Making Up with Mr. Dog by Albert Bigelow Paine
MR. RABBIT'S UNWELCOME COMPANY
MR. POLECAT MAKES A MORNING CALL AND MR. DOG DROPS IN
I THINK I shall have to tell you about Mr. Polecat, said the StoryTeller, and about his visit to Mr. Rabbit.
"Who's Mr. Polecat?" said the Little Lady. "You never told me about himbefore."
Well, no, because you see Mr. Polecat is so queer in some of his waysthat people even don't talk about him a great deal. He is really quite anice gentleman, though, when he doesn't get excited. But when he does heloses friends.
The trouble is with the sort of perfumery he uses when he gets excited,just as some people use a smelling-bottle, and nobody seems to like thesort Mr. Polecat uses except himself. I suppose he must like it or hewouldn't be so free with it. But other people go away when he usesit--mostly in the direction the wind's blowing from--and in a hurry, asif they were afraid they'd miss a train. Even Mr. Dog doesn't stop toargue with Mr. Polecat. Nobody does, and all the other Deep Woods peopledo their best to make him happy and to keep him in a good humor wheneverhe comes about, and give him their nicest things to eat and a lot tocarry home with him, so he'll start just as soon as possible.
But, more than anything, they try to keep him from saying anything aboutMr. Dog, or hinting or even thinking about Mr. Dog, for when he does anyof these things he's apt to get excited, and then sometimes he opens upthat perfume of his, and his friends fall over each other to get out ofreach. They're never very happy to see him coming, and they're alwaysglad to see him go, even when he's had a quiet visit and goes prettysoon, which is just what didn't happen one time when he came to call onJack Rabbit, and it's that time I'm going to tell about. This was beforeMr. Dog made up with the Hollow Tree people; I don't know exactly howlong before, but a good while.
Mr. Rabbit looked out his door one morning and there was Mr. Polecat,all dressed up, coming to see him. He wasn't very far off, either, andMr. Rabbit hardly had time to jerk down a crayon picture of Mr. Dog thathe'd made the day before, just for practice. He pushed it under the bedquick, and when Mr. Polecat came up he bowed and smiled, and said what anice day it was, and that he'd bring a chair outside if Mr. Polecatwould like to sit there instead of coming in where it wasn't sopleasant.
But Mr. Polecat said he guessed he'd come in, as it was a little chillyand he didn't feel very well anyway. So he came inside, and Jack Rabbitgave him his best chair and brought out a little table and put a lot ofnice things on it that Mr. Polecat likes, and began right away to pack abasket for him to take home.
But Mr. Polecat didn't seem to be in any hurry to go. He ate some of thenice things, and then leaned back to talk and smoke, and told Mr. Rabbitall the news he'd heard as he came along, and Mr. Rabbit got more andmore worried, for he knew that just as likely as not Mr. Polecat hadheard something about Mr. Dog and would begin to tell it pretty soon,and then no knowing what would happen. So Jack Rabbit just said "Yes"and "No" and began to talk about Mr. Robin, because Mr. Robin was a goodfriend of everybody and nobody could get excited just talking about Mr.Robin. But Mr. Polecat says:--
"Oh, yes, I saw Mr. Robin as I came along, and he called to me that Mr.Dog--"
And then Jack Rabbit changed the subject as quick as he could and spokeabout Mr. Squirrel, and Mr. Polecat says:--
"Oh, did you hear how Mr. Squirrel went over to Mr. Man's house and sawMr. Dog there--"
And then poor Mr. Rabbit had to think quick and change the subject againto the Hollow Tree people, and Mr. Polecat said:--
"Oh, yes. I stopped by that way as I came along, and they called out tome from up stairs how you were practising drawing, and that you gave Mr.Dog some dancing lessons the other day, and then made a fine picture ofhim just as he looked when he danced into the hot coals, so I hurriedright over here for just to see that picture."
Poor Mr. Rabbit! He didn't know what to do. He knew right away that theHollow Tree people had told about the picture to get rid of Mr. Polecat,and he made up his mind that he'd get even with them some day forgetting him in such a fix. But some day was a long ways off and Mr.Polecat was right there under his nose, so Mr. Rabbit said, just asquick as he could say it, that the Hollow Tree people were alwaysmaking jokes, and that the picture was just as poor as it could be, andthat he'd be ashamed to show it to anybody, much more to a talentedgentleman like Mr. Polecat. But that made Mr. Polecat all the moreanxious to see it, for he was sure Mr. Rabbit was only modest, andpretty soon he happened to spy the edge of the picture frame under Mr.Rabbit's bed, and just reached under and pulled it out, before Mr.Rabbit could help himself.
Well, he picked up that picture and looked at it a minute, and JackRabbit began to back off toward the door and say a few soothing words,when all at once Mr. Polecat leaned back and commenced to laugh andlaugh at the funny picture Mr. Dog made where Mr. Rabbit called to him,"Dance! Mr. Dog; dance!" And then, of course, Mr. Rabbit felt better,for if his company thought it was funny and laughed there wasn't so muchdanger.
"Why," said Mr. Polecat, "it's the best thing I ever saw! You couldalmost imagine that Mr. Dog himself was right here, howling and barkingand dancing."
"Oh, no, hardly that," said Mr. Rabbit. "Of course I suppose it is alittle like him, but it's not at all as if he were here, you know--notat all--and he's ever so far off, I'm sure, and won't come again for along time. You know, he's--"
"Oh, yes, it is!" declared Mr. Polecat. "It's just as if he were righthere. And I can just hear him howl and bark, and--"
And right there Mr. Polecat stopped and Mr. Rabbit stopped, and both ofthem held their breath and listened, for sure enough they did hear Mr.Dog howling and barking and coming toward the house as straight as hecould come.
Jack Rabbit gave a jump right up in the air, and hollered, "Run! Mr.Polecat, run! and go the back way!" But Mr. Polecat never runs fromanybody--he doesn't have to--he just opens up that perfume of his andthe other people do the running. So Mr. Rabbit gave one more jump, andthis time he jumped straight up the chimney, and didn't stop till hegot to the roof, where he found a loose board and put it over thechimney quick and sat down on it. Then he called to Mr. Dog, who wascoming lickety split through the woods:--
"Why, how are you, Mr. Dog? Glad to see you! Walk right in. There'scompany down stairs; just make yourself at home till I come down." Yousee there was no use to stop him now, because Mr. Rabbit could tell bywhat was coming up the chimney that it was too late, and he wanted Mr.Dog to get a good dose of it as well as himself.
And Mr. Dog did come just as hard as he could tear, for the wind wasblowing toward the house and he couldn't detect anything wrong until hegave a great big jump into Mr. Rabbit's sitting room and right into themidst of the most awful smell that was ever turned loose in the Big DeepWoods.
Well, it took Mr. Dog so suddenly that he almost fainted away. Then hegave a howl, as if a wagon had run over his tail, and tumbled out ofthat sitting room and set out for home without once stopping to lookbehind him. Then Mr. Rabbit laughed and laughed, and called:--
"Come back, Mr. Dog! Come back and stay with us. Mr. Polecat's going tospend a week with me. Come back and have a good time."
But Mr. Dog didn't stop, and he didn't seem to hear, and by and by Mr.Polecat called up that he was going home and that Mr. Rabbit could comedown now, for Mr. Dog was gone and wouldn't come back, he guessed. ButMr. Rabbit said no, he didn't feel very well yet, and guessed he'd staywhere he was for the present, and that if Mr. Polecat was going he mightleave both doors open and let the wind draw through the house, becausehe always liked to air his house after Mr. Dog had been to see him. ThenMr. Polecat took his basket and went, and Jack Rabbit didn't come downfor a long time, and when he did he couldn't stay in his house for theawful smell. So he went over to stay a week with the Hollow Tree people,and his clothes didn't smell nice, either, but they had to stand it, andMr. Rabbit said it served them right for getting him into such a fix. Itwas over a week before he could go back to his house again, and eventhen it wasn't just as he wanted it to be, and h
But there was one thing that made him laugh, and that was when he heardfrom Mr. Robin how Mr. Dog got home and Mr. Man wouldn't have him aboutthe house or even in the yard, but made him stay out in the woods for asmuch as ten days, until he had got rid of every bit of Mr. Polecat'snice perfumery.