Dream So Dark by Quinn Loftis
“We cannot know his purpose, my love,” Dair said gently. “We only see what’s before us. He sees beginning to end and everything in between. I have no idea why this has happened to Emma nor do I understand how He is going to use it, but she believes He will. Emma may only be eight years old, but she has the mind and comprehension of an adult. She knows what she’s saying. She understands the danger of staying where she is. Raphael and I will respect her wishes, and we will do everything in our power to protect her but understand, just like you, we are created. We have only the power bestowed on us by the Creator.”
Darla stared at him with wide eyes. He could see the struggle going on inside of her. She understood how intelligent Emma was. She believed in God and that He had a plan, but she also had the instincts to protect her young at all cost, and she had claimed Emma as her own.
Serenity was having a harder time. She was younger, still slightly impetuous. Her emotions for the girl threatened to overcome her. Then again, she’d almost died for little Emma. Serenity’s protective instincts for Emma were through the roof. Dair imagined it was killing Serenity not to be able to protect the child.
“So we just do nothing?” Serenity asked.
“Until Emma says otherwise, yes,” Dair confirmed. “We do nothing.”
“I don’t like it,” Darla said, but he heard the resignation in her voice. She would respect Emma’s wishes. “Tell me the truth, Dair,” she said looking him directly in the eyes. “How is she?”
“She was asleep when I saw her. Raphael said she was holding it together. She’s tough, and her parents set an excellent foundation for her. She will not be unaffected by this, obviously, but it will not break her.”
Darla nodded. She sat back down, and Wayne reached for her hand. He wrapped it in his larger one, and she seemed to grasp onto it as though it were a lifeline.
“I’m not sure how this is relevant,” he began rubbing his chin with one hand. “My assignment last night was Mrs. Sunders. She is Emma’s teacher. In her dream, my influence was to make sure she goes to work this Friday. I don’t know why it is so imperative that the teacher be there, but it is important enough that Lucifer himself has taken an interest in her. He usually works through minions. But Mrs. Sunder and Serenity have grabbed his attention, and he seems to have made it his personal responsibility to keep both of them from their path.”
“Me?” Serenity asked, her brows drew down low over her confused eyes.
Dair nodded. “Dr. Michaels.”
“Was Lucifer?” She gasped.
“A sheep in wolf’s clothing, Princess.”
“I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” Wayne said. “Darla said just the other day that the devil had come to Yellville.”
“What?” Dair and Serenity said at the same time.
Darla blew out a breath, causing her cheeks to puff out. “You might want to take a seat for this.” She motioned to the empty chair across from her. Once he was seated, she began. By the time she was finished, Dair was back on his feet, pacing the room. He knew his eyes were pitch black and swirling.
Everything seemed to be crashing in on them, and the only thing he’d been able to find out is that Lucifer had a definite interest in Emma, Serenity, and Mrs. Sunder. He obviously had a huge influence over the school Emma was attending, but what did Wayne and Darla have to do with it?
“Why attack you?” he asked Darla.
“We are the safe place for both girls. The devil doesn’t want anyone safe. Safety means it’s harder for him to influence them. All he has is influence. It’s like you said, Dair. He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, weaving his way through the flock. He seeks the weak, wounded, lonely, and angry. What Emma endured could rip away all of her positive emotions, leaving her with only the negative. People who hold onto those negative emotions stop listening to anything else, and all they hear are the lies that he whispers to them. They pull away from everything and everyone until they’re alone, and that is just how the devil wants you—alone.”
“He doesn’t want her to have a safe place to go,” Serenity said quietly, almost as if she was speaking to herself.
“Exactly,” Darla agreed. “Too bad for him that I don’t take too kindly to someone trying to deceive me, push me around, or hurt those who are mine to protect. Lucifer wants a fight? He’s got one.”
“Have you heard anything else from the DHS worker?” Serenity asked.
Darla shook her head. “I’m beginning to wonder if there aren’t some minions being employed in that place. Seems like a good place to put some influence. They have so much control over so many little lives. UGH!” Darla growled. “It just flat out pisses me off!”
“Maybe everything that’s happening with Emma will break his stronghold,” Dair suggested. “Whatever purpose she is to serve, it is something big. The best thing we can do is try to pay attention to where the Creator wants us in His plan. Even if we don’t particularly like the role we are playing.” He glanced at Serenity. “We can’t see the whole picture.”
Her lips tightened, but she eventually nodded at him.
“Now what?” Wayne asked.
“Now we get Serenity settled in and help her continue to heal. Darla, you keep hounding DHS, just so they know we aren’t going away. I will continue to check in with Raphael and Emma and be here with Serenity, especially when you’re sleeping,” he said, looking at her meaningfully.
“And you have to do your job,” she pointed out. “How can you do it all?”
He held up a hand to stop her. “You forget, love, I’m an immortal. I do not require rest. I wasn’t created with such a need. I can and will do all that is required and needed of me.” She looked as if she wanted to say more, but she closed her lips tightly and looked away from him. He wondered what was going through her mind. She looked tired, worried, and a little defeated, which is exactly how Lucifer wanted her to feel. He walked over and picked her up. “You need to rest.
“I’d really like a shower first,” she said. “I want to wash the hospital funk off.”
“To the shower it is then,” he said heading in the direction of their bathroom. When Dair set her on her feet, he cupped her face in both hands and lowered himself down so he could look at her without her having to tilt her head back “Are you okay?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not. But I’m going to have to suck it up and deal with it. Sometimes, that’s just what you have to do.”
He leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. She never ceased to amaze him. “I’m so sorry that I can’t fix it all. I’m so sorry that you’ve been hurt so many times. I just—”
She placed her hand gently over his mouth. “You can’t fix everything, Dair. And it’s necessary for us to go through difficult things. What kind of people would we be if we never endured anything? How would we grow and change? It sucks, pure and simple, it sucks. But the Creator wouldn’t be doing us any favors if he removed every obstacle from our path or protected us from every pain or hardship. It would be crippling to us. Do I want to accept it? No. Do I want to kill the man who hurt Emma? Yes, yes, I do. Is that right? I don’t honestly know. What I do know is that I am not good to anyone if I don’t get better, and I know that Emma is good to her core. If she believes she has a purpose where she is, then I will trust her. I don’t like it, but I will trust her.”
Dair removed her hand from his mouth and kissed her. It was slow and tender. He pulled back just far enough to look into her eyes. “I love you, Serenity Tillman.”
She smiled. “I know. And I love you back.”
Dair stepped backward, giving her room to close the door. “I’ll be waiting for you in your room. Take your time.”
Chapter Twelve
Dreaming of the moon means that you should prepare yourself to be patient. Forces beyond your control are exerting their influence on your life. To fight them would be futile, just as it would be futile for the ocean to fight the moon’s pull on its tides. That or you’re just hungry
Serenity walked over and turned on the shower water. She was moving mechanically, not even thinking about her actions. When she was finally beneath the spray of the water, her composure crumbled. Emma, precious, happy, resilient Emma, had been hurt. Dair hadn’t given specifics, but it didn’t take much to imagine what had probably happened. God, had she even been checked by a doctor? Had Raphael wrapped her in his arms and made her feel safe, even if it was only a lie? Why couldn’t she or Darla have been there? If it had to happen, if for whatever reason this was something that would be used for good, why couldn’t they at least have been there to support her?
Her legs shook until she could no longer hold herself up. Serenity ended up sitting on the floor of the tub, her legs pulled to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Her head was tucked into her knees as the tears streamed down her face, mixing with the water that sprayed down over her. The bullet that had pierced her body and nearly killed her was like a pebble bouncing off of her compared to the pain she was feeling over what her precious friend had endured. She shook and her stomach threatened to relieve her of her meager hospital breakfast and lunch, but she forced herself to swallow them down and take slow, deep breaths. If Emma could pull herself together, then Serenity would do the same. She would be strong because there would come a day when Emma wouldn’t be able to be strong anymore and she would need someone else to hold her up. Serenity would be ready and willing to be there for her.
After several more minutes of pulling herself together, she stood and showered, cleaning away the hospital smell and covering herself in her familiar body wash and shampoo. Something so simple, and yet it seemed to help ground her. The familiarity of the space, the smells, and the sounds, filled Serenity with a security that she hadn’t been able to feel while in the hospital. Perhaps now she would be free of the nightmares. Maybe she would have some sort of protection, or more control over her mind while she slept, if she was in a familiar place. She had no clue if that made any sense whatsoever, but she was going to go with it, if for no other reason that it made her feel less helpless. She hated feeling helpless.
She turned the shower off, stepped out, and dried herself. By the time she was dressed and leaving the steamy room, she felt more like herself than she had in a while. She pushed the door open to her room and smiled when she found Dair spread out on her bed. His large form was covered in his usual black. He was looking back at her with such desire that his longing was palpable. He reached out his hand to her, and she went to him without thought.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“Yes. Is that horrible?”
He pulled her down onto the bed next to him and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into the shelter of his body. “No. Taking care of yourself is necessary if you want to help anyone else. Emma wouldn’t want you becoming a mess over something you can do nothing about. She wouldn’t doubt you care about her just because you took a shower and felt better.”
They were quiet for a while. Serenity didn’t really have anything to say, or at least not anything new. She was exhausted but still afraid to sleep. So instead of trying to fill the silence with empty words, she just tucked herself deeper into him and accepted the comfort and safety he afforded her.
The last thing she remembered before falling asleep was feeling his lips on her neck and his whispered words in her ear. “Rest now, love. I’ll weave you a dream.”
When she woke sometime later, the room was dark. She’d slept the day away. Dair was no longer laying next to her, and her door had been pulled almost completely closed. Serenity shifted in her bed, and it creaked. Only a minute later, Darla was knocking on her door and pushing it open. Her aunt smiled and walked quietly in.
As she watched Darla walk over to her bed and sit at the end of it, looking at her, it hit her. With so much going on around them, here, in their home, nothing had changed, and yet everything was different. Serenity still lived with her aunt and uncle. Her room was still the same. She could hear her Uncle Wayne in the living room telling a dirty joke, which meant either Dair was still there or Glory had come over. Even with all the familiarity, it felt as though her whole world had shifted on its axis.
“Would you like me to bring you anything?” Aunt Darla asked as she stared at Serenity. She imagined after hearing the news about Emma, Darla had been trying to keep as busy as possible. It wouldn’t surprise her if she’d cooked enough food for the entire town.
“No, Aunt Darla, I’m fine.” She shook her head. “Okay, I’m not fine, but—”
“You’re as good as you can be under the circumstances,” Darla offered.
Serenity nodded.
“It’s so good to have you home.”
Despite feeling like the world was spinning out of control and she was simply trying to hold on to keep from being thrown off, Serenity was glad to be home too. “Have you called Glory and talked to her about Emma?”
Darla’s face darkened, and her mouth grew taut across her face. “Not yet. I think it’s something we should tell her about in person”
She was right, Serenity thought. That wasn’t the kind of news you relayed on the phone. It was too personal.
“We’re going to the courthouse tomorrow to bug them some more. Emma may not want to leave yet, but there will come a time when she will and we want to have all our ducks in a row. I don’t care who I have to go through or take out. Emma Jean is going to come home to us.”
Serenity smiled at her aunt. “Have you decided to higher an assassin, just in case, or are you going to take on that role yourself?”
“Why on earth would I give someone else the pleasure of taking out evil? This is something we will have to pursue on our own. It’s not like anyone’s going to hand you anything, and if they are, they are expecting something in return,” said Darla. “Do you want to come and hang out? Or do you want to just stay in here? I don’t want to hover like a mama hen, but either way, please let me know if you need anything.”
“I will, and thank you,” she told her aunt. “Thank you for being there for me.”
Darla’s face softened and her eyes lit up. “You’re our family. We will always be there for you.”
Serenity stared out the window of her room. The sky was lit by a huge, full moon and a scattering of stars. There wasn’t much to look at other than pasture, trees, and every now and then a cow or goat. It was a peaceful scene. Serenity’s own emotions, however, were anything but tranquil. She hadn’t had a nightmare, which should have been encouraging, but instead she felt as if something was waiting and watching for the perfect moment to strike. She was full of turmoil, instead of the peace she would expect from a nightmare-free sleep. It felt like residual discord, left over from the terrible news, combined with the nightmares that had plagued her. Though she’d wake up, the nightmares would follow her, never truly dissipating, even with the light of day. She shivered and pulled the blankets up closer around her. Before she could continue to examine her emotions and thoughts more deeply, Dair came in the room.
“Nightmares?” he asked as if he could read her mind.
She shook her head.
“You looked troubled.”
“I don’t feel like the lack of a nightmare was a reprieve. I feel almost like I’m being taunted,” she said, finally understanding what it was she was feeling. “He’s waiting,” she said, as a shiver worked through her.
“Lucifer?” he asked.
“Yes. I can feel it.”
Dair walked over until he could sit next to her on the bed. “You can feel him?” he asked, sounding much too concerned for her liking.
“Not him necessarily. I just feel like everything he’s done so far has been child’s play. He’s got something more, something bigger he’s planning.”
Dair was looking at her, but his mind was somewhere else. Suddenly his face went from concentration to irritation.
“What’s wrong?”
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of
“I’ve got an assignment.”
“Then go, I’ll be fine,” she assured him.
He shook his head and practically growled. “I don’t want to leave you”
“Dair, I don’t…” she began, but he held up his hand to stop her.
“I don’t doubt your ability to take care of yourself. I need to see you, to be near you, to see with my own eyes that you’re okay. It has nothing to do with you or your abilities.”
Her mouth opened and formed an ‘o’ on her lips. He was frazzled, which wasn’t a description she would peg him with very often. “Okay,” she said, taking his hand in hers and pulling it to her, holding it against her chest. “I understand that. You know I want you here. I like being able to see you and know that you’re okay too. But I won’t interfere with your purpose.”
His swirling eyes met hers, and the anguish there was heart stopping.
“I have to go,” he said. The words practically choked him.
“It’s okay. I’ll be here, waiting for you.”
He laughed, but it sounded bitter. “You shouldn’t have to be waiting. I should be with you. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. This is—”
“Dair,” she said more harshly than she intended. “You can’t simply sit beside me all of the time. You have a job to do and it’s necessary. Who will do it if you will not? Go, do your thing, and then come back to me when you’re done. I feel a bit more secure now that I’m home and not just anyone can walk into my room. That makes it a bit easier to be without you. But please know, I want you with me—don’t think I don’t—but we don’t always get what we want, so suck it up.”
His smile was reluctant but eventually showed up. “You’re bossy.”