The World's Best Boyfriend by Durjoy Datta
‘Fine,’ said Dhruv and moved out of her way. Aranya walked past. ‘GO! HAVE FUN WITH THE PROFESSOR!’
Aranya turned, furious, tears threatening to stream down her face. ‘Fun? Me? And what was that that was happening back there? What were you doing, huh?’
‘That was me and Ritika. I think I can allow myself that since you’re running away with your knight in shining armour,’ said Dhruv.
‘Oh? You’re blaming me? I’m at fault here because I’m trying to run away from my godforsaken life? Because I’m trying to corner the little bit of happiness that I can?’
‘You took the easy way out, Aranya.’
‘I took the easy way out? Me? DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH, DHRUV? Don’t you dare say that I took the easy way out! I told you what Raghuvir had offered and I told you what I was thinking and you did nothing. NOTHING!’ said Aranya and charged at Dhruv. She held him by the collar and shook him, a lone tear streaking down her flushed cheek. ‘AND IT WAS ME WHO CAME TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW TO TELL YOU I LOVED YOU! I ALWAYS HAVE! I was giving up the only shot at happiness to be with you. To give it a shot! Hoping you would leave your stupid girls behind, and be for me what you have been for them. Someone who would protect me. But what do I see? You in bed with a girl you don’t even love, Dhruv. And you know what, maybe it’s my fault. It’s always the fault of the girl because she looks to the boy to love her, save her, protect her, and do everything she could do on her own. ENOUGH. No more, Dhruv. You have been in my head, screwing it for years, but this is enough. You’re no longer a part of my life.’ She let go of his collar. ‘I will decide my own destiny, like I have always done. And you will rot with girls like her for the rest of your life. You’re weak, Dhruv, you’re fucking weak. And you’re only going to get worse from here when you see me lead a perfect life! Bye, Dhruv. Hope to not see your face again. And if I do, I hope it’s one of a defeated, broken man.’
She turned and started to walk away. Dhruv stood there, frozen. He gathered himself, and shouted, ‘You’re going to defeat me? You? Remember this moment you threatened me.’
She turned.
Dhruv continued. ‘I am going to fucking crush you, Aranya. Because after all, you chose Raghuvir over me before I chose Ritika. You were taking that job up! What damn choice did I have?’ The threat from Dhruv, unlike other times, seemed hollow and unconvincing, and even Dhruv didn’t believe in it.
Aranya laughed like she had lost it. ‘I love it how you conveniently pegged it down to a timeline. Who chose whom first? You know what, Dhruv? I feel bad about myself for having ever loved you. You know what’s really funny? Or sad? Or pathetic? Right up till now, before you said you still want to crush me, I thought I would forgive you. I was telling myself that I will overlook how I saw you and Ritika right now, I would think of it as an outburst and move on. Dhruv, who fought for everything, if only you had fought for me even a little bit, even right now, I would have forgiven you. All I wanted to see was a little bit of that anger, that fight in you which you show for others! But yeah, I guess I have learned my lesson. Why on earth was I expecting anything from you? Thank you, Dhruv. Thank you for teaching me everything you have.’ She shook her head and laughed at Dhruv like he was a pathetic loser.
Calming herself down, she caught his gaze, lifted her arm, and flashed her middle finger to Dhruv. ‘I have never lost,’ said Aranya and walked away.
Later that evening, the interviewer thanked Raghuvir for having bulldozed them into giving Aranya another chance; her performance was off the charts. She was handed the internship on a silver platter and she left for Bangalore three days later.
I Love u Rachu
66
From:
To:
Subject: To make you feel little and inconsequential
Attached: 242WOOAR12
242WOOAR13
242WOOAR15
242WOOAR16
Hi Dhruv,
This mail is in reply to the threat you had isuued when I left. Your words were, ‘You’re going to defeat me? You?’ Remember this moment . . .‘I’m going to fucking crush you, Aranya.’
Since that clearly hasn’t happened, I thought I would mail you and keep you updated on what has happened in the past one month and how badly you have failed in your pursuit.
I hope you’re in the worst of health. I sincerely imagine your insides to be rotting from the steroids you might have chosen to inject yourself with to maintain that useless body of yours.
Oh, I digress.
I’m not mailing to textually assault you. It’s to make you feel little and inconsequential as the subject line of this mail says.
As I sit on this really expensive recliner Raghuvir bought for me from Home Depot, I have to admit that at first I was sceptical whether moving on would be easy. But surprise, surprise! It was easier than the first calculus question I solved back in class nine.
Though what remains is this lingering feeling of not having exacted my revenge yet and hence this mail.
You can choose to stop reading this mail right now because what follows is a picture of my perfect life right now.
Raghuvir and I moved into two flats opposite to each other on the twenty-third floor of a building. I would add a celebratory wink after that sentence but you know where I’m going with it.
The flat is paid for by the company, which has taken an immense liking to me. I finally feel at home. My brains are respected here, feared, and everything else comes later. I have been doing great and I think I have a good shot at getting a job here and working under Raghuvir. Haha! Get the pun? Working under him? Get it? Get it?
Raghuvir is a man unlike you. He takes care of me. He’s working on me with a welding flame and a sledgehammer, chipping away at the walls around me, trying to make me fall in love, making this relationship work. Soon, I think both of us will love the shit out of each other. Persistence, as he insists, is one of his strongest suits, and I think it’s working.
Please also find attached with the mail a couple of pictures of us, Raghuvir and I, hugging, slightly drunk from the party Raghuvir hosted last Saturday where he showed me off as his girlfriend. GIRLFRIEND.
My parents seem to be extremely happy for me suddenly. My mother constantly tells my brother to type out recipes and send them to me so that Raghuvir remains impressed by my culinary skills. My mother thinks that food will keep Raghuvir ensnared.
I share those recipes with Raghuvir and he cooks them for me. Also sending two pictures of when he cooked elaborate meals for me. I haven’t used filters on any of the pictures. He’s a great cook and sometimes he cooks naked.
Until next time.
Bye!
Aranya
(The happiest girl in the world)
She hit the SEND button and shut down the laptop. It had been a month and Dhruv hadn’t followed up on his counter-threat of ‘I’m going to fucking crush you, Aranya.’ This had started to bother Aranya. Dhruv couldn’t have so easily moved on with his life after wreaking havoc in hers. Things had to go her way, one way or the other.
It was time she made her move. She was not going to lose. She wasn’t giving up on Dhruv so easily.
In the kitchen, Raghuvir was fastidiously trying to whip up something for their dinner that night.
‘So what’s on the menu today?’ asked Aranya, smiling coyly. Raghuvir instinctively grabbed her by the waist and kissed her lightly on the lips. Even after a month from their first kiss, Aranya was taken by surprise every time. Why would Raghuvir kiss her after kissing so many women who were so much prettier than her?
Off late, things had moved beyond kissing. Three nights out of four, they would share a bed and sleep next to each other. And on some nights, they would have sex. She was yet to learn to enjoy it. Most of the times she would be too conscious, too aware of the mechanics of sex, the stripping of clothes, way too many limbs, hair, skin, sweat, and the glaring prospect of being disappointing, to indulge in the p
leasure of it. But she would soon enjoy it, she was sure. She was just behind in the learning curve, that’s all.
‘The guys at the company are really excited at your work,’ said Raghuvir. The palak paneer was ready and he served it for them. Off late, he had started to ration what Aranya was eating. She had already lost a couple of kilos.
Aranya smiled weakly, a forced smile, something that signified she wasn’t too happy with what he had just said. Raghuvir, concerned, held her hand just like she knew he would. ‘I’m still talking about it with my seniors.’
‘You say the same thing every day, Raghuvir.’
‘It’s just been a month, Aranya. These things take time and you’re just an intern right now.’
‘I’m not pushing you, Raghuvir. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. What you asked me to do. Not let go of my ambition. We are a team now. We have to work together to get to our dreams. I just expect support. I hope you know I’m being reasonable.’
‘Of course you are. I wouldn’t expect anything different.’
Aranya ate silently, not satisfied with the answer. For the last two weeks Aranya had been pushing Raghuvir to talk to his seniors about the possibility of a college transfer for Aranya.
The deal was simple.
AMTECH would pay the tuition fee for Aranya’s engineering studies in a foreign university for the next three years. In return, Aranya would sign a ten-year bond with the company. And to get there, Aranya had been putting in nineteen-hour workdays. She was quite talked about among the senior management. But their decision about the college transfer was still pending.
‘I trust you,’ said Aranya.
‘Though as I said I would rather not have you leave India. I wish you could stay back for a couple of years. We could shift together,’ Raghuvir said.
‘I know that. But two years isn’t a long time, Raghuvir. And eventually, you will be there too. You have to know I just can’t go back to my college. For the first time in my life I feel happy about this,’ said Aranya, looking around the house. ‘After another month of this, three years of that college will be hard for me to take. I want to be away from my family and those kids at college.’
Raghuvir nodded and ate in silence. After a while, he asked, ‘It’s about that boy, Dhruv, isn’t it?’
It wasn’t the first time Dhruv had come up in the conversations. Just a few days back, Raghuvir had caught Aranya Googling his name. ‘I only harbour hatred for him. I want him to die,’ Aranya had said, wrapping her arms around Raghuvir, who had gotten a little suspicious.
‘I’m with you now and that’s all I care about. I have had it with people like him. I don’t want to be around him. I won’t be able to take it, Raghuvir. It’s too much negativity! Him, my parents, everything about that college and that city reminds me of my shortcomings. I want to feel normal for a while. I want a new life. And I want it with you.’
‘Okay. I will talk to them tomorrow. You will not have to go to that place again.’
Aranya put her arms around Raghuvir and thanked him.
I Love u Rachu
67
Aranya was in her bedroom that night, making last-minute changes to a presentation due the next day, when her phone beeped. Raghuvir stirred in his sleep. She put the phone on silent and waited for Raghuvir to reach REM sleep again.
DHRUV
That mail was probably the most juvenile thing ever.
ARANYA
Look who’s talking.
And I was updating you about current events.
DHRUV
You’re pathetic. It made me laugh.
ARANYA
I know you better than that, Dhruv.
DHRUV
?
ARANYA
You were in love with me for eight years. You’re not one who moves on so quickly.
DHRUV
Maybe I did. I found someone.
Aranya hesitated a little bit. It felt like someone had wrapped a barbed wire around her heart and was tightening it.
ARANYA
Please tell me the name you’re going to take is Ritika.
DHRUV
?
ARANYA
Please?
DHRUV
It’s Ritika.
ARANYA
LOL.
DHRUV
What the fuck?
ARANYA
LOL.
DHRUV
What’s wrong with you?
ARANYA
You’re not in love with her.
DHRUV
Of course I am.
ARANYA
And if you’re trying to make me jealous, it’s an epic fail.
DHRUV
Obviously, you’re jealous.
ARANYA
LOL.
DHRUV
It’s probably because I haven’t told you how pretty she is. Also, just ONE colour. AND REALLY THIN.
Aranya wanted to scream at the phone, fling it against the wall and stomp on it. She felt herself drowning in anger. She closed her eyes, pressed down on the screen of the phone till it creaked, breathed heavily till she calmed down. Her brows furrowed. She texted.
ARANYA
That reminds me. I’m not a virgin anymore. Raghuvir is quite good too.
It worked. There was a time lag between the two texts. Dhruv was so predictable. Obviously. It had to hurt. Aranya could almost see Dhruv frown on the other end.
DHRUV
Good for you.
Aranya clicked a selfie of her leaning over a sleeping Raghuvir’s body and sent it to him with a message.
ARANYA
1 image attached
I think I’m going to do it again.
DHRUV
You’re still as ugly.
1 image attached
The picture Dhruv sent was of Ritika and Dhruv in the gym, flexing their biceps. Ritika wore tight yoga pants and a sports bra and she looked beyond fabulous.
ARANYA
I see two men in the picture.
DHRUV
Fuck you.
ARANYA
Fuck you.
DHRUV
And for a feminist you do make a big deal out of losing your virginity. No one cares.
ARANYA
No one except you. Goodnight.
I Love u Rachu
68
Dhruv couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. He paced around the room, punched walls and nursed his knuckles, watched porn and masturbated unsuccessfully, went for a run, but sleep still evaded him.
Despite his threat, Dhruv hadn’t contacted her for a month. It had taken all his will to not do so and be noble. But today, that ship had sailed. He had to send that text. It ended rather badly for him.
He was tired now, but whenever he closed his eyes he could clearly see Aranya pouncing on Raghuvir, stripping him, feasting on him, all the while looking straight into Dhruv’s eyes and laughing. He would never get that image out of his head. He turned on his laptop.
From:
To:
Subject: Regret, Sadness, Love
Hi Aranya,
You know how to play your cards. And so do I.
You knew that once you told me what you had done with Raghuvir I wouldn’t ever be able to get it out of my head, didn’t you? Obviously, you did. You know how shallow I am by now, don’t you? Or have you always known?
It’s time I accept defeat.
I love you.
Always have. Sometimes I have hated you more than anything else in my life, but I have always loved you as well.
I have half a mind to come barging into that bedroom of yours and fling Raghuvir outside the window and take what’s mine. YOU. It’s been a long time coming. You should have been mine since the time you were ten. We were meant to be together. Coincidences are God’s way of telling us something.
You want to know why I didn’t follow up on my threat? Because I think you deserve a good life, a l
ife only Raghuvir can give you. Yes, I was being heroic. Cheers to that.
In the past month, I have come to realize that I would probably not fall in love with anyone else after being in love with you for years. And how can I? You’re after all the only girl who shows me my place, who makes me feel like dirt, badgers my armour and other phrases that you will know better because of your untarnished kill record.
I have always been vain and superficial. That part of me is not going anywhere. I will always look at you and think—she could have been thinner and hotter. But I think that has more to do with what you did to me than anything else. I don’t think I really care about how you look at all. Cursing you, telling you how ugly you are is just my coping mechanism, I think. You look fine to me and I say fuck you to the people to whom you don’t.
And then there’s this other part of me that’s in love with you. I would use fancy words but I know none. It’s like you’re my corner of the world. I can come to you and feel safe. I can shed my masculinity, curl up next to you and feel sheltered. I can be the little Dhruv again. For all these years, I have hated myself for being in love with you, the girl who destroyed my only chance at love. And in the process I have hated you. But in that hatred, you have always been alive in my heart. You have always been there, Aranya. What wouldn’t I give to be loved by you again, to love you, to protect you and be protected, to have my heart broken by you again, to feel alive!
I don’t know where to go from here. Should I come crawling to you, beg mercy, and snatch you away from Raghuvir? I could do that. It’s within my power, I think. You wouldn’t have mailed me if that window was completely shut. Beneath all that hatred you have for me, I’m sure there’s a little bit of love left yet, something I can exploit to my and our advantage.
But then, I find myself thinking, should I do that or not? Because what if you do find the love and the courage to be with me? Will we be great together? What if it all breaks down and goes to shit? Wouldn’t that be a tragedy? Don’t you think the current scheme of events works better for both of us?
You stay with Raghuvir and build a new life and I stay away from you and find it in my heart to hate you enough to not think about you any more.
Aranya turned, furious, tears threatening to stream down her face. ‘Fun? Me? And what was that that was happening back there? What were you doing, huh?’
‘That was me and Ritika. I think I can allow myself that since you’re running away with your knight in shining armour,’ said Dhruv.
‘Oh? You’re blaming me? I’m at fault here because I’m trying to run away from my godforsaken life? Because I’m trying to corner the little bit of happiness that I can?’
‘You took the easy way out, Aranya.’
‘I took the easy way out? Me? DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH, DHRUV? Don’t you dare say that I took the easy way out! I told you what Raghuvir had offered and I told you what I was thinking and you did nothing. NOTHING!’ said Aranya and charged at Dhruv. She held him by the collar and shook him, a lone tear streaking down her flushed cheek. ‘AND IT WAS ME WHO CAME TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW TO TELL YOU I LOVED YOU! I ALWAYS HAVE! I was giving up the only shot at happiness to be with you. To give it a shot! Hoping you would leave your stupid girls behind, and be for me what you have been for them. Someone who would protect me. But what do I see? You in bed with a girl you don’t even love, Dhruv. And you know what, maybe it’s my fault. It’s always the fault of the girl because she looks to the boy to love her, save her, protect her, and do everything she could do on her own. ENOUGH. No more, Dhruv. You have been in my head, screwing it for years, but this is enough. You’re no longer a part of my life.’ She let go of his collar. ‘I will decide my own destiny, like I have always done. And you will rot with girls like her for the rest of your life. You’re weak, Dhruv, you’re fucking weak. And you’re only going to get worse from here when you see me lead a perfect life! Bye, Dhruv. Hope to not see your face again. And if I do, I hope it’s one of a defeated, broken man.’
She turned and started to walk away. Dhruv stood there, frozen. He gathered himself, and shouted, ‘You’re going to defeat me? You? Remember this moment you threatened me.’
She turned.
Dhruv continued. ‘I am going to fucking crush you, Aranya. Because after all, you chose Raghuvir over me before I chose Ritika. You were taking that job up! What damn choice did I have?’ The threat from Dhruv, unlike other times, seemed hollow and unconvincing, and even Dhruv didn’t believe in it.
Aranya laughed like she had lost it. ‘I love it how you conveniently pegged it down to a timeline. Who chose whom first? You know what, Dhruv? I feel bad about myself for having ever loved you. You know what’s really funny? Or sad? Or pathetic? Right up till now, before you said you still want to crush me, I thought I would forgive you. I was telling myself that I will overlook how I saw you and Ritika right now, I would think of it as an outburst and move on. Dhruv, who fought for everything, if only you had fought for me even a little bit, even right now, I would have forgiven you. All I wanted to see was a little bit of that anger, that fight in you which you show for others! But yeah, I guess I have learned my lesson. Why on earth was I expecting anything from you? Thank you, Dhruv. Thank you for teaching me everything you have.’ She shook her head and laughed at Dhruv like he was a pathetic loser.
Calming herself down, she caught his gaze, lifted her arm, and flashed her middle finger to Dhruv. ‘I have never lost,’ said Aranya and walked away.
Later that evening, the interviewer thanked Raghuvir for having bulldozed them into giving Aranya another chance; her performance was off the charts. She was handed the internship on a silver platter and she left for Bangalore three days later.
I Love u Rachu
66
From:
To:
Subject: To make you feel little and inconsequential
Attached: 242WOOAR12
242WOOAR13
242WOOAR15
242WOOAR16
Hi Dhruv,
This mail is in reply to the threat you had isuued when I left. Your words were, ‘You’re going to defeat me? You?’ Remember this moment . . .‘I’m going to fucking crush you, Aranya.’
Since that clearly hasn’t happened, I thought I would mail you and keep you updated on what has happened in the past one month and how badly you have failed in your pursuit.
I hope you’re in the worst of health. I sincerely imagine your insides to be rotting from the steroids you might have chosen to inject yourself with to maintain that useless body of yours.
Oh, I digress.
I’m not mailing to textually assault you. It’s to make you feel little and inconsequential as the subject line of this mail says.
As I sit on this really expensive recliner Raghuvir bought for me from Home Depot, I have to admit that at first I was sceptical whether moving on would be easy. But surprise, surprise! It was easier than the first calculus question I solved back in class nine.
Though what remains is this lingering feeling of not having exacted my revenge yet and hence this mail.
You can choose to stop reading this mail right now because what follows is a picture of my perfect life right now.
Raghuvir and I moved into two flats opposite to each other on the twenty-third floor of a building. I would add a celebratory wink after that sentence but you know where I’m going with it.
The flat is paid for by the company, which has taken an immense liking to me. I finally feel at home. My brains are respected here, feared, and everything else comes later. I have been doing great and I think I have a good shot at getting a job here and working under Raghuvir. Haha! Get the pun? Working under him? Get it? Get it?
Raghuvir is a man unlike you. He takes care of me. He’s working on me with a welding flame and a sledgehammer, chipping away at the walls around me, trying to make me fall in love, making this relationship work. Soon, I think both of us will love the shit out of each other. Persistence, as he insists, is one of his strongest suits, and I think it’s working.
Please also find attached with the mail a couple of pictures of us, Raghuvir and I, hugging, slightly drunk from the party Raghuvir hosted last Saturday where he showed me off as his girlfriend. GIRLFRIEND.
My parents seem to be extremely happy for me suddenly. My mother constantly tells my brother to type out recipes and send them to me so that Raghuvir remains impressed by my culinary skills. My mother thinks that food will keep Raghuvir ensnared.
I share those recipes with Raghuvir and he cooks them for me. Also sending two pictures of when he cooked elaborate meals for me. I haven’t used filters on any of the pictures. He’s a great cook and sometimes he cooks naked.
Until next time.
Bye!
Aranya
(The happiest girl in the world)
She hit the SEND button and shut down the laptop. It had been a month and Dhruv hadn’t followed up on his counter-threat of ‘I’m going to fucking crush you, Aranya.’ This had started to bother Aranya. Dhruv couldn’t have so easily moved on with his life after wreaking havoc in hers. Things had to go her way, one way or the other.
It was time she made her move. She was not going to lose. She wasn’t giving up on Dhruv so easily.
In the kitchen, Raghuvir was fastidiously trying to whip up something for their dinner that night.
‘So what’s on the menu today?’ asked Aranya, smiling coyly. Raghuvir instinctively grabbed her by the waist and kissed her lightly on the lips. Even after a month from their first kiss, Aranya was taken by surprise every time. Why would Raghuvir kiss her after kissing so many women who were so much prettier than her?
Off late, things had moved beyond kissing. Three nights out of four, they would share a bed and sleep next to each other. And on some nights, they would have sex. She was yet to learn to enjoy it. Most of the times she would be too conscious, too aware of the mechanics of sex, the stripping of clothes, way too many limbs, hair, skin, sweat, and the glaring prospect of being disappointing, to indulge in the p
‘The guys at the company are really excited at your work,’ said Raghuvir. The palak paneer was ready and he served it for them. Off late, he had started to ration what Aranya was eating. She had already lost a couple of kilos.
Aranya smiled weakly, a forced smile, something that signified she wasn’t too happy with what he had just said. Raghuvir, concerned, held her hand just like she knew he would. ‘I’m still talking about it with my seniors.’
‘You say the same thing every day, Raghuvir.’
‘It’s just been a month, Aranya. These things take time and you’re just an intern right now.’
‘I’m not pushing you, Raghuvir. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. What you asked me to do. Not let go of my ambition. We are a team now. We have to work together to get to our dreams. I just expect support. I hope you know I’m being reasonable.’
‘Of course you are. I wouldn’t expect anything different.’
Aranya ate silently, not satisfied with the answer. For the last two weeks Aranya had been pushing Raghuvir to talk to his seniors about the possibility of a college transfer for Aranya.
The deal was simple.
AMTECH would pay the tuition fee for Aranya’s engineering studies in a foreign university for the next three years. In return, Aranya would sign a ten-year bond with the company. And to get there, Aranya had been putting in nineteen-hour workdays. She was quite talked about among the senior management. But their decision about the college transfer was still pending.
‘I trust you,’ said Aranya.
‘Though as I said I would rather not have you leave India. I wish you could stay back for a couple of years. We could shift together,’ Raghuvir said.
‘I know that. But two years isn’t a long time, Raghuvir. And eventually, you will be there too. You have to know I just can’t go back to my college. For the first time in my life I feel happy about this,’ said Aranya, looking around the house. ‘After another month of this, three years of that college will be hard for me to take. I want to be away from my family and those kids at college.’
Raghuvir nodded and ate in silence. After a while, he asked, ‘It’s about that boy, Dhruv, isn’t it?’
It wasn’t the first time Dhruv had come up in the conversations. Just a few days back, Raghuvir had caught Aranya Googling his name. ‘I only harbour hatred for him. I want him to die,’ Aranya had said, wrapping her arms around Raghuvir, who had gotten a little suspicious.
‘I’m with you now and that’s all I care about. I have had it with people like him. I don’t want to be around him. I won’t be able to take it, Raghuvir. It’s too much negativity! Him, my parents, everything about that college and that city reminds me of my shortcomings. I want to feel normal for a while. I want a new life. And I want it with you.’
‘Okay. I will talk to them tomorrow. You will not have to go to that place again.’
Aranya put her arms around Raghuvir and thanked him.
I Love u Rachu
67
Aranya was in her bedroom that night, making last-minute changes to a presentation due the next day, when her phone beeped. Raghuvir stirred in his sleep. She put the phone on silent and waited for Raghuvir to reach REM sleep again.
DHRUV
That mail was probably the most juvenile thing ever.
ARANYA
Look who’s talking.
And I was updating you about current events.
DHRUV
You’re pathetic. It made me laugh.
ARANYA
I know you better than that, Dhruv.
DHRUV
?
ARANYA
You were in love with me for eight years. You’re not one who moves on so quickly.
DHRUV
Maybe I did. I found someone.
Aranya hesitated a little bit. It felt like someone had wrapped a barbed wire around her heart and was tightening it.
ARANYA
Please tell me the name you’re going to take is Ritika.
DHRUV
?
ARANYA
Please?
DHRUV
It’s Ritika.
ARANYA
LOL.
DHRUV
What the fuck?
ARANYA
LOL.
DHRUV
What’s wrong with you?
ARANYA
You’re not in love with her.
DHRUV
Of course I am.
ARANYA
And if you’re trying to make me jealous, it’s an epic fail.
DHRUV
Obviously, you’re jealous.
ARANYA
LOL.
DHRUV
It’s probably because I haven’t told you how pretty she is. Also, just ONE colour. AND REALLY THIN.
Aranya wanted to scream at the phone, fling it against the wall and stomp on it. She felt herself drowning in anger. She closed her eyes, pressed down on the screen of the phone till it creaked, breathed heavily till she calmed down. Her brows furrowed. She texted.
ARANYA
That reminds me. I’m not a virgin anymore. Raghuvir is quite good too.
It worked. There was a time lag between the two texts. Dhruv was so predictable. Obviously. It had to hurt. Aranya could almost see Dhruv frown on the other end.
DHRUV
Good for you.
Aranya clicked a selfie of her leaning over a sleeping Raghuvir’s body and sent it to him with a message.
ARANYA
1 image attached
I think I’m going to do it again.
DHRUV
You’re still as ugly.
1 image attached
The picture Dhruv sent was of Ritika and Dhruv in the gym, flexing their biceps. Ritika wore tight yoga pants and a sports bra and she looked beyond fabulous.
ARANYA
I see two men in the picture.
DHRUV
Fuck you.
ARANYA
Fuck you.
DHRUV
And for a feminist you do make a big deal out of losing your virginity. No one cares.
ARANYA
No one except you. Goodnight.
I Love u Rachu
68
Dhruv couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. He paced around the room, punched walls and nursed his knuckles, watched porn and masturbated unsuccessfully, went for a run, but sleep still evaded him.
Despite his threat, Dhruv hadn’t contacted her for a month. It had taken all his will to not do so and be noble. But today, that ship had sailed. He had to send that text. It ended rather badly for him.
He was tired now, but whenever he closed his eyes he could clearly see Aranya pouncing on Raghuvir, stripping him, feasting on him, all the while looking straight into Dhruv’s eyes and laughing. He would never get that image out of his head. He turned on his laptop.
From:
To:
Subject: Regret, Sadness, Love
Hi Aranya,
You know how to play your cards. And so do I.
You knew that once you told me what you had done with Raghuvir I wouldn’t ever be able to get it out of my head, didn’t you? Obviously, you did. You know how shallow I am by now, don’t you? Or have you always known?
It’s time I accept defeat.
I love you.
Always have. Sometimes I have hated you more than anything else in my life, but I have always loved you as well.
I have half a mind to come barging into that bedroom of yours and fling Raghuvir outside the window and take what’s mine. YOU. It’s been a long time coming. You should have been mine since the time you were ten. We were meant to be together. Coincidences are God’s way of telling us something.
You want to know why I didn’t follow up on my threat? Because I think you deserve a good life, a l
In the past month, I have come to realize that I would probably not fall in love with anyone else after being in love with you for years. And how can I? You’re after all the only girl who shows me my place, who makes me feel like dirt, badgers my armour and other phrases that you will know better because of your untarnished kill record.
I have always been vain and superficial. That part of me is not going anywhere. I will always look at you and think—she could have been thinner and hotter. But I think that has more to do with what you did to me than anything else. I don’t think I really care about how you look at all. Cursing you, telling you how ugly you are is just my coping mechanism, I think. You look fine to me and I say fuck you to the people to whom you don’t.
And then there’s this other part of me that’s in love with you. I would use fancy words but I know none. It’s like you’re my corner of the world. I can come to you and feel safe. I can shed my masculinity, curl up next to you and feel sheltered. I can be the little Dhruv again. For all these years, I have hated myself for being in love with you, the girl who destroyed my only chance at love. And in the process I have hated you. But in that hatred, you have always been alive in my heart. You have always been there, Aranya. What wouldn’t I give to be loved by you again, to love you, to protect you and be protected, to have my heart broken by you again, to feel alive!
I don’t know where to go from here. Should I come crawling to you, beg mercy, and snatch you away from Raghuvir? I could do that. It’s within my power, I think. You wouldn’t have mailed me if that window was completely shut. Beneath all that hatred you have for me, I’m sure there’s a little bit of love left yet, something I can exploit to my and our advantage.
But then, I find myself thinking, should I do that or not? Because what if you do find the love and the courage to be with me? Will we be great together? What if it all breaks down and goes to shit? Wouldn’t that be a tragedy? Don’t you think the current scheme of events works better for both of us?
You stay with Raghuvir and build a new life and I stay away from you and find it in my heart to hate you enough to not think about you any more.