At Peace by Kristen Ashley
She was silent a second then she sighed.
Then she asked his throat, “How do you play bodyguard and be home all the time?”
“What?”
She tilted her head back so he again dipped his chin.
“You’re security to the stars, how do you guard them if you’re here so much?”
“Don’t do the bodyguard thing much anymore, buddy,” he told her. “Special gigs if the pay is good. Mostly do their systems.”
“Systems?”
“Kinda like I did for you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, means I have to deal with their shit for a week, not for fuckin’ ever.”
“So you just install their systems?”
“Nope, stopped doin’ most of the installs awhile ago too. Just design ‘em, contract out to guys I trust to install the hardware and I come in to do the wiring.”
“Really?” she repeated as if this was surprising.
“Yeah. That surprise you?”
“Um… I guess not.”
Cal rolled into her, taking her to her back and got up on a cocked arm, elbow in the bed, his head in his hand and he looked down at her shadowed face as he ran his fingers in random patterns across the skin at her ribs.
“They call me in, I recon their houses, tell ‘em what they need, do the design, hand it over to firms who do the installs, maintenance and watch. Wiring is my signature, my systems are sound but my wiring is impenetrable. No one can do what I do, my designs are comprehensive, seamless but my wiring is what they pay for. ”
“But you used to be a bodyguard?”
“Natural progression.”
“Oh,” she whispered but he knew there was more.
“What?” Cal asked, she didn’t respond so his hand flattened on her ribs and he pressed in lightly before he repeated, “What?”
“If you only do, um… recon and design, how’d you get mixed up with Kenzie?”
It was then Cal understood her hesitation.
He blew out a sigh, rolled to his back and she rolled with him, coming up on an elbow with her head in her hand like he’d been moments before.
“Sorry, was that…?”
Cal cut her off. “Kenzie had a situation. Stalker. Bad shit. The guy was fucked up. He broke into her house while she was out, did shit you don’t wanna know. They upped her security, he slipped through it, did his shit again. They called me to look into her systems, I made some modifications. She was there when I did the walkthrough. I have a reputation, she’d heard about it, she talked to her people, wanted me close and I didn’t blame her. This guy was whacked. She has three houses, I designed new systems for all of them in the meantime, until they caught this guy, I took her back at her request and she paid big for it. She took an interest while I was doin’ that. You know the rest.”
“Did you stop having her back after you two –?”
“Yeah.”
“So you were, um… having her back when you were gone so much before?”
“I don’t hang in Indiana in the winter, buddy. Got a place in Florida. I hang there. Come home to check on things every once in awhile. Kenzie got a message to me, I knew she was at my house, that’s why I was home that night. I came home to deal with her.”
“Oh.”
She fell silent and he could see even in the dark that her eyes were resting on the bed beside his shoulder. She was naked beside him after he’d fucked her, they were talking, another thing he never did with a woman, and she wasn’t touching him.
And Cal found, he didn’t fucking like that.
He reached out and wrapped his fingers around her forearm, sliding them down to her hand which he brought up to his chest and pressed it flat.
When he did this, her eyes came to his face.
“Did they catch him?” she asked quietly.
“Who?”
“Kenzie’s stalker.”
“Yeah, a coupla weeks after I quit her. It was in the news, buddy.”
“I must have missed that,” she whispered then asked, “Do you see a lot of stalker stuff with those people?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you help?”
“Yeah.”
“So you know a lot about it.”
He left her hand at his chest and curled his fingers under her hair where her head met her neck.
“Yeah, baby.”
Her body relaxed into his again. “Do they catch them a lot?”
“Always.”
“Always?”
“Yeah,” he told her, not telling her that the folks who got that obsessed sometimes crossed over the line, doing stupid but seriously sick shit and exposing themselves but usually terrifying the person they were stalking in the meantime.
“How do you know Daniel Hart?”
Cal didn’t hesitate in answering. “He killed my cousin in Chicago.”
Her body jerked at his words and she whispered, “What?”
“He killed my cousin. My mother was Italian, she was from Chicago, my cousin fell in with a family and the family he was in with is a rival of Hart’s. There was a skirmish for territory. Vinnie was whacked during the skirmish.”
“Who got the territory?”
“Hart.”
The syllable was loaded when she muttered, “Oh.”
“Mafia’s not big on givin’ up territory,” Cal told her.
“So um…”
“So, Vinnie hasn’t been forgotten.”
“How long ago was it?”
“’Bout seven years.”
The syllable was still loaded when she repeated it but it was a different weight this time when she murmured, “Oh.”
He put pressure on her neck, her elbow slid out from under her and he pulled her cheek to his shoulder. Her hand glided down his chest then to his side so her arm could wrap around his stomach.
“Sorry about your cousin,” she whispered into his skin.
Cal didn’t reply.
“Were you close?”
Cal replied to that but his reply was an understatement. He practically grew up with Vinnie Junior. Vinnie was like a brother.
“Yeah.”
“Sorry.”
“Thought you were tired.”
“I am.”
“Then why you talkin’ not sleepin’?”
“Sorry,” she mumbled.
“It was a question, buddy. Somethin’ on your mind?”
She hesitated then said, “Tomorrow’s Friday.”
She didn’t go on so Cal prompted, “And?”
He could barely hear her when she whispered, “That makes the next day Saturday.”
The fingers of his hand still resting at her neck tensed into her scalp.
“Flowers aren’t gonna come.”
“What if he comes?”
“He does, Colt or I’ll deal with it.”
She pressed her face into his shoulder and her arm gave him a squeeze but she didn’t let go and he knew why when she whispered, “Joe, he freaks out my girls.”
“We’ll deal with it, buddy.”
She went on like he didn’t speak. “I could handle it, if it was just me, but he freaks out my girls.” She took in a breath, let it out and her head and arm relaxed again. “They act like they’re cool but those flowers scared them.”
“You’ll be okay and they’ll be okay.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because there’s no alternative.”
She gave a sharp, surprised laugh and her head came up to look at him. “You know, you’re right.”
He did know he was right so he didn’t reply.
She dropped her head and her arm left his stomach and then both suddenly stilled. She seemed suspended for a minute before her cheek went back to his shoulder and her arm draped around his stomach again.
She was going to touch him somehow, do something like she did before, running her fingers along his jaw. But she didn’t, she was holding back and Cal felt the loss of that and the emp
“I’ll shut up now,” she muttered but then asked, “Should we set your alarm?”
“You’ll be okay.”
“Maybe we should set your alarm.”
“I’ll get you home on time.”
“Sure?”
“Go to sleep.”
She hesitated then she whispered, “Okay.”
He knew she didn’t sleep for awhile but she didn’t say another word.
Cal stared at the ceiling and ran the tips of his fingers along the skin of her hip and ass until he felt the weight of her body settle into him.
Then he stared at the ceiling and wondered why the fuck he was lying in bed talking to Violet and after, running the tips of his fuckin’ fingers along the skin of her hip and ass so she’d relax and go to sleep.
Coming up with no answers, he fell asleep.
* * * * *
Cal heard it, a car on the street, bumping the curb violently and his body jolted awake.
He opened his eyes, the room was dark and Vi was a dead weight against his side, her leg curled over his thigh, arm heavy on his gut, forehead pressed against the side of his neck.
He listened, the window still open in his room, and heard a car door slam.
It wouldn’t be Hart. Hart liked to make statements so Hart wouldn’t do his business in the dark when there was no one around to notice. And Hart wouldn’t send someone who would be loud and therefore sloppy.
It had been a long time, years, but Cal knew what it was, knew it was coming and he knew it because he felt the acid injected straight into a vein.
Then the banging came at his door.
“Fuck,” he whispered as Violet woke with a start at his side, her head coming up, her hand lifting to pull her hair out of her face.
The banging didn’t stop.
“Joe,” she breathed, fear in his name.
His hand went to her jaw, forcing her to look at him and his head came up from the pillow.
He put his mouth to hers and said, “It’s not that, baby, it’s okay. Don’t worry. Just stay here, I’ll take care of it.”
He kissed her lightly then slid out from under her, grabbed his jeans, yanked them on and buttoned them as he walked out of his room.
He didn’t need this shit, not ever but mostly not with Vi in the house. He didn’t want her to see or hear what was about to happen. Cal couldn’t be sure how the scenario would play out and in what order but it always played out the same scenes, it always had a theme and it was never pretty. It used to happen frequently but it had been so long since the last one, he thought it was over.
Unfortunately, he was wrong.
He turned on a lamp in his living room, went to his door and looked out the peephole.
There she was, still banging on the door.
Bonnie.
He unlocked and threw open the door and Bonnie lurched forward drunkenly, her arm flying out to grab onto the doorframe to steady herself.
Her head tipped back and he looked down at her, not shocked at what he saw even though she’d deteriorated significantly since the last time he saw her. However he was surprised that the familiar pain he always used to have when he saw her didn’t slash through his gut.
“Hey Joe,” she slurred as if she’d seen him only yesterday, twisting her face into a travesty of a come on and he winced when he heard her say his name.
He didn’t reply and looked beyond her to see an old, beaten up, faded Nissan Sentra parked on the street in front of his house. The front wheel was up and over the curb in the grass between the sidewalk and the road.
Christ, in her state, she’d driven there.
She put her hand on his bare chest.
“Arn choo gonna lemme in, da’lin’?” she garbled and Cal looked back at her and fought back another wince.
He stepped away from her touch but grabbed her upper arm and pulled her in. He positioned her outside the swing of the door and closed it. This wasn’t easy. She was small, even smaller now that the drink and drugs had emaciated her body, but she was out of it. Cal had a lot of practice dealing with fucked up people, earning it in his days as a bouncer. But Bonnie was so far gone, she was like a standing ragdoll.
He pulled her into the kitchen, flipping the switch and the overhead lights came on.
“Damn,” Bonnie complained, her hand flitting up to cover her eyes, “thas bright.”
Cal positioned her by the counter and let her go, reaching to the top of the fridge to nab his phonebook.
She leaned into the counter then used it to hold her up as she slid into him, her hands coming back to his body at his sides.
“Lez hava drink,” she suggested.
“You don’t need a drink,” Cal told her, stepping away from her hands, putting the phonebook on the counter and flipping through it to get to the listings for taxis.
“Always needa drink,” Bonnie mumbled and that was the God’s honest fucking truth. She always needed a fucking drink.
He found the number for a local taxi company and pulled the phone off its charger.
“Whatcha doin’?” she asked, leaning further into him, taking a drunken step forward when her lean pulled her off her feet.
“You’re goin’ home.”
“Aww, Joe. I’m ‘ere for you, baby,” she fell forward further, her face aiming at his chest, her wet mouth slid along his skin and he fought the sick the touch of her mouth churned in his gut. “Give you wha’ choo need,” she murmured.
His stomach curled and he wrapped his fingers around her arm again, pulling her away, setting her at arm’s length. She leaned heavily against the counter and he took another step away, out of shot.
She tipped her head back to look at him, her haggard face sadly confused like she had no idea where she was or how she got there. Then he watched her work at it and finally focus on him.
“Joe,” she whispered.
He heard Bonnie say his name and then, in his head, he heard Violet saying it. Not just when they were fucking, when they were talking or even when she was pissed at him. No matter when Vi said it, it hit him, in his dick, his gut, his chest and it wasn’t in a bad way. He’d thought, until that moment, that it reminded him of Bonnie but looking at his ex-wife, it wasn’t that. Whatever it was, it wasn’t about Bonnie, it was all about Vi.
He stared at Bonnie and saw her hair was long and partially ratted. The natural blonde had been dyed lighter and the dye job was bad, so bad it had a weird tint of green in places. It’d been awhile, though, the roots were showing, lots of them. Her natural color came through but there was gray in it, like she was far older than she was and she was only thirty-eight.
He tried to call up what she used to look like, the girl he’d fallen for but staring down at her, her freakishly thin body; her gaunt face, the purple-blue under her eyes, the yellowish tinge under her skin; the lines around her mouth from smoking too much; and her clothes that were wrinkled, cheap, maybe even secondhand and far from clean, he couldn’t call up the Bonnie who used to be.
All he could see, and in that moment, staring at Bonnie, he could even feel her against his hands, his body, was Vi. Bonnie was short, five foot five. Vi had to be five eight maybe pushing five nine. Bonnie had always been thin but she’d had great tits. Now they were sad and sagging under her worn and faded camisole that showed way too much of her unhealthy skin. Vi, Cal knew from what she told him about when she got pregnant with Kate, was a few years younger than Bonnie but she’d had two kids and still her body was fucking unbelievable, ample ass and tits, tight skin, slightly rounded stomach. Even losing her husband, she hadn’t lost any vibrancy. Vi was a fucking firework compared to the washed out woman he’d married twenty years ago that was standing in his kitchen.
Cal looked at her wondering again, even after years of giving that shit his headspace, after what happened, what she did, he wondered what drew him to her in the first place. What made him ignore all the signs and think he could work his ass of
Violet, right now naked in his bed, had lost her husband and had some dickhead making her life a misery and she was shoveling her walks, calling her daughters “baby”, taking them to the mall and making them pork chops. Her life had turned to shit but she was cushioning her girls from that, she was giving them a nice home in a town where neighbors threw barbeques and her daughters could catch the eye of the local football hero and listen to crap boy bands in their bedrooms like normal kids never touched by tragedy.
She wasn’t drinking, smoking cigarettes and weed, snorting coke, scoring crack and falling to pieces.
This knowledge hitting him, as usual, he wanted to get shot of Bonnie but this time it was because he wanted to get back to Vi.
“Where do you live?” he asked her.
“Wha’?” she asked, back to confused.
“Bonnie, I’m callin’ a taxi to take you home. Where do you live?”
She stared at him, swaying a bit then she said, “Doan wanna go home.”
“You’re goin’ home.”
She blinked then slid along the counter to him, stopping when he took another step back.
“Joe.”
“Where do you live?”
“Baby.”
“Fuck, woman, tell me where you live.”
He watched as her face worked. She was struggling, she knew the finale already. It was the same every fucking time. Why she played out this scene, he had no clue and he detested it. But he knew she’d go for it, even knowing how it would play out. He knew what was coming.
“Bonnie –”
“Twen’y for a blowjob.”
There it was.
Cal closed his eyes.
“Come on, da’lin’,” she whispered and he opened his eyes to see she was sliding along the counter again, her chin low, looking at him from under her lashes, a total fucking farce.
“You need to get home.”
“You can do me up the ass for two hun’red.”
His lip curled and he wondered how many times she said that to how many guys, strangers, anyone who was willing to pay to get off with her. Looking at her he doubted she did good business.
Then he felt it and looked to his left to see Violet standing in the hall, wearing his t-shirt, her dark hair a tumbled mess around her face and shoulders. His tee fell long on her, over her hips but he could see most of her long legs. The whole of her, even in the middle of the night, looked vital, alive and sexy as all hell, polar opposite to the sad case in his kitchen.