Endless by Jessica Shirvington
He gritted his teeth. ‘Do it.’
Screw it.
‘Close your eyes,’ I ordered.
Surprisingly, he did. Without giving it another moment’s thought, I leaned down and pressed my lips to his.
Lincoln’s body flinched at the contact, but it only took a couple of seconds for the shock to end and then he was kissing me back. All the emotion that had been building as I’d been healing him released. He made a sound low in his throat and I took that as my cue.
I thrust my hand down hard and fast. His shoulder popped right back into place. His body jerked with the pain and I released my power back into him, my strength healing him quickly.
Lincoln’s lips stayed on mine even as he tensed in pain. In a matter of seconds his kiss had changed from one filled with surprise, to pain, to relief and then … to something else altogether more urgent.
Yes, my plan had a significant flaw, because just as desperately as he kissed me, I was kissing him back. Both of his arms, now fully operational, pulled me down to him and in a particularly stealthy move he somehow flipped us so that I was lying under him.
My hands found their way up his bare back. Lincoln made another sound and something within pushed me forward, demanding that I have all of him. When his hands started to push my top up, I felt myself repositioning and whipping it over my head.
Think, Vi. Think.
Can’t.
Lincoln’s lips were at my throat, his hands travelling up my sides. Everything about him was surrounding me. His warmth reminded me of summer days and seeped into me, igniting my desire. This was exactly where I wanted to be, exactly what I wanted to be doing. Mind, body, soul. I ran my fingers through his hair and he did the same to me.
But his body began to tremble.
No.
I knew what he was doing.
I could feel his power, the distinctive honey flavour beginning to flare while the sun sensation faded. He was putting up the walls between us again.
But my walls weren’t up. Mine were all the way down and my soul was hungry, agonisingly so.
‘No,’ I heard myself say. ‘No!’ I was growling. I didn’t care.
I pulled his face up to mine and I kissed him. He kissed me back and his power dwindled, but he continued to tremble, continued to try to put walls between us that did not belong there.
His lips moved down along my jaw, but they were slowing now. His hands stroked my hair, gently instead of frantically.
‘Don’t stop,’ I almost yelled, overwhelmed by a sense of panic at losing him. ‘I need you. I … No! You can’t stop!’
I arched my body towards him, trying to break down the walls, but he didn’t respond, he just kept kissing me up to my ear and started to talk soothingly.
‘You’ve used up all your strength. Your defences are down. Listen to me, Vi. Come back to me. Remember all the reasons.’
I ran my hands up and down his back, feeling every groove that was meant for me.
We are supposed to be together, damn it!
Our souls were matched and not only that, they’d tasted one another and would settle for nothing else.
My mind and body were on fire with my need for him. Everything that made me who I was, was crying out to be with him.
He wrapped his arms around me and moved to the side of me, pulling me close. I couldn’t let go and he didn’t make me. I pressed kisses into his neck, his shoulder, I kissed his lips and he let me, all the while talking to me softly and building the wall between us. Eventually, my soul’s demands overcame me. Tears poured from my eyes as I started to pound my fists against his chest, small screams falling from my lips.
He took it, let me hit him, let me scream. He just pulled me back to him, waiting patiently for me to remember. Letting me know he was there for me, letting me know it was okay.
Finally, my screaming and the hitting stopped, replaced by exhaustion and a feeling of loss. I fell weakly into his embrace, tears pouring down my cheeks as he kept holding me.
‘I’m here. I feel it too. It’s … crushing and it hurts. You’re not alone. You’re not alone.’
But I was alone. That was the whole problem. For as long as we were apart, I would always be alone. I buried my head into his chest. ‘I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough.’
He stroked my hair. ‘You’re the strongest person I know. You’d just gone up against the head of the Academy and pulled on a tonne of power to heal me, your defences were down. If anyone should be apologising, it’s me. I should have stopped sooner.’
‘I just wanted to distract you.’
He grinned. ‘You did. I’ve never been so distracted in my life.’
The enormity of what I had just risked hit me.
Guilt didn’t begin to cover it.
If Lincoln and I were together, if we let our souls join completely … If one of us died the other one’s soul would shatter … I wasn’t stupid. I knew just as well as everyone else, a war was on the horizon. And it didn’t take a genius to work out that with Phoenix’s physical hold over me it was more than likely that I wasn’t going to be walking away from the inevitable battle.
I couldn’t believe I’d been so selfish, so willing to just take Lincoln as mine when I was so close to my end. And there he was, still talking to me, soothing me.
Disgusted with myself, I started to pull away from him.
‘Hey,’ he said, tugging me back to him.
I shook my head, too embarrassed for words.
‘Don’t,’ he said. ‘Don’t blame yourself. Hell, Vi, I declared my love for you in front of everyone on a volcano for Christ’s sake! When Phoenix had you prisoner in Santorini I turned that island upside down looking for you and almost lost my mind in the process. We have to help each other. Staying away didn’t work. We’re going to get through this together.’
I half laughed. ‘We’re going to work out how to not be together, together?’
He chuckled back. ‘Yep. And I made a promise to you, in case you’ve forgotten, and I plan on fulfilling it one day.’
I swallowed, remembering that night after we’d come back from Santorini, when I’d asked him to promise that one day we would find a way to be together.
He pulled me to him.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked, worried I might be hurting him.
‘A hundred per cent,’ he said. ‘You’ve got that healing thing down pat.’
At least I could do one thing right. Even if it did come with sex-maniac side effects.
As if reading my mind, he added playfully, ‘And anyway, it’s not as if I’m complaining. I haven’t seen so much action in quite a while.’
My breath caught. I didn’t know what to say. I mean, I’d presumed since we’d discovered the soulmate thing that he hadn’t been with anyone else. But that didn’t mean I hadn’t wondered about other girls before. I wasn’t a fool. Lincoln may have only looked young, but he was really twenty-six. I knew he’d had other relationships. I’d just never dared to ask about them.
Sensing my hesitance he brushed a hand through my hair. ‘Wrong thing to say?’ he asked.
‘No. I just … I don’t really know who you’ve … I mean, I don’t know if there has ever been anyone …’
‘Oh,’ he said, catching on. He was silent for a while, deciding what to say. ‘I don’t want to make things harder for us, for you,’ he said. When I remained silent, he sighed. ‘I’m not … I’ve had a couple of girlfriends.’
‘I didn’t think you hadn’t,’ I answered honestly.
He nodded, his chin resting on the top of my head. ‘I guess I’ve only had one relationship that has lasted more than a couple of months and that was when I was nineteen. I went out with a girl for two years.’
Wow. Two years was the equivalent of living together, according to Steph’s timeline.
‘What happened?’
‘We realised we were better friends than anything else. Even then, it felt like something else was pulling me.’ He
I chewed on the inside of my cheek, trying to bottom-line what he was saying. ‘So …’
His tone held a smile. ‘So,’ he mimicked.
‘So, you haven’t been with anyone since …?’
‘Since you came into my life.’
Any way you put it – that is damn impressive.
Guilt washed over me. I wished I could say the same thing.
I looked around his room properly for the first time since arriving. ‘Do you realise your room is three times bigger than any of the other ones I saw on my way here?’
He shrugged. ‘Maybe it’s Josephine’s way of apologising for unleashing Seth.’
‘Max said no one has ever landed a hit on Seth before and lived,’ I said.
‘They have now.’
I smiled. ‘That’s what I said.’
‘Did Drenson get anything from you?’
‘Not much.’
‘That’s going to piss them off.’
‘Yeah, well, the feeling’s mutual.’
We lay in silence for a few minutes. I realised we were both lying there shirtless and I didn’t even feel self-conscious. That alone spoke volumes. But if someone walked in it wouldn’t be good.
‘I should go,’ I said. ‘Griffin will be waiting to hear how you are.’
But he didn’t let me go.
‘Griffin will be fine for an hour. Rest,’ he ordered, and, there in his arms, with his heart beating strong and healthy against my ear, I couldn’t think of anything I would rather do.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
‘The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.’
Oscar Wilde
I was in Hades. I couldn’t hear the music, but I could feel it vibrating up from the dance floor and into my body.
I spun. Phoenix was behind me. He looked … older. No, grave. And somehow more beautiful for it. He wore black pants and a midnight-blue fitted shirt. He rolled up his right sleeve to match his left. Such a simple action and yet it commanded my full attention. As if each roll of his sleeve signified something greater and the weight of his cast-away gaze meant so much more. And yet, there was also the danger. The ever-present danger that lurked in the shadows and followed him.
‘What do you want, Phoenix?’ I asked, crossing my arms.
He tilted his head, glancing up at me, and began to speak. But I couldn’t hear him.
I noticed then that there was something between us that looked like a wall of liquid. It went all the way around me. I didn’t know if it was trapping me, or keeping him out. I also didn’t know whose it was – mine, his or someone else’s.
He realised what was happening and studied what was separating us. He sighed. There were circles under his eyes and I felt an unbidden pang of concern for him, but that was enough to pull me back to my senses. I shook my head, remembering my run-in with Onyx.
I needed to stay in control.
Phoenix’s hand reached up to press against the veil of liquid and his brow furrowed, lost for what to do next.
I squared my shoulders. ‘Leave, Phoenix,’ I said.
He nodded sadly. He could obviously hear me.
I started to back away from him and from the dream. The vision began to unravel.
‘Don’t go!’ he said clearly so I could read his lips.
I couldn’t let him get into my mind. Couldn’t let him manipulate me the way he always did.
I willed the dream away.
When I woke up, Lincoln was already dressed. He’d obviously been out and retrieved his things. He’d covered me with a blanket – all the way to my neck – and was sitting on the edge of the bed watching me. Phoenix’s dream visit drifted through my mind. I wasn’t sure if the dividing wall had come from me but I was sure I now had the ability to remove myself from any shared dreamscapes in the future. That was a good thing.
So why is my gut twisting?
Lincoln cleared his throat. I blinked, and accepted the bottle of water he passed to me.
‘Bed-head?’ I asked, finger combing my hair.
‘Extreme,’ he said, smirking.
‘Any visitors?’ I asked, a little more apprehensively.
Besides the one in my dreams.
‘No. I popped out to see Griff. He knows you’re resting and has been keeping the mobs away.’
‘How are you?’ I continued, deciding not to burden Lincoln with my dream update. It would only worry him.
‘I feel fantastic – actually, I feel a little guilty about that,’ he said looking down.
I stretched and pointed to my top, now hanging from the end of the bed. As Lincoln reached over to pass it to me I said, ‘Don’t. I feel good, too. When we heal like that together we are so much more powerful. It always seems to recharge us both. It’s like having a jumpstart.’
He nodded, but didn’t want to linger on the subject. ‘Do you feel up to moving about?’
‘Sure. Why?’
He stood up, politely turning his back to me as I sat up. ‘First, we get food and I show you to your room. Zoe has organised for all of your stuff to go there.’
‘And second?’ I asked, shrugging my top on and continuing to finger comb my hair.
‘Josephine has requested to see you in her office.’
Lucky me.
‘Do they have any more intel on Lilith or Phoenix?’
He hitched a shoulder. ‘I’m hoping that’s what we’re about to find out.’
My room wasn’t nearly as impressive as Lincoln’s. And it had to fit both Zoe and me.
‘No fair,’ I mumbled to Zoe, as I unloaded some clothes on the bed, looking for a suitable change after my cramped shower in our tiny cubicle of a bathroom.
‘Yeah, well, wait till you see the size of the single rooms. At least we can lie straight in our beds,’ she responded, pulling posters out of her bottom drawer and proceeding to put them up on the bare greyish wall above her bed.
‘Who did you used to share this room with?’ I asked, deciding on a pair of black jeans and a light red sweater.
‘A girl called Eleanor. She graduated a few months back. She and her partner are now in Germany, I think,’ she said with a shrug. ‘We were never close.’
‘How come Lincoln got such a flashy room?’
Zoe kicked her bags under her bed and dusted off her hands. ‘Don’t know. He was given one of the best suites. Apart from Grigori leaders, no one gets those rooms. Someone obviously thinks he’s very important.’
That was interesting.
Zoe kept her gaze on me and finally rolled her eyes. ‘Are you going to tell me what happened? Everyone’s talking about it.’
I sighed. I wasn’t up to reliving my introduction to the Assembly just yet. ‘Later?’ I asked.
She paused and I thought she’d argue, but instead she just nodded, acceptingly. ‘Fine. But I’ll want details.’
After we’d finished settling into our room, Zoe walked me through the halls and over the skywalk, back into the glass building apparently known as ‘Command’. It was where all the training and official Assembly rooms were located. Zoe explained there were five buildings in total. Building B, where our rooms were, and another building, C, were both dedicated to accommodation. Building A was fitted with gyms and recreational areas along with a massive food hall and another large cafeteria. Building D was for Academy classes and was where all new Grigori were restricted to when they first started their training.
I guess I should have been grateful Josephine didn’t try to confine me to Building D.
Now that I had crossed over the skywalk a couple of ti
‘It’s amazing,’ I said as we walked across it.
Zoe nodded. ‘Always a crowd pleaser.’
I bounced up and down on the invisible floor. It was completely solid. ‘What is it?’
‘Reinforced glass,’ she said, pulling out a bag of M&M’s. She seriously must have had some kind of never-ending supply. ‘Valerie and Hakon just keep them under a very strong glamour.’
I was mesmerised by it. ‘Don’t birds fly into it? Or planes?’ If no one could see them, then surely they were some kind of hazard.
She shook her head. ‘We’re in a strict no-fly zone and the glamour does something that repels birds.’
I still couldn’t comprehend it. ‘What about when it rains – don’t people see the water splashing off them?’
‘Nope. If you’re looking up from the street the glamour just mirrors the image from above the walkway so even when it rains all they see is the rain falling from above the tunnel.’
‘Wow.’
‘Yep,’ she said, shaking out some M&M’s into her hand and popping a few in her mouth.
She stopped at the beginning of a long corridor and pointed to the double doors at the end. ‘Josephine’s office is behind those doors. I gotta go meet up with Spence. He had his meeting. Valerie has made him start back in training sessions from tonight. I promised to be his sparring partner.’ She popped another few M&M’s. ‘I’m gonna kick his ass.’ She waggled her eyebrows.
Poor Spence. Zoe fought like a cat – a particularly well-clawed cat. ‘See ya,’ I said, as she left me to take the rest of the hallway on my own.
Josephine’s doors were slightly ajar and I could hear her voice from inside. I knew she must have been talking to Lincoln, who had been called in to see her just before me.
‘You’ve always had great potential, Lincoln. I’ve had high hopes for you. I must say, after watching your display this morning against Seth, you have only confirmed my suspicions that you may one day be eligible for a seat on the Assembly. That would make you the first Grigori made by a Power to be elevated so high.’
‘A position on the Assembly would be a huge honour,’ Lincoln said.