Music of the Heart by Katie Ashley
He cocked his brows at me. “Even on the floor of a hotel room?”
“If it means being with you, then yes. And even with your dirty talking mouth.”
He groaned. Once he pulled off my pants, he kissed a moist trail from my bent knee down across my thigh. His mouth momentarily brushed against my center over my panties before he kissed a trail up the opposite thigh. “Jake,” I pleaded.
“Shh,” he murmured. His fingertips lazily traced the waistband of my panties. I chewed on my bottom lip until he finally gripped the fabric and slid them off. As he gazed down at me, I suddenly felt very exposed, so I clamped my knees together.
Jake shook his head. “Let me see you, beautiful,” he urged, nudging my knees apart. This time he didn’t do any more teasing kisses along my thighs. Instead, his mouth sought out my center as he placed a tender kiss on me. I sucked in a breath while Jake blew warm air across my already inflamed core. Closing my eyes, I murmured, “Jake…”
When his tongue flicked across my folds, I cried out. Jake then began alternating between sucking and licking me. Warmth flooded my cheeks and seemed to ricochet over my entire body. It felt like I was consumed by fire. A sheen of sweat broke out along my skin as I rocked my hips against Jake’s mouth. I gripped his hair as he slipped two fingers inside me and swirled them around. Then he began to move them in and out of me while still licking and sucking my clit with his tongue. My whimpers and harsh pants filled the room before I finally tensed and went over the edge again. “Jake!” I cried as I thrust my hips up one final time.
From between my thighs, he grinned up at me. I threw my head back and closed my eyes. “Wow…”
He chuckled as he moved his body to cover mine. “That’s all you can say is wow?”
I cupped his face in my hands. “It was that good that you rendered me speechless, okay?”
“Mmm, I like the sound of that.”
As he lay across me, I felt the hardened bulge in his jeans. While he’d gotten me off twice, he was still in need of attention. My eyes met his as I cupped him over his jeans. When he raised his brows questioningly at me, I bobbed my head. “Show me what to do.”
Without protesting, Jake unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He lifted his hips and eased his jeans down to knees. My eyes immediately honed in on his erection. Taking my hand in his, he wrapped my fingers around his considerable length. Then he covered my hand with his. Slowly, he worked our hands up and down.
“Like that?”
“Yeah…but you speed it up too,” he murmured in a shaky breath.
When I started working my hand over him faster, he gasped. “Oh God, Angel. That’s good.” My lips met his in a frenzied, hungry kiss. I liked that what I was doing caused him to groan. He raised his hips in time with my long strokes. “Fuck yes,” he murmured before his body started to shudder as he came. Hot, sticky liquid spurted into my hand and onto Jake’s stomach.
“Um, what do I—?”
With a chuckle, Jake pulled himself to his feet and went over to grab some napkins in the kitchen. He then wiped my hands clean and his stomach. He then kissed both of my cheeks and my forehead before returning to my lips. “Hmm, Angel, that was good,” he murmured against them.
To my disappointment, Jake tore his lips from mine to grope in the pile of clothes beside us. He grinned up at me as he slid my panties back on and then he did my yoga pants. “Thanks.”
His expression grew serious. “I should be the one thanking you for letting me be the first to make you come.”
I exhaled a ragged breath. “I think if we keep going like this, I’m going to want you to be the first in a lot more ways.”
When he got my meaning, he groaned before bringing his lips back to mine. Our mouths were waging war on each other when a tiny voice called, “Aunt Abby?”
I jerked my mouth from Jake’s and scrambled away from him. Whirling around, I took in Jude’s tiny form in the bedroom door. “Y-Yeah, sweetheart?”
He sniffled. “I had a scary dream. Will you come to bed with me?”
“Of course I will. Just give me one second.” Smoothing down my ruffled hair, I hopped up, leaving Jake alone on the floor.
Jude held his arms up, and I hoisted him up onto my hip. He buried his head in my neck before he started crying. “Shh, it’s okay. It was just a bad dream. It’s over now, and I’m here with you.”
I laid him down on the bed and then curled in beside him. He snuggled up to me, still snubbing back his tears. “Want me to sing again?”
“Pwease,” he whimpered.
After I sang several verses, Jude was fast asleep again. Pulling away from him, I checked on Melody before heading to the door. When I opened it, I froze. Jake was nowhere to be seen. I flipped on the light and peered around the room.
He had left.
I hurried over to the table where my phone was. Sliding my thumb across the screen, I checked for any missed texts or calls.
There were none.
My throat constricted as I fought back the tears. Why would he just leave me? Had he gotten what he wanted and bailed? I shuddered as the used feeling washed over me.
Against my better judgment, I texted a quick Where r u?
After a couple of minutes, I typed Jake?
Pacing around the suite I waited for his response, but it didn’t come. Defeated, I slunk back into the bedroom and crawled into the bed. This time it was me snuggling against Jude for comfort as the tears streamed silently down my cheeks.
***
I was a bastard—a complete and total douchebag for bailing on Abby. I realized that the moment I let the suite door close behind me. Then the feeling persisted as I entered my room and slipped out of my clothes. Butt ass naked, I fell into bed and buried my face in the pillow.
The first reason I left was because Jude appearing freaked the hell out of me. I didn’t know how much he had seen, and I didn’t want Bray kicking my ass for scarring his kid because Abby was taking care of my needs and getting me off. But then I came to realize that the main reason I had bailed was because I was scared.
Yeah, I didn’t know how to deal with all I was feeling for Abby. I knew I loved her at the studio and then when I meshed that with the sexual part, I was fucking floored and obliterated emotionally. So I did the only thing scared men do.
I ran.
And I felt like an even bigger jackass, especially when I got her questioning texts. I mean, I should have texted her right back and lied by claiming I was fine or that I was tired. But no, I was an even bigger asshole because not only did I not reply, but I turned my fucking phone off because I didn’t know what the hell to say to her.
And although I was mentally and physically exhausted, sleep evaded me. At two am, I pulled my ass out of the bed and started pacing around the room. Out-of-control thoughts whirled through my mind so fast I staggered on my feet.
There was no more denial. I was truly head over fucking heels in love with Abby.
But deep down, I knew the root of my problem with Abby. I was in love with a girl who was way too good for me. Abby had such a giving heart and a pure, inner beauty that I didn’t deserve to taint or destroy. We’d only known each other for three weeks, and I’d already hurt her too many times with my stupidity. Knowing me, I would continue hurting her over and over again. So maybe I should walk away from her. Wouldn’t it be better for her in the long run? I could never give her all she deserved. She wanted the fairy tale of a happily-ever-after with a husband and kids, and I didn’t know shit about any of that.
Raking my hand through my hair, I thought about going to her in the morning and telling her that whatever we had was over. But just the image of walking away from her caused a searing pain to radiate through my chest, and I had to fight to breathe.
No, I couldn’t walk away from her, not when I loved her. I’d never loved a girl as much, and I couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone more. I wanted to see where this crazy thing we had started took us. I wanted to claim her as m
And then the thought hit me that maybe I’d already screwed up too much and lost her. That’s when the walls began to close in around me. I threw on my clothes and headed out the door. Staring at the suite door across from me, I lightly wrapped on the door. “Abby?” I called.
I knew she probably couldn’t hear me if she was in the bedroom with the kids, but I was silently hoping that maybe Melody had woken up for a bottle or some shit that babies did. I banged a little louder, but there was still no response. Taking my phone from my pocket, I powered it on. I then sent a barrage of text messages telling her how sorry I was and what a dick I’d been.
My final text read Angel: I’m right outside the door ready to beg and plead for your forgiveness. If it takes getting down on my knees in a fucking hotel hallway, I will. That’s how sorry I am and how much you mean to me.
Every single one remained unread and unanswered.
Huffing with agitation, I headed down the hall to the elevators. I needed some time to clear my head, and there was no better place than the streets of my second home to do it. I walked a couple of blocks, taking in the sights and sounds. Atlanta was no New York when it came to never sleeping or its crowds, so I didn’t have to worry about running into a lot of people who might recognize me.
But no matter how far I walked, peace of mind never came. Finally when I backtracked to the hotel, it was almost five. I knew the moment it wasn’t an ungodly hour, I would go to Abby and beg her forgiveness.
I collapsed onto the bed and made the mistake of checking my phone. Every single one of my texts had been read, but there was no response. Tears stung my eyes, causing me to feel like an absolute and total pussy. After exhausting myself with crying, I fell into a restless sleep, and when the first rays of amber sunlight began streaking through the blinds, I woke up.
Checking my phone, I saw there was still no response from Abby. With a ragged sigh, I rose out of bed. While I grabbed a quick shower, I rehearsed in my mind exactly what I was going to say to Abby. I knew some epic groveling was going to be in order for what I had done, and since my mouth usually ruined most moments between us, I wanted to be prepared. I’d just climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist when I heard a knock at the door.
My heart surged at the thought that my angel had come to me. I threw open the door. “Angel, I—”
But it wasn’t Abby. Instead, Bree stood there with a cat-like smile spread across her lips. “Hey baby!”
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
A funny look flickered across her face. “I’m here for you of course. Don’t I always come along to the shows to take care of my man’s needs?” Her eyes trailed down my half naked frame. “Damn, you’re looking good enough to eat this morning.”
When she started to kiss me, I jerked back. “Look, Bree, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing between you and me anymore.”
The color slowly drained from her face as she trembled. “You’re with someone else, aren’t you?”
“Yes, but—”
Her eyes narrowed. “It's that little goody two-shoes whose name you called out when we were screwing, isn't it?”
I ran my hands through my wet hair. “Yeah, it is. So you really need to go.”
Bree’s tough-as-nails veneer faded a little as she reached out for me. “Please don’t do this, Jake. We’ve been together a long, long time.”
“We’ve been having sex a long time, but there was nothing else between us.”
“That’s not true!” she countered.
“Yes, it is.”
Before I could stop her, she threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and clinging to my body. And because the universe loved to fuck with me, it was at that precise moment that the suite door across the hall opened, and Abby and Lily stepped out.
At the sight of me entangled in Bree’s arms, Abby’s eyes bulged in shock while her hand flew to her mouth. “Wait, no, this isn’t what it looks like!” I argued.
Instead of letting me go, Bree curved herself tighter against me. Abby gave a slight shake of her head before starting down the hallway.
“Abby!” I cried. Trying to control my anger, I pried Bree off of me. “Get out of here right now before I have you thrown out!” I spat.
“Please don’t do this Jake!”
I sprinted after Abby. I finally caught up with her at the elevators. “Angel, please listen to me. There was nothing happening with Bree. I swear on my life and my mother’s life.”
Abby shook her head so fast I feared she might get whiplash. “I can’t do this anymore, Jake. I can’t keep being yanked back and forth by your emotional immaturity. One minute you’re bailing on me and making me feel used and dirty and then the next I find your ex-flame all over you. It’s too much.”
“But this morning is not what you think! Bree came to see me, and when I told her things were over between us, she lunged at me.” At the disbelief that still hung in Abby’s eyes, I growled in frustration. “Would you think about what you really saw for a minute? Bree was desperately clinging to me, not the other way around. I wasn’t even touching her.”
The elevator doors dinged open, and she hopped on. “Please, Angel. You read my texts. You know how fucking sorry I am.”
Tears shimmered in her blue eyes. “Yeah, well, sometimes sorry just isn’t enough.”
“Don’t do this!” I pleaded.
She held my gaze until the doors closed. “Fuck!” I cried smacking my palm on the elevator door. A man passing by me tried to hide his amusement at my precarious situation. After all I was out in the hallway in only a towel.
When I stalked back down to my room, Bree was gone. Once I slammed the door, I grabbed my phone. I knew I had to call the other woman I loved for advice. She answered on the second ring. “Mama…”
“Jacob, what’s wrong?”
“I’m in love, but I’ve fucked it all up.”
She didn’t even bother chiding me about my language. “Oh honey, tell me what happened.” I then filled her in on every possible detail. “If you love Abby like you claim to, then you have to keep fighting for her. You can’t give up.”
“What can I do to make her talk to me?”
“You need to do something sweet for her to prove how much you care.”
“But what?”
Mama chuckled. “Honey, I can’t tell you that. You have to figure that out for yourself. It has to be from your heart—not mine.”
“Thanks a lot,” I grumbled.
“All I can tell you to do is fight for her. Don’t give up until you’ve convinced her to talk to you.”
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
“Good luck, sweetie.”
“Thanks.”
Once I hung up with Mama, I paced around the room, trying to think of some grand gestures. Finally I called a local florist and spent a small fortune on every rose they had in the store. Even though it was mortifying as hell, I rattled on for several minutes about what to write on the card. The guys were texting me about breakfast, so I reluctantly threw on some clothes. I headed downstairs to the hotel dining room where they were waiting on me. When I flopped into my chair, AJ glanced around the table. “Where’s Abby?”
Brayden chuckled before winking at Lily. “Don’t tell me she needs a day to recuperate from watching our little monsters?”
After shifting Melody on her hip, Lily shot me a disgusted look. “No, everything went fine with the kids.”
Braydon’s brow creased. “Then where is she?”
“Why don’t you ask Mr. Asshole over there?” Lily snapped.
“Mommy said a bad word!” Jude exclaimed from his perch on Rhys’s lap.
“Um, why don’t you and I go throw some more pennies in that fountain, huh?” Rhys suggested. As he brushed past me, Rhys whispered, “But I better get the whole damn story when I get back!??
Once Jude was out of earshot, every pair of eyes at the table burned into me. “Okay, so I fucked up pretty bad.”
Brayden’s brows furrowed in worry. “Maybe you should start from the beginning.”
I jerked my hand through my hair and drew in a ragged breath. “Look, last night, Abby and I got a little carried away.”
A strangled noise came from the back of Brayden’s throat. “Please tell me my son didn’t see you guys doing anything?”
“God no! We were done by the time he woke up from his nightmare and came looking for Abby.”
Brayden pinched the bridge above his nose. “Would you please explain exactly what happened?”
I squirmed in my seat. “After Abby put the kids to bed, we fooled around a little. When we were done, Jude woke up and wanted Abby. I was embarrassed by him almost catching us, so I bailed. And then I didn’t text her to check on her.”
“Once again, you’re an asshole!” Lily exclaimed.
“Babe, please,” Brayden protested.
“Don’t tell me you’re defending him?”
Brayden shook his head wildly back and forth. “Of course not. What he did was completely and totally uncalled for. He made Abby feel cheap and used!”
I cringed. “I realize that now.”
“You’re such an idiot!” Lily replied.
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m new to all this relationship stuff. It was a guarantee I was going to screw up.”
Lily huffed exasperatedly. “Now tell them what else happened.”
AJ’s dark eyes widened in disbelief. “There’s more?”
“Unfortunately yes.” I then explained about Bree showing up and Abby seeing her hugging me.
“Christ almighty, Jake, you sure have a gift for screwing up,” Brayden mused.
“Tell me about,” I mumbled miserably.
“You gotta make it right, dude,” AJ said.
“I’ve tried. Hell, I just spent a fucking fortune having dozens upon dozens of roses sent to her. She still won’t talk to me.”
Scratching his chin, AJ replied, “Okay, so it’s gotta be something a little more epic than just flowers.” He glanced over at Lily. “You’re a chick. What should he do?”