulls my bottom lip between hers, and I nearly lose it. She’s so fucking sexy and seductive, and she doesn’t even fucking try.
When she begins to rock her hips, pushing herself onto my hand, I grip her waist, move her from my lap, and place her next to me, her legs spread wide, my fingers still pleasing her.
These fucking panties are getting on my nerves.
She startles, then pouts w
But quickly, Tessa grabs my wrist to force me to touch her again.
“What do you want?” I urge, wanting to hear the words from her.
“You.” She smiles sweetly, then spreads her legs further, showing how dirty she really is.
“Turn around, then,” I tell her.
Without giving her a chance to respond, I turn her body around, and she lets out a yelp. I panic for a moment, but then realize that her little pussy is directly lined up with the jets. Of course, she’s moaning. She’ll be fucking screaming in a minute.
I kneel behind her—I love taking her this way. I can feel so much more of her, I can touch the creamy skin on her back and pay attention to every muscle moving under her skin—and I watch every breath she fights for as I rock into her.
I move her long hair to the side and move closer, slowly pushing farther into her. Her back arches into me, and I take her breasts in my hands as I begin to move in and out of her slowly.
Fuck, it feels so damn good, better than ever. It has to be the hot water pushing around us as I inch in and out of her. She moans, and I reach down to make sure she’s still being hit with the rushing water. Her eyes are screwed shut, and her mouth is wide open. Her knuckles are nearly white from gripping the edge of the tub.
I want to move faster, to pound into her, but I force myself to stay at this slow, torturing pace.
“Har-dinnn,” she moans.
“Fuck, it’s like I can finally feel every inch of you.” The moment I say the words, I panic and pull away from her.
A condom.
I didn’t even think to use a fucking condom. What has she done to me?
“What’s wrong?” she pants, a thin layer of moisture covering her face.
“I don’t have a condom on!” I run my hands over my wet hair.
“Oh,” she says calmly.