Beautifully Broken by Kira Adams
“Come home, please. Everything here sucks without you. Our bed doesn’t feel the same without you…I have no one to cuddle with at night. I’m begging you, please come home.”
I paused waiting for a reply from her, but quickly decided to continue my groveling. “Gage has been missing you,” I referred to my car. “And I might be missing you a little too.”
“Just a little?” She finally spoke, pouting.
“Okay, maybe more like a lot.”
“Come home,” I begged again.
“Will you be waiting for me?” She asked, insecure.
“Of course. I’ll always be waiting for you—I care about you.” Okay, I more than cared, but I wanted to express that in person. It was intimate and I wanted it to remain so.
Thirty One – The L Word
Jacqueline
When I received the call from Lee asking me to return to Hawaii, the decision was one of the easiest ones I ever made. It was great to see Travis and to have his support through my mother’s passing…but when it came to Travis and Lee—in my mind, there was no comparison.
Travis was there for me, most of my entire life, but when I needed him the most, he turned his back on me and walked away. Lee pushed me away most of the beginning of our relationship, but when I really needed him, he was there pushing me to be better. He knew I needed tough love—and he gave it to me while still being by my side.
Travis wasn’t happy, which was to be expected…but we weren’t on bad terms, and that’s all I really cared about. He even saw me off to my flight, giving me the longest, tightest hug in the history of hugs. I took one long look at him before boarding my flight worried I may never see his handsome face again.
Lee was waiting for me when I finally made it in. He was beaming from ear to ear, I had never seen him so happy. “Welcome home baby,” he whispered into my ear as he enveloped me in his arms.
“Are those for me?” I asked, not missing the fact that he had a bouquet of flowers hidden behind his back.
“Hey, no fair!” He pulled away quickly from me, shielding himself with the flowers. “I didn’t even get to surprise you. You ruined it.”
“They’re beautiful,” I smiled brightly, grabbing them from Lee and sniffing them. “Mmm, and they smell nice too.”
“You’re beautiful and smell nice,” Lee added in a cheesy tone.
“And you’re sucking up.” I stuck out my tongue at him.
“I do have some groveling to do…believe me, it will come.” He chuckled. “Did you check any bags?”
I shook my head. “We can go home.”
I noticed his chest fall, his expression one of relief. “Did you think I wasn’t going to come back?”
“I wasn’t sure what to think. I was worried I had lost you for good. I’m sorry I was being stupid.” Lee looked down at his shoes as he apologized.
“Hey,” I said softly, tipping his chin towards me. “I missed you…a lot.”
“I missed you too,” he murmured before kissing me long and deep.
“Come on, let’s go home.”
“Say it again,” he begged, his eyes fixated on mine.
“Let’s go home…to our home.” I repeated.
***
When I originally boarded that plane with Lee, I never expected my life to change so drastically. It had been less than three months since I had faced my fears and come out victorious with Lee at my side.
He was helping me experience a ton of new things—surfing, sky diving, zip-lining. Adventure was his calling. I wasn’t as coordinated or brave—but I was willing.
We had been basically living together since day one like an old married couple, we even had sides of the bed and routines.
“You nervous about seeing Maddy soon?” I asked Lee, running my fingers through his buzzed hair. Madalynne and Parker’s wedding was in less than two months and I wasn’t even sure anymore how I felt about seeing Parker.
“Why would I be?” Lee asked, genuinely confused.
“Are you trying to say you don’t have any feelings for her anymore?” I asked, grinning at him, attempting to call his bluff.
“No, that’s not it.” He pulled me in closer to him. “It’s just that they don’t hold a candle to my feelings for you.”
I straightened myself up so I could look him in the eyes. “Mr. Bennett, are you trying to tell me something?”
His expression got stone cold serious then. “I love you,” he whispered, barely audible.
“What was that? I can’t hear you,” I teased, sticking my tongue out at him.
He looked hurt. “You know how difficult this is for me…”
I inched closer to him, tracing his face lightly with my fingers. “Thank God Maddy made the terrible mistake of passing you up.”
“Oh shut up!” He sighed, exasperated.
“No, I’m serious. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.” I looked back at him, my eyes filled with love. We had been through so much separately and together it was a miracle we were even on speaking terms. From our pasts to the terrible way we treated one another in the beginning to growing together…it felt like we had known one another for a decade or longer. I could clearly state without a doubt that Lee was the person I cared most about in the world.
“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear something like that…” Lee let out a long breath of air, I wondered how long he had been holding it in.
“Hey, look at me.” I lifted his chin towards my face.
“I couldn’t have dreamt something better up if I tried.” Then I closed the distance between us.
Lee’s lips were on mine faster than I could blink. One of his hands gently on the small of my back, and the other caressing my face as we kissed. The passion was growing with each part of our lips, each nibble.
“God, you have no idea how much I missed you,” Lee gasped, moving my hair away from my neck and instantly heading for my spot.
It didn’t take long, he had me hotter than hot. I pushed him onto the bed, which he toppled over onto.
“Bad girl,” he said, grinning naughtily.
“Do I get a spanking?” I perched myself on the bed so I was on all fours, my ass in the air, pointed directly at Lee.
“You are so bad,” Lee hissed, grinning. He grabbed me and threw me underneath him, my back was now flat on the bed. He kissed me again then roughly.
Whatever game we were playing was being enjoyed thoroughly by the both of us.
Lee ripped off my tank top and bra without another word. So, I followed suit removing his shirt.
He took it upon himself to cover whatever exposed parts of my body he came across with kisses and licks. It was just about driving me nuts.
He began kissing me passionately and deeply and then I felt one of his hands massaging me downstairs.
I was beyond wet, and soon enough Lee and I would be closer than ever. Our sex was always mind-blowing, passionate, and wild.
Without any more wasted time both our bottoms had been removed and Lee was in the process of removing my thong.
“Is this new?” He asked, holding it out by his index finger over the side of the bed.
I nodded, blushing.
“Did you buy it for me?”
I nodded again, remaining mute.
He threw it on the ground and then kissed me suddenly. His hand was between my legs, making sure I was ready for him to enter me.
I threw my head back, exhaling loudly. It all felt so good. He always felt so good.
Between my thighs was burning, in a good way as he thrusted in and out, in and out. He sped up his pace and I found myself moaning louder. It wouldn’t be much longer.
I couldn’t help myself, he already knew—but in the moment, it all became that much clearer. “I love you.”
I must have said the magic words because seconds later Lee was convulsing in a positive way, moaning happily.
“I’ll take that as you love me too?”
He was still pa
“Crazy in a good way, I hope!”
He chuckled, letting his head drop again. “I love you, you crazy nut.”
So we were dysfunctional—but there was passion—and it was off the charts.
I was going to love him forever…
Thirty Two – Blunt Honesty & Marriage Proposals
Lee
“Well…are you just going to sit there staring at it or are you going to open it?” Jacqueline broke the silence after nearly five minutes.
I always knew the day would come…I even thought at one point I was prepared for it; judgment day. But instead I found myself scared shitless. It was a catch-22. If I was Tanner’s father, I had a son! But I had missed out on five years of his life. If I wasn’t his father, Ainsley would have disrupted my relationship with Jacqueline for nothing. I couldn’t help feeling a little resentful towards her.
I had been holding the unopened letter as if it were a piece of gold; delicate and lightly. The pit in my stomach growing deeper with each passing moment I wasted.
“Oh hell!” Jacqueline leaned forward and ripped it out of my hands quickly.
“Don’t!” I yelped, lunging for it.
“Then grow a pair and open the damn thing,” Jacqueline replied, handing the letter back to me.
“Fine,” I sighed huffily. “But just remember you asked for it.” And then I ripped the damn thing open once and for all. Shakily, I pulled out the contents inside hoping my fear wasn’t as noticeable as it appeared to be. I swallowed deeply as I began to unfold the paper.
I felt my stomach dip a little. “He’s not my son…” Conflicting emotions were swirling inside me.
Jacqueline’s long release of breath was hard to miss. “You okay?”
I wasn’t sure of the correct response. In fact, I wasn’t sure whether I was supposed to be happy, sad, pissed, or remorseful. The only thing I was sure about was I needed Ainsley as far away from my relationship as possible.
“Excuse me for a second, I need to make a phone call.” I kissed my girlfriend on the top of her head and stood up from the kitchen table, making my way out to the front porch.
I pulled out my cell phone, dialing Ainsley’s number.
“Hello?” Her greeting was so unassuming.
“I got the results.” No pleasantries…I couldn’t help but feel slighted.
“You did…” she didn’t sound surprised.
“He’s not mine Ainsley. Tell me the truth…did you know?”
“What? No! How could you ever think such a thing?” Her voice rose apprehensively.
“Who’s his Father?” Call it curiosity—call it looking out for the kids well-being, but I wanted to know. I thought it was the least I deserved after the roller coaster she had put me through.
“Lee, I really thought he was yours…” She was avoiding the question expertly.
“Ainsley…”
“The other possibility isn’t pretty,” she replied, sounding choked up.
“What have you not told me?” I pushed, wanting answers.
“Do you even remember the last month of our relationship? How checked out I was? How easy I made it on you to dump me? Convenient don’t you think? You want the truth? Here’s the truth, I am only going to say it once—please don’t make me repeat myself…” She inhaled deeply then said, “I was raped. Fourth of July, you were stuck working and I decided to attend a frat party by myself…bad choice it turned out.”
“You’re telling me this now?” All these years I never gave much thought to our breakup, justifying it because she made it so easy on me. I never stopped to think she might be hurting or in danger. I just moved on—what a grade A character I was…
“Lee, I never meant to come in between your relationship. I hope you believe me. Tanner deserved a father and I always hoped and prayed it was you. I didn’t want to have to face the other reality.” She was doing a hell of a job making me feel like an asshole.
“Look Ainsley, you didn’t deserve a lot of the things I put you through, you’re a good person and deserve so much better. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you back then and I’m sorry I’m not Tanner’s father.”
“Good luck with everything Lee, really. You deserve happiness too.” Her voice sounded distant, sad.
“You’ve done a great job raising Tanner up until this point…you don’t need anyone’s help. You are his mom and his dad, never forget that.” I wasn’t sure when I became so wise, but I was rolling with the punches.
“Thanks.”
“Goodbye Ainsley.” I didn’t wait for her to reply before hanging up the call and heading back into my house.
Jacqueline was sprawled out on the bed, nose in a book. She lowered the book slightly as she caught me approaching. “How did it go?”
“Can I be honest with you?”
She nodded. “Always.”
“I don’t even know what I am supposed to feel. I don’t even know what a normal reaction is anymore.”
“Let’s just take it one day at a time,” Jacqueline offered up.
I took the book out of her hands, throwing it to the ground with a thud.
“Marry me.” I didn’t know what came over me, but I was running with it. I had been there for Jacqueline so many times in the past and finally, we had reversed titles—she became my rock. She became my sanity.
“Excuse me?” She asked, choking lightly as I advanced upon her.
“Marry me,” I repeated in almost an identical tone, now straddling her on the bed.
“We’re basically married already—we live together,” Jacqueline giggled nervously. After I remained silent for a few moments she piped up again. “When do you want to do this?”
“Get married? Can you not even say the words?” I poked her in the side and then hopped off her, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I don’t know…but I know I want to do it right,” I responded.
“What do you mean?”
“It means I want to formally ask you.” I pushed a few strands of her blond hair out of her face.
I wasn’t sure how or when, but I had never felt so strongly about anything before…I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Jacqueline Blunt. Marriage used to scare the crap out of me…but after the paternity scare, nothing compared. I wasn’t afraid of anything anymore. I trusted Jacqueline enough to give her my heart with hope that she would protect it.
She was still so young with so much life left to live. Tying her down almost seemed like a bad decision, but I loved her so God damn much I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it. But as much as I needed her, she needed me—she needed someone stable in her life. Someone who was aware of her condition and knew how to handle it. She needed me.
Thirty Three – A Beautiful Ending to a Dysfunctional Love Story
Jacqueline
The greenery, the hippies, the rain. Yep, we were definitely in Oregon. Lee and I decided to come a few days early and explore and have fun before the inevitable ceremony.
“Where are we again?” I asked curiously as I took in our surroundings.
“It’s called Zena Church—Maddy told me about it once…”
“Oh great, I trusted you and you brought me to a haunted church and cemetery!” I smacked him across the shoulder.
“It’s kind of hot, don’t you think?” Lee asked, licking his lips.
“Oh no! You better slow your roll mister! I am not and will not get down and dirty here.” I stood firmly, prepared to stand my ground.
Lee took one look at my surprised face and broke out into a round of chuckles. “Are you scared?”
What kind of question is that? Yes, yes I’m scared,” I replied angered.
“You don’t trust me to protect you?” Lee asked with a droopy lip.
“Of course I tr
“Want to go back to the hotel?”
“Yes please,” I answered quickly.
“Okay party pooper—have it your way,” Lee joked, laughing at his own smart remark.
We climbed back into our rental car and Lee began back towards civilization.