Billy Palmer by Ronald Zastre
“It took a few minutes for the Colonel to get straightened out, but he was still covered with mud and swearing. Most of the camp was there by now and everyone was standing watching, except us, we just went on with our game, not paying any attention. It was real obvious that we probably had something to do with it. They checked the privy, and it seems that someone had removed the check valve return spring from the overhead water tank, so instead of just a measured amount of water coming down to flush his toilet, the whole tank empty itself while the Colonel was still sitting on the pot.”
“A big stink was brewing, the Colonel was going to try and arrest all of us, but an MP Major came from Da Nang. He was called to investigate an attempt to jeopardized the Colonel’s well-being, but after he researched the incident, he came to the conclusion that an enema was not life threatening. The Colonel said that, ‘Tomorrow, the whole bunch of us would be sorry,’ but in the morning there wasn’t a sniper to be found. We all slipped out that night. We gradually came back after about a week, a team at a time, but the thing had blown over. The Colonel had tried to get somebody higher up to take his humiliation seriously, but we heard all he got was a bunch of snickers when the story got around. The Commander of the Sniper School, a two star, personally came and calmed him down, said boys will be boys, or something to that effect. That Colonel, was still giving us dirty looks, till the day I left.”
“One of Billy’s favorites was messing with fresh officers. Back in the rear, around Da Nang, it was still customary to salute, sometimes. We never did of course, hell we never wore rank, so nobody knew if we were officers, or enlisted. Billy would walk by officers, and just when we’d get abreast, he’d shout, ‘Good morning,’ or ‘Good afternoon Sir,’ whatever was appropriate and just keep on walking. The officers would spin around to accept the acknowledgment, and get our backs as we were walking away. You wouldn’t believe it, but some of those idiots would try to make an issue out of it. It was hilarious, some boy wonder trying to get the MP’s to charge us with insubordination or some stupid thing, and the MP’s trying to explain, to this guy, that there was really nothing they could do, considering who we were. Anytime there was a beef the normal thing was to go to a Marine’s Commanding Officer, but that didn’t really apply to us. The head of the MP’s in Da Nang personally requested that we cut the crap because he had more important issues than officers being insulted.”
“Billy and I would go into Da Nang, once in a while with captured gear. For two AK 47’s we could get a pallet of beer delivered to the base. One AK for the beer and one for the delivery.”
“That’s a lot of beer,” Manny commented.
“I have no idea. We were never there, warm Falstaff was not our idea of a good time. Billy joked he was spoiled because Minnesotans always had cold beer.”
“Aside from the screwing around, Billy was a good teacher and he really went out of his way with new guys. We lost a couple in the first month due to stupid mistakes, and from then on Billy worked hard to familiarize everyone with what to expect. He had this exercise called Blind Man’s Bluff. Did he ever tell you about it?”
“No, never heard of it?”
“Billy used it to get new guys mellowed out about being out in the jungle, alone. When you’re out there waiting is what you do most of the time. It can get really boring and your mind can wander. If somebody’s inexperienced the idle time can get them to thinking about the wrong thing, so Billy devised ways to focus. One was Blind Man’s Bluff.”
“You would start just before dawn and pretend you were blind, which wasn’t far from the truth. In the jungle it’s so dark you can’t see a thing, your eyes are worthless, and so you must use the other senses. It is not the kind of situation that you can afford to be out of touch with your surroundings. You would concentrate on the other senses, and it is incredible what you can hear, smell, feel, if you can’t see anything. As it starts to get light you concentrate on combining the new sense, sight, and the others. It works, it focuses your mind to your surroundings. Many of the guys would be uptight until they practiced this a couple of times. You do the opposite in the evening. I still practice it when I’m burned out or stressed. You should try it.”
“Of course now it would be irrelevant,” Mark Tainer laughed. “I went to the VA for a complete physical a couple of years ago and they told me my eyes are still pretty good, but not like they used to be. My night vision is terrible, and my hearing isn’t worth a shit. I wouldn’t last a day in that environment now. I couldn’t sneak up on a blind man anymore.
“I can’t imagine you guys being so calm about what you were doing, I’d be a wreck,” Manny said.
“You needed a philosophy to stay sane and efficient. Mine was that the enemy was better off not knowing we were there, then we didn’t have to kill them. I remember one time we had stumbled into a bunker complex without them knowing it. Fuckin NVA all over the place. We were a little surprised too. We had a hell of a time getting back out without being discovered. At one point I was about ten feet from this NVA and he was looking right at me, but didn’t see me in the foliage. I kept thinking, buddy, don’t screw up and spot me, or you’re dead.”
“You never got scared?”
“Sure I was scared, but I did what I had to do, that’s all. I don’t remember Billy ever really sweating the missions though, except his door gunner stint. We got to know some of the pilots and one said we could serve a rotation as a door gunner on his Huey Gun-ship. Billy went first, he was excited about not having to be on the ground. I guess it was a little unnerving because when he got back, he recommended that I forget the whole thing. I believed him and didn’t take my turn. He said that they would fly six or seven missions a day and that made the odds look bad. He was sitting on the skids, one day, with an ammo box full of sandwiches between his knees. When he looked down the box was gone and there was a hole in the floor. They’d come back from missions and the ship would be full of holes. They got shot down one time and he said it was not a very safe way to fight a war, they made too good a target.”
Mark got a call and told Manny that he had business.
Manny said he too had to hit the road because he had made plans to visit Billy’s mother next.
Tainer said to call anytime.
Chapter 15
“I hope I’m not disturbing you Mrs. Palmer?” Manny apologized, as Billy’s mother welcomed him into her home.
“Oh no, it was nice of you to come see me, I don’t get many visitors anymore, not since my husband died. Gwen is so far away, down there in Texas, and Kris is always working so hard he never gets any time to spend with his own mother. You still up there in Red Pine?”
“Yes, it’s still a great place to live, except the winters are getting tougher to accept. Of course I can get away much more now.”
“That’s nice. I went to Texas for Christmas once, but it was just too hard on me, all that traveling and the cost. My word, I can’t believe how much it was, over three hundred dollars, just to go to Texas and back.”
“That must have been some time ago Mrs. Palmer?”
“Yes, it was the year after my husband died. He never wanted to go see Gwen. I can tolerate her new husband, but my husband just couldn’t overlook other people’s faults.”
“Tom has always been a heck of a good person Mrs. Palmer, I can’t see why your husband would’ve had a problem there?”
“Oh, he was much too critical of people’s imperfections. If they didn’t come up to his standards, he wouldn’t have a thing to do with them.”
“I always got along with him.”
“You were young, so he could overlook your faults. When he figured you were a man though, then you had to straighten up.”
“He didn’t give Billy the same consideration, if I remember correctly.”
“Billy got a roof over his head and meals on the table. That was a lot more than my husband got from his father, I can tell you that.”
“I guess, Mrs. Palmer, but the reason
“No, there wasn’t anything that I remember. Billy didn’t bring anything back.”
“No letters, or cards, anything that he might have sent you?”
“No nothing, he didn’t send anything. Those Vietnam bums got away with everything. My husband was in WWII and those were real soldiers, not like those pot heads they sent over there. They lost that war. Our government gave them the best guns and all those fancy planes, and they still lost. My husband said a monkey could have won that war, with all that stuff they got. Smoked too much pot to do anything right.”
“I don’t remember Billy smoking any pot.”
“Oh, you weren’t his mother, I know.”
“But, Mrs. Palmer, I was Billy’s best friend and we drank beer, maybe some hard stuff, but I don’t remember any marijuana until after he was back from the war.”
“Don’t tell a mother she doesn’t know about what’s going on with her boys, she knows.”
“It must have been hard for you, having him there and not knowing what to expect.”
“Billy didn’t care what I went through, none of those Nam vets gave a darn about anything but their drugs. Look at that Campbell. Guy didn’t care about anything, but getting high, put Gwen through hell.”
“But, Mrs. Palmer, in all fairness, Billy and John Campbell were very different people.”
“No, they weren’t! They were peas in a pod, those two, both the same. Never cared about anything but themselves. Going from woman to woman, just messing everybody’s lives up.”
“Gee, I don’t remember Billy being much of a womanizer Mrs. Palmer.”
“Oh, he had all those girlfriends, all the time. He was going from one to the other. My husband told me a lot, let me tell you. He knew what Billy was up to. I wasn’t in the dark about Billy’s shenanigans, no sireey, a mother knows.”
“Billy was just friends with those girls. He was like a brother to most of the girls we knew.”
“Nope, a man don’t hang around with a women to be her friend.”
“Mrs. Palmer, I think you’re wrong about that.”
“I’m not wrong Manny Anderson. You’re just sticking your head in the sand. I didn’t want to say anything, but Billy was trying to steal your girlfriend too.”
“My girlfriend?”
“Yes, your girlfriend, the pretty blond that was always hanging on Billy.”
“You mean Cassey Miller?”
“Yeah, that’s the one. Didn’t you two get married?”
“Yes, we did?”
“There you go, her and Billy were going on behind your back and you didn’t even know. See a mother knows. My husband told me everything.”
“Well, I’m sorry to inform you that you’ve got it all wrong. I’m the one that stole Billy’s girlfriend. It was the other way around, Mrs. Palmer.”
“Oh pooh, Billy had so many girlfriends, one didn’t make any difference to him. He fooled around so much that he never got married, or had any kids. If it hadn’t been for Kris, I would have never had any grandchildren. Billy didn’t care about me. He didn’t care when I had to see those men in uniforms coming to my door, scaring me like that!”
“I don’t think you can blame that on Billy.”
“He was the one doing the drugs, getting hurt because he was high all the time, and I was the one that had the uniforms coming to my door. They even stopped at the neighbors once because they couldn’t find my house. Walked right up to the door where his sister was babysitting. Poor thing called me. Now, do you think that was something that a good son and brother would have done? No, but you see Billy only cared about himself.”
“Mrs. Palmer, he was fighting a war, he wasn’t getting—”
“If they were so busy fighting a war, as you say, how come they lost it, huh, how come?”
“It’s a long story that I’m working on.”
“Oh pish posh. I was a young girl when they won WWII, and I’ll tell you they didn’t play around then. My husband was a sailor in that one, and I can tell you those were real fighting men. My husband never put his mother through what Billy did to me.”
“Your husband was never wounded?”
“No, they were real fighting men, like I told you, and they never fooled around with drugs, got the job done. You know he told me all about it. He told me why those guys in Vietnam couldn’t win. All drugged out, chasing after those Oriental whores, not doing their jobs and then coming back here, and expecting everything given to them. No sireey, they didn’t deserve anything. If that war had of gone any longer, Kris was going to go to Canada. Now there is a fine boy, a good son. You know we tried to help Billy when he got back, his father and I, but he refused. What do you do then?”
“Tried to help him, how?”
“Well, first he needed to be cleansed of his sins, to make a fresh start. Our pastor was going to re-baptize him so he would be free from the sins he committed in that godforsaken place. He needed to admit to his sins and then only then could he be free.”
“I didn’t know your family was religious.”
“My husband said that was what Billy needed to do.”
“I see, you expected him to be a spectacle in front of your church? That’s what he needed?”
“To make a fresh start, yes. He figured that life just went on, like he had done nothing wrong. Well, he was wrong wasn’t he, he proved that. He never amounted to anything and it was his own fault. Before my husband died, he told me he was so disappointed his first son never amounted to anything. He was so happy there was Kris, Kris made up for Billy.”
“I’m sorry that you understand so little. Did you know that your son was a hero? I’ve just visited with a man that confirmed it.”
“A hero you say. Sneaking around, shooting people in the back. My husband found out what he did over there and I’ll tell you it was despicable. My husband said that in WWII they shot those guys right away.”
“The other side’s, I’m sure they did.”
“My husband said nobody liked those guys, so secretive and all that. That was just like Billy when he got back, never saying anything, just watching. I’ll tell you, we didn’t trust him. Never know when those guys could explode. Use to worry my husband a lot. We had Gwen and Kris to worry about. Couldn’t have Billy going off and hurting them.”
“I remember Billy being really good to those kids. I know some of Kris’s friends really liked Billy, he watched out for all of them”
“Well, my husband and I would have never let Billy hurt any of those kids.”
“I’m telling you, he would have never hurt anybody, you didn’t have to worry, Mrs. Palmer.” Manny was angry
“Because we didn’t let him! Aren’t you listening to me Manny Anderson, you need to remember, a mother knows.”
“Oh, I’m listening, but I’m not believing what I’m hearing. I think I’ll just go Mrs. Palmer. Have a nice day.”
Chapter 16
“Mr. Ted Gannet, my name is Manny Anderson, and I understand that you knew a Bill Palmer?” Manny asked into the telephone in his kitchen, back home again.
“Name doesn’t ring a bell, offhand,” Gannet answered.
“I have information that says a William, Billy Palmer worked for you in the middle eighties.”
“Like I said, I don’t recall—”
“I’m not an investigator for anyone, Mr. Gannet. I’m simply looking for information about somebody’s life, and your name came up. I am not out to hurt anyone.”
“How do I know that?”
“I can give you my number, and you call here. You’ll see that I’m nothing more than a retail exec.”
“If you were up to no good that would be an excellent cover, now wouldn’t it Mr., what was the name you used?”
“Manny Anderson and it’s my real name. Billy was an old friend.”
“Where did you say you were calling from?”
“Red Pine Min
“This Palmer character from there too?”
“Yes, he was.”
“Well, I remember Palmer telling me he was from some small Minnesota town, Red something, so I guess you could have known him.”
“You did know him then?”
“Yeah, I knew him,” Gannet responded.
“Mr. Gannet, if you don’t mind, I’d like to come down to Tucson and speak with you in person.”
“What’re you trying to get on Palmer? Has he done anything?”
“No, Mr. Gannet, he died recently, and I’m trying to put his life back together.”
“He’s dead? Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Gannet sounded sad.
“Yeah, we were close friends once and I made the mistake of losing that friendship out of negligence. I guess I’m trying to make amends.”
“And, a little late for that, wouldn’t you say old friend of his,” Gannet added sternly.
“Yes, I know.”
“Minnesota huh?” Gannet sounded friendlier. “Got to be damn cold today. It’s a lot nicer here in Tucson, I’m sure.”
“Are you a mind reader Mr. Gannet?”
“Call me Ted, and Mr. Anderson, it doesn’t take a clairvoyant to suspect the reason you want to come here. I grew up in Grand Forks N. Dakota.”
“You figured me out that’s for sure, and call me Manny. You a golfer Ted?”
“I play some.”
*
“So the visit to see Billy’s mother was a bust, huh?” Cassey asked, sitting at the kitchen table eating hot soup.
“Man, is she batty,” Manny answered, cradling a hot mug in his hands. “She’s convinced that Billy tried to steal you from me, and that Kris was a good kid.”
“Kris, that screw off, and talk about a druggy,” Cassey said.
“No shit! She’s convinced that Billy was a terrible womanizer, and Kris was a saint.”
“I never really knew her, or his dad, Billy didn’t spend too much time there,” Cassey returned. They were nicey-nice to me, phony, made me uncomfortable. Billy’s dad really pulled one on him once. Billy had gotten his license and asked to use his mother’s car so we could go to a show. He had made arrangements for Saturday night and he was picking me up at seven. It was our first car date. For two years we had to walk everywhere. Half an hour before Billy was going to pick me up, his dad took the car. His dad never used that car, only his mother drove it. Poor Billy had to call and tell me we were back to walking. About a month later his dad asked Billy if he wanted to use the car to take me out? Billy said okay, told his dad Saturday night would be great. Saturday night came and Billy’s dad was at home, figuring to do the same thing, but he didn’t realize Billy had outsmarted him and never intended to use the car. We came and picked Billy up before his dad pulled his stunt. Man, was his father pissed. I couldn’t believe a father could be such a jerk.”