Inside the Fire by Heather Glidewell
I had never been in love, but if this is what love felt like it was ripping through me like I had been stabbed repeatedly by an icepick. I looked down to see his message back.
Wesley: How can I not Dawn?
I started bawling, my chest heaving in and out, it was hurting so bad. I felt like a shell around my heart was being broken, I felt more real and more alive. In such a short time I had taken so many things from him and yet he still held on to me like I was a lifeline.
Me: How can you be so sure?
If he was unsure of this then I would know what I was feeling was nothing more than heartburn with a side of apocalypse.
Wesley: When I saw you I knew.
With that I melted into a big glob of black and white goop on my maroon bed spread. This had to be love because the thought of being without him made my body tremble with a fear I could not understand. My heart felt like it was about to explode and my head was swimming.
Me: How do you know?
The pain was easing and nerves were setting in, the cold tingle percolated in my finger tips and for the pure Hell of it I willed it to escape. The ice burned with an intense freezing sensation and made me gasp in discomfort. I closed my hands and let a few profanities fly as I tried to stop the burning feeling lingering on my fingertips.
Let me explain the feelings in my fingertips. When my fingertips burn it means I’m about to release a red flame, similar to what my father showed me. When they felt icy it was a white flame with a soothing blue glow. I could only assume it was connected to my mother, but I had never seen her use it so I wasn’t completely sure it was.
Wesley: Are you going to ask my any questions where I don’t have to prove myself?
I looked at the message annoyed. So what if I was asking too many questions, maybe I just needed to figure out if I felt the same for him that he felt for me. I had managed to come to one conclusion if I was in love I didn’t want to know what it felt like to have a broken heart. My phone started buzzing, and it took me a moment to get to it.
Wesley: I’m on my way. I have to see you.
I half smiled as I lay down, curled myself in a ball, and let the tears fall. I didn’t know what was happening to me all I knew is I felt like I would fall apart. I had been so sure of myself before coming to Midvale. Why was this town twisting me into something different? I couldn’t understand why it was my life changing. I knew what I was.
There was a lot of things I didn’t understand actually. It seemed ever sense we moved here I was spending a lot of time wondering what was happening to me. Either this town had some form of force that caused the light to go dark or it was the fact I had turned eighteen.
****
I had fallen asleep at some point. Cried until my tears would not come anymore. I awoke to the feeling of my bed dipping as if someone was crawling in next to me. I rolled over and into familiar arms; I could feel his heartbeat and smell his fresh scent. I felt his lips on the top of my head and I sensed I was at ease. Closing my eyes I went back to sleep in the arms of my blue eyed boy.
It was cold, the sky was dark but you could still make out the shades of blue along the moving clouds, I was walking along the shore my toes sinking into the soft sand. The wind was pulling my hair away from my neck making it flutter in the breeze behind me.
I walked on the beach for hours letting the water lap at my feet. Up ahead I could see him standing, waiting. However, with each step I took it seemed like he was getting further and further away.
There was laughing and a flash of red. I looked around fervently trying to find what was blocking my view up ahead.
I screamed as I watched Wesley crumble and I ran. I ran faster than I had ever ran before but I could not reach him. The laughing was constant in my head now, whatever it was, it was toying with me.
He was still there when I woke up later that morning. He looked so innocent and peaceful in his sleep and I did not want to disturb him. I quietly got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, my mother’s bedroom door was open but she wasn’t home. I looked outside to see her car was gone.
I wonder where she went?
I looked over and saw there was a note on the fridge.
Gone to the store and a few other places will be home later. Tell Wesley next time to just come in and not wake me up. The door is unlocked for a reason. –Mom-
“She was up when I got here. Said she would have to run a few places in the morning and to make sure you were ok. There was an animal attack last night? What were you doing out in the front yard at two in the morning?” His arms cloaked me and he kissed the top of my head.
When had he come into the room?
Why didn’t I hear him, I can hear everything. I looked up at him puzzled trying to figure out how he was getting around my super sensitive spidey senses.
“Is that why you decided to finally text me?” His eyes were shining.
What had my mother told him when he showed up last night? She usually has far more believable than this. I suppose it would be too much for a mortal to understand. They had it hard enough grasping the concept of what was good and bad in their tiny little world.
“That was probably the main reason.” I sighed.
No tingles or prickles appeared in my fingertips I finally felt at peace in my skin.
“The other reason is.” I swallowed. I would say it. I would let it roll off my lips. Finally I would take the plunge. “The other reason is.” My heart started pounding my palms were getting sweaty. “I love you Wesley. I cannot imagine my life without you.” There I said it. I could have patted myself on the back if I wasn’t enjoying the safe sensation of being in his arms.
“I know.” I could sense him smiling. “I love you too Dawn.”
It sent chills up my spine. I had never been told someone loved me. Not even from boys that said I was the type of girl they could spend forever with. The emotions surging through me were confusing, but I felt excited. I was starting this new life, and I was fortunate enough to have this amazing boy by my side. My heart pained me for a second before settling in rhythm with his.
Chapter Eleven
Friends & Family
When my mother had enrolled me in school she had to choose a sixth period elective to count towards my graduation credits. Some of the classes I had taken as electives in El Paso transferred over into other spots. I couldn’t do a half day because I had a seventh period writing class that wasn’t offered earlier in the day. So without asking she enrolled me in Choir. Let me say there is nothing wrong with Choir. I absolutely love to sing my issue was with the other students in the class. It was hard enough just trying to be in the same room with twenty of them now I’m stuck in a large square box with over an eighty.
We had a sub on this particular day so we were pretty much having a study hall period. I was sitting with my back against the wall my ear buds secured in my ears listening to Three Days Grace when a boy came over and sat beside me motioning for me to turn down my music. I paused the song took the buds out of my ears and looked at him flabbergasted. The only person that had taken the time to talk to me was Wesley. So what could this boy possibly want?
“Dawn, right?” He held out his hand. I stared at him for a moment before reaching out and taking it firmly in mine.
He smiled brightly at me. I was suddenly confused. Why was this boy being so nice? Other kids in the classroom had stopped what they were doing and were suddenly staring at the two of us. Nobody had taken the time to just say hi and now someone wanted to have a conversation? The few discussions had been centered on school work and only because they were my partners for that class. I was waiting for the pig’s blood to pour down on me from above so everyone could point and laugh. To me it was the only logical reason this boy was talking to me.
“Yeah, that’s me.” I said still a bit muddled by what exactly was happening.
No, really, what w
“I’m Adam.” He said not paying any attention to the fact I was tense. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you earlier. You know like when you first got here. I’m usually really good about introducing myself.”
“It’s ok, Adam, I’m sure I made it pretty hard for anyone to really approach me. People haven’t been all too nice to me since I got here.” I was starting to soften to the boy. He didn’t feel like a threat, and he sure didn’t look like one.
He was in or around six foot three maybe one hundred sixty five pounds, brown hair and light brown eyes. He had a nice smile even with the braces on his teeth. Not that braces are bad in any way just a lot of people are pretty sensitive to their smiles when they have them. He was definitely cute, some might even say hot, and incredibly friendly. What I mean is I felt instantly at ease with him.
“I know you are with that Wesley guy.” He didn’t sound too thrilled to say my boyfriend’s name, but he was pleasant none the less. “You really look like you could use a friend sitting over here all by yourself.”
I laughed warmly. “Yeah, a friend would be nice.”
“So why did you move here of all places? Not many outsiders come to Midvale.” He crossed his ankles and smiled at me.
“My step father passed away about six months ago and my mom had a really hard time dealing with it.” I can’t believe I was telling him this. “She started to go downhill and the pastor at our church told her this would be a good place to start all over. So we packed up and came here.” I gave him the abridged version. I was sure he didn’t want to hear the other details involved in our move.
“Your mom must be the new counselor at my church then. I haven’t seen you around there though.” He said glancing at the class for a second then looking back at me.
“I’m not a very religious person anymore to be honest.” I said softly.
“We all have our moment when we question faith. Some come out of it quicker than others I suppose. I’m sorry to hear about your step- father. What happened?” He was fumbling with the hem of his shirt.
“He was in the Army. Was shot overseas.” This was all I wanted to share about that story. I didn’t want to tell him how my mother knew he was dead before the military even showed up on our doorstep. I glanced at the clock we had only five minutes left of class.
“May I see your phone?” He said pointing at the object in my hand. I nodded as he took it and looked at it a moment. “Three Days Grace huh? Pretty cool. Great taste in music if I might say so myself.” He closed my music files and opened the phone book. “I’m going to give you my number. If you need anything such as a tutor, duet buddy, or mechanic on that run down piece of shit car you have parked in the parking lot you can call.” He smirked.
My car wasn’t exactly how he described it but it could use some work. However, it was mine and I loved it.
“Anyway you can call me or text me.” He opened my text messages, created a new one, and texted himself. He smiled again and checked his phone in his pocket. “Now I have yours. I promise to call you at all hours of the night and ask you relationship advice.” He was joking of course.
Right, he had to be joking?
“Thank you.” was all I could say when he handed my phone back to me.
I looked at it a little puzzled but I was grateful someone had taken a moment to actually talk to me. I know my personality had not exactly given the other students the push to actually get to know me. I’m also sure my different appearance helped as well.
“It’s no problem.” He gave me another warm smile as he got up from my section of the floor. “I’m serious though. Call me or text me any time.”
He walked away from me and grabbed his bag from the other side of the choir room just before the bell rang. He gave a wave as I stood to get my stuff together. I waved back and flashed him a sincere smile, teeth and all. I prayed deep down inside it didn’t come across as creepy as it felt.
I threw my bag over my shoulder and walked into the hallway where my very handsome and wonderful boyfriend was waiting on me. He was standing there with a huge smile on his face. Adam passed him and they shared a silent nod.
“What was that all about?” He asked me taking my hand.
“What was what?” I asked answering his question with a question. He looked at me and rolled his eyes. If there was one thing Wesley hated it was being answered with another question.
“Did you make a friend?” He chuckled. I pushed my shoulder into his arm and rolled my eyes.
“Maybe.” I smirked as he playfully squeezed my hand in his.
“Adam is a good guy, very friendly, not overly friendly though. I can trust you with him.” He joked as we walked to our seventh period.
“He is the first person to talk to me. Well besides you.” I said adjusting my bag.
“People here do not do well when something new is thrown into their mix. Everyone thinks a religious town will be accepting to everyone. However when you think about it they have gone to school together since kindergarten. Anything new and exciting comes in and it throws them off balance.” He was talking from experience.
“So what’s the plans this afternoon?” I asked as we reached my classroom door.
“I was thinking it’s time you met my father.” He stated, and the blood drained from my face. This is where our relationship would end.
****
I followed him to his house that afternoon after our final class. The entire time I was trying to convince myself this would be ok. I had met ex-boyfriends parents before. Yeah I usually gave them the impression I was a bad influence by the way I dressed. The black dress I was wearing seemed to be quite constricting all of a sudden. My calf length lace up boots seemed even more so. I would suffocate before I even got there.
I pulled in behind Wesley’s car and turned off the engine. Another internal pep talk and I was ready to go.
“You look like you are about to be sick.” Wesley said opening my car door and helping me out.
“I feel like I’m about to be sick.” I confirmed as I fixed the bunched skirt. “I have never done well with meeting parents.”
“You will be fine. My dad is pretty open minded trust me.” He offered his hand, and I took it gratefully.
Walking into the house again was hard enough. I hadn’t set foot in it since the day I had run out. His father was sitting at the table when we entered playing with the edge of a napkin in front of him. He stood up as we entered and a huge smile played on his face.
Wesley looked like his father; the same height, the same blue yes, the same amazing smile. I had yet to come across a photo of his mother so I was pretty sure my assumption was flawed and slightly one sided.
“Dawn?” He asked a little too excited.
“Yes, sir.” I said trying to give him a “pretty” smile.
“Please, come in and have a seat.” He motioned for us to join him at the table.
Wesley led me to the table and pulled a chair out for me. I took a seat putting my hands on my lap so he couldn’t see how much I was shaking.
“So Dad. Dawn is new this year.” Wesley said looking at his father.
Mr. Jensen glanced at his son and smiled at him wearily. I noticed his father still wore his wedding band. Seemed odd for a family that never talked about her or had any of her photos in the house.
“Oh really? Where did you come here from?” He raised an eyebrow.
“El Paso. My mother and I came here when she changed her job.” I had already told the sad story to two people. I didn’t think my emotional stability could take another walk down memory lane.
“So it’s just you and your mother then?” He asked.
This was probably the best conversation I had with a boyfriend’s family since I started dating.
“Yes, sir.” I nodded at him.
“We moved here after Wesley’s mother passed.” He looked away his eye
“That is what he told me. I was sorry to hear of your wife’s passing.” I bowed my head. Now I felt I needed to tell him my mother was here due to the same terms.
The pain his father was experiencing was heart wrenching. I could not imagine how I would be if Wesley was torn from my life without any notice. I would stop at nothing to get him back as long as what had taken him was not on his own free will.
“Dawn’s step-father passed away six months ago.” Wesley pointed out for me before his father could speak.
“That’s unfortunate.” Mr. Jensen looked at me and frowned. “This must be hard for your mother.”
“She’s doing better. For a while I was concerned. She likes where she’s at and she seems to enjoy the congregation.” I said looking down at my hands. They were still shaking.
“Would you like something drink?” Mr. Jensen perked.
“Please.” I said my throat feeling dry.
His father stood up and walked to the refrigerator.
“I have tea, coke, Dr. Pepper?” His father looked at me and smiled.
“Dr. Pepper sounds great.” I said as he came back and handed me a can.
“So what are your kids plans this afternoon?” He asked changing our conversation from what it had been previously.
“I would show Dawn the woods.” Wesley said glancing at me.
The woods? I don’t want to go in there.
“What is so exciting about those woods?” His father asked as Wesley smiled.
“It’s just beautiful.” Wesley shrugged.
“I’m fine not going into the woods.” I said my voice shaking.
He laughed.
“There is nothing in the woods that could hurt you.” He said as my eyes shot to his father.
“I’ve lived in the desert for so long being in the trees makes me feel confined.” I lied. I knew something was in those woods. I was not ready to find out who or what it was.
“Fine, fine.” Wesley caved.
“Daddy?” A girl about twelve entered the room in a flower print dress and a confused expression.
“What is it Melissa?” Mr. Jensen asked with affection.