Unbearable by Sherry Gammon
“Sorry. I get emotional over my family. It’s just that I love them more than anything.” I dried my face with my gloved hand as a flock of geese flew overhead, squawking noisily to each other through the falling snow. I smiled, remembering how much Eliza loved to chase the birds as we walked along the canal.
Collecting myself, I faced her again and continued. “It took me a while, but eventually I pushed past the anger, realizing I needed to forgive you so I could heal. I doubt I’ll ever understand why you hurt me like you did, but it is what it is.” I chuckled. “And I’m not even sure you care, but I do forgive you.” As I said the words, my heart felt lighter. “I’m glad I came,” I said, mostly to myself.
The snow finally stopped. I shook the wet mess off my umbrella and snapped it closed. “I have to go. Our friends are celebrating their tenth anniversary and his wife is surprising him with a Caribbean cruise. She’s petrified of water, but she knows how badly he wants to go. I want to see his face when he opens the envelope.”
The clouds were breaking apart and rays of sunshine began punching through, spotlighting the ground. “Looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day after all.” I brushed the slush from the top of her headstone. “I’ll come by more often. I promise. I’ll bring the kids by, too. They enjoy it when we visit Seth’s parents. Eliza swears she can see them flying around us whenever we stop by.”
I repositioned the rose before turning toward my car, stopping after a few steps. I angled back to my mother’s grave, admiring the headstone again for just a moment.
“I love you, Mom.”
Listen to the playlist for Unbearable
Other novels by Sherry:
Exciting news! Book one of the Port Fare Series, Unlovable, is being made into a movie! For all the latest news on the move, like my Unlovable Movie Page! Here!!
Unlovable (Book 1 of the Port Fare Series): High school senior Maggie Brown is truly the poster child for Heroin Chic, complete with jutting bones and dark-ringed eyes. But drugs are not Maggie's problem... her mother is. Seth Prescott is an undercover cop assigned to Port Fare High, and despite his job, he’s developed strong feelings for Maggie. Seth’s working tirelessly to flush out the sadistic drug peddlers that have invaded the small town of Port Fare, New York, while Maggie fights to stay alive as the search turns deadly. Seth and Maggie’s romantic journey is one of humor, heartbreak and self-discovery as their world is about to change forever.
Unbelievable (Book 2 of the Port Fare Series): Deliah Lopez Dreser’s in town to take care of family business. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but there’s more to Lilah than meets the eye. Cole’s in danger of losing his heart when this firestorm throws sparks his way. However, is she simply playing him for the fool in order to exact revenge for her brother’s murders? Maggie and Seth’s reaction when the truth is revealed pushes friendship to the limit. And this time around it won’t be a Dreser causing an uproar in Port Fare. It will be Cole's good friend Booker. But does Booker have it all wrong?
Not So Easy: Senior Max Sanchez has it all. He’s the star pitcher for Port Fare High’s baseball team. He’s dating the head cheerleader, Emma McKay, and he has a great group of friends. Junior JD Miller’s life is Not So Easy. Unlike Max, JD struggles with making friends. He’s a social misfit, and he’s being bullied at every turn. He’s also barely surviving. A tragic accident changes everything, merging their lives together, and Max soon learns that life is not so easy for everyone. Max works to the point of exhaustion trying to help JD survive the chaos that is his life, and his eyes are opened to a world he had no idea even existed. Not So Easy is a story about hope, surviving, and never giving up.
Pete & Tink A Novella: Pete Pancerella loves two things in life: Video games and Spongy Cremes. He’s happy, content, and he’s also a geek. All that is about to change when his mother wishes upon a star and Tink answers the call. But will it take more than a five-and-a-half inch faery to whip this manga-loving goofball into shape?
Loving Marigold : (Part of the A Fantasy Christmas anthology)Young Marigold Yarrow has a secret. She’s also in love with Jack Mahoney. In the middle of her ninth grade year, Jack's family up and moves to Port Fare, New York, leaving the small town of Sugar Maple, West Virginia - and Marigold - far behind. Nine years later Jack and Marigold meet again. They join forces to weed out the shady Abbott boys. The unscrupulous brothers are illegally selling moonshine near her home on Sugar Maple Ridge. And they'll do anything to get Marigold to leave the ridge. Anything. But this time it could be magic that tears Jack and Marigold apart.
The Experiment: Co-written by Jeffrey and Cindy C Bennett: Time is running out for the Collaborative's oppressive rule of the remote world Senca One. The government attempts to suppress the escalating riots, even while seeking to further their experiments. When their parents are taken, triplets Juliet, Cilla, and Emiah Tripp set out to locate them, and soon discover they are at the center of a hunt to capture them.
www.WordpaintingsUnlimited.com
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Facebook
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Domestic abuse Hotline 1−800−799−7233
About the Author
Sherry Gammon's debut novel Unlovable quickly rose to the top seller list on Amazon. She has added several more novels to her body of work.
Sherry and her wonderfully supportive husband, currently call Upstate New York home, which is also the setting for her novels. It is where they are raising their family. Sherry has a degree in Legal Assisting, and served as a medical technician in the Air Force. She and her husband worked in foster care for a number of years, from which they adopted their youngest son. She has worked in the education system for a number of years, and is currently lucky enough to be teaching teenage girls, ages 12-18. She has lived in Michigan, California, Utah, Texas, Pennsylvania, and the beautiful, but over-taxed state of New York where she has spent the last eleven years, and now considers home. It is where she spends her nights writing instead of sleeping :}
Please drop by my webpage and say hi! I LOVE hearing from my readers!
www.WordpaintingsUnlimited.com
Amazon Edition
Amazon License Statement
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
All rights reserved. No parts of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Exceptions are reviewers who may quote short excerpts for review.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The characters are products of each author's imagination and are used fictitiously.
A Wordpaintings Unlimited Book
Distributed by Wordpaintings Unlimited and Sherry Gammon
All Rights Reserved USA
Cover Design by Sherry Gammon
Cover photo by: Michael Zysman | Dreamstime.com
Back cover photo: Mari1Photo Depositphotos.com
Continue for a sneak peek of The End of Feeling by Cindy C Bennett
Prologue
Benjamin
I don’t feel anything anymore.
If I were going to feel something, it would be for my sister, Mia. She’s gone now, has been for the last eight years since I was nine . . . and I somehow doubt she’s coming back.
I loved her when she was here. I tried to protect her.
I failed.
When he finally hurt her so badly that she nearly died, torn up inside and out, she came and took her. She left me here, left me with him, completely at his mercy. As far as I know, she didn’t even come back to se
e if I was okay, if I needed help, if I needed to go, too.
I don’t hate her for that. I don’t even envy her that she got out so much earlier than even Mia. To do either of those things requires feeling, and I don’t feel. Anything. So I live with him still, numb and beyond caring. How else could I be?
One
Benjamin
Daniel and I relax at a table in the center of the common area. School begins in less than fifteen minutes, so many of the other students have already begun to gather their stuff and move toward their first period class. Those who remain behind, unhurried and unworried, are the seniors. It’s the sophomores and juniors that worry about being late.
Daniel sits on the bench, his back facing the table, elbows propped on the edge and his legs sprawled in front of him. I’m lying flat out on the top of the table, arms propped behind my head as we discuss the upcoming football game. Some of our other buddies are sitting around with us as well, but they’re almost unimportant. Daniel and I rule the school and they know it. The others serve the purpose of having a crowd to rule.
“Whoa,” Daniel says, sitting up straight. I turn my head in his direction. “Hot new girl at ten o’clock.”
I turn my gaze to the ten o’clock position and see nothing and no one unusual. I sit up and see that Daniel is staring straight ahead and roll my eyes. I should have known. Clearly Daniel has no idea how to read an analog clock. Every time he gives a position in relation to a clock, he’s nowhere near correct. I follow his eyes and see exactly who he’s looking at.
Alexis, Phoebe, and Cozi are emerging from the main office, and in the center of them is a stranger. Granted, with a school as large as ours, it’s not possible to know everyone, but she’s one I would have noticed. She’s about the same height as Phoebe, which puts her around five-and-a-half feet. She has straight, blonde hair. Nothing extraordinary in either of those features but she’s definitely on the gorgeous side of life, I can see that even from here. She laughs at something one of the other girls says and Daniel turns a look to me, grinning. Her laugh carries across to us, throaty and joyful, one of the greatest laughs I’ve ever heard.
“We should go say hi,” I say.
“That’s what I was thinking,” Daniel replies, scooping up his backpack from the floor as he rises. When we near the group, Alexis sees our approach. Her gaze finds mine and I see a flash of anger mixed with hurt. Her eyes flick to the new girl and then back to me as understanding dawns. She knows I’m not coming to see her, but to meet her new friend.
“Hey, guys,” Daniel says.
They all respond, except the new girl. I’ve got my gaze locked on her and she’s looking back.
“Hi, Benjamin,” Phoebe says.
“Hey, Phoebe,” I say, my gaze flicking to her quickly, dismissively, before returning to the new girl. She’s even better looking up close. Her eyes are a hazel green, wide and almond shaped, surrounded by thick, dark lashes. I wonder if they’re fake. Plenty of girls have fake lashes. “Who’s your new friend?”
“Oh, um, this is Charlie. Charlie, this is Benjamin and Daniel.”
I hold a hand out and her eyes look at it. She hesitates just a nanosecond before placing her hand in mine. She grasps my hand tightly, gives it a single firm shake then pulls her hand back before I have a chance to give her my usual soft squeeze and gentle brush of the thumb across the back of her hand. It always works to throw girls a little off, when they’re not sure if they’ve had their hand shaken or caressed.
Alexis bites the inside of her cheek and I can see she’s trying not to laugh over Charlie’s handshake. Alexis is one of my most recent heartbreaks—her heart, not mine. To be fair, I only went on two dates with her. That’s my absolute maximum. Any more than that and the girl might think I’m interested in some kind of relationship. Sometimes they fall too hard for me. If I’m being honest, most times they fall too hard for me. Not my fault. Alexis smiles at Charlie’s apparent rejection of the vibes I’m trying to project.
Charlie turns and juts her hand toward Daniel, giving him the same brusque handshake, but smiling at him as she does. Alexis laughs outright this time. I ignore her, awed by Charlie’s smile. It reveals deep dimples in both cheeks, with smaller ones at each corner of her mouth. Her smile is even better than her eyes and her laugh.
“Charlie?” I say. “That’s an unusual name.”
“Short for Charlotte,” she says, gazing directly at me. I try using my most intense, come-hither look. She remains unmoved.
“Down, Benjamin, she’s new here,” Cozi says, linking her arm through Charlie’s and leading her away. Daniel and I watch her go. Daniel is grinning, but I watch her intently. It’s not usual for a girl to be immune to me, particularly when I’m pouring on the charm.
Well, I decide, nothing like a good challenge to begin the football season.
Two
Charlie
“I’m home,” I call, stepping through the front door. I drop my backpack by the door, then remember my aunt’s obsession with order and pick it up again. I can hear the TV playing in the family room at the back of the house. I look around the strange entryway, allowing myself one moments longing for my grandma and her home where we lived until her death a month ago.
I walk into the family room and see my mom, sitting on the couch, watching Barney. I dig my nails into my palms. Man, I hate that stupid, annoying, dense, purple dinosaur. “Hi, Mom,” I say.
Mom jumps at the sound of my voice. She’d been too intent on Barney to hear my earlier greeting. She turns my way, a wide smile splitting her face. I smile back. Her eyes crinkle with joy as she jumps up from the couch, stray, wiry gray hairs escaping her messy ponytail. I grit my teeth at my aunt’s lack of care of her.
“Charlie!” my mom yells brightly, running to me and throwing her arms around my neck, kissing my cheek noisily. I hug her tightly, cringing at the slightly sour smell.
“Mom, did you take a bath today?”
“Mimi says I don’t have to bath today.”
“Mom, we talked about this, remember? You need to bathe every day.”
She shakes her head, mouth drooping. She refuses to shower, has ever since the incident. So we compromise with a bath, followed by a lotion rubdown. If she could manage to go a night without wetting her adult diapers, she could skip a bath. In all the time I can remember, she’s been able to skip only a handful.
“Should we go take a bath now?” I ask.
“Barney’s on,” she whines.
“Yes, and if you take a bath, you can play with your Barney toy. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
As fast as her mouth drooped, it now is replaced by a big smile. She claps happily and skips to the bathroom. I follow and run the water while she undresses, singing the annoying theme from the TV show. I pull the rubber band from her hair and dump water over her head. She blows bubbles as I do so. I get her washed as she happily plays with the big purple dinosaur and I then have to convince her to get out of the tub. Convincing her to get out is as difficult as getting her in.
Once she’s dried and dressed, she sits back in front of the TV to watch cartoons, Barney long since forgotten, while I start dinner. I’m angry that my aunt is still not home. I wonder how long my mom sat here alone, unsupervised, until I arrived.
She comes in when I’m just about done with the spaghetti, acting like nothing is wrong.
“Hi, Charlotte,” Naomi says. I bristle at the name. It’s not that I dislike the name; my grandma chose it for me because it was her own mother’s name. It’s because my aunt refuses to call me Charlie like everyone else does simply because it’s the nickname my mom gave me.
“Where were you?” I ask.
She stops in the act of setting her purse down to stare at me. “That’s none of your business.”
“It is when you leave my mom home alone,” I retort. “She can’t be left on her own.”
“I was gone maybe ten minutes before you got home from school. What can happen in ten min
utes?”
A lot, I think. I refrain from telling her though, knowing our living here is precarious and based on staying in her good graces.
“I have a life, Charlotte. Allowing you two to move in didn’t include the requirement that I give up all my freedom.”
“I understand that,” I say, biting my tongue from telling her how selfish she is. “I’m coming home directly after school. I haven’t signed up for any extracurricular activities or anything. I’ll even get up early to bathe her if that’s too much to ask of you. All I do ask is that you watch her while I’m gone.”
Naomi sighs. “We need to talk.”
“It’s time to eat,” I say. I have a feeling I know what she’s going to say. I move past her to call my mom when she places a hand on my arm.
“Not all homes are bad places,” she begins, and fury consumes me.
“I will not place my mother in a home,” I spit.
“You shouldn’t have to give up normal teen things to take ca—”
“I don’t care!” I’m shaking with anger. “I don’t care about any of that. I’ll drop out of school if I have to. I’m not putting her in a home!”
Naomi sighs again and I’m tempted to punch her. What does she know of taking care of my mom? She abandoned ship as soon as she graduated high school to get away from the embarrassment of having my mom for a sister. Plus, she knows what happened when my grandma did buckle under pressure—from Naomi, no less—and put her in a home. How could she possibly subject her to that again?
“I know it’s not ideal—”
I spin away from her, refusing to listen to another word. I walk into the living room where my mom sits, curled up on the couch, a blanket pulled up to her ear in one hand, sucking on the thumb of her other. My shoulders sink in dismay as I walk over to her. Her eyes are glued to the TV, but I know she’s not watching it.
Collecting myself, I faced her again and continued. “It took me a while, but eventually I pushed past the anger, realizing I needed to forgive you so I could heal. I doubt I’ll ever understand why you hurt me like you did, but it is what it is.” I chuckled. “And I’m not even sure you care, but I do forgive you.” As I said the words, my heart felt lighter. “I’m glad I came,” I said, mostly to myself.
The snow finally stopped. I shook the wet mess off my umbrella and snapped it closed. “I have to go. Our friends are celebrating their tenth anniversary and his wife is surprising him with a Caribbean cruise. She’s petrified of water, but she knows how badly he wants to go. I want to see his face when he opens the envelope.”
The clouds were breaking apart and rays of sunshine began punching through, spotlighting the ground. “Looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day after all.” I brushed the slush from the top of her headstone. “I’ll come by more often. I promise. I’ll bring the kids by, too. They enjoy it when we visit Seth’s parents. Eliza swears she can see them flying around us whenever we stop by.”
I repositioned the rose before turning toward my car, stopping after a few steps. I angled back to my mother’s grave, admiring the headstone again for just a moment.
“I love you, Mom.”
Listen to the playlist for Unbearable
Other novels by Sherry:
Exciting news! Book one of the Port Fare Series, Unlovable, is being made into a movie! For all the latest news on the move, like my Unlovable Movie Page! Here!!
Unlovable (Book 1 of the Port Fare Series): High school senior Maggie Brown is truly the poster child for Heroin Chic, complete with jutting bones and dark-ringed eyes. But drugs are not Maggie's problem... her mother is. Seth Prescott is an undercover cop assigned to Port Fare High, and despite his job, he’s developed strong feelings for Maggie. Seth’s working tirelessly to flush out the sadistic drug peddlers that have invaded the small town of Port Fare, New York, while Maggie fights to stay alive as the search turns deadly. Seth and Maggie’s romantic journey is one of humor, heartbreak and self-discovery as their world is about to change forever.
Unbelievable (Book 2 of the Port Fare Series): Deliah Lopez Dreser’s in town to take care of family business. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but there’s more to Lilah than meets the eye. Cole’s in danger of losing his heart when this firestorm throws sparks his way. However, is she simply playing him for the fool in order to exact revenge for her brother’s murders? Maggie and Seth’s reaction when the truth is revealed pushes friendship to the limit. And this time around it won’t be a Dreser causing an uproar in Port Fare. It will be Cole's good friend Booker. But does Booker have it all wrong?
Not So Easy: Senior Max Sanchez has it all. He’s the star pitcher for Port Fare High’s baseball team. He’s dating the head cheerleader, Emma McKay, and he has a great group of friends. Junior JD Miller’s life is Not So Easy. Unlike Max, JD struggles with making friends. He’s a social misfit, and he’s being bullied at every turn. He’s also barely surviving. A tragic accident changes everything, merging their lives together, and Max soon learns that life is not so easy for everyone. Max works to the point of exhaustion trying to help JD survive the chaos that is his life, and his eyes are opened to a world he had no idea even existed. Not So Easy is a story about hope, surviving, and never giving up.
Pete & Tink A Novella: Pete Pancerella loves two things in life: Video games and Spongy Cremes. He’s happy, content, and he’s also a geek. All that is about to change when his mother wishes upon a star and Tink answers the call. But will it take more than a five-and-a-half inch faery to whip this manga-loving goofball into shape?
Loving Marigold : (Part of the A Fantasy Christmas anthology)Young Marigold Yarrow has a secret. She’s also in love with Jack Mahoney. In the middle of her ninth grade year, Jack's family up and moves to Port Fare, New York, leaving the small town of Sugar Maple, West Virginia - and Marigold - far behind. Nine years later Jack and Marigold meet again. They join forces to weed out the shady Abbott boys. The unscrupulous brothers are illegally selling moonshine near her home on Sugar Maple Ridge. And they'll do anything to get Marigold to leave the ridge. Anything. But this time it could be magic that tears Jack and Marigold apart.
The Experiment: Co-written by Jeffrey and Cindy C Bennett: Time is running out for the Collaborative's oppressive rule of the remote world Senca One. The government attempts to suppress the escalating riots, even while seeking to further their experiments. When their parents are taken, triplets Juliet, Cilla, and Emiah Tripp set out to locate them, and soon discover they are at the center of a hunt to capture them.
www.WordpaintingsUnlimited.com
Goodreads
Domestic abuse Hotline 1−800−799−7233
About the Author
Sherry Gammon's debut novel Unlovable quickly rose to the top seller list on Amazon. She has added several more novels to her body of work.
Sherry and her wonderfully supportive husband, currently call Upstate New York home, which is also the setting for her novels. It is where they are raising their family. Sherry has a degree in Legal Assisting, and served as a medical technician in the Air Force. She and her husband worked in foster care for a number of years, from which they adopted their youngest son. She has worked in the education system for a number of years, and is currently lucky enough to be teaching teenage girls, ages 12-18. She has lived in Michigan, California, Utah, Texas, Pennsylvania, and the beautiful, but over-taxed state of New York where she has spent the last eleven years, and now considers home. It is where she spends her nights writing instead of sleeping :}
Please drop by my webpage and say hi! I LOVE hearing from my readers!
www.WordpaintingsUnlimited.com
Amazon Edition
Amazon License Statement
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
All rights reserved. No parts of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Exceptions are reviewers who may quote short excerpts for review.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The characters are products of each author's imagination and are used fictitiously.
A Wordpaintings Unlimited Book
Distributed by Wordpaintings Unlimited and Sherry Gammon
All Rights Reserved USA
Cover Design by Sherry Gammon
Cover photo by: Michael Zysman | Dreamstime.com
Back cover photo: Mari1Photo Depositphotos.com
Continue for a sneak peek of The End of Feeling by Cindy C Bennett
Prologue
Benjamin
I don’t feel anything anymore.
If I were going to feel something, it would be for my sister, Mia. She’s gone now, has been for the last eight years since I was nine . . . and I somehow doubt she’s coming back.
I loved her when she was here. I tried to protect her.
I failed.
When he finally hurt her so badly that she nearly died, torn up inside and out, she came and took her. She left me here, left me with him, completely at his mercy. As far as I know, she didn’t even come back to se
I don’t hate her for that. I don’t even envy her that she got out so much earlier than even Mia. To do either of those things requires feeling, and I don’t feel. Anything. So I live with him still, numb and beyond caring. How else could I be?
One
Benjamin
Daniel and I relax at a table in the center of the common area. School begins in less than fifteen minutes, so many of the other students have already begun to gather their stuff and move toward their first period class. Those who remain behind, unhurried and unworried, are the seniors. It’s the sophomores and juniors that worry about being late.
Daniel sits on the bench, his back facing the table, elbows propped on the edge and his legs sprawled in front of him. I’m lying flat out on the top of the table, arms propped behind my head as we discuss the upcoming football game. Some of our other buddies are sitting around with us as well, but they’re almost unimportant. Daniel and I rule the school and they know it. The others serve the purpose of having a crowd to rule.
“Whoa,” Daniel says, sitting up straight. I turn my head in his direction. “Hot new girl at ten o’clock.”
I turn my gaze to the ten o’clock position and see nothing and no one unusual. I sit up and see that Daniel is staring straight ahead and roll my eyes. I should have known. Clearly Daniel has no idea how to read an analog clock. Every time he gives a position in relation to a clock, he’s nowhere near correct. I follow his eyes and see exactly who he’s looking at.
Alexis, Phoebe, and Cozi are emerging from the main office, and in the center of them is a stranger. Granted, with a school as large as ours, it’s not possible to know everyone, but she’s one I would have noticed. She’s about the same height as Phoebe, which puts her around five-and-a-half feet. She has straight, blonde hair. Nothing extraordinary in either of those features but she’s definitely on the gorgeous side of life, I can see that even from here. She laughs at something one of the other girls says and Daniel turns a look to me, grinning. Her laugh carries across to us, throaty and joyful, one of the greatest laughs I’ve ever heard.
“We should go say hi,” I say.
“That’s what I was thinking,” Daniel replies, scooping up his backpack from the floor as he rises. When we near the group, Alexis sees our approach. Her gaze finds mine and I see a flash of anger mixed with hurt. Her eyes flick to the new girl and then back to me as understanding dawns. She knows I’m not coming to see her, but to meet her new friend.
“Hey, guys,” Daniel says.
They all respond, except the new girl. I’ve got my gaze locked on her and she’s looking back.
“Hi, Benjamin,” Phoebe says.
“Hey, Phoebe,” I say, my gaze flicking to her quickly, dismissively, before returning to the new girl. She’s even better looking up close. Her eyes are a hazel green, wide and almond shaped, surrounded by thick, dark lashes. I wonder if they’re fake. Plenty of girls have fake lashes. “Who’s your new friend?”
“Oh, um, this is Charlie. Charlie, this is Benjamin and Daniel.”
I hold a hand out and her eyes look at it. She hesitates just a nanosecond before placing her hand in mine. She grasps my hand tightly, gives it a single firm shake then pulls her hand back before I have a chance to give her my usual soft squeeze and gentle brush of the thumb across the back of her hand. It always works to throw girls a little off, when they’re not sure if they’ve had their hand shaken or caressed.
Alexis bites the inside of her cheek and I can see she’s trying not to laugh over Charlie’s handshake. Alexis is one of my most recent heartbreaks—her heart, not mine. To be fair, I only went on two dates with her. That’s my absolute maximum. Any more than that and the girl might think I’m interested in some kind of relationship. Sometimes they fall too hard for me. If I’m being honest, most times they fall too hard for me. Not my fault. Alexis smiles at Charlie’s apparent rejection of the vibes I’m trying to project.
Charlie turns and juts her hand toward Daniel, giving him the same brusque handshake, but smiling at him as she does. Alexis laughs outright this time. I ignore her, awed by Charlie’s smile. It reveals deep dimples in both cheeks, with smaller ones at each corner of her mouth. Her smile is even better than her eyes and her laugh.
“Charlie?” I say. “That’s an unusual name.”
“Short for Charlotte,” she says, gazing directly at me. I try using my most intense, come-hither look. She remains unmoved.
“Down, Benjamin, she’s new here,” Cozi says, linking her arm through Charlie’s and leading her away. Daniel and I watch her go. Daniel is grinning, but I watch her intently. It’s not usual for a girl to be immune to me, particularly when I’m pouring on the charm.
Well, I decide, nothing like a good challenge to begin the football season.
Two
Charlie
“I’m home,” I call, stepping through the front door. I drop my backpack by the door, then remember my aunt’s obsession with order and pick it up again. I can hear the TV playing in the family room at the back of the house. I look around the strange entryway, allowing myself one moments longing for my grandma and her home where we lived until her death a month ago.
I walk into the family room and see my mom, sitting on the couch, watching Barney. I dig my nails into my palms. Man, I hate that stupid, annoying, dense, purple dinosaur. “Hi, Mom,” I say.
Mom jumps at the sound of my voice. She’d been too intent on Barney to hear my earlier greeting. She turns my way, a wide smile splitting her face. I smile back. Her eyes crinkle with joy as she jumps up from the couch, stray, wiry gray hairs escaping her messy ponytail. I grit my teeth at my aunt’s lack of care of her.
“Charlie!” my mom yells brightly, running to me and throwing her arms around my neck, kissing my cheek noisily. I hug her tightly, cringing at the slightly sour smell.
“Mom, did you take a bath today?”
“Mimi says I don’t have to bath today.”
“Mom, we talked about this, remember? You need to bathe every day.”
She shakes her head, mouth drooping. She refuses to shower, has ever since the incident. So we compromise with a bath, followed by a lotion rubdown. If she could manage to go a night without wetting her adult diapers, she could skip a bath. In all the time I can remember, she’s been able to skip only a handful.
“Should we go take a bath now?” I ask.
“Barney’s on,” she whines.
“Yes, and if you take a bath, you can play with your Barney toy. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
As fast as her mouth drooped, it now is replaced by a big smile. She claps happily and skips to the bathroom. I follow and run the water while she undresses, singing the annoying theme from the TV show. I pull the rubber band from her hair and dump water over her head. She blows bubbles as I do so. I get her washed as she happily plays with the big purple dinosaur and I then have to convince her to get out of the tub. Convincing her to get out is as difficult as getting her in.
Once she’s dried and dressed, she sits back in front of the TV to watch cartoons, Barney long since forgotten, while I start dinner. I’m angry that my aunt is still not home. I wonder how long my mom sat here alone, unsupervised, until I arrived.
She comes in when I’m just about done with the spaghetti, acting like nothing is wrong.
“Hi, Charlotte,” Naomi says. I bristle at the name. It’s not that I dislike the name; my grandma chose it for me because it was her own mother’s name. It’s because my aunt refuses to call me Charlie like everyone else does simply because it’s the nickname my mom gave me.
“Where were you?” I ask.
She stops in the act of setting her purse down to stare at me. “That’s none of your business.”
“It is when you leave my mom home alone,” I retort. “She can’t be left on her own.”
“I was gone maybe ten minutes before you got home from school. What can happen in ten min
A lot, I think. I refrain from telling her though, knowing our living here is precarious and based on staying in her good graces.
“I have a life, Charlotte. Allowing you two to move in didn’t include the requirement that I give up all my freedom.”
“I understand that,” I say, biting my tongue from telling her how selfish she is. “I’m coming home directly after school. I haven’t signed up for any extracurricular activities or anything. I’ll even get up early to bathe her if that’s too much to ask of you. All I do ask is that you watch her while I’m gone.”
Naomi sighs. “We need to talk.”
“It’s time to eat,” I say. I have a feeling I know what she’s going to say. I move past her to call my mom when she places a hand on my arm.
“Not all homes are bad places,” she begins, and fury consumes me.
“I will not place my mother in a home,” I spit.
“You shouldn’t have to give up normal teen things to take ca—”
“I don’t care!” I’m shaking with anger. “I don’t care about any of that. I’ll drop out of school if I have to. I’m not putting her in a home!”
Naomi sighs again and I’m tempted to punch her. What does she know of taking care of my mom? She abandoned ship as soon as she graduated high school to get away from the embarrassment of having my mom for a sister. Plus, she knows what happened when my grandma did buckle under pressure—from Naomi, no less—and put her in a home. How could she possibly subject her to that again?
“I know it’s not ideal—”
I spin away from her, refusing to listen to another word. I walk into the living room where my mom sits, curled up on the couch, a blanket pulled up to her ear in one hand, sucking on the thumb of her other. My shoulders sink in dismay as I walk over to her. Her eyes are glued to the TV, but I know she’s not watching it.