Matthew's Story: From Sinner to Saint by Tim LaHaye
Jesus fell silent, and as Matthew sat there with his brother, he whispered, “Does not the Master seem weary?”
James nodded. “I fear His demise is nigh. All this talk of the end.”
“Sometimes,” Matthew said, “I wish I were more like Peter or the brothers Zebedee. No wonder the Lord has called them the ‘Sons of Thunder.’ In righteous anger I want to strike out against Jesus’ enemies and thwart whatever plan they have for Him. But I more fear hindering the will of God.”
James smiled sadly. “Rest assured, brother, we are powerless to do that.”
And Jesus continued: “As the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. Immediately after the tribulation of those days, the sun will be darkened and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven and all the tribes of the earth will mourn as they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. He will send His angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away.”
Peter, sounding exasperated, said, “But when, Lord, when? How long?”
“Of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. In the days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day Noah entered the ark and the flood came and took them all away. So also will the coming of the Son of Man be.
“Two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left. Watch, therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming. Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.
“When the Son of Man comes in His glory and all the holy angels with Him, He will sit on the throne of His glory. All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. He will set the sheep on His right hand and the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’
“Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’
“And the King will answer, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’
“Then He will say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.’
“Then they will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’
“And He will say, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’
“And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
WHEN JESUS FINISHED His discourse about the future, Matthew wished he had time to reread everything he had written. But now the Master turned His disciples’ attention to the near future, and Matthew wanted to make sure he captured all of it.
“You know,” Jesus said, “that after two days is the Passover, and the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified.”
“Lord,” Peter said, “forgive me, but we don’t want to hear this.”
“The will of My Father must be done. Even now the chief priests, the scribes, and the elders of the people are assembled at the palace of the high priest, Caiaphas, and are plotting to take Me by trickery and kill Me. They will put it off until after the feast, lest there be an uproar among the people.”
TWENTY-FIVE
On the first day of the Feast of the Unleavened Bread, the disciples asked Jesus where He wanted them to prepare for Him to eat the Passover meal. He sent them into Jerusalem to a house where they were to say that “the Teacher says, ‘My time is at hand; I will keep the Passover at your house with My disciples.’”
They were provided a room atop the house of a widow named Mary and her teen son, Mark. When evening had come, Jesus sat down with the twelve. As they were eating, He said, “Assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray Me.”
Matthew could barely breathe. Surely he would not betray his Master. He said, “Lord, is it I?”
And the others, also looking sorrowful, began to say to Him, “Lord, is it I?”
Jesus said, “He who dipped his hand with Me in the dish will betray Me. The Son of Man indeed goes just as it is written of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born.”
Matthew and the others stared at Judas Iscariot who had dipped his bread into the bowl at the same time as Jesus. Judas said, “Rabbi, is it I?”
Jesus said, “You have said it.”
Judas ran out, and Matthew knew the others were as shocked as he. For several minutes no one spoke.
Then, as they were eating, Jesus took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to the disciples and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.” Then He took the cup and gave thanks and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. For this is My blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.”
He led them in the singing of a hymn, but to Matthew it sounded like a funeral dirge. His friends had pale, vacant looks. When Jesus rose and made His way down the stairs and out of the city toward the Mount of Olives, they followed, somber and quiet.
Jesus said, “All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night, for it is written: ‘I will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’”
Matthew did not want to believe it of himself. Could he not stand with His Lord after all this time?
“But after I have been raised,” Jesus said, “I will go before you to Galilee.”
Peter stopped in the path and shook his head, saying, “Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble.”
“Oh, Peter,” Jesus said. “Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.”
“No! Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!”
“Nor will I!” Matthew said.
And so said all the others.
Jesus led them to the Garden of Gethsemane, where He told Matthew and seven of the others to wait for Him while He took with Him Peter and James and John and went to pray. After a short while Matthew and the others heard Him chastising the three for falling asleep while He was praying. Twice more this happened, and it struck Matthew that the Lord sounded most disappointed and weary.
“My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” He fell on His face, and prayed, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”
Finally Jesus came to His disciples and said, “Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. See, My betrayer is at hand.”
There stood Judas with a great multitude of men carrying swords and clubs. He moved from among them and approached Je
Jesus said sadly, “Friend, why have you come?”
But before Judas could respond, the others rushed Jesus and seized him. Peter drew a sword and lunged at a servant of the high priest, slicing off his ear.
“Put your sword in its place,” Jesus said, immediately healing the man. “For all who take the sword will perish by the sword. Do you not think I could pray right now to My Father and He would provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels? But how, then, could the Scriptures be fulfilled?”
As the mob began to pull at Jesus, He said, “Have you come out as against a robber with swords and clubs to take Me? I sat daily with you, teaching in the temple, and you did not seize Me.”
In that instant Matthew felt paralyzed with fear. In his mind he was transported to childhood when the king’s men had thundered up to his house and slaughtered his baby brother. He hated this, didn’t want it, wanted to be brave like Peter and take on any and all who threatened his Master.
But the crowd was raucous and threatening, and as they shouted and cursed and surged around Jesus, Matthew saw some of his friends flee. It couldn’t be! Suddenly the mob turned on Matthew.
“Are you one of His?” a soldier demanded.
Matthew couldn’t speak. He shuddered at the thought that if he had been able, he would have denied it, denied Him. Horrified at himself, Matthew saw other soldiers coming his way. Even Peter was in full flight, and Matthew turned and ran.
He sprinted until he could barely breathe, stealing away into the darkness of the garden, as far as he could from the danger. And from the Lord. He fell to his knees, sobbing. Matthew could not even pray.
Where was James? Peter? John? Any of them? Did no one have the courage to stand with the Man they knew to be the Son of God? Matthew could not imagine ever forgiving himself. Judas had betrayed Jesus. Peter was to deny Him. Matthew was no better.
Where could he go? Back to the upper room? What would he say? What could he do?
In the distance by the light of torches the crowd led Jesus back into the city. Matthew had never felt so devastated and alone, even during all his years as a bitter tax collector. With no destination, he followed the procession from afar.
Matthew was startled at a shaky voice from behind a tree. “They’re taking Him to the high priest.”
“Peter!”
“I’m so ashamed!”
“But you stood up to them! You—”
“Not for long. And I was chastised even for that. Jesus told us this night was coming and that He must do the will of His Father. But no, I knew better. I was going to make all things right.”
“I too ran, my friend. We all did.”
“It’s not too late, Matthew. He must not be left alone. Come.” Matthew followed Peter at a brisk pace until they nearly caught the crowd. The boisterous men forced Jesus inside the gate of Caiaphas’s home and Matthew found himself separated from Peter, six or seven rows of onlookers from where the fisherman stood at the fence near a charcoal fire. When the gate opened Matthew could see that Peter was swept in with some of the servants, and he could see past him to where the scribes and elders had gathered.
The gate closed again, but the crowd pressed against it, Matthew in their midst. He had lost sight of Peter but knew he had to be nearby. The council was hearing testimony against Jesus, and Matthew wanted to cry out at the injustice of it when a false witness took Jesus’ words out of context and said, “This fellow said, ‘I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.’”
From outside Matthew saw Caiaphas rise and thunder, “Do You answer nothing? What is it this man testifies against You?”
But Jesus did not answer.
The high priest shouted, “I put You under oath by the living God: Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!”
Matthew heard Jesus’ soft reply: “It is as you said. Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven.”
With that Caiaphas tore his clothes and railed, “He has spoken blasphemy! What further need do we have of witnesses? Look, now you have heard His blasphemy! What do you think?”
The council responded, “He is deserving of death.”
As Matthew maneuvered for position, tears streaming down his cheeks, members of the council spat in Jesus’ face and beat Him with rods, and others struck Him with their hands, saying, “Prophesy to us, Christ! Who is the one who struck You?”
Matthew caught sight of Peter just beyond him in the courtyard. A servant girl came to him and said, “You also were with Jesus of Galilee.”
Peter said loudly, “I do not know what you are saying!” And he stood to leave.
But as he reached the gateway, not far from where Matthew stood, another girl saw him and said, “This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth.”
Peter swore and said, “I do not know the Man!”
As he hurried through the gate and past Matthew, looking like a crazy person, a man said, “Surely you are one of them, for your speech betrays you. You are a Galilean too!”
Again Peter cursed and swore, saying, “I do not know the Man!”
And immediately a rooster crowed.
Peter was on the run now, sobbing loudly, and Matthew lit out after him and overtook him, grabbing his shoulder. “God forgive me, Peter, I would have done the same!”
But Peter shook him off, fell to the ground, and wept bitterly.
What manner of men are we? Matthew wondered.
EVENTUALLY PETER ROSE and he and Matthew trudged back to the garden, where they started a small fire and sat silent and dejected. Soon Matthew’s brother and Thomas found them, sitting and shaking their heads.
“I abandoned my Lord,” James said pitifully. “I am not worthy to live.”
“We all did,” Peter said. “We are most miserable.”
About an hour later John crept out of the darkness. “I saw your fire,” he said, his voice quavering. “The others are afar off over the ridge. We are all lamenting our cowardice.”
“Go and bring them,” Peter said, “and we will plot together what we might do now.”
“It is no excuse and nothing can make me feel better,” Matthew’s brother said, “but thus it was prophesied that the Son of Man would be left alone by those closest to Him.”
“You’re right,” Peter said. “It does not help. We have sinned egregiously against our Lord. We must resolve to stand with Him now until the end. Some of you who are not known to the multitude must get close enough to determine where they are taking Him.”
“I will go,” Matthew said, and a few others also volunteered.
“You are known, Matthew,” Peter said. “I saw the soldiers confront you at His capture.”
“I no longer care,” Matthew said. “My life is worth nothing to me now.”
“Very well,” Peter said. “You and your brother and Thomas go in the morning then, and bring us word.”
TWENTY-SIX
Matthew and the others spent a fitful night back at the home of Mary and her son. It seemed no one slept much, worried as they were about Jesus and humiliated at their own cowardice. Matthew woke before dawn, bathed in a frigid nearby stream, and set out early for the middle of the city with his brother and Thomas. There they learned that the chief priests and elders of the people had plotted against Jesus to put Him to death. Word was that they had bound Him and led Him away to deliver Him to Pontius Pilate, the governor.
As they headed toward the governor’s estate, Thomas said he thought he had heard someone say something about Judas, so he left the brothers and ran to see what he could learn. He soon returned to them.
“Rumor has it that Judas brought back some thirty pieces of silver the chief priests and elders had paid him for identifying Jesus, saying, ‘I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.’
“They said, ‘What is that to us?’ Then he th
“How awful,” James said, stopping to gather himself. “I confess there were times in the night last night that I was tempted to do harm to myself.”
“Me, too,” Matthew said. “I never would have connived to betray my Lord, but I feel little better after having deserted Him. We must show our repentance with boldness now.”
Thomas said, “People are saying the elders would not put the tainted money in their treasury, so they are going to buy a field with it where they can bury strangers.”
“That was prophesied, Matthew,” James said. “Remember? Jeremiah wrote, ‘And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the value of Him who was priced, and gave them for the potter’s field . . . ’”
WHEN THE TRIO ARRIVED at Pilate’s palace and watched from the back of the crowd, Jesus was already standing before the governor.
Pilate said, “Are You the King of the Jews?”
Jesus said, “It is as you say.”
The chief priests and elders came forward, leveling all sorts of charges, including blasphemy, sedition, conspiracy to overthrow the government, and violating the Sabbath.
When Jesus did not respond, Pilate said, “Do you not hear how many things they testify against You?”
Jesus answered not one word, and Matthew thought Pilate looked amazed. The governor shook his head and addressed the crowd. “You know it has been my tradition during the feast to release to you one prisoner, whomever you wish! This Jesus gives us an option along with Barabbas, who, as you know, has been with us a long time. Whom do you want me to release to you? Barabbas, or this Jesus who is called Christ?”
For a moment Matthew allowed himself a flash of hope. Was it possible? Might the crowd ask for Jesus? If they did, he could tell by the resolute looks on the faces of his brother and Thomas that they would never again allow anyone to harm the Lord. They would rush the crowd, the soldiers, the centurions, the governor’s staff, anyone. They would deliver Jesus from this mob or die trying.