Love Letters from a Teen Heartthrob by Q. T. Valentine
Now to other topics.
Hopefully you’re doing well today. My mom taught me over the last weekend how to make this great wassail. It’s non-alcoholic since no one in my family drinks alcohol so I brought some to school today and you can try some at lunch if you want.
I don’t know if you’re allergic to any foods so maybe you should know that it doesn’t contain any strawberries or nuts or bee stingers in it (since some people are allergic to bee stings). Of course I’ve never heard of people cooking with bee stingers or bee venom or bee anything – except for honey. That I’ve heard of: honey. But it doesn’t have any of that in it either. (I’m just trying to cover all of my bases here about allergies.)
I mention the fact that it’s non-alcoholic since I think most people make wassail with alcohol in it like rum or something. So anyway, no worries about us getting kicked out of school for drinking alcohol at lunchtime. And no getting kicked out of school for being Mormon non-alcohol drinkers either since neither of us are Mormon. (At least I don’t think you are. Wait... are you a Mormon?)
Okay, so in light of that possible gaffe, I have no hard feelings against Mormons. In fact, maybe that was an inappropriate joke since they got abused and kicked out of like three different states back in the 1800’s before finally settling in Utah.
They openly claimed a belief in the literal, physical resurrection of Jesus Christ (and still do), basically saying that the Christ that died lives again as one who is now immortal and that God the Father speaks to us today and so they got harassed and attacked and driven from place to place.
There was even an extermination order taken out against them right here in a land where freedom of religion is supposed to be our most treasured heritage and at the heart of the very roots of the individual liberties we all cherish today. Lots of them were murdered back then.
I guess that’s a little like the Jews, being murdered for their religious beliefs. That’s messed up, huh? At least I think it is. It’s just wrong. Thank goodness people are a lot nicer to Mormons and Jews today.
Did you know that “Mormon” is actually just a nickname? Mormon's are actually members of “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” That's a long name for a church, huh? But at least they're Christ-centered. Just look at the name of the church. It's a good Christian name. They're also called Latter-day Saints or LDS for short.
The people that are nice to Latter-day Saints today and don't mock them or spread lies and rumors about them are those that actually go and talk to someone that's LDS that loves going to the LDS church. They get the truth about their beliefs and practices by going directly to a current member instead of from someone that's only interested in spreading unconfirmed information (misunderstandings or lies).
And usually they find LDS people are pretty nice and even cool.
You know the first Christians after Christ’s death, resurrection and subsequent ascension were persecuted and murdered too. The first Christians were also quickly slandered by being labeled as a cult. It’s Christmas time so this is certainly an appropriate subject.
So I apologize for making that joke about getting kicked out of the lunch room for being a non-alcohol drinker or Mormon.
Actually, my uncle and his family are Mormons (members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and they are really good people. They donate a lot to charity and they’re about the happiest family we’ve ever known. They’re good Christians, they’re not a cult and I’d like to believe they would forgive my gaffe about getting kicked out of the lunchroom.
It’s actually because of the good example of his family, since they don’t drink alcohol or smoke, that caused my parents to stop drinking also. But neither of them has ever smoked.
Ultimately I like what Romans 10:12 says. It basically says that there's only one God and so in God's eyes there’s no difference between either the Jews or the Gentiles since “the same Lord over all ... is rich unto all that call upon him.”
Did you ever tell me what religion your family is? If you did then I forgot (but I’m pretty sure you didn’t or else I would have remembered.) I know you’re Christians but that’s all I know – if I’ve got that right.
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know as much about various religions or the subject of being more spiritual as much as I would like.
Before my uncle discovered the LDS faith, he told me that he prayed a certain prayer one day that changed his life. He said that he was concerned about not being able to get all of his questions about life and God through the bible alone. He couldn't get the answers he needed from various pastors or ministers of other churches either. So he made a sincere promise to God in his prayer. He told God that he believes the bible is the word of God and that if God would send him two witnesses, just as the bible outlines, to teach him the answers to life and the answers about God that he was seeking, and that if God would help him to recognize when the right witnesses have come into his life, that he would not shut the door on the answer to his prayer but he would listen to God's message and do what was right to do with it. God answered his prayer and my uncle kept his promise.
Come to think of it, I should probably pray for the same thing sometime soon. I bet if I'm sincere like he was, hopefully I'll get big blessings of answers like he did.
I will say this: something my uncle said about God that I’ll never forget. He said, “So many good people have so many things wrong about God and they would be so much happier if they knew the truths God himself has given all of us for these modern times.”
My uncle reads the bible every day. He knows the bible better than anyone I know and so I believe him. He’s a good man.
Believe it or not, I wonder sometimes what your parents are like. I wonder what they look like and who has your eyes and your nose and your smile. I wonder if you look more like your dad or your mom. I wonder about these things because I’d like to know who should get the greater portion of blame for causing so many people to find you attractive.
Oh, I’ve never told you before that you’re attractive?
Newsflash: you’re really attractive and I’m confident that I can’t be the only one that agrees about that fact.
But don’t freak out thinking I’m trying to come onto you in this letter here because I’m not.
You’ll know when I’m coming onto you because it might bear a strong resemblance to my coming up to you, running my fingers through your hair and saying, “Oh. . . I see the woman on the latest magazine cover is following your fashion lead by having the same hairstyle and clothing as you. Don’t you think it’s about time you started returning the calls of every fashion magazine on planet earth so they can finally put your gorgeous face on the cover of their magazines?” I’ll make sure to use really flirtatious tones while I’m saying it too.
Wow! Long letters! I’m breaking records here so looks like I should stop now so it doesn’t take the entire Christmas break for you to read it and reply.
Have a great day!
See you later!
Me
December 19
You:
Thank you so much for that incredibly delicious “Mango Delight” fruit cake. I normally hate fruit cake but the one you gave me tasted absolutely fantastic! Thank you again! If you made it I’d actually like the recipe. If you bought it, please tell me where so I can buy some more next year (if not sooner).
So guess what I’m looking at? Amazingly there’s this card and a beautifully wrapped gift with your name on it and it’s sitting right in front of me. I wonder how it got here. . . hmmm. . .
Well, since this particular gift should be in front of you instead of me, looks like you should expect a gift coming to a hallway near you soon. Actually, I’m hoping to get this to you in between classes before third period. And, of course, this note will be tagging along with the card and gift.
Wow! Christmas break is almost here. I’m going to miss you like
Since it’s not very likely you’ll be fitting me into your suitcase anytime soon, how about we make a list of things to do together over the break even though we’re apart?
For example, if either of us winds up at a shopping mall over the break (and the chances of that occurring for both of us are almost guaranteed since at least one of us will have a relative that needs to do more shopping before Christmas is actually here) then we could go to a high end perfume and cologne counter and check out some new fragrances to see if any new ones especially perk up our olfactory senses. Then we can come back in January and share which labels we like the most.
Or if either of us sees a photo with Santa opportunity we can do the cheesy thing and actually get our picture taken with Santa and then bring it back to show one another after the break.
And maybe whenever we’re out shopping, we can keep our eyes out for the most expensive Christmas gift we actually come across during our shopping and we can take a picture of the item and note the actual price of it. Whoever returns after the break with a picture of the most expensive gift has to treat the other person to a dozen homemade cookies and lunch here at school.
So do we have a deal? I say game on, baby! Bring it!!
Well, I do sincerely hope you have a great Christmas break and that you really like what I got you for Christmas. (I would tell you Santa brought these for you but I’m pretty sure you’re too old to believe in that stuff anymore.) I say these things because I really do want you to be happy and enjoy your Christmas holiday . . . and also because I know you better be ready with some great cookies for me during the first week of school next year because I’m gonna win! Woooooweee! Yeah!
See you soon!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Me
Chapter 5: The January Chapter
January 6
You:
You told me in the hall just now that you had a great New Year's Day and then you flashed me a picture of a picture proving that you won. What the heck is up with that? I had a picture of one of the most expensive sports cars in the world and you smoke me with a picture of a picture.
Who in their right mind gives as a gift a million dollar Picasso? Nobody does that! That’s not a gift! That’s an investment.
I can’t believe you won. That’s so . . . it’s so . . . well, it’s just rude! (And I’m not a sore loser. I’m a poor loser. There’s a difference and your picture proves it. You should pity me. Even if my dad earns more than yours, I’m the one that has to cough up the cookies . . . wait. . . that was a bad choice of words.)
Smoked by a picture of a picture. Unbelievable!
Well, I can’t speak for you but I’m ready to talk about something else.
And, no, I’m going to skip right over the fact that I’m the only one of the two of us that actually had their picture taken with Santa. I made a complete fool of myself while you didn’t participate in the clearly optional choice of having your picture taken with Santa.
And, by the way, I find it very difficult to believe that for an entire two weeks you never came across a single Santa Claus while you were out shopping with your family. Of course, I also realize that you never actually denied that you ever saw an unidentified Santa object in the mall. I just feel like being overly dramatic for whatever reason with all of this.
At least you checked out some perfume and cologne and I did too. In fact, that was one of my favorite things to do over the break. And if you hear that S.B. was also at the mall when I was, in fact, at the same perfume counter as I was, yes, it’s true that she took some cologne and splashed it on me and proceeded to “sample” it on my neck. But just know that I took no real pleasure in that experience. It’s actually kind of hard to enjoy when your parents walk up to you interrupting a flirtatious female that’s sniffing your neck while she's saying loud enough for pretty much anyone near to hear, “Anytime you want . . . I can make you happy. There’s nothing I won’t do.”
(As I recall, her moves were interrupted by my father’s incredibly loud “Excuse me! But who the hell are you and what are you doing to my Son?!” I’m chuckling now recalling it because you should’ve seen my dad’s face. You would’ve thought she was giving me leprosy or something. It was classic!)
But despite what should have been a rather embarrassing moment for her with me in the mall, I’m confident that that experience won’t stop her from doing her usual stop by to run her fingers through my hair sometime today in the hall. She’s apparently incorrigible in her flirtatious ways.
So word to the wise, if you hear any rumors about she and I from over the break, they’re just rumors and nothing more. There’s nothing between us. There never has been and there never will be. She’s not exactly my type.
In fact, just before the Christmas break, some guys in the locker room after gym class were teasing me that I’m past due for losing my virginity and that they had the “perfect” candidate to aid me in that “lust worthy” endeavor. You could take a guess at who they chose for me but I’ll just spare you the suspense and tell you they were recommending S.B.
So I asked them. I said, “Okay. . . so what if I follow your fool’s plan? What next? Where will it lead?” And of course they said “Nirvana, man!” and they all laughed and I couldn’t stop myself from saying boldly, “You guys are so uncool! You actually want me to go get some S.T.I. or some buffet of S.T.I.s and then what? Who’s going to pay for my doctor’s bills to solve the problems that come with it? Who? You J.T.? Or you C.J.?
Who’s going to compensate me for any sick days I have to take away from work in my future career that costs me money – maybe even my job – ten or twenty years from now after I have sex with her? You D.B.? Are you going to pay for what happens to me if I follow your fool, peer pressure advice? No! I will have to pay for it and none of you guys will even be around when my suffering starts – likely beginning in just a matter of days from doing it.
And I haven't even mentioned the potential loss of my soul for doing it before marriage, in case any here believe in God... and, by the way, I do.
And what about her? What about her soul and salvation? What about her future? Are you even thinking about what happens if one of you idiots pushes some guy to have sex with her, to use her and then what happens if she gets pregnant? Huh? What happens?
Are one of you guys going to be around to help her deal with the consequences of your participation since you pushed someone to do that to her? Are any of you going to pay for her child care or babysitters or rent for her house if she chooses to keep the child of your peer pressure stupidity? No. You’ll all flee like cowards and say she deserves it when in fact, you guys deserve to be charged with participation in a crime.
What crime? The crime of perpetuating potentially fatal sexually transmitted infections and perpetuating the poverty cycle here in America because over 90% of teen girls that get pregnant and choose to keep their babies will end up living their entire lives in poverty – broke, poor, hungry and vulnerable to a whole variety of crimes you and I may never have to worry about because we’re guys and we’re probably going to earn more money since we probably won’t ever have any children until after we’ve graduated from college and have a good job.
"Some of you know what happens when a guy gets a girl drunk and she gets pregnant. She can become an alcoholic and lose custody of her children when the government comes and takes her children away from her and puts them in foster care since she's an addict and the father of her kids was irresponsible and selfish by abandoning her financially and emotionally years before so if she can't care for her kids then total strangers have to. What kin
"As long as he can get alone with her kids away from her then he can do what he wants with them sexually. Maybe she's a deep sleeper at night or he makes sure she sleeps deeply or he "works" from home while she works away from home during the day then he can fulfill his dark desires while she just believes he's some great guy for marrying her and putting a so-called end to the problems of her being a single mom. But he'll never admit what he's up to and he's probably threatened her kids with some evil to keep them quiet. Now if any of you have already been victims of this, why would you want it to happen to someone else? Statistics show that nearly 99% of all child molesters are male. Why would you want to perpetuate that cycle?
"As long as there's not enough money earned for her family then she has to be away from home. If the mother,- the safest, most trustworthy adult for her kids to be with - must be away from home then her kids have to be sent to daycare or some other place where her children are at risk for various kinds of abuse and certainly suffer emotionally from having to be away from the kind of emotional security that only being at home with mom brings.