Stolen Course by Aly Martinez
She looks so peaceful, not at all like the woman I saw in the counselor’s office a few months ago. It’s a shame that it took her this long, but I feel like she is finally finding herself again.
“Yeah, me too,” she softly answers.
I race down the stairs, plotting how I can get in and out of the house without running into Caleb. I bought a cute long grey skirt and form-fitting pink shirt that fits over my big pregnant belly just for tonight. I don’t look great but I feel better than I have in a long time. I want to surprise him, not run into him half dressed in our hallway.
Thankfully, when I pull up to the house, his truck isn’t there. I’m digging through the bathroom cabinet, tying to be as sneaky as possible in case Caleb comes home, when my phone rings. I swear I must jump about ten feet in the air, because it scares me to death. I don’t even have a second to glance at the caller ID before I’m pulling it to my ear.
“Hello.”
“I want to see her,” I hear Casey’s broken voice say on the other end of the line.
“Who? Are you okay?”
“Sarah,” she answers shortly.
“Well she’s home this weekend. Maybe I can talk to her and get back to you to set up a time—”
She interrupts. “No, I mean today.”
“Shit, Casey. I don’t know. I need to talk it over with her first. She’s doing really well, but I don’t want to set her off—”
“Call her. Tell her I miss her and I want to see her.”
“Casey—” I start, only to be interrupted yet again.
“Please, Emma. I’m begging you.” Her voice breaks.
“Yeah, okay. Let me talk it over with Sarah. I’ll call you back.”
“Make sure you tell her I miss her. And call her Danika. Promise you’ll do that,” she says urgently.
“Yeah, of course. I promise.” I quickly say goodbye and hang up.
I make my way to the den and flop down on the couch, wondering if this is a smart move at all. Sarah is doing so well, and Casey sounds desperate to rekindle something. This could definitely send Sarah into an ‘I’m not the same person’ tailspin. This has emotional breakdown written all over it.
But on the other hand, it would do Sarah some good to have some friends. She needs to be surrounded by people who love her, and that isn’t just limited to me. I sigh to myself and pick up my phone. This should be her decision, not mine. I said from the beginning that I wasn’t going to try to fix her. She is a grown woman who can make her own choices.
“Are you having another curling iron emergency?” she says jokingly when she answers the phone.
“No, Casey Black just called and she wants to see you…today,” I blurt out. I mean, really. What’s the point in sugarcoating it?
“Why?” she asks with an icy chill to her voice.
“Because, Danika, she says she misses you.”
After I relay Casey’s message, I fully expect Sarah to burst into tears from hearing whatever inside joke I just reminded her of. Instead, she starts quietly laughing.
“What do you think?”
I have to admit that this is the most shocking moment of the last five minutes. She asked for my advice.
“Are you asking what I think? Seriously?” I say in shock and disbelief.
“Ha. Ha. Seriously. You knew me before, and you know me now. Do you think Casey would be receptive to the changes?”
“Sarah, I love you. But I have to say it. Your tastes have changed, you don’t drink anymore, and you have different hobbies. I’m not trying to minimize your changes, but deep down, you are the same Sarah Kate Erickson you have always been. Only now, you aren’t stricken with grief and self-loathing. So dare I say this is the best Sarah Kate you have been in years?” I pause to allow her time to yell at me or argue with me, but it never comes.
“Bring her over.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, once again stunned.
“Yeah. I could use a little Anastasia Beaverhausen in my life again,” she answers.
I’m clueless about what the hell that means, but the lift in her voice lets me know she’s excited.
“We’ll be there soon.”
Thirty minutes later, I’m sitting inside my car in front of Sarah’s apartment. I decided to wait outside for Casey so I could have a little chat with her about Sarah before their reunion. Her Mercedes SUV finally rolls into the parking lot.
I walk over to where she parked. “Hey, lady.”
“Hey, Emma,” she says softly, climbing out of the car.
“So listen, I wanted to tell you a few things before we go in.” I go straight to the point. It’s freaking freezing outside, and snow is steady falling from the sky.
“Okay.” She motions me to the breezeway to escape the weather.
“I’m sure you heard that Sarah suffered a head injury after the accident, but she’s dealing with it. It’s changed her a good bit. So if she acts a little different than you’re used to, just don’t mention it, okay? She’s pretty sensitive about it.” I try to rush out the abridged version of Sarah’s medical issues before the wind and chill freeze us both into icicles.
“Yeah, of course,” she answers, and we head upstairs.
I briefly remember my date with Caleb and know that I need to push him off a little while. He isn’t going to be happy about it, but this is a really big deal for both Sarah and Casey.
Me: Something came up. Long story. Can we push dinner off an hour? I’ll call in a few and fill you in. Love you.
I press send and walk into the apartment with Casey in tow.
“YOU STILL watching that shit?” I ask Sarah as I walk through the front door.
“You still knocked up?” she responds with a huge smile as her eyes drift to Casey. It slowly fades as I turn to find Casey barely standing—her face suddenly pale.
“Hey, you okay?” I grab her arm and try to pull her down into the chair next to the couch. She bats my hand away, insisting to stand on her own two feet.
“I thought you were dead.” The tears work their way through her entire body before finally falling from her eyes. “You weren’t breathing, and you were so cold and still,” she whispers.
“Casey, what are you talking about?” Sarah says, walking forward, but Casey throws a hand up, blocking her progress, knocking over the lamp on the end table in the process.
“She loved you,” she chokes out, and we all know who the she is that she is referring to.
“She loved you, too,” Sarah says back, drying her own tears.
The room is silent and more than a little awkward for a few minutes while the two old friends stand uncomfortably.
“I killed her,” Casey blurts out, and for a minute, the world has been spun completely off its axis.
Sarah slings her eyes to me as I sling mine to Casey.
“You what?” I ask.
“I killed her,” she repeats. “The wreck was my fault. I was driving. Oh God, I’m so sorry.” And with that, Casey folds to the floor.
Sarah rushes toward her, and I immediately jump in the middle, more stunned than ever.
“No, you weren’t. Shut your mouth! Shut your fucking mouth!” Sarah explodes over my shoulder just before sobs catch in her throat.
“I did it. And I thought you were dead too. I left you both on the side of the highway, cold and alone.” Casey curls her legs into her chest and begins to rock.
“No, you didn’t. You weren’t even there that night,” Sarah tries to state matter-of-factly, but it comes out as more of a plea.
“I killed Manda!” Casey finally screams, and it forces Sarah to her knees.
“No, you didn’t. You weren’t there,” Sarah cries, crumbling in my arms.
Casey never once raises her tone as she begins to explain. “I was out with Jason McAdams searching for more pills. You called and said you had too much to drink. You thought you could drive home, but then you weren’t so sure. You pulled over at that gas station down the road from Westies. I
“No! No, no, no! You weren’t there!” Sarah once again screams at an eerily calm Casey, who is still crying but staring at the floor.
“I was. None of this was your fault.” The hopeless tone in her voice is alarming. It’s painful to listen to, and it’s even worse to know that she has been living this lie for all these years. My heart breaks for her and the whole damn group of innocent people this affected.
I can see the exact moment Sarah shifts from denial and rage and begins to rationalize her way out of this.
“Where’d you go? Where the fuck did you go, Casey? If you were there, someone would have seen you. It’s not like you could walk home. I’ve been to that tree a million fucking times. You couldn’t just walk away. Where did you go, God damn it?!”
“Eli was the first on the scene.”
Sarah and I both suck in a huge breath at the implications of that statement.
“Eli wasn’t there that night,” I say softly. I asked Caleb this very question a while back. Eli was on duty, but he was off at a domestic disturbance call. According to Caleb’s ‘box,’ Stephens was the first on the scene.
“No, he wasn’t as far as anyone else is concerned, because he was driving me home. Sarah, I swear, we both thought you were dead. When Eli pulled up, I was wandering around high and desperate. It was obvious Manda was gone. Even in my haze, I could recognize that. But you—I tried to bring you back. I tried to help but you just wouldn’t wake up.” Casey’s words are heart wrenching as she gets lost in her memories.
Tears openly fall from all of our faces as I distantly hear my phone ringing in the corner. Sarah and Casey might both be sitting on the floor, but I’m the only thing standing between them. I’m not about to move.
“WHERE THE fuck is she?” I begin to pace around the house Brett just bought without Jesse knowing.
“Chill out. She’s fine.”
“She’s fine? Remind me to tell you that when Jesse is eight months pregnant and disappears.”
“Jesus Christ, she didn’t disappear. She texted you, like, thirty minutes ago that something came up.”
“She also said she would call in a few minutes to update me, and now she isn’t answering her phone. What if—”
“She’s fine! If you’re so worried about it, get the fuck out of here and go check on her.”
“I’ll look like a dick for checking up on her,” I say, pacing the floor, but my mind is already made up.
“You are a dick. I think she’s used to it by now. Go barge in on her drinking coffee with her sister, but let me know when you find her,” he answers, dragging a tape measure up the wall.
“I’ll just give her fifteen minutes. Maybe call her another dozen times,” I say, absent of all humor. Realistically, I’ll probably call her thirty times over the next fifteen minutes.
I peek out the window and look at the heavy snow falling on the frozen roads. What if she’s hurt or stranded?
Fuck it. She can be pissed.
“I’m out of here.” I yank open the door and head for my truck.
“I WAS all over the place when Eli got there. He put me in the back of his car to keep me from wandering away. He immediately went to work on you and Manda. Finally, he came running up to the car and sped away. I tried to stop him, but he said there was another car and ambulance a minute out and they would take care of you.”
“Why the fuck would he have left us there? He could have saved her!”
“She was gone. The minute I hit that tree, Manda was gone. Her green eyes were wide open, looking at me when I found her.” All three of us flinch at her painful memory, and Sarah throws a hand to her mouth as her stomach threatens to revolt. “Please don’t blame this on Eli. He loved me. He knew I was high, and we both thought you two were gone. The plan was that I would go and turn myself in as soon as I sobered up, but when you didn’t remember anything, I sat back and allowed you to self-destruct because I was too afraid to face the consequences.” She sucks in a strangled cry.
“No. Please stop. Just stop,” Sarah begs, remembering the night she has no memory of through Casey’s words.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Sarah. I should never have agreed to drive you guys home that night. I sure as hell shouldn’t have waited five years to tell you this. I was just…”
“Shut up,” Sarah snaps at her. “Shut up, and never mention this again. This begins and ends here.” Sarah wipes her tears on the backs of her sleeves and rises to her feet. I stand beside her, looking puzzled by her response but not willing to drop my guard. “As far as everyone is concerned, I was driving the car that night. It’s over. Let it go.”
“I can’t do that. I honestly can’t live like this for even a minute longer. I’m done. Being buried beside Manda would have to feel better than this.”
“Casey. Don’t say that.” I try to stop where her mind is headed, yet once again, Sarah is the one who makes the real impression.
“I’ve lived with that guilt for years. I’ve tried to kill myself more times than anyone even knows. I’ve been burdened with the blame of this entire incident for entirely too long. I’ve lived it, owned it, and most recently moved on from it. I will be damned if I will sit by and watch you be publicly stoned for this. I’ve been there and done that. It fucking sucks. Just let it go. Please. You don’t want to open this back up.”
“I’m sorry.” Casey again chokes on a sob.
“You still taking pills?” Sarah asks rationally, and I might even say levelheadedly.
“No! I swear. I had a problem for years before that night, and exactly one week after the accident, I checked myself into rehab in Ohio. It’s been a long road of bouncing back and forth between sobriety, but I’ve been sober for three years and four months now. I’m done with that shit.”
“Good. Then you’ve done your time. I’ve already been crucified. I won’t let the same thing happen to you.”
“Stop being nice!” Casey shrieks. “I kept this shit from you for almost six years. Hit me. Hate me. Berate me. Do something. But don’t fucking be nice! I killed her. I fucking killed Manda! Hate. Me!”
I feel him long before I see him. An arctic breeze flows through the air just before his voice slides across the room.
“You did what?” Caleb asks, suddenly standing in the door way with a fire brewing in his eyes.
WHAT THE fuck is going on? I came up to the door and heard a woman screaming. Luckily it was unlocked or I would have torn the damn thing off the hinges to get to Emma. When I walk in, before I can fully assess the situation, Casey says words that cause my heart to still.
“I fucking killed Manda. Hate. Me!”
My eyes fly around the room trying to put the pieces together to somehow form a coherent thought. I can’t see Casey’s face, but I have no doubt it probably matches the tear-stained cheeks of Sarah and Emma.
“You did what?” I ask, and it’s like a kindergartner with a globe gave the world one big spin. The room morphs into chaos. Sarah rushes over and stands in front of Casey, blocking her from me as if I were a madman who just broke into the house.
“No!” she shouts, pushing Casey completely behind her—shielding her with her body.
Emma comes running up and starts talking quietly into my face, but I swear I can’t focus on her. My mind is reeling, but I can’t quite connect the dots.
“Make him leave!” Sarah screams at Emma.
For just a split second, all the women go silent. Or maybe my ears just seek out the words I’ve longed to hear among the voices.
Casey whispers, “I was driving. It’s all my fault.”
“What the fuck is she talking about?” I ask Emma, not dragging my eyes from Sarah, who is still protecting Casey. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I finally roar into the room.
“We need to tal
“Someone start talking, and for fuck’s sake, make some God damn sense.”
“I remember the accident,” Sarah rushes out frantically. “You were right. I was drunk. It was all my fault. Casey was just trying to protect me.”
“Sarah!” the girls shout at the same time.
“I did it. Now please leave,” Sarah says nervously.
“You’re lying.”
“Come on, Caleb. Let’s get out of here.” Emma once again tries to drag me away.
But I only take a step closer. I want to get a look a Casey and see if I can get a read on the situation. Why the hell would she say that she killed her? Casey wasn’t even there the night of the wreck.
I push down my anger, knowing that it will get me nowhere. I ignore Emma’s pleading and Sarah’s demands and begin talking to the only woman in the room who can give me the answers right now.
“What’s going on, Case?” I ask quietly.
“No, don’t talk to her. Get out!” Sarah acts like a mama bear herding her cub, but finally Casey turns and looks me right in the eye.
The pain on her face knocks me back a step. I haven’t seen something this bad since the night I carried Sarah out of Jesse’s apartment. It’s the look people get when they know there is no going back.
“Just talk. Tell me what’s really going on,” I say gently, but the inferno is burning inside me.
“I was driving that night. I was high and I killed Manda.” I can barely make out her words over her chokes.
“No, you didn’t,” I breathe, rejecting her confession.
My eyes slide to Emma, who is crying and nervously sliding her hair into a ponytail. I figured she would be all in my face, but I think even she knows that I need the space.
“Don’t take it out on her, please. Let me pay for this. Hate me,” Sarah begs as her lip begins to quiver.
“You were not fucking there!” I scream, suddenly losing it completely.