Beautifully Broken by Kira Adams
Having the time to see the interaction between Lee and his cousin and friend only made me fall deeper in love with him. I almost blurted it out a few times…but I wanted him to be the first one to say it—I was old fashioned in that way.
But I could see how much he cared about me in his voice; his demeanor; his affection. He was whipped and he had no clue…
Twenty Six – Grounded and Digging it
Lee
Jacqueline probably hated me, but I was breaking her out of her shell slowly—she probably didn’t even realize how much she had changed.
She still had her bad days. The ones she went from zero to sixty in ten seconds flat. But if I was around I could calm her down in the matter of a few minutes.
She tried to mask the effect I had on her, but it was obvious—I made her better. I also think by introducing her to new things and opening her eyes, she was slowly beginning to heal some old scars.
It was 6:00 pm on a Sunday night and I had lured Jacqueline into the car with me for a rendezvous.
“Where are we going?” Jacqueline asked from the passenger seat.
I glanced over at her quickly, then back on the road. “You don’t know how to swim—I am going to teach you.”
“Lee, I don’t have my swimsuit…” Jacqueline trailed off.
I glanced in the rearview mirror at the backseat noting not only my swim suit, but also one I had bought for her.
“I’ve got it covered,” I replied finally.
Jacqueline stared at me awaiting an explanation.
“Look, it’s not that big of a deal, but I had Austyn help me pick one out for you when she was in town—hopefully we did well…”
“I’m sure you guys did just fine,” she said, then squeezed my arm.
We pulled up to a familiar gym I liked to frequent, the parking lot was bare minus a few cars here and there.
As we entered the front doors we were greeted by the receptionist, a younger, brown haired boy.
“Hey man,” I said, exchanging handshakes with him.
“Lee, everything is ready for you.”
“Thanks Jake,” I replied. Then I stealthily slipped him a twenty dollar bill.
I knew how difficult it was for Jacqueline to show her legs to anyone and I knew how much I cared about her so I did a buyout of the gym for the day. It actually wasn’t as expensive as I would have thought. They gave me a huge discount for all the business I gave them through my client referrals. I ended up dropping $10,000 to keep the gym closed for three hours. It was worth it.
After we changed in the locker rooms, we emerged and I couldn’t stop staring at Jacqueline. Austyn had chosen the tankini, whatever that was and Jacqueline looked beautiful. Austyn had been spot on.
We started off in the shallow end. That way she could touch the ground, in turn feeling safe.
I initiated a water fight to make her feel even more secure. I had never seen her smile more.
“Okay, I’m going to need you to lie flat on your back, I’m going to teach you how to float.” Instinctively, I put my arms out in front of me.
I felt Jacqueline’s weightless body fall back onto my arms and I guided her around the pool. When we had been in the deep end for more than ten minutes, I removed my arms from underneath Jacqueline. Her eyes were closed and by the time she realized she was alone, I was already halfway across the pool.
“Lee?” She began to kick her legs, flailing her arms, looking for me; causing her to accidentally swallow some pool water.
“Jac, I’m right here,” I said in a calming voice. “You were doing fine until you began second guessing yourself. Just kick your feet underneath you and keep your head above water.”
I swam out to her after I saw a visible change in her posture. “How you doing?”
“You’re an ass, but I’m swimming!”
“Now that’s the spirit!” I wiggled my eyebrows at her.
She wrapped her legs around my torso. “Don’t leave me again,” she murmured.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Jacqueline was my life now. I spent every waking moment apart from work wrapped up in her.
For once in my life someone had grounded me—and I liked it.
“What are you thinking about?” Jacqueline ran her fingers gently over my forehead.
“You,” I replied, honestly.
Her eyes grew wide. “What about me?”
“You’ve managed to ground me; this is the longest I’ve been in one single place in years.”
Jacqueline looked enthused. “That’s awesome.”
“That’s awesome? That’s all you have to say after I made that huge confession?” She was being modest.
“I knew you liked me more than you let on…I’ve just been waiting for you to come out and say it!” She poked me in the chest playfully.
“Oh really? I’m going to drop you in this water!” I tried to release her limbs from my body but they were hanging on for dear life.
I couldn’t help but laugh. This was us. Jacqueline was my girlfriend and I was falling hard. If I didn’t watch it I would be the one face planting in love with her much quicker than I had ever anticipated.
My player days were being put behind me and I felt relieved; I felt renewed.
Twenty Seven – An Unexpected Visitor
Jacqueline
Jealousy did not suit me. I did not wear it well.
In all reality, I felt pretty secure in my relationship with Lee but seeing the brunette bimbo with huge boobs at his front door had me spinning.
“Is Lee home?” She asked in a high-pitched Barbie sounding voice. She had brown eyes and they lit up when she said his name.
There was definite history between the two. I thought she might get the hint seeing that I answered the door in my pajamas—but then again she didn’t seem fazed.
“Lee is out on his morning surf, want me to let him know you stopped by?”
The brunette’s face dropped in disappointment. “Yeah, could you just tell him Ainsley stopped by?
Ainsley. Ainsley. Lee had never mentioned her name before—maybe she was just a friend? Wishful thinking.
As soon as she made her exit I hopped onto the computer, quickly stalking Lee’s Facebook.
I was going to snoop and find out exactly who Ainsley was to Lee. Her page was an easy find through his friends list.
The first thing I clicked on was her pictures. Ainsley looked so happy; her pictures portrayed a very positive, outgoing person.
It wasn’t difficult to locate old pictures of her and Lee. There were entire albums named after the pair—it would be safe to say their history exceeded my expectations.
There were pictures of them kissing from nearly four years ago and obviously while Lee was still in college.
He had longer, shaggy hair back then—something I was thankful he had opted out of by shaving his head.
Judging by the dates on the pictures, they had dated for over a year, making me wonder how serious they had become—Lee had never been big on commitment, especially because it made him vulnerable..I had to wonder how close he had let Ainsley in.
Their pictures were perfect. Almost too perfect. It made me question why it didn’t work out.
Chicago, Illinois.
At least I knew she was only visiting Hawaii. But the fact that they mirrored a perfect couple and the knowledge that Ainsley was probably more put together than me, made me nervous.
What did she want? Why did she seek him out after all this time?
I hadn’t realized just how long I had sat there—staring at an old picture of the two; the happy couple. But I hadn’t moved a muscle when Lee walked through his door, his wet suit hanging off his body.
“Babe, the waves were incredible today!” He stated as he walked through the door carrying his board.
My eyes were still fixated on the screen. When I didn’t respond, Lee made his way further into his place, inching towards me. “What are you doing?”
I could fee
“Why are you looking at a picture of me and one of my college girlfriends?” Lee dropped his board on the wood floor loudly.
“Oh, you mean Ainsley? Maybe because she randomly stopped by earlier.” I couldn’t help the stiffness in my voice—I still wanted to know what her motives were.
“Ainsley showed up here?” Lee’s face mirrored his shocked vocal response.
I nodded, my heart beating out of my chest ferociously. “What did she want Lee?”
Lee covered his mouth with his hand. “Well that was definitely unexpected…”
“What happened between you two?” I pushed for an explanation.
“She was someone I dated in college. We were semi-serious.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, still digging for details.
“It means I was under the impression we were ‘dating’ and Ainsley was under the impression we were ‘exclusive’.”
“You didn’t…” I trailed off, lost in thought—my jealousy slowly fading.
“I did, and in turn I really broke her heart. I haven’t regretted much in my life…but what I did to Ainsley was definitely one of those moments.”
I couldn’t hide the disappointment that spread across my face like wildfire.
“Ainsley and I were a long time ago. I haven’t even thought about her in a long time.”
“Well, she’s in town and wants to see you.” I muttered, worst case scenarios playing out in my head on repeat.
“You mean more to me now than Ainsley ever could or even did. You should find comfort in that.” Lee said softly, approaching me.
“I do. I just worry. I have so many flaws—it’s easier to imagine you choosing someone else over me for a wide variety of reasons.
“Look, while I do agree you are a handful sometimes—you are still my handful—one I signed up for and intend on keeping around for a very long time, if you’ll have me.”
He was too good to be true. Better even. What did I do to deserve such an amazing man? I wasn’t sure—but I was holding on for dear life; I would not be giving up without a fight.
Twenty Eight – Caught off Guard in the Worst Way
Lee
I never thought I would ever hear the name Ainsley Townsend again…
It could have had to do with our rough break-up and falling out, or it could have been my indecisive nature when it came to being in a fully committed, monogamous relationship.
A few years after everything went sour between the two of us, I reached out to Ainsley. Call it curiosity, but I toyed with the idea that I had made a mistake—that I hadn’t given Ainsley what she deserved.
Honestly, she deserved someone better than me; someone willing to give her the title she was so desperately seeking. So, I cut her loose; I figured it was what would be best in the long run.
It didn’t mean that she didn’t cross my mind from time to time. I always hoped that she ended up with someone who would love her unconditionally; something I could never do.
When Jacqueline gave me the surprise of a lifetime by letting me know she showed up out of nowhere, my mind ran wild.
What could she possibly want after all these years?
In the spirit of not worrying Jacqueline any more than necessary, I called Ainsley’s old number when I went out for my morning surf. Only this morning my focus was not on surfing—it was solely on finding out exactly what she wanted and why she was in Hawaii.
Ainsley answered on the second ring. It was surprising how familiar her voice still sounded.
“Hello?”
“Ainsley,” I said, unsure of how to proceed.
“Lee,” she responded, and then we just sat in silence for a couple of seconds digesting it all.
“I never thought I’d hear from you again…” I trailed off.
“Yeah, the last time I saw you I stormed off on you and a delicious meal at Lemon Drop,” she recalled.
I tried hard to forget that night and how shitty of a person she made me feel…she pushed for commitment—but it was the time of my life, settling down was not an option.
“Oh yeah, that night…” I paused. “So how have you been—what are you doing in Hawaii?”
“I’ve been good, and it’s kind of complicated, did you want to grab lunch and catch up?” Ainsley asked then.
I glanced at the watch on my wrist; it was a quarter after nine. “Yeah, that sounds great—let’s plan to meet at noon at Le Thai Bistro.”
“Sounds great—I’ll see you then.”
“Oh, and Ainsley, it’s really great to hear your voice—you sound well,” I threw in before hanging up.
I knew how Jacqueline would feel about my lunch date with my former girlfriend, so I did something I wasn’t proud of; I lied.
I texted Jacqueline to let her know that a few of my clients had changed their appointments to the afternoon and I would only have time to come home and change.
I kept it as brief as possible when I made it home. Only taking twenty minutes to change and leave again. I was a terrible liar, I kept the talking to a minimum.
I arrived to Le Thai Bistro a half an hour early; spending the rest of the downtime before window shopping for flowers for Jac out of guilt.
She looked like a spitting image of her college self, brown hair, chocolate eyes—she hadn’t changed one bit.
I, on the other hand, looked worlds different from when we had dated. I was in the midst of my hippie phase; let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.
“Lee,” she said in a shocked tone.
“Is it the hair?” I joked, running my hand over my short buzz cut.
“You look good,” she whispered as I embraced her for a hug.
“And you my dear look just like the woman I remember.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” she laughed uncomfortably.
“Familiarity is always good. You wanna sit?” I motioned towards our table.
“Sure.” Ainsley took a seat at the small table across from me.
“So, first things first, what the heck are you doing in Hawaii?”
“Before that, I want to know what you have been doing these past four years and how you ended up in Hawaii.”
Ainsley and I had met our freshman year of college at San Francisco State—previous to that I had grown up in Berkley.
“Life couldn’t be better,” I gushed. “I have an amazing career, an awesome house, and an incredible girlfriend.”
It was true, all of it—and I was proud of all of those aspects.
It was hard to miss Ainsley’s face falling with each point.
“That’s great Lee, I’m so happy for you.” Something told me she didn’t believe her own words...
“Enough about me, your turn.”
Ainsley paused before revealing anything so we could order and then we picked up the conversation exactly where we had dropped off.
“Since the last time I saw you, I got my nursing degree, became an RN, moved to Chicago, and also have someone very special in my life.” She had always been incredibly smart, but I felt proud that she went after her dream.
“What’s the lucky fella’s name?” I asked, curiously.
“Tanner,” Ainsley responded. Would you like to see a picture?”
“Sure,” I answered enthusiastically. In reality, I only held a mild curiosity, but I wanted to humor her.
She handed me her phone then and I was surprised to see a picture of a young boy.
“Tanner?” I asked, glancing between the picture and Ainsley.
She nodded, remaining mute.
“He’s definitely a stud, how old is he?” I asked.
“He’ll be turning five this year.”
Five? Five? “But that would’ve meant you got pregnant our freshman year of college…” I trailed off, slowly digesting it all.
She nodded.
Holy shit.
Twenty Nine – My
Jacqueline
Something felt different; off. From the bouquet of roses to the incredibly sweet handwritten card to his over the top affection—he was trying too hard. Not that I didn’t appreciate every single moment of the special treatment, just that it was terribly suspicious.