Once a Week by A. A. Milne
DISAPPOINTMENT
My young friend Bobby (now in the early thirteens) has been making hisplans for the Christmas holidays. He communicated them to me in a letterfrom school:--
"I am going to write an opera in the holidays with a boy called Short, avery great and confident friend of mine here. I am doing the words andShort is doing the music. We have already got the title; it is called'Disappointment.'"
Last week, on his return to town, he came to see me at my club, and whenthe waiter had brought in drinks, and Bobby had refused a cigar, Ilighted up and prepared to talk shop. His recent discovery that I writetoo leads him to treat me with more respect than formerly.
"Now then," I said, "tell me about it. How's it going on?"
"Oo, I haven't done much yet," said Bobby. "But I've got the plot."
"Let's have it."
Bobby unfolded it rapidly.
"Well, you see, there's a chap called Tommy--he's the hero--and he'sjust come back from Oxford, and he's awfully good-looking and decent andall that, and he's in love with Felicia, you see, and there's anotherchap called Reynolds, and, you see, Felicia's really the same asPhyllis, who's going to marry Samuel, and that's the disappointment,because Tommy wants to marry her, you see."
"I see. That ought to be all right. You could almost get two operas outof that."
"Oo, do you think so?"
"Well, it depends how much Reynolds comes in. You didn't tell me whathappened to him. Does he marry anybody?"
"Oo, no. He comes in because I want somebody to tell the audience aboutTommy when Tommy isn't there."
(How well Bobby has caught the dramatic idea.)
"I see. He ought to be very useful."
"You see, the First Act's in a very grand restaurant, and Tommy comes into have dinner, and he explains to Reynolds how he met Felicia on aboat, and she'd lost her umbrella, and he said, 'Is this your umbrella?'and it was, and they began to talk to each other, and then he was inlove with her. And then he goes out, and then Reynolds tells theaudience what an awfully decent chap Tommy is."
"Why does he go out?"
"Well, you see, Reynolds couldn't tell everybody what an awfully decentchap Tommy is if Tommy was there."
(Of course he couldn't.)
"And where's Felicia all this time?"
"Oo, she doesn't come on: She's in the country with Samuel. You see, theSecond Act is a grand country wedding, and Samuel and Phyllis aremarried, and Tommy is one of the guests, and he's very unhappy, but hetries not to show it, and he shoots himself."
"Reynolds is there too, I suppose?"
"Oo, I don't know yet."
(He'll have to be, of course. He'll be wanted to tell the audience howunhappy Tommy is.)
"And how does it end?" I asked.
"Well, you see, when the wedding's over, Tommy sings a song aboutFelicia, and it ends up, 'Felicia, Felicia, Felicia,' getting highereach time--Short has to do that part, of course, but I've told himabout it--and then the curtain comes down."
"I see. And has Short written any of the music yet?"
"He's got some of the notes. You see, I've only just got the plot, andI've written about two pages. I'm writing it in an exercise-book."
A shadow passed suddenly across the author's brow.
"And the sickening thing," he said, as he leant back in his chair andsipped his ginger-beer, "is that on the cover of it I've speltDisappointment with two 's's.'"
(The troubles of this literary life!)
"Sickening," I agreed.
. . . . .
If there is one form of theft utterly unforgivable it is the theft by awriter of another writer's undeveloped ideas. Borrow the plot of Sir J.M. Barrie's last play, and you do him no harm; you only write yourselfdown a plagiarist. But listen to the scenario of his next play (if he iskind enough to read it to you) and write it up before he has time todevelop it himself, and you do him a grievous wrong; for you fix thecharge of plagiarism on _him_. Surely, you say, no author could sink solow as this.
And yet, when I got home, the plot of "Disappointment" (with one "s") sotook hold of me that I did the unforgivable thing; I went to my desk andwrote the opera. I make no excuses for myself. I only point out thatBobby's opera, as performed at Covent Garden in Italian, with Short'smusic conducted by Richter, is not likely to be belittled by anythingthat I may write here. I have only written in order that I may get thescenario--which had begun to haunt me--off my chest. Bobby, I know, willunderstand and forgive; Short I have not yet had the pleasure ofmeeting, but I believe he is smaller than Bobby.
ACT I.
SCENE--_A grand restaurant. Enter Tommy, a very handsome man, just back from Oxford._
_Tommy sings:_
Felicia, I love you, By all the stars above you I swear you shall be mine!-- And now I'm going to dine.
[_He sits down and orders a bottle of ginger-beer and some meringues._
_Waiter._ Your dinner, Sir.
_Tommy._ Thank you. And would you ask Mr. Reynolds to come in, if you see him? (_To the audience_) A week ago I was crossing the Channel--(_enter Reynolds_)--Oh, here you are, Reynolds! I was just saying that a week ago I was crossing the Channel when I saw the most beautiful girl I have ever seen who had lost her umbrella. I said, "Excuse me, but is this your umbrella?" She said, "Yes." Reynolds, I sat down and fell in love with her. Her name was Felicia. And now I must go and see about something. [_Exit._
_Reynolds._ Poor Tommy! An awfully decent chap if ever there was one. But he will never marry Felicia, because I happen to know her real name is Phyllis, and she is engaged to Samuel.
(_Recitative._)
She is engaged to Samuel. Poor Tommy, He does not know she's fond of Samuel. He _will_ be disappointed when he knows.
CURTAIN.
ACT II.
SCENE--_A beautiful country wedding._
_Tommy_ (_in pew nearest door, to_ Reynolds). Who's the bride?
_Reynolds._ Phyllis. She's marrying Samuel.
_Enter Bride_.
_Tommy._ Heavens, it's Felicia!
_Reynolds_ (_to audience_). Poor Tommy! How disappointed he must be! (_Aloud_) Yes, Felicia and Phyllis are really the same girl. She's engaged to Samuel.
_Tommy._ Then I cannot marry her!
_Reynolds._ No.
_Tommy sings:_
Good-bye, Felicia, good-bye, I'm awfully disappointed, I Am now, in fact, about to die, Felicia, Felicia, Felicia!
[_Shoots himself._
CURTAIN.
. . . . .
That is how I see it. But no doubt Bobby and Short, when they really getto work, will make something better of it. It is an engaging theme, but,of course, the title wants to be spelt properly.