Falling Hard (Colorado High Country #3) by Pamela Clare
But Ellie wasn’t laughing. “Today was awful.”
“Oh, come on. It’s not all that bad.”
But Claire didn’t know.
Ellie told her about the accident at the ski area and how Jesse had come within a couple of seconds of being killed. “If he hadn’t reacted so quickly, he would have been blown to bits.”
“God, Ellie, how scary.”
Ellie had followed the kids into their playroom. She leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, her throat going tight, panic rising inside her, words she’d held back all afternoon spilling out of her. “I can’t do this, Claire. I can’t. I can’t be with another man who goes and gets himself killed.”
“That’s not going to happen this time.” Claire sounded so certain.
“It almost happened today.”
“I know.”
While the kids played, Ellie told Claire about last night, finding creative ways to talk about S-E-X. Then she told Claire how afraid she’d been when she’d heard there’d been an explosion at the ski area. Claire listened and sympathized, talking Ellie down the way she’d done in the weeks and months after Dan had died.
By the time the conversation drew to a close almost an hour later, Ellie was laughing again. “You should have seen Rose’s face.”
Claire laughed, too. “I wish I had.”
When she ended the call, Ellie’s panic was gone. She read the kids a bedtime story, tucked them in, and went to pour herself a glass of wine.
She’d just pulled the cork out of the bottle when a knock came at her back door, making her jump.
Jesse.
He stood on her back deck with wet hair, his face clean shaven, the gash on his forehead hidden behind a bandage.
She opened the door. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He stomped the snow off his boots and stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for putting you through that today.”
“You shouldn’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault.” Then she stepped into his embrace. “Oh, Jesse.”
Chapter 13
Jesse held her, all the stresses of the day seeming to melt away. She felt fragile in his arms, sweet and soft. “Are you okay?”
“Am I okay?” She gave a little laugh and leaned back to look up at him, a vulnerability in her eyes that tugged at him. “You’re the one who almost got blown up and had to have stitches.”
He took her face between his hands. “I know that what happened today scared you. You don’t have to pretend with me.”
Her gaze searched his, a pleading look in her eyes. “Why do you have to work with explosives? Why can’t someone else do that job?”
“I’m good at it, Ellie. I’m the reason two people didn’t die today.”
“I have no right to question your life. I’m sorry.” She drew away from him, clearly still unhappy. “Would you like a glass of wine?”
He let it go. “After today, I’ll take some of that scotch you mentioned.”
She opened a cupboard and was about to scoot a stepping stool over so that she could reach the amber bottle.
“I’ve got it.” Jesse reached over the top of her head, took the bottle down from the shelf, and read the label. “Old Pulteney twenty-one. You know your scotch. This stuff is expensive. Are you sure you want me drinking it?”
“That’s what it’s for.” She handed him a tumbler, a sad smile on her lips. “It was Dan’s favorite. I hope you enjoy it.”
Jesse was touched that she would share it with him. He poured out the equivalent of two shots, capped the bottle, and put it back in the cupboard. He took a sip, the taste exploding across his tongue. “Mmm. Damn.”
They sat together on the sofa, Ellie leaning back against his chest.
“It can’t have been fun to take a shower,” she said.
It hadn’t been. The water had stung every nick and cut, but it had felt good to wash away the blood and reek of pentolite.
“I’ve dealt with worse.” He kissed her hair, trailing his fingers up and down her arm. “How was the rest of your day?”
She gave a little moan. “You don’t want to know.”
“I think I do.”
By the time she finished telling him what had happened at Food Mart, he was clenching his jaw and holding his breath in the effort not to laugh.
“Everyone in the store heard me. I wanted to die. You’re laughing.”
“No.” He coughed, choked. “Does this mean I can expect your dad to show up at my door with a shotgun?”
She craned her head to look up at him. “How could he know you’re the one?”
He smoothed the hair from her cheek. “Half the town saw us together at Knockers, remember?”
“Oh, right. God, I’m sorry.”
“Hey, don’t apologize. People can gossip all they want. Actually, I find the whole thing kind of sweet.”
“Sweet?”
“Yeah.” He nuzzled her ear, nipped her earlobe, and felt her shiver. “It means you were thinking of me today, just like I was thinking of you.”
She smiled at this, her eyes drifting shut. “I guess it does.”
He found the side of her throat, licked that sensitive spot just below her ear, then kissed her, his lips brushing over the flutter of her pulse.
She let her head fall to the side, the wine glass tilting in her hand.
He took the glass from her and set it down on the coffee table. “Come.”
He helped her to her feet, then scooped her into his arms.
She gave a little gasp and grabbed onto him, her arms sliding behind his neck.
He kissed her forehead. “I’m not going to drop you.”
He carried her down the dark hallway to her bedroom, then lowered her to her bed and stretched himself out above her.
Everything else faded from his world as he kissed her, nothing in his mind but Ellie—her scent, her taste, the softness of her skin. He peeled off her T-shirt, unhooked her bra, then sat up and tore off his own shirt. For a moment, he stayed upright like that, letting her play, watching while the feel of his chest and abdomen turned her on.
It turned him on, too, the arousal on her face making him rock hard, his resolve not to rush this time fading fast. He reached down and cupped both of her breasts, teasing her nipples with his thumbs, watching as they puckered at his touch. Unable to stop himself, he caught her wrists in his hands, stretched her arms above her head, and lowered his mouth to taste her.
He teased first one tight crest and then the other, flicking them with his tongue, tugging on them with his lips, sucking them into his mouth.
She writhed beneath him, her eyes shut, little moans rolling from her throat with each exhalation.
He released her wrists and kissed his way down her belly to the waistband of her jeans. “These have to go.”
“Yes.” She wriggled out of her jeans and then her panties.
He yanked them over her ankles, tossed them aside, then made short work of his jeans and boxer briefs. Naked now, he let himself feast on the sight of her.
She tensed, her hands moving to shield her lower belly. She’d done that last night, too. He’d noticed but hadn’t said anything.
He stretched out beside her again, slipped his hands beneath hers, tracing her C-section scar with his fingers. “You’re beautiful, Ellie. You don’t have to hide anything from me.”
And then it struck him.
No other man had seen her scar and her stretch marks, not even the man who had caused them.
The thought brought a hitch to his chest.
“Your scar is a warrior mark.” He repositioned himself, kissed his way along the thin silver scar, wanting her to know that it didn’t bother him. What kind of shitheel could be bothered by something like that? “I have scars, too.”
And then he couldn’t resist, his hand finding its way between her thighs, exploring the hidden treasures there. But it wasn’t enough. Drawn by her scent, he knelt at the side of the bed,
Her fingers curled in his hair. “Oh, fuck, yes.”
She had a dirty mouth when she was turned on, but Jesse liked it. He loved seeing her on the edge and knowing he was the one who’d put her there.
He gave her no quarter, taking what he wanted, her scent filling his head. He suckled her clit, penetrated her with his fingers, her cries growing more frantic, her breathing ragged, her thighs trembling.
“Jesse!” She arched off the bed, pleasure shuddering through her as she came, her pussy contracting around his fingers.
He waited for her climax to pass, watched the tension leave her. Then he kissed his way up her body and straddled her. “So where are these condoms?”
Eyes still closed, she pointed toward her nightstand.
He found the box—a variety pack. He read them off. “Extra Lubricated. Well, we don’t need that. Ribbed. Deep Grooved. Chocolate. Spiral Pleasures. Do you have a preference?”
She opened her eyes, took hold of his cock, stroked him. “Fuck me.”
“Yeah.” Jesus. He grabbed one of the ribbed ones, tore it open.
She took it from him and rolled it onto his length, then got onto her hands and knees, looking back at him over her shoulder, her bare, beautiful ass wiggling back and forth in blatant invitation.
Holy fuck.
He grasped her hips with his hands and nudged himself inside her, the two of them moaning in unison. “God, Ellie.”
Determined to last, he started slow, pacing himself, moving in and out of her in an easy rhythm. She felt so incredibly good, and it just kept getting better, her slick pussy gripping him like a fist. He reached out, brushed the hair away from her face so he could watch the effect he had on her. Her eyes were shut, her lips parted, her breath coming in erotic little moans.
He bent down and pressed kisses to her spine, reaching around with one hand to stroke her swollen clit. He couldn’t remember ever wanting a woman like this. He was burning for her, burning up inside her, orgasm building at the base of his spine.
He was pounding into her now, her gorgeous ass bouncing with every thrust, her hands fisting in the sheets.
“Ooh… Fuck, yeah… Jesse… God.” Her breath broke on a cry, and she arched, her inner muscles clenching around him as she came.
He kept up the pace until her climax had passed. Then he let himself go, grasping her hips and driving himself into her until bliss carried him away.
Ellie lay in the darkness of her bedroom, her head resting on Jesse’s chest, her body languid. “What have you done to me?”
He kissed her hair. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”
Ellie was deep in a dreamless sleep when the sound of crying woke her.
It woke Jesse, too. “What’s wrong?”
“She probably just had a bad dream.” Ellie had just started to get out of bed when Daisy ran into the bedroom and scrambled up into the bed.
“Mama!”
Jesse sat up, clutching the sheet to his chest, looking like he might bolt.
Ellie fought not to laugh. “Don’t worry. She’s too little to understand anything.”
Daisy crawled into the nonexistent space between Ellie and Jesse, tears on her cheeks, apparently unfazed by his presence in the bed.
“Hey, sweetie, what’s wrong? Are you scared?”
Daisy nodded but didn’t say, either because she wasn’t sure or because she didn’t have the words to explain.
“It’s okay, baby girl. You’re okay.” Ellie held her daughter, glancing over at Jesse, who had turned onto his side, one hand still holding fast to the sheet.
Daisy turned her head to look at him. “Jesse seepy?”
Jesse’s lips quirked in an amused grin. “I’m sleepy, too.”
“Come here, honey. Just close your eyes.” Ellie cradled Daisy’s head against her bare breast, kissed her forehead and hummed her favorite lullaby. “As I was a-walking for my recreation/A-down by the gardens I silently strayed.”
Ellie glanced over to find Jesse watching her, a mix of gentleness and intensity in his gaze. He reached out, lifted a strand of hair from her cheek, the tenderness of the gesture reminding her of the way he’d kissed her C-section scar and stretch marks. She’d gotten tears in her eyes then, tears she’d hidden from him, afraid she’d spoil the mood.
“The blackbirds and thrushes sang in the green bushes/The wood doves and larks seemed to mourn for the maid.”
Daisy’s eyes were closed, her little face relaxed.
Ellie hummed for a minute or two longer, then stopped. She sat, scooped Daisy into her arms, and carried her back to her bed, staying with her for a few minutes just to make sure she was truly asleep.
She walked back to the bedroom to find Jesse already wearing his jeans and pulling his T-shirt over his head.
She felt a stab of disappointment. “You’re leaving?”
“It’s almost four.”
“Already?” How could that be?
“The night flies when you’re having fun.”
“I’m sorry she woke you. I hope that didn’t make you too uncomfortable.” He’d probably never sleep over again.
“Hey, don’t apologize.” He closed the space between them, drew Ellie into his arms. “It just took me by surprise. I’ve never been in bed with a naked woman and her toddler before.”
When he put it like that…
“So that means Daisy hasn’t scared you away, that I’ll see you again?”
His hands slid down her back to pat her bare ass. “Damned straight.”
She slipped into her bathrobe and followed him down the hallway, smiling to herself when he stopped to glance in Daniel’s and Daisy’s bedrooms.
“They’re so … little and helpless,” he whispered.
They turned and walked toward the kitchen together.
“If you think they’re little and helpless now, you should have seen them when they were born. They were just over six pounds each.”
He shook his head as if this were crazy. Then he stopped and turned toward her, reaching down to rest one big hand on her lower abdomen. “That means you were carrying more than twelve pounds of baby in there.”
There was an intimacy to this, to sharing memories of her pregnancy with him. “It got pretty uncomfortable toward the end. I looked like an elephant.”
“I bet you had a cute waddle.”
They finished the short walk to the back door, Ellie watching while he put on his boots and slipped into his parka. “I wish you didn’t have to go. I wish neither of us had to work today. I can’t believe they expect you to work after what happened yesterday.”
“Ben was rattled and needs the day off. They can’t afford to be down two patrollers on a Sunday. But, hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you pack up the kids and come up to Cimarron Ranch with me on Wednesday?”
“The Cimarron?”
“You’ve heard of it?”
“Who hasn’t?” The West family were among the biggest landowners in the state and ran cattle on their ranch. They also bred champion quarter horses. “What are you doing up there?”
“Nate West and I are partnering for the skijoring race.”
Of course, they were, because if there was some crazy way to get killed, Jesse was in. “I don’t want to watch you break your neck.”
“I’m not going to break my neck. I promise. I bet the kids would like to see the horses.”
“I’m sure they would.” She took hold of the front of his parka. “Please be careful up on the mountain today.”
“You know it.” He slipped an arm around her, kissed her.
Then she remembered.
“I have something for you.” She pulled away, retrieved her extra key from the drawer, and held it out for him. “In case you need it.”
He took it from her then tucked it in his pocket. “Thanks. See you tonight.”
Then he turned, opened the back door, and disappeared into the darkness.
“Let me get this straight. You want me and Cedar to come sleep at your house Tuesday night so that you can stay over at Jesse’s place?”
Keeping her voice down, Ellie told Claire how Daisy had come into the bedroom, waking them up and making Jesse uncomfortable. “I just want an uninterrupted night with him. You can come over at nine after the kids are asleep, watch TV, have some wine, and then just sleep in my bed. I’ll be only a few minutes away if you need anything. I’ll come back early in the morning so you can get home and get to work.”
She’d been assigned to the ER again today. The only patient was down the hallway getting X-rays for a possible wrist fracture, giving her just a few free minutes.
“You do remember that I’m on crutches, right?”
“Yes, but you won’t have to chase the twins around.” Ellie lowered her voice to a whisper. “You can be on crutches at your house, or you can be on crutches at my house so that I can get laid.”
“But you’ve gotten laid. You’ve gotten laid more than I have this week.”
“Please, Claire.”
“Let me talk to Cedar. It’s a long commute down the canyon. I don’t want to make problems for him at work. And you’ll have to put clean sheets on your bed. I’m not sleeping in your sex funk.”
“Of course I’ll put clean sheets on the bed.” Ellie glanced up from the nurse’s station and saw Pauline walking her way. “I really appreciate your volunteering to help unload the supplies. It would be a big job without you.”
“What? Ellie—”
“Thanks for calling.” Ellie ended the call. “Hey, Pauline.”
“I saw the supplies for the first-aid tent have arrived.”
“I hope to get time this afternoon to do an inventory.” She wanted to make sure everything she’d ordered was there.
“If you can’t get it done today, you can always come in on one of your days off.”
That crossed a line.
Outside of emergencies, Ellie refused to let the hospital chip away at her time with her kids. She was their only parent, and she wouldn’t let them grow up without her. “I’m happy to volunteer free time from home, but I will not bring the twins to the hospital.”