For All Eternity by June Foster
Tammy tugged her arm as they walked through the mall-side entrance to the store. "Joella, wasn't that the guy you used to date?"
She nodded. "Her fiancé? Is that what Betty Ann said?"
Tammy furrowed her brow. "Yeah, I believe so."
She shivered, holding back the cry forcing its way up her throat. "I'm sorry, Tammy. I need to go home."
"But we just got started. I thought we were going to get a bite to eat."
"Tammy, please. I can't." She tried to swallow and couldn't.
"Wait a minute." Tammy tapped her arm. "You still like the guy. Is that it?"
"Yes. I still love him, Tammy." Just speaking the words brought fresh tears. "Are you happy now?" Joella sobbed. "And he's marrying another woman."
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had feelings for him. And that woman was the person you rescued the day of the fire. How ironic is that?"
Joella grasped her throat. "I … I can't breathe."
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Joella threw her purse and Bible on the coffee table and dropped to the couch, tossing Sunday morning's newspaper on the floor. Pastor McNeely's words still chimed in her head. Seek first the kingdom of God. Trust in the Lord with all your might. Simple concepts. Then why were they so hard to put into action?
After seeing Betty Ann and JD yesterday, Joella's mind, not to mention emotions, still reeled. It had taken an hour for her heart to stop pounding and her breathing to return to normal.
Why did the incident upset her so much? It had been months since she and JD said good-bye. She should've expected that he would marry into his own religion one day. Seeing the engagement ring shoved in her face, taunting her, brought it from a possibility to reality. But engaged to the woman she'd rescued in the mountains? What were the odds?
A jagged knife pierced Joella's heart. The final event that would sever all possibility of a life with him was imminent—his wedding. A few weeks after Smith Point, she thought she'd come to realize their relationship's finality, but now it dawned on her, she still held out a measure of hope. Face the facts, Joella. You will lose the man you love, soon.
Maybe she'd meet someone else and fall in love again someday. At night when she closed her eyes, she tried to picture the perfect husband, but JD's image always came to mind. What was wrong with her? He couldn't marry two women, God forbid. Sure she trusted the Lord, but when would her head tell her heart to stop loving JD Neilson?
Lord, I shouldn't be in love with him. Our faiths are poles apart, and it'd never work. So why can't I get him out of my mind? "God, help me."
Joella sighed and gathered up the rolled bundle. She rotated the rubber band off and separated the sections—state and national news, sports, the business section, advertisements. Leaning back on her overstuffed couch pillows, she opened the part with local events and scanned the advertisements for restaurants and upcoming happenings. The wedding segment fell into her lap. Betty Ann had said they would marry in a month. Would the announcement be in there today?
Joella sat up straight. Her heart pounded and her mouth went dry. "No. I don't want it to be true." The urge to wad the newspaper up and burn it in the fireplace almost overcame her.
Her gaze fell on the far right side of the page. With a shaky voice, she whispered the words. "Roberts - Neilson Nuptials Scheduled for September." Morbid curiosity drove her on as she read the announcement in stark, irrevocable black and white print.
The wedding would take place September 15 at the EB temple. The groom was an accountant with Grant, Tucker and Associates, and the bride would be teaching kindergarten with El Camino School District.
Hiding her eyes behind her hands didn't erase reality. Though Betty Ann had inadvertently warned her, she couldn't bear the knowledge alone right now. She leaned toward the coffee table and dug in her purse. Maybe Dave could come over and pray with her. She didn't trust herself to drive. Acid filled the cavity where her stomach used to be as she punched in his speed dial number.
"This is Dave."
"Dave," she whispered. The remainder of her message lay immobile on her tongue.
"Hey, Joella. You sound strange."
"Are you home?"
"No, I grabbed a hamburger after church, and I was on my way to Wal-Mart. What's going on?"
Now the words flew from her mouth. "Do you remember the guy I told you about that day at Starbucks?"
"Yeah, JD Neilson. I wanted to talk to you about him."
Joella sniffled. "What?"
"I met him the other day."
Dave had met him? "Could you come over to my apartment? I want to hear what you have to tell me. But something else. I need prayer."
"Sure, are you okay?"
"No. JD's picture is in the engagement and wedding section of today's paper. It's tearing me up."
Dave's harrumph gave her no clue what he was thinking.
She gulped down a sob. "I always hoped there'd be a way … Now it'll never happen."
"I'll be there in a minute."
Joella paced a circuit from her living room to the kitchen and back to the living room. Maybe Dave could help her internalize the scriptures from today's sermon. Lord, I want to seek first the kingdom, but how do I do it when my heart is in shreds?
If Dave hadn't rung her doorbell when he did, she might have worn a path in the carpet. She raced to the door and opened it. "Sit down." Emotion threatened to undo her as she fought desperation. She shoved the newspaper into his hand when he edged down on the couch.
He glanced at the folded paper. "Yep, it's him." He shook his head and whistled. "I don't know what to say, Joella."
She continued to pace. "I still love him, and Dave, he hasn't found our Savior."
"Oh, Joella." Dave grasped her hand. "I don't know what God is doing here. But I do know beyond any doubt He loves you and wants His best for you. If JD holds to the Exalted Brethren teachings, you couldn't possibly marry him. JD's Jesus was a human transported to heaven by his human father who became a god. Your Jesus is God and the second person of the Trinity. Think about how the friction would affect your children."
She already knew that, but it didn't soothe her pain. "You're right. But how do I deal with my emotions? And I'm not totally thinking of myself right now. I want JD to know and accept the truth about the God of the Bible.
"You can never be assured he'll turn from his cultic beliefs. I'm sorry."
She dropped down beside him on the couch. He spoke the truth, but she still couldn't let go of this situation. "You said you met him. Where? How?"
Dave scratched his head. "That's why I'm so confused here. I went to Starbucks several weeks ago to meet with Henry Rupert about his upcoming youth rally in Sacramento. Henry had invited JD to join us. I remembered the guy from the sunrise service and mentioned it to him. He shrugged off my comment."
Joella's mouth fell open when Dave explained about Dale Burchett and how JD had put Henry onto the lawyer. The night JD had called her about the case, he'd given no clue that he'd been responsible for Henry's discovery—never credited himself.
Dave wrinkled his brow. "But I wanted to tell you about JD's bizarre behavior."
"Bizarre behavior?"
"Yeah, Henry went back to get another coffee, leaving the two of us alone. JD glared at me, so I figured I'd try to make some casual conversation. But then he blew up for no apparent reason. Joella, he literally lost it. He said I was a womanizer. I have no idea what he was talking about. When I told him I didn't even have a girlfriend, he grabbed my shoulder, raised his fist in my face, and shouted a few words I won't repeat."
Joella gasped. "He did?"
"Yes. He called me a liar, for one. I can't figure it out. I'd never met the guy before in my life except at the sunrise service. He apologized and said things weren't going well at work, but I don't believe that. Do you have a clue?"
Joella leaned back on the couch beside Dave. What could it mean? Then as if an ice cube slid down her spine, she stiffened. "Oh, dear
Dave listened with eyes widened as she told him about how JD looked in the window the day Dave prayed for her at Starbucks.
"I believe he thinks you and I are an item. But there's one thing I don't understand." She shook her head. "The night when he said he couldn't see me anymore, he called our relationship off but said that no matter what happens, he still loves me. How could he love Betty Ann, too, and why would it make any difference to him if you and I were dating?"
Dave rested his elbow on his other arm and tapped his temple. "Joella, let me ask you a question. Would you mind if I call the guy and set up a meeting with him?"
*****
JD trudged out of the Ormond Complex and down the sidewalk to Starbucks—again. The coffee shop was becoming a habit, but curiosity wouldn't let him refuse Dave's invitation. JD couldn't allow the man to think he objected to him dating Joella. After all, she was free to date anyone. He'd have to convince his heart, however.
Though it would be hard talking to Joella's boyfriend again, he'd have to get better control over himself this time. He increased his pace as he passed the courthouse and the federal building. One more block.
Starbucks appeared on the right. Reyes sat in the same chair as Henry last time. Emitting three quick streams of air, JD attempted to restrain from slugging the guy's ugly face. The jerk made him sick—taking advantage of Joella so soon after the breakup.
Familiar shelves with coffee cups, tins of tea, and thermal containers filled the store. Signs with Back to School were posted around the room.
Dave rose and held out his hand, a cautious look on his face, as if waiting for JD to shove him again.
JD gave his strong grip a shake and sat in the opposite seat. Two cups of coffee rested on the table between them.
"House blend okay?" Dave said and pointed to JD's drink.
Seemed like a thoughtful gesture after JD's rough treatment. "It's fine."
Dave took a sip. "Thanks for agreeing to see me. I'd like to clear up a few things." He locked his gaze on JD. "We should've had this conversation sooner."
"Look, get to the point." JD tensed his shoulders and attempted a deep breath. His rising anger wasn't fair. Even if Reyes had made a move on Joella, he had every right.
The pastor took another sip of coffee and then the corners of his mouth lifted.
Was the other man laughing at him?
"I have a feeling you think Joella and I are dating."
Resentment built again in JD's chest. "What do you take me for? A moron? I saw you hugging her and getting chummy—over there by the window." A muscle twitched in JD's jaw. What was this guy trying to pull?
"I only found out about this situation yesterday. I wasn't hugging her. Maybe she had her hand on my shoulder, but I was praying with her. It might've looked like hugging to you, but it wasn't. Joella and I have been friends since college and have never had any romantic interest in each other. We go to the same church." A sparkle flickered in Dave's eyes and a slow grin stretched his lips.
Was the pastor telling the truth? "Why would she have her hand on your shoulder while you were praying?" It seemed like an exaggerated response to a simple prayer.
Dave scratched the back of his head and smiled. "She was crying and pretty upset."
"Why?"
The other guy held up his palms. "Look, man. I can't betray a confidence."
Heat rose up JD's neck to his ears. He believed Dave now. The time he saw Joella was only a couple of days after Smith Point. She didn't have a new boyfriend, like he'd thought. He'd misinterpreted the situation. In fact, she might've been crying because of him, not that that made things any better. JD lowered his head. "I owe you an apology."
Dave examined his coffee keeping his eyes averted. "It's okay."
"No, I'm sorry. I acted like a jerk. It's just that … I've been going through some things. You see, Joella and I …" If he didn't stop now, he'd tell Dave the truth—that he still loved her.
Dave sat up straighter in the chair. "If I were to guess, you two still have strong feelings for each other."
JD didn't want the guy to know he'd spoken the truth, but what about Joella? Does she still love me? He stared at his lap and rubbed his temples, not daring to meet Dave's gaze. When he finally looked up, he nodded. "Things are pretty tough for me right now."
Dave gripped his shoulder. "I want to encourage you, the same way I did Joella. Trust God, the Creator of all things. If He's big enough to bring the universe and all mankind into existence, He's big enough to work in your life. And I'd like to remind you. There's nothing you can do to earn His favor. He loves you unconditionally."
The one time JD attended the sunrise service with Joella, the pastor had said the same thing … God created the universe—a different God than Exalted Father. And this God, the One whom Dave spoke of, had a son named Jesus, too. The pastor at the sunrise service said this Jesus was God. Confusion filled him. His head spun, and he felt dizzy. He closed his eyes.
"Hey, man. Are you okay?" Dave said.
"No. I mean yes. I don't know." He wanted to believe there was a God that loved him, but if he turned away from EB, Dad would never speak to him again.
JD blinked. The hair on the back of his neck stood up. If he were honest with himself, Dave's God struck fear in his heart. Just like his own father had for all these years.
*****
JD sat on the edge of his bed as he massaged his head with one hand and held the phone with the other. "Betty Ann. I'm sorry. I don't feel well. I'm afraid I can't go with you and Tolvin and Aleece to the movies tonight. Can you forgive me?"
His meeting with Dave this afternoon challenged him. His body ached, and all he could think of was eating a bowl of soup and going to bed. Surely he wasn't getting the flu.
"JD, what's wrong with you? You seem so tired lately … and grumpy. Why are you so cranky?" Betty Ann's voice whined. "Oh, well, hope you get some rest. Bye, honey." She hung up.
He figured it out. If he ever needed someone to feel sorry for him, he'd go to his mother, not Betty Ann. He padded into the kitchen in his worn house shoes. Earlier she'd described him as an old man. He hadn't even arrived at his thirtieth birthday though he felt like fifty … whatever that was like.
The electric opener whirled, and he pulled the lid off the can of chicken soup. At home, Mom would've fixed him homemade chicken noodle soup. But he'd become entirely too dependent on her lately. Crying and looking for sympathy the other day would have to last him for a while.
The warm soup from the microwave made a meager supper, but he didn't have much of an appetite. Unusual for him. Yep. Must be getting sick.
After two bites, he placed the bowl in the sink, brushed his teeth, and traipsed into the bedroom. The clock on the nightstand said only 9:00 p.m., but he snuggled down under the covers and closed his eyes anyway. With the comfy pillow supporting his head, he drifted into another world.
He stumbled through moss-covered trees searching for the path. Scant rays of light found their way into the dense forest through a tree-covered canopy.
So quiet. Thump, thump. What made the noise? The sound of his beating heart.
He staggered down the narrow path, barely wide enough for his feet and shivered. But the air wasn't chilly.
"JD, JD."
He staggered in the direction of Someone calling his name. Amazing. He wasn't afraid.
The path meandered past ferns and low growing blackberry bushes. A structure appeared ahead, but he couldn't identify it.
He peeped through tree trunks and foliage, trying to determine what caught his attention. As he ambled closer, the ruins of an old pioneer cabin came into view. A rock foundation marked the spot where walls once stood.
The remains of an old homestead looked nothing like the ones he'd seen as a kid when he'd traveled with family. Usually a fireplace had been all of the vertical remains. Here, the only thing standing was a door … an old wooden door with nails driven into it in od
He stole up to the clearing, to the weathered door. Knock, knock. It wasn't his pulse this time. Strange. Where did the tapping come from?
The answer crept into his heart. From the other side of the door. He hiked around.
JD bolted up in bed and glanced at the clock on his nightstand. Four o'clock. His heart raced. The dream engulfed him like warm water. He wanted to go back to sleep to discover the Source of the knocking. A yearning bubbled up in him. He needed to know, longed to understand Who knocked on the old door. He lay back down and hugged his pillow. Maybe if he went to sleep again …
Chapter Twenty-Eight
For almost a week the mystery eluded JD. He tried to ignore the disappointment of not dreaming about the door again, not discovering Who knocked. But then, he mustn't allow his unconscious mind influence his life.
He made his way down the temple's wide center aisle to the exit. The Overseer stood at the main door after the Sunday service and shook hands with JD. With a nod to some of his friends, and a wave to Mom and Dad, JD strolled out into the sunshine and headed for the small pebbled walkway that led to the gardens out back.
Today, he needed some quiet time, a place where he could get his thoughts together. Somewhere private. In college, he liked to stroll along the path through the flowerbeds and shrubs. There he tried to understand more of the church's teachings, but the concepts overwhelmed him. Today maybe the solitude and serenity of the silence would help him get his thoughts together.
A stand of Big Leaf Maples separated the gardens from the street. The path, secluded from public view by a seven foot boxwood hedge, wound through hydrangea bushes and Redbud Trees.
If he veered off the trail to the left, he'd pass through an opening to the inner gardens with the rock fountain. He could sit on the stone bench and catch the aroma of the lilac bushes. Listen to the sounds of the gurgling water. Close his eyes and find peace. If he ever wanted to experience tranquility, he would have to make it happen.
When he approached the opening, behind the tall hedges, he heard voices. No chance of privacy now. Hands in his pockets, he turned around back down the path heading to the church.