Dream So Dark by Quinn Loftis
She tapped her lip with her forefinger as she considered the question. “It’s being used to say a guy is hot or sexy, obviously, but wouldn’t it make more sense to say that guy’s hot enough that I’d have sex with him? I mean that totally makes sense.” She looked up at Dair and noticed that his brow seemed to have risen far enough that his eyebrows had disappeared into the hair that hung forward on his forehead.
“Is this something you’ve been thinking about for a while?” he asked her.
“No,” Serenity shook her head. “It’s not something I ponder over often or anything. I was just thinking about how attractive you looked, and then something Glory would say popped into my head, and then I realized how ludicrous it was.”
“You were thinking I looked attractive,” he paused, his plump lips turning up into a smoldering smirk. “Just now?”
She rolled her eyes and sat back. What she wanted to say was, ‘yes you’re hot as hades and I really think you should take your clothes off’. Instead, she said, “Really? After all that, the only thing you heard was that I think you’re attractive?”
“You think I’m sex-on-a-stick attractive.” He purred.
Serenity shook her head. “No, because sex on a stick is unrealistic.”
“So, you think I’m hot enough to want to have—”
“I didn’t say that either,” she interrupted quickly. “You’re drawing conclusions from my hypothesis.”
“Isn’t that what a hypothesis is for? To help one come to a conclusion?” Dair challenged as he took a step closer to her. He took another, and he was right next to her bed. He nudged her leg just a bit to encourage her to make room for him, and she immediately shifted. Dair sat down gingerly and then leaned across her, resting his right hand next to her waist so he was holding himself directly over her.
“I think you’re sex on a stick,” he murmured as he leaned closer.
She chuckled. “Again, that makes no sense.”
“Fine, then I think you’re hot enough to have—”
She pressed a finger over his lips halting his words. “You know where I stand on that topic.”
He nodded, though it wasn’t a question. When she removed her finger, he grinned and waggled his eyebrows at her. “When we’re man and wife, your attractiveness will lead to sex … with me, just to be clear.”
She tilted her head and a single brow rose. “Awkward wording, but I get the sentiment. Pretend I’m blushing.”
This brought a deep laugh from him. She nearly groaned from the sensuality of the sound.
“Why must I pretend you’re blushing?”
“Because if you’d put it in terms that were not so hard to work through, I would have blushed at the compliment. As it was, the way you worded it took me some time to decipher, so I didn’t really have the opportunity to feel embarrassed.”
“Why do I feel like this entire conversation is really more about distraction than anything else?” Dair asked her.
Serenity leaned her head back against the pillow, but she didn’t close her eyes, not even for a second. “Because this entire conversation is a distraction. For both of us.
“Why do you need to be distracted?” He frowned at her. He tilted her head up with his fingers so she had to look him in the eyes. Serenity knew the moment he felt what she was feeling. His eyes widened and then filled with guilt.
“Don’t,” she said quickly. “Don’t feel—”
Dair put a finger over her lips and shook his head. “I should have been here.”
Dair’s eyes narrowed on the woman who’d stolen his heart, and he felt that very same heart breaking. He was failing her. She needed him, and he was unable to be what she needed. He thought back to several of the demons he’d confronted, the first of them, the most powerful, had been the only one that had said anything somewhat helpful. The others had been a waste, and unfortunately, the last one he saw had decided he wanted to play ‘let’s see who can destroy each other.’ He’d battled that demon for two days, fighting off its attempts at planting false images into his mind. But that demon, and all the others, was too low in the chain of command to know anything. He needed to find an upper-level demon and, other than the principal of Emma’s school, he’d not been able to draw one out.
“I’m sorry,” Dair told her as he brushed her hair back from her face. He could feel her need of him and, though she was trying hard to hide it from him, the emotions were coming through loud and clear now that he was paying attention. “I’ve made you feel like you aren’t my top priority by leaving you alone. That was not my intention, but it doesn’t change that I’ve hurt you.”
A tear slid down her cheek and Dair clenched his jaw. Never in a million years did he want to be the one to cause her pain and yet that was exactly what he’d done.
“I just, I didn’t,” Serenity began, trying to hold in the tears that were building. “I didn’t know how badly I would miss you.”
Dair lean down and pressed his lips firmly to hers. He pulled back and stared into her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I missed you too, desperately. And I would have been back sooner but I got a little tied up.”
“I’m not trying to make things harder on you, Dair,” she began, but he cut her off with another kiss. This time he deepened it, parting her lips with his tongue and savoring the taste that was uniquely hers. Dair’s hand slipped into her hair, running his fingers through the soft strands until he was cupping the back of her head. He held her still as he tilted his own face just a bit more so he could get closer. He poured every ounce of love that he could into the kiss.
The emotions he held in tight control when he was with her slipped from his grasp and he felt the shadows wrap around them. The room grew dark as Dair let go of all his worries, fears, doubts and let himself simply feel. His lips left hers reluctantly and were only nullified because he continued to kiss her on her jaw, her neck, her shoulder where he pushed the hospital gown out of the way.
“Dair.” Serenity breathed out and he couldn’t tell if it was a plea to stop or to continue. He wasn’t ready to stop, not by a long shot, but one word from her and he would.
Her fingers had delved into his hair and she kept pulling him closer any time he pulled even the smallest bit away. Dair bit down gently on her neck. He remembered when she’d done the same to him in the parking lot of the vet clinic where she used to work. She gasped and pushed her body up, trying to get closer. When Dair felt as though he was approaching the point of no return, he forced himself to remove his lips from her body. He put just a little distance between them, but he didn’t stop touching her—he couldn’t. It was as if her touch was the only thing keeping him alive at the moment.”
“Please don’t ever be afraid to tell me what you’re feeling,” he said, hoping she could see how much he meant the words. “Princess, I’m not going anywhere. Nothing you could tell me will run me off. Do you understand?”
“What if I’m too clingy?” she asked, her face still flushed from their heated kiss.
“No such thing. I’d prefer if you remained attached to my side at all times. But I have a feeling you would tire of me.”
She shook her head. “Not possible.” She sighed and let out a frustrated groan. “I just never wanted to be that girl who couldn’t go a day without seeing her boyfriend. I didn’t want to lose myself in someone else.”
“Do you feel like you’ve lost yourself?”
“No, but I don’t like not seeing you every day.”
Dair’s lip turned up ever so slightly. “That’s called love, Serenity. Our hearts and souls long to be close. There’s no shame in that. I want to see you every day. Not seeing you these past days was killing me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.”
“Sounds like you’re describing me,” she said quietly.
“I will be here more. I’d like to say I won’t ever leave but, when I get an assignment, I have to go.”
“I don’t expect you to stop doing your job. It’s too important. And I still wan
Dair frowned. “The nightmares?”
She nodded.
It was then that he noticed the dark circles and bloodshot eyes. Her lips were drawn tightly across her beautiful face, and she was pale.
“Have you been drinking anything?”
She nodded. “Not a lot, but yes. And I’ve eaten,” she quickly added.
“Other than not wanting to sleep, and missing me …,” A smile tugged at his lips. He hated he’d hurt her, but he loved knowing she’d missed him as much as he’d missed her. “How are you feeling?”
Serenity shrugged as she looked up at the ceiling as though it were the most interesting thing since electricity was discovered. “I’m sore, but moving isn’t as painful as it was. I can get up and shower and move on my own.”
Dair was relieved to hear that at least that part of her life was moving in the right direction. The door behind him opened before he could ask her anymore questions, and he quickly stood and turned to face the visitor.
“Good evening. I’m Dr. Lester,” the man in the white coat said as he walked over to the sink and began to wash his hands. “I apologize about the time. I’m the only doctor on call on this floor so it’s been taking me a while to make my rounds.” He dried his hands and then picked up the file that Dair hadn’t even noticed Dr. Lester had been carrying.
Dair held out his hand to the man. “I’m Dair. I’m Serenity’s boyfriend.” They shook hands. The instant he touched the man’s hand, Dair felt something was off. He narrowed his eyes on the doctor and tried to get a fix on what it was. There wasn’t a demon present, and he couldn’t necessarily feel evil. He honestly didn’t know what was going on.
“Nice to meet you,” Dr. Lester said and then turned to look at Serenity. “How are you feeling this evening?” he asked her. “You’re looking quite lovely for a woman who’s been through the ordeal you have.”
Dair bristled at Dr. Lester’s words and the flirtatious smile that accompanied them. Did the fool not just hear him say that he was Serenity’s boyfriend? Dair sat down next to Serenity, forcing the doctor to go to the other side of the bed.
“Other than being tired, I feel okay,” she answered.
“Yes, it’s hard to get rest in a hospital. Too much noise and people constantly in and out of your room, poking and prodding.” He said this as he began his own poking and prodding.
Dair knew the man was a doctor, but it still bothered him to watch him touch Serenity. Especially since he hadn’t even bothered to ask her permission or explain what he was doing.
As soon as Dr. Lester’s hands began lifting her gown, Dair growled. It was a primal animal sound. Serenity shot him a look, but he ignored it. His vision had narrowed to one thing—the man who was touching his mate. Married or not, Serenity had been given to him with the Creator’s blessing. No mere human was going to attempt to take her away, at least not and live to tell about it. Dr. Lester pulled the sheet up to cover Serenity below the hips as he pushed the gown up further. Before it could go all the way up to just below her chest, Dair’s hand shot out and grabbed the doctor’s wrist. “That is far enough.” His words were tight as they slipped through pinched lips.
Dr. Lester raised a brow at him. “I must examine her, but I will not be inappropriate, sir.” His own words were just as tense as Dair’s.
“Dair,” Serenity said, pulling his attention away from the man currently pushing on her stomach. “Look at me, please.”
Dair looked at her, but only because he could hear the plea in her voice and he couldn’t deny her anything when she sounded like that.
“Tell me where you’ve been. You said you were tied up?”
He clenched his jaw tightly together. She was trying to distract him. How was he supposed to tell her that he’d been battling a demon in order to get back to her, especially with this man in the room? He didn’t want to worry her, but he wasn’t going to lie to her either.
“You haven’t been here staying with her while she’s been injured?” Dr. Lester asked, the accusation in his voice not going unnoticed. “She really is going to need a lot of help. I would think as her boyfriend you would figure out a way to be here with her during this time.”
“Pardon me, Dr. Lester, but I am not really concerned with what you think. My concern only lies with the health and wellbeing of my mate.” His anger kept him from censoring his words. He knew that humans did not refer to their partners as mates, but it was what his kind called them and, in that moment, he was too focused on not strangling the man.
“Dr. Lester, I don’t think my boyfriend’s whereabouts are any of your business.”
The doctor’s eyes softened as he looked up at her. His hands paused and then patted her stomach gently. “You’re right. Forgive me.” He finally pulled her gown back down and then listened to her heart and checked her pulse and pupil reactions. When the good doctor was satisfied, he stood and glanced at Dair before looking back at Serenity. “Everything looks good so far. I still want you to stay a few more days. I’d rather err on the side of caution then send you home and have something go wrong. And since I’ll be the attending physician for the next few days, I will have the privilege of caring for you.”
Serenity smiled up at him. “Thank you.” Dair knew she wasn’t flirting with Dr. Lester, but he still didn’t want her smiling at him.
The doctor reached down as if he was going to touch her hair or pet her head. Hell. No. Dair reached out and grabbed the doctor’s hand and began shaking it. “Thank you for taking care of my love. It is appreciated. If you’re done, I do believe she needs to rest.”
“Of course,” Dr. Lester said and glanced back at Serenity as Dair pushed him toward the door. “I’ll be back to check on you later.”
“I’ll be here all night,” Dair said, his eyes flashing a warning at the man. He knew they were pitch black and swirling with the rage he was feeling. “If she needs anything, I will let you know. I would ask that you only check on her if it is absolutely necessary. She is tired and needs a good night’s sleep.”
“I will make my regular rounds later this evening, Mr…” He prompted. Dair thought it was cute that the human should try to learn his full name. Not that he had a last name.
“You can call me Serenity’s soon to be fiancé’. That should be sufficient.” He pushed Dr. Lester through the door and gave him one last look warning him away before shutting the door in his shocked face.
“Dair, are you okay?” Serenity huffed. “You seemed a little out of control.”
Dair turned back to her slowly, trying to regain control of his emotions. He wasn’t used to feeling rage, jealousy, anxiety, love, and need all at the same time. He felt very much like snapping at her, but he held his tongue. How could she be so obtuse at the man’s blatant flirting. “No. I wasn’t out of control, but I’m not okay either. It was entirely appropriate and altogether necessary I make Dr. Lester understand my place in your life and what his place is not. The man was hitting on you right in front of me. He insulted me. He touched you in a manner that was not necessary. He didn’t need to push your gown up that far to examine you. He was, how do you humans put it, copping a feel.” He spat. Okay, so apparently his emotions were not under control.
“I think you’re blowing it a bit out of proportion,” Serenity said. “He was just being nice. He had good bedside manner.”
“I don’t want him at your bedside with any manner. I don’t trust him.”
“What? Why? Was he … I mean … did he have a demon on him or in him or whatever?”
The worried look in her eyes made him feel horrible that he was scaring her, but she needed to remember that she couldn’t trust anyone, at least no one other than him and her immediate family. Every human was capable of falling prey to the enemy’s influences. And even if the man had nothing to do with the spiritual battle that seemed to be attacking all of them, he wa
“Off how?” she asked.
Dair shook his head. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just didn’t like the feeling I was getting from him. Please trust me. I’m not just being a jealous boyfriend. Supernatural things can be hard to describe.”
“Don’t you mean soon to be fiancé?” she asked a tad dryly.
He rubbed the back of his neck and dropped his eyes. “Okay, so maybe that was a little too far. But he didn’t seem to think being my girlfriend was enough reason to consider you off limits. I thought maybe if I made it clear just how serious we were that he’d back off.” Dair had a feeling that all he’d done was issue a challenge to the doctor. He didn’t seem like the type to walk away when it was smart. No, he seemed like the kind of fool who would stand his ground when he didn’t have a leg to stand on.
“Are you really concerned about some harmless flirting? Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course, I trust you. I don’t, however, trust that doctor.” He pointed at the door he’d just pushed the doctor out of. “He acted much too comfortable with you, Serenity. No man—doctor or otherwise—touches the hair of a woman who is taken. Hair is sensual. It’s one of those things that is off-limits to others.”
Serenity suddenly looked amused and annoyed at the same time. For some reason, Dair felt this wasn’t a good thing.
“Oh? And what other things are off-limits?”
“Petting of any kind, hair or elsewhere,” he answered as he started ticking them off on his hand. “Front hugs.”
“Front hugs?” she interrupted with a laugh.
“Yes, front hugs.”
“Why?”
Was she really going to make him spell it out for her? She simply stared at him, waiting. So yes, she was going to make him spell it out. He took a deep breath and plowed on forward. “Because when a man hugs a woman from the front instead of the side, her chest is pressed against his, which means he feels, her, well, he feels, I mean against his chest are her—”