Love Letters from a Teen Heartthrob by Q. T. Valentine
The family sticks to lower cost activities so the total cost is only $50.
But this also happens to be the day when the insurance bills are due for the two family cars. The total bill is $150.
So another $200 ($150 + $50) is needed to pay for the kids’ activities and the car insurance. $2,440 + $200 = $2,640 spent.
Day 25: A medical bill arrives in the mail. This is a bill from when your dad got into a car accident and needed to recover in the hospital.
Although the whole family is glad Dad survived, the driver of the other car was at fault and likely didn’t have insurance (or was drunk) because the driver drove away quickly leaving the scene most likely because the driver at fault was either drunk or texting and didn’t want to get caught. Police still have not found the driver who is guilty of this hit and run.
The hospital and minor surgery costs were expensive. The total out-of-pocket costs your parents are responsible to pay and have negotiated to pay the hospital are $22,000 with payments of $200 per month.
As life goes, this also happens to be the day when both of your parent’s college loans come due. That’s another $300 a month.
Plus more gas is needed for both cars. That’s at least $75.
So just for today, the 25th day of the month, $575 is needed ($200 + $300 + $75 = $575) So that means that $2,640 + $575 = $3,215 has been spent in less than 30 days.
And now the phone and internet bill is due. That’s another $200 due.
$3,215 + $200 = $3,415
Both of your parents are praying feverishly day and night with gratitude for the fact that no one in your family needs to go to the doctor or dentist today and that there are no car repairs needed at this time because there just isn’t enough money for it.
Do you have $3,415 to help out your parents every month if they needed your help? No? Then how are you going to pay for a safe home for your spouse and new baby if you are responsible for an unplanned teen pregnancy?
$39,000 is a rough estimate for the net amount needed per year to pay for common bills such as in the example mentioned above. So all you have to do is earn around $65,000 gross per year to pay for bills like these. Do you think you can earn $65,000 per year – BY YOURSELF – to provide as the only breadwinner in your family?
It’s not easy but it’s possible.
Did you also happen to notice the HUGE mistake with the example given of what it might be like to be in your parent’s shoes? Look at what’s been paid for so far:
Charitable donations
Money into a 401(k)
Taxes
Home rental (or mortgage)
Utilities
Gas for cars
Food and other household supplies
School supplies and clothing
Extracurricular activities at school
Car insurance
Medical bill
College loans
Phone and internet
What in the world could be missing? Adequate emergency savings and money for learning to earn enough to make it happen more quickly.
Remember, it’s not a matter of IF something will go wrong in your life financially – but it’s only a matter of WHEN. Things often go wrong more than once in a person’s life. It can either be a series of financial setbacks, or a few small setbacks and then one huge setback (i.e. devastating medical diagnosis that too often snowballs into a lifetime of expensive needs to manage health challenges.)
It’s not worth gambling your life of your family’s lives or their safety and financial security by not accumulating an adequate multi-subject emergency reserve or individual accounts that are subject specific for savings reserves.
You can do everything in life “perfectly” and something will still go wrong – even through no fault of yours.
So you can either plan on earning enough to make it easier to save enough quickly enough for emergencies by living frugally on a generous six figure income or you can do as far too many naive and foolish adults do and gamble your own life and your family’s lives on the slim chance that you won’t experience a major financial catastrophe that pushes you into homelessness.
Most people live from paycheck to paycheck and risk becoming homeless in the process. Are you okay with doing the same? You shouldn’t be.
Way too many guys (and many young ladies) don’t realize that there are financial costs to almost every choice in life.
Do you think it’s okay to get an S.T.I.? Do you think it’s cool to experience the kind of pain when urinating that it feels like little pieces of broken glass, tiny shards are being forced out when you go to the bathroom because of a certain S.T.I. you got from someone else? Do you think it’s cool to inflict that pain on someone else by infecting them with your S.T.I. even though you stopped showing signs that you’re still infected?
Do you think it’s cool that all you have to do is get just one S.T.I. and the medical bills you’ll have to pay to handle the problem will be anywhere from $30 a month up to $500 a month.
Do you think it’s cool to get someone else sick and infected with what you got so that they have to pay that money for their own health care for the rest of their lives? Do you think it’s cool to be so poor that you have to make a choice each month between using money for food or using money for medical needs such as medications?
Not to be harsh but if your parents died tomorrow and left you no money at all then who would pay for the destructive consequences of your choices? If you moved out on your own tomorrow (or if your parents kicked you out) how would you earn the money to pay for your own safe housing, food, transportation and medical bills and everything else life requires for safety and prosperous progress?
Remember, I say all of this because I care for you a lot.
Working at a fast food restaurant will not earn you enough money to cover the most basic needs. Working at a grocery store as a bagger or cashier will not earn you enough. Anything less than $50 an hour will not come close to being enough to provide for your needs – that is if you’re actually going to be smart and think your career choice through based on factoring the emergency savings needs (or emergency preparedness) of most Americans.
It’s even important to know how to plant, nurture and harvest your own food (gardening) for whenever the day comes that, for a period of time, you must live on what you can produce.
Where am I getting all of this information? I checked out AlexOpalstone.com and read about “The Financial Math of Hope vs. Despair” that only AlexOpalstone.com has. It is a super cool website with amazing information. It talks about what people need to learn in order to earn enough and it has a list that shows some of the best careers to choose to make sure you’re earning enough to provide for a family.
Career choices like investing in real estate (such as a real estate developer, or commercial or residential investor), owning intellectual property rights (patents for inventions, licensing and even copyrights), being a bestselling author, investing in stocks or notes or bonds or being a successful business franchise owner are all ways to earn about a half a million dollars or more and that’s about the amount needed for Americans to earn if they don’t want to struggle from paycheck to paycheck but have enough to save enough and to really thrive financially.
We are likely to face a time within the next few years (likely within ten years at the most) where each of us will have to live on what we can produce on our own. This means each of us as Americans will need to have sufficient gardening skills, farming tools, land and resources to eat what we produce and live on what we produce in order to survive.
This will likely be related to the U.S. dollar collapsing (massive inflation) or other major stock and bond market turmoil so we’ll have to start over by learning some hard lessons about voting for the wrong people and misunderstanding vital principles behind the free market system, individual prosperity and individual liberty as Americans.
Then when we restore our indi
Here’s something else to consider about sex as a teen. Ask this to any guy that’s trying to talk you into having sex with him when you’re a teen.
If you are responsible for an unplanned teen pregnancy how expensive might that be for you?
New stroller
New baby crib & bed linens
Cradle swing
High chair
Baby feeding supplies
Baby clothing
Diapers, wipes, hygiene
Car seat
Breast pump & nursing pads
Baby food
Baby monitor
Diaper bag
The total cost for everything on that list can cost over $1,500 up front. Just the labor and delivery of the baby costs thousands of dollars more on top of all of the costs just to be ready to care for the baby at home. You don’t want the mother and baby to be homeless so now you’ve got to pay for housing, phone, utilities, transportation, food, clothing, internet etc.
Regular doctor’s appointments for the health of the mother as well as the baby’s health – that all costs more money several times a year. If your baby is born with any serious health challenges that require intensive treatment or surgeries then that can easily cost you an additional $100,000 or more plus lifelong medical care needs that only get more expensive over time.
And it’s really selfish when a guy or girl thinks that it’s okay to get pregnant as a teen because baby showers will just pay for supplies. Again, that’s really selfish.
More young men and young women need to understand that if they enter the experience of teen pregnancy with the idea that such a tragic mistake should be celebrated by making other people buy you gifts by a baby shower when they themselves are likely struggling financially then you set yourself up for serious problems.
It is the young ladies that believe the guy will stick around after the birth of the child to help her raise the baby together that are the same girls that are the most surprised when the reality hits because he leaves by dumping her and abandoning their baby as he proves the statistical fact that the vast majority of teen guys leave within the first two years after the baby is born if he doesn’t dump her sooner.
The father of the child almost always says that he loves you and will stick by you when he doesn’t know what he’s actually committing to. Once he sees it’s no fun after all and once he sees it’s expensive to start a family – the vast majority of guys run away from their responsibilities and dump the mother of their child.
Too often these guys get support from their parents to leave the girl to bear the burden of parenting alone because too many parents – even so-called Christian parents that “believe” people should face and share in responsibility for wrong choices made – are not strong enough to make the right choice.
What right choice? To consistently push their son to take responsibility or suffer facing serious negative consequences by his own parents if he doesn’t. Parents need to be strong enough to make the good choice, the honorable choice to consistently push their son to take the responsibility that is his and to marry her and/or otherwise provide financially for her and their child’s needs for the entire life of the child.
Yes, she has a right to sue under law the father of her child for child support that lasts for all of the years of her child’s life. So what is he going to do if she chooses to keep and raise the child that he fathered biologically?
When you bet your entire future that he will marry you and raise your child with you when that is so rare to occur among teen boys then you are essentially saying that you’re willing to become homeless on the almost guaranteed chance he will bail and leave you within less than one year of your giving birth. This happens so often that a great majority of people who become homeless in the United States are single mothers.
What’s it like to stay in a typical homeless shelter? It’s not safe. It’s not secure. You get kicked back out into the streets by the volunteers at the crack of dawn and they don’t let you back in until night time – unless they are full for the night and then you’ll have to sleep on the street or in your car and hope that you don’t become the victim of a violent crime out on the street.
And how about asking him if he’s prepared to save up money for your child’s education. Tell him that most parents don’t save up enough because they don’t earn enough. Tell him that if he wants to be the rare successful exception that all he has to do is set aside the entire amount needed up front within a few months of your infant’s birth and then be prepared to pay more later when he or she is old enough to start attending college.
How much would that be? He could set aside at least $45,000 up front once your baby is born and that might be a good start.
Any guy you date that wants to have sex with you is going to try his best to convince you that sex is fun. He’ll never discuss the possible consequences because he’s probably not thinking of them. He may talk someone into having sex with him but neither he nor the girl (or guy, as the case may be) will be in control of the consequences that follow from that choice.
Does it sound like fun to have consequences that might be a lifelong and potentially expensive S.T.I.? Does it sound fun to have consequences that might sound like a crying baby at 1:00 AM and again at 3:00 AM and again at 5:00 AM and on and on where you get far less sleep than you need or are used to?
Or maybe he thinks it’ll be fun to have consequences that could be a baby with a heart defect that forces you into medical bankruptcy before you even turn nineteen thus ruining your chances for becoming qualified for more debt help in the future?
Or it could be that he thinks it would be fun to have consequences where you end up homeless because not only did you choose to keep your child, but he chose to run away – literally run away to avoid legal actions that force him to pay you child support because if he can avoid being found by the police then he can keep more of his paycheck at whatever jobs he has for the rest of his life so he never has to struggle as much as you do financially. Sound like fun? Not to me.
And it shouldn’t sound like fun to you either.
Hollywood may have paid some teen moms to have a TV show or be on the cover of a magazine but Hollywood and the media (news) rarely emphasize with enough repetition the poverty that is the reality for over 90% of teen moms throughout the teen mom’s life. It’s hard for a teen mom TV star to be honest with other teens about financial struggles when she gets paid a lot of money to do a story about her “struggles”.
If you’re hoping that getting pregnant as a teen will win you a TV show and make you a star then you are literally betting your life and your child’s life that you won’t live a life of poverty when the fact is you’re nearly guaranteed to be poor. And to victimize someone innocent that way (your child) by forcing them to be born into a life of poverty is not only irresponsible and selfish but it’s also incredibly cruel to do to any child when it's preventable by more responsible choices towards common sense prosperity.
Children suffering in preventable poverty are children that are hungry. To feed any human sufficiently is to sustain life. When you can't feed your children and they're crying from hunger then you can't keep them alive. That's not good.
But if you want to know how Hollywood works, just see how these teen moms get rejected as “yesterday’s news” after 3-5 years of fame because most famous people rarely experience fame past the five year mark. Then those once famous “stars” are soon forgotten by the public and many of these stars go broke and have to do TV commercials or regular employment jus
Look. This may be one of the most down and sad love letters you’ve ever received before in your life but if I weren’t in love, if I didn’t have the biggest crush on you ever known to man, then I wouldn’t be trying to do my best to protect you from heartache by helping you recognize the lies that lead to it.
I know that most people consider long letters to be inappropriate but maybe this can be the exception to the rule because of the care that’s behind it and because these truths are important and can’t be effectively summed up by a mere few paragraphs.
So in closing, be careful if you’re dating someone that tries to talk you into getting gonorrhea of the throat while potentially choking you to where you can’t breathe because he thinks it’s fun (only for him) to talk you into giving him oral sex.
Be careful if he thinks he can convince you that he’ll “pull out early” to keep you from getting pregnant because no guy I know has the selfless willpower to stop and pull out before getting a girl pregnant.
Ultimately, any guy that really loves you and cares about what happens to any children you create together will want to marry you before having sex.
Think about it. Stump him before he tricks you into a life of misery or talk to him frankly about the financial facts of life that he probably hasn’t considered yet if you really like him too.
Or if you really love a guy that won't show you proper respect, love him enough to leave him. It's not “real” love to let someone think it's okay to abuse someone (serious disrespect) by staying with them when they refuse to change for the better.