Born of Silence by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Zarya gaped at Darling.
His features darkened as he clutched the remote in his hand. Vicious memories of that event rushed through him and he wanted blood for it. He returned her shocked expression with a fierce growl. "They were violating me with a pole and the doctor stood there watching, telling them to be more sadistic with it. When they hit me in the arm with the pole, it knocked loose one of my restraints. As soon as I had my arm free, I beat the shit out of them. And yes, I enjoyed it. Every second of it, and every scream they let out while I did it. My only regret was that they sedated me before I could kill them."
Zarya felt sick at what he described, and at the shame that tinged the anger in his jerking eyes. Damn that bastard for dredging up something so foul.
Still, when one didn't know Darling's side of the event...
"I understand, but it sounds so bad from the doctor's point of view."
"Of course it does. You don't really think he'd put in a report that his treatment was to sanction the brutal rape of a patient, do you?" He cursed under his breath as the reporter continued to question Giran about his mental capacity and inability to lead them.
Zarya cringed with every word. The saddest part of it all was that Darling would never set the record straight. His shame and horror over it ran too deep.
And she couldn't blame him for it. In his place, she wouldn't breathe a word of it either.
He gestured toward the monitor with the remote. "They're taking everything out of context and spinning it to annihilate me. It's..." His voice trailed off as his eyes widened and his face went stark white.
Zarya turned to see a naked teenaged Darling with Nylan. Maris was right. Darling was crying and it was painfully obvious that he wanted no part of Nylan's groping. Her stomach tightened to the point she thought she'd be sick as she grabbed the remote from his hand and turned it off.
Horrified agony was etched deep into his features.
She felt as if she'd been hit with a blow. "Darling?"
He didn't move. His gaze on the floor, he sat there as if he were comatose.
"Sweetie?"
Still, he didn't respond in any way. It was as if the pain was so great that all he could do to survive it was to withdraw from everything. Even her.
Wanting to soothe him, she reached to brush her hand through his hair.
He jerked away. "Don't touch me!" Those snarled words brought tears to her eyes. Pain bled from every pore of his body. He was aching on a level she couldn't imagine. No one should ever be so hurt.
Darling couldn't think as memories surged and brought him to his knees.
But the worst was having Zarya see it...
Why would the gods do this to him? Why did they make her see his shame?
Needing to withdraw from her and the pain of his past, he slid off the bed and headed for the bathroom. He only took three steps before his jerking vision unbalanced him and sent him to the floor.
He ground his teeth as his fury mounted. I can't even walk myself to the fucking toilet...
Arturo had been right after all. He was a useless piece of shit, unfit to breathe, never mind run an empire.
Suddenly, Zarya was there, helping him to his feet.
With no choice, he allowed her to put him back in bed. Something that didn't help his ego at all. I'm so worthless...
She brushed the hair back from his face. "Bad things happen to decent people, Darling. It's so wrong, but--"
"Don't you dare patronize me!" he snarled.
"I'm not. Believe me, I'm not." She gestured toward the bedroom door that led to the hall. "My mother and sister were killed in this palace. Brutally. Why? Because they dared to ask an old friend for mercy. A friend. Someone my mother had known most of her life. A man we'd all sat down to dinner with. She didn't deserve that any more than you deserve what was done to you."
"I know that, Zarya. I do. Just as I know the horror and shame of that video won't kill me--even though I've wished a million times that it would. I've been forced to live with it being thrown in my face for years. I... I just need a minute to catch my breath and cope, okay?"
Zarya hesitated. Did he really need to be left alone? She wasn't sure. But then he'd never asked that of her before. Surely he wouldn't send her away if he needed her.
Deciding to give him some time to himself, she relented. "All right, sweetie. I'll go see Maris. Call me if you need anything."
He responded with a single nod.
Her heart breaking for him, she left his room. Fain and Hauk looked up from where the two of then were sitting on the floor, against the opposite wall.
In spite of Darling's wishes and protests, the men had stayed to guard him should any of the gerents or people try to harm him after tonight's events.
She paused beside Hauk as she studied the three strange pyramids in his hand. "What are you doing?"
"Playing Squerin."
He said it like she should know exactly what it was. "I've never heard of it."
Fain laughed. "It's an old Andarion game. From the way Dancer plays, I don't think he's ever heard of it either."
"Stop calling me that," Hauk growled at his brother.
Fain scoffed at his anger. "I'm not about to call you Hauk. Sorry. My name, too, and it gets confusing as hell whenever I'm around you. Every time someone yells out for you, I think they're calling me. So your parents named you something stupid. Take a stone from Darling, and deal with it."
"I'll take a testicle, all right, but it won't be from Darling." He glared meaningfully at his brother.
Zarya wrinkled her nose at their sudden hostility. "I feel so bad. You two were playing nicely until I bothered you. I didn't mean to cause a fight."
Fain reached for the pyramids. "Don't take it personally. We're Andarion. Which means we're perpetually pissed off."
"Yeah," Hauk agreed. "We're always fighting about something, even if it means making up a fight over nothing."
She laughed. "All right, then. I'll leave you to it."
Before she could move, Hauk jerked his head toward the bedroom door. "Is he okay?"
Zarya wasn't sure how to answer that. Like them, she was worried about Darling and how he was coping with this unending barrage of insults and public ridicule. "Depends on the definition. I don't think I'd use the word 'fine' per se. But he's coping better than I would."
"Then why are you leaving?" Fain asked.
"He wanted a few minutes alone. So I thought I'd go see what Maris was getting into."
Hauk rolled the pyramids onto the floor. "Ah... take your time. Don't worry about Darling, we'll keep our ears open."
Coming from Andarions, who had incredible auditory abilities, that made her feel better. Until another thought occurred to her... She outwardly cringed as she realized that they'd probably heard everything that had happened between her and Darling.
Fain looked up and froze. "I can tell by your expression what you're thinking and no, we weren't eavesdropping while you were in the room with him. We think more of the two of you than to do that, and we figured if you needed us, you'd holler."
That made her feel a lot better. "Thank you." She blew him a kiss before she continued on her way.
When she started down the ornate wing where Maris lived, it suddenly struck her that this was now her home, too. If she married Darling, this was where she'd live out her life, birth her children, and most likely die...
In a palace.
The mere thought froze her in place.
And it wasn't just any palace. It was the palace of an enemy she'd spent her entire adulthood trying to ruin and overthrow.
A foreign sensation washed over her at that realization. What am I doing?
For a moment, she couldn't breathe as it all slammed into her with a clarity she'd lacked before.
She really was engaged to the Caronese governor...
To the most powerful person in their empire. One of the most powerful people in the entire universe. Darling ruled the second la
And she would be his crowned consort.
Now there was something you didn't get to do every day.
Her heart pounded as she looked around at all the gilding on the crown molding over her head. At the portraits of Darling's ancestors and their cold gazes that seemed to judge her as insufficient.
If she married him, her picture would hang here as well. Forever. Generations of Cruels, staff, and visitors would look up at her, just as she'd done at all of them.
Her stomach hit the floor as cold panic bit her viciously.
You don't have to stay here, you know. You can always go home. Return to her old life.
Granted, she'd have to find a new cause to fight for since she was probably the only Caronese alive who didn't want to overthrow the new governor. But she didn't have to stay here.
Darling had kept her apartment for her. He'd given her the keys, money...
I want you with me because you want to be here. You're free to leave at any time. I won't stop you. Those words still choked her whenever she thought about them. She'd asked him why he'd kept her place after he'd been freed, but he'd refused to answer. Deep inside, she suspected it was more a matter that he had a hard time letting go of the things he loved. And while he'd been furious at her, that apartment had been a place where they'd been happy together.
That was where she'd assumed she would live with Kere once they married.
Zarya looked down at the huge ring on her finger. While similar, it was very different from the first one he'd given her. The one that had been stolen by the slaver... Darling had never once asked her about the first ring.
She tried her best not to think about the fact that while he'd lost his finger trying to keep her ring with him, she hadn't fought the slaver to keep Darling's ring at all.
Please tell me that ring wasn't sentimental to him... That fear and guilt were what kept her from asking him about it.
"Mistress?"
She jumped at the deep voice behind her.
Jerking around, she saw the new captain of Darling's guards there--Darling had killed the former one. "Yes?"
He bowed respectfully to her. "Forgive me, Mistress, if I scared you. I saw you standing here and just wanted to make sure you were all right."
Smiling, she nodded. "I was just thinking about some things. Sorry. Apparently, I got so lost in thought that I stopped walking."
He started away, then hesitated. After a few heartbeats, he turned back to face her. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"
His question piqued her curiosity. "Not at all."
"I, um, I don't know if you remember me or not, but I was the guard who carried you up to the mistress's room when you hurt your ankle."
Her face heated up at the reminder. How could she ever forget something like that? "I remember."
Regret and shame filled his eyes. "Given what's being said about everything the governor's done to you in the news, I wanted to apologize if I've hurt you or caused you to be hurt in any way. If there's ever anything I can do to help you, please let me know."
Her smile melted into a scowl. "I don't understand."
He stepped closer so that he could whisper to her in a low tone. "If you need help escaping, Mistress, I--"
"Oh good grief, not you, too."
Now it was his turn to frown. "How do you mean?"
She would laugh if it wasn't so ridiculous. "Captain, I'm not a prisoner or a slave or anything else that's bad." She held her hands up to show him her skin. "Do you see any bruises on me?"
"No, ma'am."
"Do I look abused in any way?"
"No, but--"
"There are no buts." She patted him lightly on his arm, grateful and offended by his concern. "How long have you been a guard for the governor?"
"About four years."
"Four years," she repeated, thinking about how many things had changed in her life in such a short period of time. In some ways it seemed like an eternity and in others, like a blink.
"Do you know, Captain, that I've known the current governor far longer than that? In fact, he was a member of the Resistance before he took the throne."
His jaw went slack. "What?"
"It's true. I swear it."
"I don't understand. If he was one of the Resistance, then why did they take him prisoner?"
Her stomach knotted at that question. "They didn't realize who he was. And neither did I. Not until it was too late. Because he was the prince, whenever he fought with us he didn't dare show his face. Yet he was there by our sides. Battle after battle. He fought for all of us against his uncle. Many times. Both here in the palace and out on the streets. I can't tell you how much money and blood he's spent and shed in defense of his people."
He shook his head in denial. "I don't believe it. When he came to power, he slaughtered so many who were innocent."
"Innocent?" she asked in disbelief. "You said you'd been here for four years. Were you not aware of what was done to him under his uncle's reign?"
He looked away, but not before she saw the horror in his dark eyes. "I heard some stories from others. But I never saw anything myself."
"Stories or bragging?" she asked him.
His face turned bright red. "Bragging mostly."
She didn't even want to contemplate what they'd said. It wasn't often someone was given a free reign to brutalize a member of the aristocracy with impunity. "I promise you the stories you heard didn't do the reality justice. When he came to power, Darling only attacked the ones who'd hurt him. It's why you're still a captain and why he never went after you. I'm going to wager that you never once did him harm."
His gaze told her that she'd guessed correctly. "What about the gerents, then? Why are they rebelling against him?"
"They're angry that Darling changed the amount of time they can work their employees into the ground. All of this was caused by that one, simple thing." She gestured down the hall that led to where she'd left Hauk and Fain. "You've seen the men and women who've come in here to protect and watch over Governor Cruel. Do you know who and what they are?"
"I'm not sure. But I think I heard a couple of them say Sentella and Tavali."
"Exactly. Do you truly think they'd protect a monster?"
"Yeah, I wondered about that."
"You shouldn't," she assured him. "I promise you, they would be the first to kill Darling if he was the animal the media said he was. For that matter..." She lifted the hem of her dress to show him the small blaster she had sheathed in an ankle holster. "I've been armed since His Majesty was attacked in his office. I stay awake while he sleeps. If he were hurting me in any way or posing a threat to our people, I promise you, I would have killed him myself."
"The news says that he's brainwashed you."
She scoffed. "Do you really think that?"
"But I've heard you scream while you've been here. A lot."
Heat stung her cheeks again. "It wasn't from pain. I assure you."
"What about all the blood in your room and his that the housekeepers clean up on a daily basis?"
"It's not mine, and it never has been mine. It's from the governor when we change his bandages or he gets nosebleeds... which he gets a lot." She left off a couple of other causes since she doubted Darling would want a stranger to know his business. "Not one drop of the blood has ever belonged to me. A simple DNA test will show that."
There was still doubt in his eyes.
She opened her mouth to further allay his fears, but before she could speak, something shattered loudly. At first she couldn't tell where it came from.
Not until Fain and Hauk jumped to their feet, then kicked in Darling's door.
In that instant, she knew.
Darling was under attack.
22
By the time Zarya and the guard made it to Darling's room, the fight was over.
Darling stood over the bodies of two assassins while Hauk cursed in his effort to get Darling to show him the woun
Holding a wadded up shirt against the injury, Darling smacked at Hauk's hand. "I'm trying to stop the bleeding, asshole."
Unperturbed, Hauk acted more like a patient mother than a bodyguard. "I want to see how bad it is."
"It's fine, Hauk. Believe me, I've had a lot worse. It glanced off the rib and didn't go deep." Darling's nonchalance left her speechless. But then, she'd seen him as Kere handle some rather nasty wounds without reacting to them either.
Fain shook his head at Darling and Hauk as they continued to argue over the shirt. "Just call for a medic, Dancer, damn. Leave the boy alone."
"No," Darling snapped. "No medics. I don't trust them. I'm not about to let one of them treat me, especially given all the shit going on right now."
Fain made an obscene gesture at him. "Not one of yours, dumbass. I wouldn't trust them, either. Call the Sentella. Didn't I see a medic come in with them?"
Hauk shook his head. "I don't think so."
Darling nodded at Fain. "Kerste came in about four hours ago."
"Isn't he a gunner?" Hauk asked.
Darling rolled his eyes, which had thankfully stopped jerking--she didn't want to think about what would have happened had they been doing that while he fought his attackers. "No. He's medical. Don't you remember? He's the one who stitched your leg that time when you went after those bounty hunters who'd been preying on kids."
"Oh yeah." Hauk's scowl deepened. "Then why did he come here?"
Darling gestured sarcastically to the shirt that was now saturated with blood. "Syn wanted someone close to me in case something misfired after the surgery."
"Ah." While Hauk pulled out his link to call Kerste, Darling gave her a small smile to let her know he really was all right.
Then he looked past her to his guard. "Captain Harren? Would you please contact the sentries and make sure that none of them were attacked by the assassins? I don't want one of them lying under a bush, bleeding out because they haven't been missed yet."
Zarya wasn't sure why it surprised her that he knew the guard's name. But the expression on Harren's face was comical. It was a mixture of disbelief, shock, and a big dollop of fear and trepidation.
"How do you know my name, Majesty?"
"I know everyone's name," Darling said matter-of-factly. "Especially the ones like you, who are decent and who take pride in doing their job well." He glanced to Zarya, before he returned his attention to Harren. "I also know you have a thing for my sister. And if you want to talk to her or ask her out, you need to. Otherwise she's going to think you're a depraved stalker the way you watch her every time she comes home."