Tainted Bodies by Sarah Robinson
“These two go on the front door. This one attaches to the doorknob and when you turn it on, like before you go to bed, it will sound an alarm if the doorknob jiggles. So, you will be alerted right away if someone is even trying to touch your door but most likely the sound would make whoever it is run away. This here is another lock and you attach this side with a screwdriver to the door and this to the door post, then when the door is closed you just latch them together. It would make it very difficult to push open the door.
These ones here magnetic alarms and when the plates are not touching each other, the alarm will go off. So you attach them to the window and if the window is opened then the plates won’t be touching and it will make the alarm sound. I would put one on each window. These are similar installs to the door lock but are for the windows, they are easy to install and will keep the windows securely locked unless you unlock it.” The kind cashier explained each piece to her, showing her the instructions and how to install all of them.
Kate soaked in everything that he was saying and eagerly nodded as she listened to him. The cashier packed up all the merchandise into two separate plastic bags and handed the bags to her. Kate reached into her purse for her wallet and pulled it out, flipping it open.
“Thank you so much, how much do I owe you?” Kate asked the cashier, looking up at him and pulling bills out of her wallet. The cashier shook his head.
“You’ve paid enough.” He said to her with a smile of pity on his face. Kate looked up, surprised at his gift but then realizing his acknowledgment of what had happened to her. She was frozen there for a moment and all she could think about is how she must look, with leftover cuts and bruises still on her face.
“Thank you.” Kate told him as she reached for the bags. She didn’t know what else to say. Thank you wasn’t good enough but it was all she could choke out. He nodded at her and Kate took the bags, pushing open the store doors and walking out onto the busy city street.
~~~~
Her mind was blank for the rest of the walk home and everything seemed like a daze but as soon as she walked into her apartment she was refreshed with a new sense of purpose. She had a job to do and it was giving her a sense of control and power that she had lost many days ago. She placed the hardware store bags on her kitchen counter and pulled each piece of merchandise out of the bag and lined them up on the kitchen table, sorting them out between locks for the doors and locks for the windows.
She immediately got to work and the next few hours were spent turning her simple apartment into an impenetrable fortress. She placed alarms and locks on every window in the apartment, doubling up on the ones over the fire escape which he had used to leave her apartment. She borrowed a drill from her neighbor down the hall who worked in construction to put the chain lock and extra locks on her front door. After she was done, she couldn’t see any possible way to get into her apartment without her key. However, to ease her anxiety she decided that she needed to check for herself.
Kate went out her front door closing it securely behind her and locking it, then tucked her key into her front pant’s pocket. She walked down the stairs and out the front door of her apartment building onto the street. She turned left and the made the next left into the alley between her apartment building and the next. There is where the fire escape was that lead up to her apartment as well as a dozen others.
Kate looked around behind her and knew that what she was doing was kind of fishy looking if anyone saw her. She silently said a quick prayer and then reached up as high as she could for the ladder that would get her onto the fire escape. Even on her highest tippy toes, she could not reach the bottom of the ladder.
Kate crouched down and with all her might, she jumped up to grab the bottom rung of the ladder. No luck. Kate tried again, jumping a bit higher this time so her finger grazed the bottom rung but didn’t grab hold. Determined, Kate jumped a third time putting as much force into it as possible and she finally managed to get one hand around the bottom rung. With her weight on it, the ladder immediately glided down to the ground and Kate smiled with victory.
Now that the hard part was over, Kate easily climbed up the ladder onto the first platform and then carefully took the stairs the rest of the way up while holding onto the railing carefully. She had never been a fan of heights. After only a few moments, she reached her living room window and looked inside. Everything looked normal and just as she had left it. She attempted to push the window up and any other way that she could think of to get it open, barring actually breaking the glass, but the window didn’t budge. Her locks had worked. She stood in front of her window with her hands on her hips triumphantly, proud of herself and her handiwork.
Just then a black object came leaping towards her from inside her apartment. Even with the glass between them, Kate was completely startled and jumped back clutching the railing as she slammed against it. Praying it wouldn’t collapse due to it’s weak structure. She looked at her window again after containing her momentary shock and then laughed.
Her cat was sitting on the other side of the glass on the window ledge staring at her. Kate gave a little wave to her cat and then headed back down the stairs until she reached the ladder, which she climbed down until she finally reached the ground. She was glad that her morning of construction and being an amateur locksmith had been a success.
~~~~
Kate entered back into her apartment and locked the door behind her. She walked into the kitchen and realized that she was pretty hungry and had forgotten to have breakfast. So, she readied herself a simple sandwich and apple and took them to the living room to eat while watching some television. She quickly discovered that there was absolutely nothing worth watching in the middle of the day on a weekday and so she finished up her sandwich and turned off the television set.
Kate had been up so early that morning that she decided that she deserved a much needed nap and so she headed back into her newly rearranged bedroom to curl back up in bed. The comfort of her bed seemed like the only thing she had to hold onto at the moment even in her fully secured apartment, something about it brought a calmness to her. It no longer reminded her of the event of the past days since she had rearranged her entire room and used the new bed spreads. Her bedroom looked unrecognizable from before and she was allowing herself to be tricked into believing that it was a new place that she had never been before. Nothing terrible had ever been done to her in this new place before.
She pulled the bed sheets up to her chin and turned one way and then the other to tuck the blankets underneath her in an attempt to imprison herself in the blankets. Once she finally felt secure and warm, she closed her eyes and tried to let her mind drift to sleep. She felt something on her legs and looked down to see her cat, Boo, walking up the bed with her fat belly nearly dragging on the comforter. Kate smiled at her and pulled one arm out from under the blankets to extend to her kitten, scratching Boo’s chin and rubbing her head. The cat purred and curled up in a ball by her side, warming Kate as she vibrated softly against her.
It had been almost a week since the events of Sunday night had altered her life and she felt a surprising amount of calmness at the moment as she lay there in her apartment all by herself. She knew that everything was locked up tight and she was sure that no one could get in the apartment anymore. Kate also knew that the crime tape on her door still would need to come down, but for some reason she liked seeing it there. It was as if nothing else would happen because this place was already a crime scene, it couldn’t be a crime scene twice. At least that was the silly logic that she used to make herself feel secure and she was okay with that because it worked.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Kate’s rest was interrupted by a phone call that afternoon. Her cell phone was on the bed near her shoulder and the vibrations shook her gently awake. She yawned and grabbed at the phone, pressing the answer button.
“Hello?” She said sleepily.
“Hi, I’m trying to reach Kate Jackson.” A feminine
“This is Kate.” She responded, sitting up and stretching, then turning her feet off the side of the bed touching the floor.
“Hi Kate, this is Detective Snow from the Metro Police Department. We met in the hospital a few days ago and I wanted to call and check up and see how you were feeling.” The detective said to her.
“Oh hi.” Kate said, flatly, not very eager to speak to someone who only reminded her of her attack.
“I am doing fine. Healing normally, everything is fine here.” Kate continued.
“I am very glad to hear that. I wanted to let you know that I personally delivered your kit to our labs and it is currently being processed. I would like to either meet you here at the station or come visit you to get your statement. We also have a book of mug shots that you could look through, it would be very helpful to us because it is very possible that your attacker has been arrested before. His work doesn’t look like this was his first foray into criminal activities.” She continued explaining to Kate.
“Wait, you think he has done this to other women?” Kate stood up, pulling on a sweatshirt, and walking out of her bedroom while still holding the phone to her ear, trying to absorb everything that she was hearing.
“There is no way to say for sure until we catch him, but the odds are very likely. From everything we have seen, he seems to know what he is doing.” The detective confirmed. Kate had never thought of that, although it seemed obvious now. She had never really thought of him as a criminal but rather as her personal attacker, almost as if he belonged to her and no one else. Now she was realizing that there were probably other women out there feeling exactly like she was feeling and who were just as confused as she was. Something about that was terrifying but also comforting. She wasn’t alone.
“I can come down to the station in the morning.” Kate told her, wondering if she was going to be able to do this.
“Great, I will meet you there at nine. Just ask for Detective Snow or my partner, Detective McCraig.” She told Kate, abruptly ending the phone call. Kate put down the phone. She thought that Detective Snow seemed relatively nice but her bedside manner was a bit lacking. Kate couldn’t help but wonder if that was her own fault though for having been so uncooperative with the detectives in the hospital. She knew that she had been less than kind, but she had to think that in their profession, they would have run across victims like that before.
How else was I supposed to react? Kate thought to herself as she poured some ground coffee beans into her coffee maker on the kitchen counter. She then poured some water into the machine and picked out her favorite mug to sit underneath. It was her Ellen DeGeneres mug, a famous philanthropic celebrity that Kate admired and loved. She recorded her shows daily and watched them when she needed cheering up and inspiration. Ellen DeGeneres was such a kind hearted person and helped so many people, Kate wanted to do that and she wanted to be that.
Going to the police station and telling the detectives the intimate details of what happened to her was horrifying but as she looked at her mug slowly filling itself with delicious smelling coffee, Kate knew that if she ever wanted to emulate her idol she needed to start helping others. Telling the detectives the truth might save other women, or solve what has already happened to other women. Kate might not be his first. Those words kept ringing in her ears, like a horrible mantra that she held onto for comfort but was also nightmarish.
Her coffee machine beeped and the red light went off, indicating that her coffee was ready to drink. She opened her fridge and grabbed a small carton of creamer, dashing in a few drops and then spooned in one spoonful of sugar from the glass jar on her countertop. She took her coffee cup and headed back to the living room. As she was walking down the hall, she passed her open bedroom door and noticed her nightstand drawer was slightly ajar. She suddenly remembered the photograph.
The photograph.
The police knew nothing about the photograph. They knew nothing about the photograph that he took with him and the photograph that he had left behind, as some sort of token for her to forever remember him. Is that why he left me a photograph? Kate’s mind pondered the possibilities as she stood in the hallway, looking into her bedroom. She sipped her coffee and thought about bringing the photograph with her to the police station tomorrow.
The thought was unfathomable. She couldn’t let someone else see her that way, could she? It would be like opening up the wound all over again, victimizing herself again, humiliating herself in front of strangers. Kate took a few more gulps of her coffee and then walked into her bedroom and over to the nightstand. She pulled it open a little further and bent down to check that the Bible was still tucked in the back where she left it.
She reached in and picked it up, holding it in one hand. She knew the photograph was tucked inside it’s pages, hidden in the security of her faith and religion. But it was still there. It existed. The photograph would always still be there, she couldn’t throw it away and she didn’t know if she could show it to the police. She placed her coffee mug down on the nightstand and using both hands, slowly rifled through the Bible’s pages to find the photograph.
BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!
Kate’s doorbell buzzed with such force that Kate was startled and dropped the Bible on the floor, the photograph slipping out of it’s pages. Kate saw it and fumbled to push it back into the Bible’s pages and shoved the Bible back into the nightstand drawer. She was trembling from seeing the photograph and being interrupted in what was a very private moment. She closed the nightstand drawer and took a deep breath, trying to collect herself. She grabbed her coffee mug and left the bedroom, heading towards her front door. She peered through the peephole to be safe and see who was there.
Kate couldn’t believe it, Derrick was standing at her door. The man that had run out of her hospital room days before and refused her calls since then. The man that she had loved and shared every part of herself with for months. Derrick was standing at her door.
He buzzed the door again, but Kate didn’t move. She couldn’t open the door for some reason. This was the man that she loved but he had left her. He ran out and abandoned her at the moment that she needed him the most. She looked through the peephole again and reveled in how handsome he was. He was wearing a collared button up shirt, slightly open at the top and some dark jeans. Even through the small peephole, she could see his beautiful piercing eyes.
Derrick tried ringing the bell a third time and then paced back and forth in front of her door. He knew that she was there because he had been let up by her doorman who had said he thought she was home. Part of him worried that something was wrong, that she wasn’t answering because she was hurt and couldn’t get to the door. As he paced and debated if this was the case, he happened to look down and he saw the shadow of her feet moving in front of the door.
He stopped in his tracks, just looking at the crack at the bottom of the door. She was there, standing inside the door, not opening it. He looked up and saw the peephole and knew that she must have seen it was him and was choosing not to answer the door. Derrick sighed. He deserved this, he knew that and he didn’t blame her. In fact, he felt stupid for thinking she would have done anything different. He knew that he was the one who had messed things up between them. He was the one who had done everything wrong, betrayed her trust, and left her in her time of need.
Derrick stood in front of her door, contemplating what to do. He reached out and placed one hand against the door, as if hoping to reach out and touch her.
“Kate, I know you are there.” He said, stepping closer to the door and speaking softly enough that neighbors wouldn’t hear but loud enough that she could hear him through the door.
Kate stepped back from the other side of the door, she hadn’t meant for him to know that she was there. She didn’t want to open the door and she didn’t know what to do now.
“Kate, I can’t possibly begin to make up for what I have done to you.” Derrick said quietly, his v
Kate could hear it and it pulled at her heart strings. She could hear the sadness and pain and part of her just wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be fine. But the other part of her was telling her that everything wouldn’t be fine and that she couldn’t open herself up to being hurt again. She stood up against the door, both hands on it, listening to him. Her forehead leaning against the wooden door, unsure of what to do.
“I would like the chance to come in and talk to you, tell you how sorry I am. Tell you what a jerk I was and that I know what a mess I have made of everything.” Derrick sighed, leaning his back against the door frame. He wasn’t even sure if she was still there or listening to him at all.
“Do you remember the first time that you told me you loved me? Huddled together in bed, no other thoughts on our mind but each other? I had already told you days before but you had held out. I was nervous for days, wondering if you loved me back.” Derrick started talking, mostly just to enjoy the memory because he didn’t think she was listening anymore.
But Kate was listening and now she was smiling, leaning against the door on the other side. She remembered that night very clearly. She hadn’t wanted to tell him she loved him because she already knew that he had trouble with intimacy and commitment and she was afraid if she gave him what he wanted that he would leave. But he hadn’t left. He had been so happy when she told him that night in bed that she loved him.
“Kate, I have messed up plenty of times in my life but this is the one I will regret the most. If I have ruined any chance of us being together, ruined the love we shared, then I will regret that until the day I die.
You didn’t deserve me leaving like that and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I have to ask because you are my whole world, Kate.
I loved you the moment I saw you in the coffee shop on the first day we met, even though I refused to let myself really feel it and be vulnerable to that love. But, I loved you then and I love you now. All I can do is hope that some part of you still feels the same way.” Derrick sighed and finished his speech sadly.